Celebrating Life in Recovery


Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Alvy Quispe


Series Code: CLR

Program Code: CLR000115B

00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior.
00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:06 may be too candid for younger children.
00:13 Welcome back.
00:14 You know, it's really interesting as I travel,
00:19 I get to meet families that are just incredible
00:23 in the way they stand up,
00:24 in the way they love each other.
00:26 And when I say that a lot of times
00:28 somebody will say, you know,
00:30 here they probably haven't gone through
00:31 what I've gone through.
00:33 You know, not true.
00:35 I don't know if I've met a family
00:37 that doesn't have something that they are dealing with.
00:39 And so you know we're talking today
00:41 about belief and holding on
00:44 and you know how it changes us
00:47 and brings healing into our life
00:48 and I can understand that there is a God
00:50 bigger than all my stuff that is on top of things.
00:54 That He's got His hand on me.
00:56 And so I want to introduce you to a friend of mine,
00:58 Alvy Quispe.
01:00 And you're from California. That's right.
01:02 You're from California originally?
01:04 No, from Uruguay, South America.
01:06 Okay.
01:07 You've been here for how long? California for how long?
01:09 Oh, since 1990.
01:11 Okay. Yes.
01:13 When I talked to you about-- you heard me talking about
01:15 belief and Abby the little girl
01:17 and the importance of holding on.
01:22 You know, how do you relate to that?
01:24 I relate to that in a different way for the fact
01:26 that I was raised in a Christian home
01:29 where I was nurtured faith and belief.
01:34 And I learned to trust God
01:37 and yet God was so far away somewhere in the sky
01:41 and I was this little girl down as here
01:44 and I didn't know who Christ is.
01:45 I was the youngest in the family.
01:47 And my sisters were so beautiful
01:49 and so appreciated
01:52 and then I had a brother before me and he was adore
01:56 and I was just little last one
01:58 and I didn't know where to fit.
02:00 And so I went to sleep almost every night
02:04 because I didn't know where to fit in the family and with God.
02:09 Was I good enough, perfect enough?
02:11 And I-- Pretty enough.
02:13 I was pretty enough. Oh, man.
02:18 I was most chubby and you know, anyhow.
02:22 I didn't have the nice voice that my sisters have.
02:25 And I was that but I pressed on to the Bible
02:28 and I started reading the Bible very young.
02:30 And I read the Bible every year
02:32 and I would have prayed and ask God.
02:34 Please Lord, where are You?
02:37 And where do thoughts come from?
02:39 Why do I feel that I'm stupid and dump?
02:42 Why do I feel that I hate You?
02:44 Well, how do-- why do I feel like
02:46 I want to kick my brother?
02:48 And I did it. But I wanted to relate Jesus.
02:52 So what a confusion between faith
02:55 who God is, needn't to be like Jesus, not being like Him.
02:59 And being afraid that I would be lost.
03:03 And even when you say that for this little girl,
03:06 you know, you couldn't have had any concept
03:10 of how the frustration or the sadness
03:13 or the disconnect related to your behavioral activity.
03:17 I mean, no concept at all.
03:18 And so you know, to me I'm wanting to halt her
03:22 and I'm wanting to say amen.
03:24 Yeah.
03:25 And I have the Bible and the Bible
03:26 just says this is all about light.
03:27 I mean, light in darkness. Yeah.
03:30 And not getting how to get through things
03:34 and then I grew up and since like I was growing up,
03:37 my problems became bigger.
03:39 I became ill.
03:40 They would tell me that it was only in my mind
03:42 that I was crazy and I was literally dying.
03:45 I say, went through academy.
03:47 I, high school and then I took nurses training
03:51 just to find out what I had.
03:53 Because you knew it was something real.
03:55 Yeah. This is-- I'm sick.
03:57 Really? Yeah. Yeah.
03:59 And I thought I had cancer.
04:01 In the last year they discovered what I had
04:04 and they did surgery.
04:06 And they took the tumor out. It was malignant.
04:10 But the trauma of being go crazy,
04:15 all the teenage years and even up to 21,
04:19 nobody takes care of that.
04:21 So you, you shrink more into the little girl
04:27 that is lost thought my body is growing
04:29 and I'm supposed to be mature and okay.
04:31 And I'm hanging on to God but I'm--
04:35 And functional because you said
04:36 I went to nursing training.
04:38 So you literally going through education
04:41 doing all that kind of stuff.
04:42 And so if somebody was on the outside
04:44 looking at your life, it was progressing like it should.
04:47 Yes. And now it's like ugh!
04:49 It looked good--
04:50 You know, and you just--
04:51 sometimes I want to scream at that
04:53 because I want to-- we kind of walk by each other
04:56 and have no idea the stuff that we have in our hearts
05:01 and the things that are eating at us.
05:02 Yes.
05:03 I mean, if we did we would be holding each other
05:07 and smiling at each other
05:08 and slowing down with each other a little bit.
05:11 I wish there was like a kindergarten
05:13 quilt these things can be explained to everybody.
05:16 Correct.
05:18 Anyhow and I'm in the last year of nursing
05:21 when I met this adorable man.
05:24 Oh, man, I was so in love with him.
05:27 I had to be caught him with my eyes
05:29 and my heart for a whole year before he knew I existed.
05:32 Oh.
05:33 And then he met me
05:35 and I'm coming out of this problem
05:36 with a surgery and all that.
05:38 And he looks at me Cheri, and he tell me,
05:41 oh, you're so precious and I love you
05:44 and I'm gonna take care of you.
05:46 And he listened to me and held my hands.
05:50 And your whole heart just healed.
05:52 I could-- I could sense even the healing as you speak.
05:56 It was so beautiful. It was so beautiful.
05:59 It is the little thing he even decided--
06:01 he was in the university next to the hospital
06:03 where I was taking the nurses training.
06:05 Rules that didn't allow to cross in and all of that
06:09 and he decided to have an appendectomy in the hospital
06:12 just to be closer to me.
06:13 Okay.
06:15 That's a little odd but really romantic.
06:18 Oh, yes, very romantic.
06:20 You should have saved that little,
06:21 little piece of his body in a jar.
06:23 Wouldn't he love that? All right.
06:27 And so we got married, okay.
06:31 And after we got married he was like the guy,
06:35 he was teaching, he was studying,
06:37 his friends, and things began to change.
06:42 He was beautiful but became resentful
06:47 and detach and withdraw
06:50 and I'm going what is happening?
06:51 Right.
06:53 Years went by, we came to the United States
06:56 and we pastor.
06:58 Did you have children?
07:00 So-- yes, we had two beautiful children.
07:03 And so Cynthia and Edgar
07:06 and here we're pastoring churches
07:07 but this guy is getting more angry with me
07:10 and very upset and beating on me for more stuff.
07:14 And telling me that not even God could change me
07:19 and that there was no hope for me
07:22 and all that I had learned in the Bible
07:25 that is so beautiful about God loving me
07:28 and giving me hope, that there is hope for me.
07:31 It was like my ministry was taken it away from me
07:34 and I began to shrink.
07:37 Again.
07:38 Emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
07:42 At first I thought it I became like a tigress.
07:47 No, like Job. No, it's not true.
07:49 I'm good.
07:50 There is something good about me.
07:51 Look at yourself.
07:53 And no, he was a pastor.
07:55 He was educated besides that he was getting our PhD
07:59 and family and marriage counseling.
08:01 He knew everything. I didn't know anything.
08:05 So a lot of emotional abuse, mental abuse--
08:12 And we're talking about even belief.
08:15 So the belief that you had has a little girl is the one--
08:18 Was disappearing.
08:20 And now I'm literally--
08:22 It was disappearing
08:24 because when someone abuses somebody
08:29 and steals from you what God is giving you,
08:32 you begin to doubt yourself.
08:35 Something begins to disappear and I began to disintegrate.
08:39 I began to enter into suicidal depression.
08:42 And it was like demons were shouting at me.
08:45 You're no good. You're good for nothing.
08:47 You're junk and even God,
08:51 all this that you're in is a lie.
08:53 And I would read and cry and the devil would take it.
08:57 And so demons would shout on me in my head.
09:01 Right.
09:02 Curse God and kill yourself.
09:06 Just about that--
09:07 When you say, Alvy, when you say
09:10 demons and I hate to even approach this topic
09:12 because people get really freaked out about that.
09:15 But you know literally we have an enemy that says,
09:18 I am His relentless, he's relentless.
09:21 And when you shout out even the Word of God
09:26 when it's so important I think at that time
09:29 to just really kind of hold on what you know
09:32 about the truth and what God is saying.
09:34 There's a time when we slide into the darkness
09:37 and we like, oh, that truth
09:38 and just start to believe the lies.
09:40 Yeah.
09:42 And that is that power of darkness
09:44 that is all around us.
09:46 And if anybody has a problem with believing in this forces
09:51 and demonic force, we should not be freaked out.
09:54 We should accept that there is a reality
09:58 but there is a greater reality in the light and in truth
10:02 and in faith that God can deliver us from this.
10:05 And so there is that constant conflict
10:08 over every human being.
10:10 Why where you there where you were?
10:12 Because somebody took you there
10:14 and didn't want you to come out from there.
10:17 And so the issue of believe in faith
10:19 is what this dark power is trying to take away from us
10:24 though it was given to us even as children.
10:27 Amen, so at this point in your life
10:30 that darkness is starting to-- tell them all around you.
10:37 But I discovered something in the Word of God
10:40 in John 14 versus--
10:44 "Let not your heart be in trouble."
10:47 I'm going to prepare a place for you but I'm coming back.
10:51 But later on He says, the Father is in Me.
10:55 God the Father is in Jesus and Jesus is in the Father
11:00 and they said and we will come and abiding you.
11:03 And it just blew me
11:04 because I had read that so many times.
11:07 But God now was in large and He did making it
11:09 so full of light and said, we, papa God.
11:14 Jesus your Savior, through the Holy Spirit
11:17 are coming to dwell in you,
11:19 to restore what it was lost one day.
11:22 Amen.
11:24 And I grasped that. Hold on to that.
11:26 And I had cling to-- that's belief in truth
11:30 the truth that I did not understand before.
11:34 For me until then God is there, Jesus is there,
11:37 everything happens far away.
11:40 All of a sudden heaven comes down
11:43 and He sat inside of me.
11:46 So-- and this next question
11:49 because I somewhat know the answer.
11:52 Is did everything get better because of that?
11:55 No.
11:57 One day I come home and I had been just
12:02 doing a mediation, a situation
12:05 where a pastor had been unfaithful
12:08 and dealing with the other part that had been affected
12:13 and there was cover up and I was mad,
12:17 I was actually-- We cannot do this,
12:19 we need to have people to deal with honesty
12:22 with their issues.
12:23 And I faced my husband and I said,
12:25 if you ever dare to be unfaithful to me that's it.
12:31 The Bible says that adultery, that's it.
12:35 Yeah. We have a reason to split.
12:38 So I may not split because of
12:40 what is going on in the house though,
12:41 the abuse was so terrible but the adultery will do it.
12:46 And at that moment God spoke to me.
12:49 If you believe that God speaks in your mind,
12:52 in your thoughts and makes this so evidence,
12:56 so clear, the light enters and explains things
12:59 and He said, Alvy, you're asking Me
13:02 to fill you with myself.
13:06 You have no concept of what it is to love
13:11 the way I loved.
13:12 Oh, I knew you're gonna say that because that's huge.
13:14 Where God says is, this is gonna be tough.
13:16 This is gonna get darker before it get better
13:19 and I'm asking you to love him like I love you.
13:22 And I-- you know, even as you're saying that,
13:24 you know, what I want to say?
13:26 Don't say it because that's so--
13:29 how do we do that as human beings?
13:34 When he said do you really want Me?
13:40 This is whole thing that divides
13:43 the issue of believe and faith
13:44 and God and human beings.
13:46 Do you really want Me?
13:50 And I said, yes. Yeah.
13:53 I said you're going to go through things
13:58 and then I knew,
14:00 you're going someday to experience things
14:04 that you will not like.
14:07 But you need to go through that to learn how I love,
14:13 how I forgive, how I'm merciful.
14:16 How I'm kind. Do you want that?
14:19 And I said, Lord, I bow down.
14:22 I want you. I want you.
14:24 I want you.
14:25 And so now things didn't get better,
14:27 they got worse now.
14:30 The abuse-- You know, now.
14:31 Alvy, I've just have to say for a lot of us.
14:33 You know, we come into our Christianity.
14:35 When we come into a walk in we have this sense that,
14:38 okay, I'm gonna do that
14:40 and all it's gonna be a piece of cake.
14:42 And I think that we don't realize it.
14:44 God is trying to take-- we're so twisted
14:48 and we believe so many lies and He says,
14:50 to get you out from underneath all of that,
14:53 it's gonna be painful but I will be faithful
14:57 but you have to trust Me now.
14:59 It's gonna feel really dark.
15:00 And what you are saying to Him is okay,
15:03 I may not know anything right now
15:06 but I will hold on to your hand.
15:08 That's right.
15:09 Yeah, I believe that the God of my fathers,
15:14 of my ancestors, the God of Abraham,
15:19 the God of Jacob was gonna walk with me
15:22 and He was going to fulfill the promise
15:25 of the dwelling God.
15:28 They are taking over that where I surrender
15:32 and He is in me and not I anymore.
15:36 And it is-- I have to stay right now--
15:39 You know, that there is women and men
15:41 that are in abusive relationships,
15:43 that are probably crying as they are hearing you right now.
15:46 Because you can say it in a way
15:49 that it sounds incredible right now
15:51 but that was the most painful time in your life.
15:54 Does your own sanity was being questioned
15:57 and your stepping in knowing that its gonna get worse.
16:00 Yes. Man.
16:02 And the beauty of all of this--
16:09 we are in ministry right,
16:10 and it gets worse than sometimes,
16:12 I mean, probably giving seminars with my husband.
16:15 Having stand there looking beautiful.
16:16 Yes, because you show up you don't say a word
16:19 and I have a black eye so they ask
16:23 what's wrong with you.
16:24 What happened? Oh, I just ran into a door.
16:29 And you just keep on smiling and keep on
16:31 and you don't give it any thing.
16:33 You don't talk.
16:35 Where does the pastor's wife goes to talk about
16:39 what is happening with a pastor that is respected and adore
16:43 and he is going all over in different parts of the world
16:48 and what he said many times if the wife opens the mouth
16:56 and says something, says most likely you are the servant
17:00 because the person that is so wonderful.
17:02 Of course, you provoke him. You must have told something.
17:05 Yeah, you provoke him. It's your fault.
17:08 And that was the worst next step
17:12 I began to believe that it was all my fault.
17:16 And I trust so hard
17:18 but there was nothing that I could do.
17:20 Because it wasn't you.
17:21 And escalated and escalated and so--
17:25 You know, and you do hear so many stories
17:28 where all the sudden the woman will make everything perfect
17:32 and the house perfect and everything clean
17:35 and dress right in, the act right and whatever
17:38 and teen se got abuse and they try to look out
17:40 what did I forget
17:41 because I must have forgot something.
17:43 So the pressure on trying to do right
17:48 so I don't get abused, the pressure is off the chart.
17:53 And so--
17:54 And the pressure maybe the worse
17:57 is what is happening to the children.
17:59 Because they just are in the background.
18:01 When a man can go both ways because women abused to,
18:06 okay.
18:07 So when a man abuses a woman the children are being abused
18:13 and they don't have the skills to--
18:15 if I didn't have the skills to process my emotions
18:17 with anybody children don't either.
18:22 They just covered in all that adrenaline
18:24 begins to work in their little brains
18:26 and do a lot of ugly stuff.
18:29 Even because the devil is very strategic
18:31 and when he gets into the life of a child
18:33 during that situation
18:35 but there is a recent study that I saw that
18:37 said that a lot of same sex relations
18:42 or homosexual relationships are chosen,
18:45 that lifestyle is chosen
18:47 because they are repulse by their parents
18:50 real sexual relationship.
18:51 I was so repulse by how a man treats a woman
18:54 or woman treats a man that I don't want that
18:56 and they step into a whole lifestyle
18:59 because of that.
19:00 So we really do affect our children.
19:02 Whether it's with anger, with drugs,
19:04 with sexual orientation,
19:05 all of that stuff is gonna come in.
19:07 And I love you son.
19:10 Him and I've gotten to work together.
19:12 He is an incredible man of God.
19:14 Yes, please.
19:15 My both children are precious.
19:17 He was and I haven't met your daughter yet
19:18 but you know, he was affected.
19:20 Yes, both offensively affected.
19:22 Okay, if we move forward, at first the children were
19:30 very upset with dad
19:33 and my daughter specially wanted
19:35 that I would divorce
19:36 and protect them from all of this
19:43 and but then as they grew up
19:46 and that became more openly rebellious
19:51 to lifestyle and other things.
19:55 Children begin to side with dad, against mom.
19:59 Yeah. And it was held at home.
20:05 I could hardly open my mouth to say anything
20:08 that I was told to be quiet.
20:10 If I didn't like it I could leave
20:12 and he could from anybody.
20:14 I could not ask for favors or anything
20:17 and so I asked God in my brokenness,
20:20 in my darkness, in my imperfection
20:23 because I was not perfect.
20:25 Many times I scream and I shouted,
20:29 I did in cars I did in--
20:31 but I screamed this is not fair.
20:33 You're wrong.
20:34 And God would say go now and apologize
20:37 because that is not My spirit.
20:38 You didn't scream.
20:41 And I was like look at them.
20:44 I'm so not gonna apologize with them.
20:47 And no God,
20:50 but that was not me and you want the fullness of Me
20:53 so you go and apologize.
20:55 Oh, just get out of here.
20:56 You know, you always apologize
20:58 but you'll never make it, you'll never change.
21:02 Okay.
21:03 And so I'm having these, these all in the house.
21:09 And one day my husband comes, he is precious.
21:14 You know him, he looks like an angel.
21:16 He does.
21:18 And so he sits down next to me on the bed.
21:23 You would never guess any of that looking at him
21:26 and looking at you guys when you're out of the house.
21:29 You-- nobody would have ever guess anything.
21:31 All our family thought we were the perfect couple.
21:34 We were admiring in the churches
21:36 and we were admired by the family.
21:39 And so I knew something was very wrong.
21:42 I realized I questioned my husband,
21:45 he was being unfaithful
21:47 and here start the years of lying
21:50 and covering up and blaming and justifying.
21:54 So he was being unfaithful? He was being unfaithful.
21:56 But it's a question of doubt again.
21:58 Yes.
21:59 And I remember the day he sit down
22:01 on the bed by my side
22:04 and he said, I have come to believe
22:10 that probably I never left you.
22:14 Because I could have never done this, you know,
22:21 but he has not admitted that I just don't think
22:23 I love you anymore.
22:28 So he never admitted it to me for years.
22:31 I had evidence, letters, phone calls,
22:36 I even when discovered the phones
22:39 called this precious lady
22:42 and said you know, I lied.
22:47 She said I'm a friend of Dr. Quispe
22:52 and I know you are hurting him so much and his family.
22:55 Why don't you back off? Please.
23:03 But who is to blame.
23:05 So, over phone, oh, no, we are just friends.
23:15 We went through this for five years
23:21 and I was told by counselors
23:26 and people within the church, leaders
23:29 I'll be divorced.
23:31 Yeah, just leave him.
23:32 Bible says you can leave him. Yeah.
23:36 And I had to ask God.
23:41 Many times that we cry and lay down on the carpet
23:45 and pound on the carpet sometimes
23:47 I would be driving, crying in the car
23:50 and banging the steering wheel Lord, I cannot take it anymore.
23:54 And He would always tell me, I know.
23:57 I know you cannot take it anymore
24:00 but I'll give you strength.
24:03 You know, what I love when you say that
24:06 because you said God, kind of just letting you know,
24:09 you know, I've done that with you guys forever.
24:12 I mean, children of Israel,
24:13 I mean, now when He talk about Hosea and Gomer.
24:17 You know, I've watched you chase after lovers
24:19 or addictions that have never worked
24:21 and God himself says I scream.
24:24 Because it pains Me so much
24:26 to watch you so self destructive.
24:28 But I can't stop chasing you.
24:30 And He is telling you to do that for Rene.
24:32 And he was your strength and he was my strength.
24:36 We didn't know.
24:38 He is the one that has move us
24:40 out of where we were and taken us through it
24:43 into that restoration of oneness with Him.
24:47 You're path, my path everybody's is a different path
24:50 but he is the same path back to oneness with God.
24:53 So during this time you are holding on him.
24:56 I'm holding on and here comes until to divorce him
25:01 because God does not work against a human--
25:05 the human beings will.
25:09 So if my husband Rene doesn't have a will to change
25:16 God will not work against that
25:19 and when they told that repeatedly
25:24 God would become like--
25:25 the spirit of God would become set inside of me.
25:28 And will say when I come back to earth
25:30 will I find faith
25:32 that I can't change the will of human beings.
25:35 Do I find faith anywhere?
25:37 Anywhere. Anywhere.
25:39 And so especially, you know, pastor
25:41 and here comes the shock of it God says,
25:45 I rather sell My soul to the devil
25:47 than love a woman like you.
25:50 I read that would be lost and I asked God Lord,
25:54 where is my husband.
25:55 He says, he is lost.
25:57 Because he untie himself for me.
26:02 And I stay there and say what do I do with that?
26:05 He says this is not about your marriage,
26:08 this is about the salvation of a human being
26:10 in which you are intertwined.
26:13 Okay, so what do You want me to do?
26:15 I just want to read because this is about your soul
26:17 and I love him.
26:19 Yes.
26:20 And He says-- I said to Him would you gain me.
26:25 But as a woman I can't imagine--
26:27 I can't even imagine because I--
26:30 I can't even imagine that I don't know
26:31 how the Lord did it.
26:33 Like any other woman I wanted to say run, run,
26:36 but God is saying no.
26:37 Yeah.
26:39 I was so three years-- that he stuff out of the house,
26:42 locked the doors.
26:43 So it. Yeah, glad.
26:46 Anyway me out of that thing.
26:47 We wanted you all the-- do all those things.
26:49 Did anybody wanted--
26:50 The devil we can't see anything instead of us.
26:51 Does anybody want a new car for like a buck,
26:54 have this one.
26:55 You know, its like we do want to do those things.
26:57 We want to get revenge for and we want to get better
26:59 and this is not fair and all of the things
27:01 that the devil would say is
27:03 I could totally take both of you down
27:04 if you chose to do that.
27:05 Right.
27:06 And God is saying please, please, please.
27:08 Yeah.
27:09 And this is what God said,
27:11 you will not necessarily be lost
27:14 and separated from Me if you divorce Rene.
27:19 But Rene would be lost and thousand of others,
27:24 thousands of others who when you are reconcile
27:29 and you share you testimony
27:31 will enter into belief and you will be saved.
27:36 So He really gave you, He really gave you
27:39 something to look at and believe in.
27:42 Yes.
27:43 This is what-- my plan is to bring you there.
27:46 Yes.
27:47 My plan is to not only restore
27:49 but bring restoration to lives around you.
27:52 By the mind usually Cheri, all that is conversations
27:55 in the mind between God and you
27:58 based on the word and you know he is authentic
28:01 and yet darkness will comeback and say,
28:05 you created it.
28:06 He is liar. Why?
28:08 No, you are lock-- key is locked--
28:11 yes you are correct.
28:12 You are correct totally.
28:14 But so I ask God you give me something in the word of God.
28:17 In your word Lord, that will tell me
28:20 that You are able to change human will.
28:26 I love you. All right, let's go.
28:28 Let's go.
28:29 So here is my Bible Cheri, here it is,
28:33 it says Ezekiel Chapter 36
28:35 and there is a verse in chapter--
28:37 in verse 26 that says, you read it.
28:39 No, I don't have my glasses you read it.
28:40 Okay.
28:41 But I would love those glasses are beautiful.
28:43 "A new heart also will I give you,
28:45 and a new spirit will I put within you
28:47 and I will take away the stony heart
28:50 out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh."
28:54 And I said, okay, Lord, I know that one since
28:57 I was a kid this is what I ask you for me now what?
29:01 And He says, read it in context.
29:03 So I go up to verse 20 and says,
29:07 "And when they entered unto the heathen,
29:09 whither they went, they profaned my holy name,"
29:12 you continue and says, adulterous generation.
29:17 He says you husband is an adulator
29:20 not adulatory only with a woman
29:22 he is adulatory with a foreign spirit
29:25 opposite to My spirit.
29:28 So the adulators of the woman
29:30 is a within context of this major adultery.
29:34 And so here is God saying,
29:37 to these generation of adulators
29:39 which includes me, includes my husband,
29:41 you, every human being
29:43 I'm gonna cleanse you from all your filthiness
29:46 and I'm gonna give you a new heart,
29:48 which means His heart and a new spirit
29:51 which means His spirit
29:53 and I'm gonna restore it unto you
29:55 everything that the lockers,
29:56 that's a word for Satan with a power of darkness
29:59 has taken from you.
30:01 Everything that your drugs, your adulatory, your lying,
30:04 your manipulation all of that stuff has brought you and--
30:07 He is gonna take it that filthiness
30:10 and then he says and I'm gonna make you like a Garden of Eden.
30:14 I'm gonna restore everything inside of you.
30:17 Everything that is pure and lovely and kind
30:20 and healthy and restful and peaceful
30:23 and faith in our relationship with me
30:25 I'm gonna give you everything with Me instead of you.
30:29 And then He says something marvelous.
30:31 He says then you will repent.
30:34 And I go what do you mean, Lord?
30:35 And He says, don't you realize that your husband
30:38 without having My spirit inside
30:40 he can admit that he is doing wrong
30:43 but he cannot be truly repentant.
30:46 My husband for years didn't have a tear
30:48 about what was happening to me.
30:51 I deserved it, it was all my fault
30:54 and he had a hard heart.
30:56 Right.
30:57 And so repentance I understood at that moment
31:01 was not something that I could demand or expect
31:04 but I would be foolish to even expect that
31:06 he one night would come in and say, oh, I'm so sorry.
31:10 No, it would not happen. Until--
31:13 Till God said, even like us right now
31:15 when we are far away from God we don't even understand
31:18 how we are hurting each other and God.
31:19 Until we draw closer we're not gonna get it.
31:22 And then we see it and we see it
31:24 and this were the relation at that who were we.
31:26 I thought I was so good.
31:28 I thought I knew how to love Rene.
31:30 No, I had the same problem as he did
31:33 but took different path that's all.
31:37 And so I kept on reading and reading
31:39 and then I found out verse here that says,
31:41 for these shall the house of Israel ask me
31:46 and I will do it.
31:48 And I say what do you mean?
31:49 All this that you just read is the prophecy
31:53 and its a promise and if you ask me I will do it.
31:57 And I say, who is the house of Israel
31:59 that follow after my heart?
32:02 Those that want me, that's the house of Israel.
32:05 And so you have the right to ask me and I will do it.
32:09 All of this you can see it its full of tears,
32:13 they have dates of different situations
32:15 but then He said--
32:17 I wish that we could fully-- Share more.
32:20 Yeah, because you know, what you can sense that
32:22 that you spent a lot of time on this page.
32:25 And one of things that the Lord asked me one day
32:29 in which I was having what it's called
32:31 a mystical encounter.
32:33 One to one alone with God.
32:41 The father, took over
32:45 and He says today
32:47 I have come to offer to you
32:54 whatever I'm ask me.
32:58 I said, give for Rene and I will give it.
33:03 But as that day Rene is sleeping around,
33:08 he is not repenting it
33:10 and all of that kind of stuff and it's really tough
33:12 and I have to ask you as a woman
33:14 because you are asking God to put love in my heart for him
33:20 when he is not even accepting or receiving at all.
33:24 And do you know what that meant?
33:27 I had to ask for love to get out
33:29 because I couldn't get up.
33:30 I was so depressed.
33:32 That's like, you're get out of bed.
33:34 So sleep deprived.
33:36 Its strength as an act of love
33:38 to get dress and to comb my hair.
33:42 The spirit of love and joy took it from my husband
33:48 and God said--
33:50 You know, I would-- there is a part of me that would,
33:51 that wants to say--
33:53 You're rebellious.
33:54 Shoot me but you know, but then there is--
33:57 but I know you guys and I know that
33:59 that God just so are you doing that.
34:02 I mean, you were honored and Rene was honored
34:04 and your family was honored by you doing that.
34:07 It is so precious.
34:09 I remember one time Rene came he was leaving out of the house
34:13 and one night he comes late and I had asked not to do that
34:16 because I would wake up and couldn't fall back asleep
34:19 and he can't see me he is watching TV
34:22 and then I says get up go.
34:25 Don't have strength.
34:27 He says, ask me I will be your strength.
34:30 And I was like a bit low literally.
34:33 And now get dress and comb your hair
34:37 because you cannot be present yourself in front of Rene
34:40 with your hair standing up,
34:43 I mean, your pair of pajamas and all that.
34:46 You have to look decent, okay.
34:48 I remember that he sold a bus saving your husband
34:52 and he has enough confusion he said
34:54 that if he see you looking ugly that's enough to reject you.
34:59 So I get ready, I go to the kitchen
35:01 and he is watching TV in his big chair with the controls
35:06 and his face is mean and dark and ugly.
35:09 And I just go there and say, hi, sweetheart, and no answer.
35:14 And I get a cup of water and I'm drinking water
35:17 and all of sudden he shouts Alvy, I'm hungry.
35:20 Give me something to eat.
35:23 And something came out from me that said inside my head,
35:28 go to hell you jerk.
35:30 Yeah.
35:32 And the Holy Spirit-- this is the beauty about
35:34 when we are in dwell and God begins to take over.
35:38 The Holy Spirit says no, Alvy, not that way.
35:42 The beautiful thing is that at that moment
35:45 the spirit prayed in me.
35:47 This humble prayer Lord, what do you want me to do?
35:52 I want to tell you Cheri,
35:54 that this prayer is not human its divine
35:57 because with what do you want me to do?
36:00 Kind of a possession a bowing down before the Lord,
36:04 allowing Him to take over and He says,
36:08 ask him what he wants to eat.
36:12 No.
36:14 So all this war goes inside of me
36:18 and God takes over and he is not me
36:22 He is God that takes over and says, my love,
36:25 what would you like to eat?
36:29 And his response is I don't care,
36:31 do whatever you want to.
36:33 The voice, he says that.
36:36 He is no respectful to you.
36:38 Tell him to go to Taco Bell.
36:40 Tell him that he can go and fix
36:42 but you-- woman have dignity.
36:45 And when that power of darkness
36:49 speaks that way inside of the divine temple
36:52 everything changes inside of us.
36:55 The divine says surrender and he is willing
36:59 and all of a sudden, woman have dignity
37:01 and I have this hardness of heart and I went to say--
37:04 You have no right to speak to me like this.
37:06 Right. You come home this way and I--
37:08 And again the spirit says Alvy, not that way.
37:11 And do you want me to do, Lord?
37:13 And He says, listen, you please him.
37:17 You cook what he likes.
37:19 Besides that when I ask you to please your husband
37:24 I indwell in you and I'm willing to humble myself
37:28 and be the cook.
37:30 You shared the temple.
37:32 I indwell you, you and I and I and you we cook.
37:36 And that was such a joy immediately.
37:39 An understanding that this is what
37:40 God wanted me to learn all along
37:43 little by little, moment by moment.
37:47 So in joy you serve him?
37:49 Yeah.
37:51 You know, you know, Alvy, what I wanted to say--
37:53 And that's not me.
37:55 I know its not you but its what we are asking
37:57 as Christians as children of God is
38:02 what we are asking God is
38:03 how do You take us from this adulterous generation
38:07 and literally help us to respectfully serve one another?
38:11 And so now you are now doing that and I know--
38:15 I'm not doing and God is doing.
38:17 He is calling to me this is kindergarten.
38:19 Yeah. Okay.
38:20 And it is so amazing to be coach by God himself
38:25 but not only coach He says I'll take over
38:28 and I'll do it in you and you and I
38:31 that in Jesus and our little girl
38:34 and we are one and we are in this wonderful thing.
38:37 And I know He is in me because of the joy,
38:40 the way I open the cupboards, take the pans
38:43 and they are cooking and not sliming
38:45 anything I'm not looking like with fire to my husband
38:48 watching TV, nothing tenderness.
38:50 There is a purpose a divine purpose.
38:53 God indwelling in me to bless
38:56 so somebody else can be indwelled by God.
38:58 I wish that I didn't have to lose
39:01 one moment of this journey
39:03 but I know the time constrains that we have here.
39:05 So can you take us to the point
39:07 where you knew he was starting to respond to that
39:10 that God was doing the battle, winning the battle,
39:14 reconciling not only you but this man of God to himself.
39:18 What did that look like?
39:20 That was that moment. That was that moment.
39:23 All along God had told me don't worry about
39:26 who Rene is, you jut be faithful
39:29 because what it is now is not what is gonna be
39:31 if you are faithful.
39:33 What is not is not what is going to be
39:35 so don't cry over this.
39:37 Have faith, have belief.
39:39 I gave you the promises and after Ezekiel 37
39:43 comes the value of the dry bones.
39:45 Prophecy the spirit over your husband
39:48 and he is gonna resurrect.
39:50 He is gonna be on your man, he is gonna--
39:52 and you know, what he is gonna be
39:54 when your husband loves you like I love.
39:57 And so be ready for that.
39:58 For people that don't know that story about the dry bones
40:00 explain that story
40:01 because it is what God took you to
40:04 was a place that is just crazy call.
40:07 Well, but it would take time so I'll--
40:10 I don't care how much time.
40:11 It gives some time because somebody doesn't know
40:13 that story they are not gonna get what you said.
40:15 It's a vision of prophet,
40:17 its vision of our value full of dry bones.
40:20 And the question comes from God
40:22 can all these dead man walking or dead--
40:26 I don't know, can they walk?
40:28 Can they come alive?
40:29 Can they be filled with My spirit?
40:32 And the prophet says, yes. He says well, prophesize.
40:35 So the guy prophesized
40:37 and the bones start coming together.
40:39 And then muscle and sinew and things are put together
40:43 and God said that's how what I'm doing inside of Rene.
40:46 You don't see it
40:47 but I'm brining things together in him.
40:49 These dry bones, these-- this hopeless situation
40:54 I'm speaking life.
40:55 Right.
40:56 And then He said he is going get better
40:58 but still Rene will have to come to the point
41:02 that He is soaking into My spirit.
41:04 Keep on prophesizing the Holy Spirit on him.
41:07 And you can only do that
41:10 and that prayer will be answered
41:12 and the prophesy will be answered
41:13 if you are filled with My spirit.
41:15 You're cannot have any neither this is that.
41:17 And He saw me because that very night
41:20 as I'm taking this beautiful tray
41:22 with the food to my husband
41:24 I find interference between the dark and the light.
41:29 Well, just I have to say
41:30 because I've been in your kitchen.
41:31 You're a great cook and when you say beautiful tray
41:35 you say all of that kind of stuff.
41:36 You're gift is so love and nurture on that way.
41:39 So you loved and nurtured him with this food.
41:43 That wasn't done by me. I know.
41:46 But I'm just saying it's your heart.
41:48 The story is longer but anyhow
41:50 here I'm getting up with this tray
41:52 because God says we are going to take this to Rene
41:56 and I take it up in the strength of the Lord
41:59 something happens
42:00 and there is a interference of darkness,
42:03 a power and everything that is light and joy
42:07 and love is gone and my wet noodle
42:10 about to fall and press out.
42:12 That's how I really feel.
42:16 And I say Lord, what is happening
42:20 and He says the evil one hates you with a passion
42:25 because every step of the way
42:27 as you have a challenge they are getting now,
42:29 the dressing, the cooking, whatever it is
42:32 you let My spirit take over and there is nothing more
42:37 that he hates more than that.
42:39 So but fear not I'm with you and the light came up
42:44 and I took the tray to my husband.
42:46 He ate some, didn't say thank you,
42:49 walk away, didn't say good night
42:52 and through that window of the kitchen I saw him
42:55 it was just like something was killing him.
43:00 He was running away from the house.
43:02 And I look at that and he was like
43:04 a sword in my chest.
43:07 And I say Lord, I cannot take it anymore.
43:10 I was crumbling
43:11 and there is where have this mystical encounter
43:14 with my father.
43:15 He says, I know you cannot take it anymore
43:19 but I'm here with you to give you strength
43:22 and tonight to honor your faithfulness
43:25 I have come to offer you
43:27 whatever I'm you can ask me and I'll give it to Rene.
43:32 And I said, Lord, I don't know what to ask you.
43:34 This is such a mess so much
43:38 where do you begin years of counseling would not do it.
43:44 And he said, do you believe he speaks?
43:48 I do.
43:51 Not audibly but He is so clear
43:54 that He is not from the kingdom of darkness
43:56 but from the kingdom of light.
43:58 He said, Alvy, as Me for a spirit of compassion
44:03 because this man has a heart of stone.
44:09 And so I went to my room and lay down on the carpet
44:12 and there was so many times I cried and bang
44:15 and whatever I was pressing God
44:17 and saying I thank you Lord, I thank you
44:20 because you are giving
44:21 the spirit of compassion to my husband.
44:23 You see the dry bones receiving a new spirit.
44:26 And I seen my minor vision of angels descending
44:30 and blowing the spirit of compassion
44:32 and at that moment the phone rings.
44:37 Yes.
44:39 Silence.
44:41 And then Rene speaks and he says,
44:44 I know, I have been so mean to you.
44:47 That was an under statement, to you for so long
44:51 tonight I went home
44:53 and you sent me the food and all of that.
44:56 I didn't say thank you, good night.
44:59 And I don't know what happened
45:01 but when I left all of a sudden
45:06 I felt such a deep compassion for you, yes!
45:11 For the first time. Yeah.
45:15 This man had no compassion for me.
45:17 I deserve it and he would make it
45:19 as miserable as possible.
45:21 We do now hate to do this. We're gonna take a break.
45:23 I want when I come back
45:25 I want to introduce you to Rene
45:27 and briefly show you this couple that is so in love.
45:31 Just ridiculously in love
45:33 because God was faithful and she was faithful to God.
45:38 We'll be right back stay with us.


Revised 2014-12-17