Celebrating Life in Recovery


Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Adam Schutte


Series Code: CLR

Program Code: CLR000120B

00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior.
00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:06 may be too candid for younger children.
00:17 Welcome back.
00:19 You know at all of the things that we cover here
00:21 and all of the testimonies that we do here Adam,
00:26 this is probably one of the most intense
00:28 because I can just see exactly what got you to this moment
00:32 but now this guy is dead and what is the next thing,
00:35 I mean you knew he was dead before you drove away, did you?
00:39 No.
00:40 He passed away a couple days later.
00:44 I ended up getting arrested about it over it,
00:48 and just started this whole court process
00:53 and you know trying to figure out,
00:56 you know, what's gonna happen to me after that.
01:01 So you getting arrested for murder?
01:03 Yeah.
01:04 Okay.
01:05 He pass away,
01:07 they charge me with first degree murder.
01:12 You know there is cameras,
01:14 cameras and my story
01:15 was in the newspaper everyday locally.
01:19 Can I ask you, when you talked about remember that
01:22 where you said that part of you that split off
01:23 and went into a quiet place, were you just freaking out?
01:29 You know, could you still hide in that quiet place?
01:35 I'm not sure, that time was a big blur.
01:37 Okay.
01:38 It was a lot happening.
01:40 I don't know, if there was just me
01:42 being constantly inside of myself
01:45 and just not even being there,
01:47 but it was just a lot of stuff happening all at once.
01:52 You know, I was charged,
01:53 I was arrested all the people that I hurt,
01:59 you know at that time
02:00 I still didn't care about that aspect of it,
02:02 but there was a lot of people who that were just
02:06 you know destroyed on both ends of that.
02:11 I think of myself that was the first time
02:17 I kind of wanted to lean on God,
02:24 at the time I thought hit peer intensions,
02:25 it was just I was-- I wanted to get out of the trouble.
02:28 Right, I just--
02:30 Yeah, I just didn't want to get in trouble,
02:32 and have to deal with the consequences of it.
02:33 I-- but on the surface
02:36 I thought I wanted to change my life.
02:39 But I didn't I just wanted to not be in trouble
02:41 for the things that I've done and I wanted to be--
02:43 Because murder is a big sentence.
02:45 You know somebody calls
02:46 that you can get a toe tag sentence.
02:47 Well, you're not gonna get out into your dad
02:49 and your toe is tagged,
02:51 so you know some people are looking at even that,
02:55 and you knew that's was a part what you were looking at.
02:57 Yeah, and so I just--
03:00 I was actually probably more trying to make a deal with God
03:03 to get me out of this situation.
03:04 And then I would change my life,
03:06 I wasn't actually wanting to change my life.
03:10 So what happened next?
03:12 So I'm going through the court process,
03:17 you know, I started attempting to go to church.
03:22 In jail? In jail.
03:24 I believe I had good intentions
03:27 but the core of it was just that
03:30 I wanted to not be in trouble.
03:31 But you know like, because I have to say
03:33 that a lot of people I mean, I'm well aware
03:37 of what the environment is like in jail
03:40 because you have whole culture in jail
03:42 and that violence carries over from the streets
03:45 right into the cell.
03:46 So even stepping into that culture
03:49 you really have to watch your back
03:50 and you really have to know what your doing
03:53 in order to survive in that environment.
03:56 And yeah, it's a different environment,
03:59 you just have to survive, you have to become a animal.
04:04 You cannot be soft, you cannot have feelings,
04:09 to survive you have to just become an animal,
04:13 and with me also there was a lot of people
04:19 that wanted to come after me also in jail in prison.
04:24 Because of this particular murder?
04:25 Because of what I did.
04:26 Okay.
04:28 And so I also had a lot of people,
04:31 you know, I had a contract out of my life inside,
04:33 and so I had to watch out for that also.
04:37 Because you were not a nice guy prior to getting there?
04:39 No.
04:40 You know, that's what I think a lot of you know that to me,
04:43 I heard along your journey
04:45 is that I've heard a lot of people.
04:46 So now, I'm in a place where I can't run
04:49 and a lot of those peoples friends are saying,
04:52 you know what we got him, he's right here.
04:56 And you know throughout all that
05:01 even though I wasn't aware of it at that time
05:02 God was protecting me for something bigger.
05:07 I continued to go,
05:09 you know, through the entire trial,
05:12 I ended up the jury of founding
05:16 not guilty of first degree murder,
05:17 but found me guilty of voluntary manslaughter.
05:20 And so I was sentenced to 11 or 12 years in prison.
05:25 And so the next step of my life as I go in there
05:30 and as soon as that happened, as soon as I was sentenced
05:33 and had to actually go to prison,
05:34 I completely dropped over God's stuff
05:37 because like I said earlier my intentions
05:38 weren't to want to change my life,
05:41 I was just agreeing to change my life
05:44 if I didn't get in trouble.
05:45 And so once I got in trouble the deal was out the window
05:48 and I didn't cared anymore.
05:49 Yeah, I don't need You anymore.
05:50 And I really, I started to believe in God
05:55 and so when that happened I blamed Him also,
05:58 just because I always needed somebody to blame,
06:01 everybody except for my self.
06:04 And so I just blamed God and I actually started
06:08 to grow worse in prison.
06:12 I was still violent,
06:14 I just constantly was doing drugs,
06:19 but in there--
06:20 I hate when you say that, but I know it's true
06:22 that you can get anything you want in most prisons.
06:25 Yeah, you can get anything you want in prisons,
06:28 there's-- is a sad fact of life.
06:33 So nothing has changed I just cant--
06:35 I am stuck in this square.
06:39 Stuck in this square.
06:40 Just hating violent I just, you know, living the life,
06:45 I just became the complete monster.
06:50 You know, I got a letter from my mother asking
06:56 if she come visit me
06:58 and my situation with my mother
07:01 was the same as with everybody else.
07:03 There is a point where she couldn't stand me
07:05 because she was just afraid of me
07:07 and I could care less about her.
07:11 But I agreed to let her come visit
07:13 and it was really awkward,
07:17 I guess I can sum it up by saying
07:19 when she left I got up instead of hugging my mother goodbye,
07:23 even though I was gonna be in prison
07:24 for 10 years I shook her hand.
07:27 That's how disconnected you guys were.
07:28 That's how disconnected we were, I shook her hand.
07:32 And but I just started allowing her to come,
07:37 there is this weird small seed planted in me.
07:39 I just want to cry for you and for her, yeah.
07:43 She wanted so much. The both of you.
07:48 I cry about still to this day.
07:50 I mean, I've given the guilt and everything over God
07:53 but I just feel so bad about everything
07:55 that I put her through.
07:56 So she continued to come visit?
07:58 Yeah.
08:00 You allowed it? I allowed it.
08:01 Eventually we started getting more cordial
08:03 and you know, and I started having--
08:11 there's a lot of people that are in prison
08:12 that are lifers that cant get out
08:14 but they want to change-- they've changed their lives.
08:16 They just can't get out.
08:19 And so they saw something in me
08:21 and they were trying to give me,
08:22 you know, good advice, influence
08:23 even though I was a young
08:24 just knucklehead kid who didn't care.
08:26 But I would listen and they told me
08:30 they said the first thing that broke the ice
08:32 that I realize that there's something really wrong
08:34 with my thinking as they go
08:36 why did you shake your mom's hand when she left?
08:39 And that was really weird.
08:41 You didn't give her hug, you shook her hand
08:43 like it was business deal or something.
08:44 And I'm like, that isn't normal?
08:47 Isn't that normal?
08:49 No, that's not normal at all.
08:50 And I was like, really?
08:54 I mean, I didn't understand that.
08:57 So I just-- I don't know,
09:00 I just started to getting old--
09:01 the whole life was just getting old
09:03 and I was running out of options.
09:06 And so I just slowly started listen
09:11 to the advice of these people that they're giving me
09:13 and they're like you know, try,
09:15 try even though you don't mean it
09:16 to just give your mom a hug.
09:20 Tell her that it's not her fault
09:21 that you are in here,
09:23 and I'm like I know it's not her fault.
09:25 I'm like well, she doesn't know that.
09:27 Yeah.
09:28 And I remember I told her that one time
09:30 and she just started bawling, I was like,
09:34 and I realized you really think
09:35 it's your fault that I'm in here.
09:38 You know, because my thinking was so messed up
09:39 and I didn't know how to associate with people
09:43 and I realized that
09:44 and that's when I started realizing
09:45 that everything I was doing
09:46 was really hurting everybody else to.
09:50 The real breaking moment where I just wanted to change
09:56 for the first real time ever was
09:59 when my 10-year-old brother came to visit me,
10:02 and this was just absolutely heartbreaking
10:04 because when he went to leave,
10:08 you know he's 10-years-old he didn't do anything.
10:13 I complained everybody else
10:14 but I cannot find a reason to blame him.
10:17 So you know, he looked at me and he just started crying.
10:23 And I said you want me to come with you honey?
10:24 He said yeah.
10:28 He said, I can't he started bawling,
10:31 and I'm never going back
10:32 just feeling the worst person in the world
10:34 because everybody else had hurt me
10:37 so I justified why they were hurt by me
10:41 but he never did anything to me accept love me.
10:47 That was the worst pain I've ever felt inside of me,
10:49 I just hated myself.
10:51 But for a--
10:54 I still couldn't believe that I did that to him,
10:59 and so I just you know I wanted to change.
11:07 For the first time ever.
11:08 For the first time ever,
11:10 I wasn't a 100 percent into changing
11:12 but I wanted to for the first time,
11:15 I wanted to because I just felt horrible.
11:19 What an incredible, you know, I feel like at that point
11:23 all of heaven knows that a man,
11:25 we got-- we can now go in
11:29 and start to bring some health and love
11:31 and mending to this kid.
11:35 And for the first time ever you're open to it.
11:39 And so slowly they have like programs inside
11:46 where I would allow myself to go to like
11:47 different group therapy sessions
11:49 and just I had to completely
11:53 just build myself up from the ground up.
11:54 I had no idea how to associate or talk with people in general,
12:01 you know, I had no social skills.
12:02 And even though there was no social skills,
12:05 no foundation when you talk about like,
12:08 even when you told us
12:09 a little bit even about your story is,
12:11 there is no-- I don't think
12:14 you had anything to reach in and find.
12:17 You have to literally say that people around you,
12:20 what do I need?
12:21 What's my next step?
12:22 I did, I just I told them I said,
12:23 I don't know how to be-- I don't know what to do?
12:27 I don't know how to talk to people,
12:28 I don't know how to associate
12:30 my reaction to everything is getting mad no matter what,
12:37 I don't know what to do.
12:38 And so it was a slow process
12:42 and at this time I had nothing to do with even God's still yet
12:45 it was just pure psychological help
12:47 and so I started to going to this programs
12:49 and I actually got into these programs
12:53 where like a school schedule,
12:55 I would just go to therapy classes all day
12:57 and they would work on certain parts of what to help me of.
13:00 Challenging your thinking.
13:01 Challenging me or just helping me
13:04 and it was different aspects of psychology,
13:06 different aspects of just being a social with people,
13:09 different aspects of adequate morality whatever in--
13:14 I would go just like a school schedule all day
13:17 and I would just live in this program
13:18 and do that all day for about two years
13:23 and then overall I did about six years
13:29 of just constant almost 24/7 therapy for six years,
13:36 before I got to the point
13:37 where I was ready to actually start
13:41 and accept what I have done
13:45 and start dealings with problems.
13:48 But I had to learn how to be a person first
13:51 before I could learn how to help,
13:54 what had been broken inside of me.
13:56 And even that you know, I love when you say that, Adam,
13:58 because you said you know like I had to learn,
14:01 you had to be human
14:02 before I could learn that man, I'm sorry.
14:05 Yeah.
14:06 You know, what I said was not okay.
14:09 What emotions were and how to deal with them.
14:15 So six or seven years in I got to the point were
14:22 I was ready to really work on myself,
14:26 I was ready to really getting myself over to God
14:29 and keep in mind this whole time,
14:30 I'm still doing lots of drugs.
14:31 I'm just-- you know I didn't know
14:33 how to do anything, I'm still just high 24/7
14:37 because I'm not ready to just be alone with myself.
14:41 And I actually got invited to this class at church chapel
14:49 called Celebrate Recovery.
14:51 I had known nothing about it, I never heard about it,
14:55 I don't even know who signed me up and invited me
14:58 but I went for some reason.
15:00 And I loved it. I loved the people.
15:03 I loved the honesty.
15:05 It wasn't fake, you know,
15:09 and they were able to say that the reason
15:13 that they've changed is God.
15:15 You know as opposed to, you know higher power.
15:19 I'm not putting that down and so wonderful thing,
15:22 but we were able to openly say
15:24 God is the reason I'm not doing drugs everyday,
15:28 and He is the only reason.
15:31 He is the only reason that I changed my life,
15:32 He is the only reason that my family loves again,
15:36 you know, and I'm saying the same thing now today.
15:39 And so at point we talked about
15:41 even at the beginning of the program
15:43 optimism or hope or faith,
15:45 you know you started to have faith
15:48 that there is a God bigger than this
15:49 that can actually pull me out of this craziness.
15:52 Yeah, well, I looked at it
15:54 and like some people were given me the story.
15:57 Well, yeah, you can go to church
15:58 but you're still human, you're gonna sin.
16:00 And I'm thinking, well, that gives the--
16:03 that gives the devil more power than God.
16:06 And at this point I did believe in God
16:07 and I'm thinking no God has more power than the devil.
16:10 So He does have the power to change you.
16:13 And that's what I was thinking its--
16:16 if people are taught that even though you want to change
16:21 you are still not going to because you're still
16:23 just human, you're still gonna sin,
16:25 than you are taking a lot of power away from God
16:27 and you are saying that the devil
16:28 actually is more powerful than Him in that aspect.
16:32 And I don't believe he is.
16:33 And I love that, because you are talking
16:35 about from a gangster for somebody on the street,
16:38 somebody that powers stuff is important,
16:40 that balance of powers are important.
16:43 And you're saying that you kidding me
16:44 you want me step over and give my life
16:46 to the somebody that can't do it.
16:50 And what I really believe, I love what you said
16:53 'cause I believe that as God can do it.
16:55 The balance of the powers not even,
16:57 it's not even close.
16:58 The devil may scare us or lie to us
17:00 and say he has more powers
17:01 but its all bravado its not true.
17:04 And a lot of people are taught that,
17:05 I think its sad but you know that's,
17:09 I think that's the activating power,
17:11 especially even if its just not even
17:13 from a religious stand point,
17:14 just a psychological stand point,
17:16 if you don't believe something's possible
17:18 then you'll never gonna accomplish it.
17:19 Exactly.
17:20 If you believe that it can be accomplished,
17:22 you know, even though they are naysayer's
17:24 and people saying, you know, saying you can't do it.
17:26 If you believe it you can still do it
17:28 then you're gonna do it.
17:30 And you had to believe it.
17:32 And if you're gonna have somebody like you,
17:35 if you're gonna change in my life you got to be for real.
17:37 Yeah.
17:38 Cause this is serious talk.
17:39 Yeah, I had some pretty major problems defect
17:42 so I wasn't gonna be anything less than a supernatural force.
17:48 You know, God himself coming down
17:49 and doing a miracle to change me.
17:51 That's incredible.
17:53 And so you know what I mean is,
17:54 He was-- if you're just talking about,
17:57 you know, telling a it why
18:00 and everyone else doing something
18:02 and stuff like that and you can excuse the fact
18:04 that you're just human you're gonna sin
18:06 but I had a different level of stuff
18:10 that needed to be fixed
18:11 in that explanation didn't work for that.
18:14 I needed something that was really gonna change me.
18:17 Miraculously. Miraculously.
18:19 I need a miracle.
18:21 And so I knew, you know, logically that
18:27 God has to be more powerful then the devil
18:29 so if He can change me then He can.
18:33 And so you surrendered?
18:35 Thing is so I surrendered.
18:38 That's powerful.
18:39 Yeah, but I had to realize that first,
18:43 I had to realize that He could do that
18:45 just by everything else,
18:46 before I was gonna take that step
18:48 and I did and I just-- I stopped doing drugs
18:54 and 2006 October 18th is when I stopped.
18:59 In prison?
19:01 In prison, and I stopped doing that.
19:07 I just-- I started going to church.
19:10 I really gave it a chance.
19:11 So you know what I want to know, Adam,
19:14 when is the first time you actually felt joy
19:16 for the first time?
19:18 Because how cool is that?
19:25 Probably about after I really decided to change my life
19:28 about six or eight months later,
19:34 when my mom and I could see it in her eyes
19:37 she realized I was really changing
19:41 and she's my mom so she's always been proud of me,
19:43 but I could just see that she knew
19:48 that I was actually changing
19:51 and the joy that brought her to know that made me
19:55 for the first time ever just really,
19:59 just be really happy about what was going on
20:01 and just be able to just say I like my life right now.
20:06 And you go back to the time,
20:08 and I don't know if we actually go back to the time
20:09 but to the time as a little boy,
20:11 that's what you very want to have this family
20:14 that was right, that felt love and joy and happiness
20:18 and for even years later after all of that drama,
20:21 all of that stuff in prison for that moment, you got it.
20:26 Because of God, how cool is that?
20:31 And it was just the best feeling in the world.
20:35 After that I started just,
20:39 you know, reevaluating everything.
20:41 Why can't I go to college?
20:43 And you know so I enrolled in college,
20:45 I'm still trying to go, I've already--
20:48 I've gotten associates degree in psychology.
20:52 Just why can't I just completely change my life,
20:54 every aspect of it and just start over
20:56 and that's what I did?
20:57 So even in when you said you fragmented
21:00 and you created these personalities
21:02 how did God kind of bring that back together?
21:08 See that's a weird one, that one's just a miracle
21:10 because I don't know the exact moment
21:13 that He healed me of that,
21:17 but I remember waking up one day
21:20 and thinking back in the past six months,
21:22 I'm thinking well, that hasn't been there.
21:26 I don't know when it actually left
21:27 but I'm really thinking back
21:28 and thinking that's not there anymore.
21:31 Amen.
21:33 And you know and especially that
21:38 there's nothing that I can take.
21:39 There's no amount of psychological help
21:41 that can take that away.
21:42 You can manage it but there's nothing
21:45 that just gonna take it away and we were just thinking,
21:49 you know that's a miracle that's what--
21:50 I want to say, you know, and then you got out of jail,
21:54 to another thing that's a miracle after how long?
21:56 After 10 years.
21:58 So 10 years you get out of jail, readjusting to,
22:01 you know, before we go in there,
22:02 I know that a few people in the cafe
22:04 have questions they want to ask.
22:06 I think we need another hour with just you and I
22:09 but we're gonna open it up to the cafe,
22:12 I know Pastor Jim, you are here visiting us,
22:15 do you have a question for him?
22:17 Comment?
22:18 Adam, I have a question.
22:21 Just a minute ago, Cheri was asking about
22:23 the first time that you recall feeling joy,
22:27 and it may be think about something I've read
22:30 in some of the literature that sociologist study
22:34 a lot about human connection Brene Brown,
22:36 and she says that joy is probably
22:39 the most vulnerable of all human emotions.
22:43 And that often times people that experience joy
22:48 sometimes will triggered back
22:49 into old behaviors or patterns of living.
22:53 Have you been able to experience joy
22:55 and continue to walk in joy?
23:00 I think to continuing is I've also,
23:05 you know, I started teaching Bible study classes.
23:10 I started telling my story
23:12 and when I can see that people relate
23:14 and when I see that I'm helping lead people
23:17 to the Lord helping them understand the Bible better,
23:21 you know, or just having them relate to a store
23:23 that they think nobody else ever would
23:26 because they have the same story as me
23:28 and you know you just think nobody lives that type of life.
23:35 I feel content and my whole life
23:38 I never really felt joy, I never really felt content
23:42 and even though yeah, it's a vulnerable
23:45 I just, I love it.
23:48 I've never felt that before and it's a good feeling
23:51 and I've never felt good feelings before
23:52 so I wouldn't trade that for anything else.
23:55 And so if I ever feel like
23:57 we're reverting back to my old life,
23:59 I just its-- it was so bad
24:02 it's almost like a no brainier.
24:03 It's so bad I'm not gonna go back to that pain.
24:06 I'm just gonna stay here and be content, follow God
24:08 and have Him just continue to bless my life
24:11 and have me be happy
24:12 because this is all I've ever wanted.
24:14 You know, I have to say that Adam,
24:16 in most 12 steps programs they will say,
24:19 step 12 is you go out and tell someone
24:21 and you share your story and you be able to do that
24:24 and part of that we'll keep you in recovery.
24:26 Say and like you said as every time
24:28 all of this stuff that even if the enemy,
24:31 the devil meant to destroy you,
24:34 God is using it to build up someone with
24:36 and there is something that's really incredible about that,
24:39 that you know all things work together for good
24:42 to those who love God.
24:43 How can your story work together for good,
24:45 yeah you see it in front of you all the time now?
24:50 It's like you said,
24:51 it's what the devil use to hold me down,
24:55 what he used to hold,
24:56 you know, for me to think about
24:57 and just be shameful and just disgust it on myself.
25:02 What used to be my worst enemy
25:04 you know inside myself as my old past and all that
25:06 I now use as a weapon against him.
25:09 Amen.
25:10 So the exact same thing
25:11 he was using us as a weapon against me,
25:13 I take it and I say oh yeah,
25:15 well, now I'm gonna share my story
25:17 and I'm gonna use the exact same thing against you.
25:19 And I'm gonna watch God bless it.
25:21 That's so cool,
25:23 we have a Barnie and you had a question.
25:27 My question is kind of similar to his.
25:29 Just tell now when you come across situations
25:33 that make you angry,
25:35 how do you deal with anger now?
25:38 I don't want to say it's not easy,
25:40 it's a lot of hard work,
25:41 you know, you got to get up every day,
25:43 you got to pray, you got to read the Bible,
25:46 you got to stay connected to the Spirit.
25:50 You got to have the spiritual protection
25:53 as opposed to, you know,
25:54 you can want to do it, you know, be changed
26:00 and not go back
26:01 but you're still every once in a while
26:02 you're gonna have the temptation to do it.
26:03 So you need something else with you
26:05 and that's gonna over power your own short comings
26:08 and that's what God does for me.
26:10 And so you have to just get up
26:12 and make sure you pray listen to Him,
26:15 read the Bible everyday and just go out there
26:18 and know that you're not out there alone,
26:20 and don't be scared to asking Him for help
26:23 when you need it.
26:25 That's incredible,
26:26 because for years and years and years in your life
26:30 you never asked anybody for help.
26:32 You know you gonna do it on your own.
26:33 And so the fact that God says I'd like you to summit to Me,
26:37 I'd like you to surrender to Me,
26:39 and let Me help you,
26:40 that's a huge step just that in your recovery.
26:45 I just, I'm so proud of you, I just have to say that.
26:48 Okay one more question Brad, you had a question.
26:51 I do, and I just want to first say
26:53 thank you sharing your story
26:54 because I believe lots of men probably women too,
26:58 but I'll speak for the men
27:00 that at least the ones that I know deal with anger,
27:02 may be not to the level that you experienced it,
27:05 but I can speak personally and certainly an issue
27:08 that I've dealt with, Cheri, knows all to well
27:11 and she calls me puffer fish sometimes,
27:15 you know but that for been able to speak at that
27:18 and put on a table tremendous,
27:19 I want to ask a different kind of question,
27:22 because I was commenting earlier about dude,
27:24 you'd never think that this was part of your past
27:26 by how you look now.
27:28 And so I just have would like to know,
27:31 how's your mom feeling now?
27:32 How's your 10-year-old brother--
27:33 well he's not 10 anymore but you know,
27:36 what's that like for you to have been this place now,
27:38 and I'm sure it brings a joy to them
27:40 to see what has happened?
27:41 It's awesome.
27:42 They-- because everybody
27:44 in my family has changed also.
27:47 We all kind of when I started over
27:49 they started over also,
27:52 stepfather included everybody.
27:54 We're all just-- you know,
27:58 we make sure we tell each other
28:00 we love each other all the time.
28:02 We give each other hugs all the time.
28:03 We try to spend time with each other.
28:06 It's just one of my favorite things to do
28:12 is just to sit and talk with my family.
28:14 I just laugh and just spend time with them.
28:17 I love them to death.
28:19 I love laughing with my little brother,
28:20 I love laughing with my dad, I love laughing with mom
28:23 and just you know, just spending time with them.
28:26 It just really brings a smile on my face,
28:30 even just thinking about it right now
28:32 just being with them, I love them all so much.
28:35 And you don't take that for granted?
28:37 No.
28:38 What's really incredible--
28:40 Because I know it is important.
28:41 Yeah.
28:42 I've had the opposite, I've had, you know, no family
28:47 and so I just cherish every moment with them
28:50 and I just love them to death.
28:52 Amen.
28:53 We're gonna take a break and then come back
28:55 and do a close and I'd like you to come back,
28:58 and I'm gonna ask you two things,
29:00 I'm gonna ask you to speak to the family
29:03 that is watching their loved one
29:04 that so lost in their hatred and in their anger
29:07 and spinning out of control and maybe even in prison,
29:09 and them I'm asking you to speak to that guy
29:13 that doesn't know on how to come out of that.
29:16 Okay, would you join me? Yeah.
29:18 Okay, we'll be right back.
29:20 Are you proud of God? I'm so proud of God.
29:23 There's nothing as too big for me.
29:25 Nothing I can go into this the most hopeless situations
29:29 and breathe life into that, bring joy to that,
29:32 bring hope optimism and help, to that.
29:35 All you have to do is give me anything
29:38 and I will bless you.
29:39 Just make the first step even if it's a baby step.
29:42 We will be right back.


Revised 2015-01-29