Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Alvy Quispe
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000115B
|
00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior. 00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:06 may be too candid for younger children. 00:13 Welcome back. 00:14 You know, it's really interesting as I travel, 00:19 I get to meet families that are just incredible 00:23 in the way they stand up, 00:24 in the way they love each other. 00:26 And when I say that a lot of times 00:28 somebody will say, you know, 00:30 here they probably haven't gone through 00:31 what I've gone through. 00:33 You know, not true. 00:35 I don't know if I've met a family 00:37 that doesn't have something that they are dealing with. 00:39 And so you know we're talking today 00:41 about belief and holding on 00:44 and you know how it changes us 00:47 and brings healing into our life 00:48 and I can understand that there is a God 00:50 bigger than all my stuff that is on top of things. 00:54 That He's got His hand on me. 00:56 And so I want to introduce you to a friend of mine, 00:58 Alvy Quispe. 01:00 And you're from California. That's right. 01:02 You're from California originally? 01:04 No, from Uruguay, South America. 01:06 Okay. 01:07 You've been here for how long? California for how long? 01:09 Oh, since 1990. 01:11 Okay. Yes. 01:13 When I talked to you about-- you heard me talking about 01:15 belief and Abby the little girl 01:17 and the importance of holding on. 01:22 You know, how do you relate to that? 01:24 I relate to that in a different way for the fact 01:26 that I was raised in a Christian home 01:29 where I was nurtured faith and belief. 01:34 And I learned to trust God 01:37 and yet God was so far away somewhere in the sky 01:41 and I was this little girl down as here 01:44 and I didn't know who Christ is. 01:45 I was the youngest in the family. 01:47 And my sisters were so beautiful 01:49 and so appreciated 01:52 and then I had a brother before me and he was adore 01:56 and I was just little last one 01:58 and I didn't know where to fit. 02:00 And so I went to sleep almost every night 02:04 because I didn't know where to fit in the family and with God. 02:09 Was I good enough, perfect enough? 02:11 And I-- Pretty enough. 02:13 I was pretty enough. Oh, man. 02:18 I was most chubby and you know, anyhow. 02:22 I didn't have the nice voice that my sisters have. 02:25 And I was that but I pressed on to the Bible 02:28 and I started reading the Bible very young. 02:30 And I read the Bible every year 02:32 and I would have prayed and ask God. 02:34 Please Lord, where are You? 02:37 And where do thoughts come from? 02:39 Why do I feel that I'm stupid and dump? 02:42 Why do I feel that I hate You? 02:44 Well, how do-- why do I feel like 02:46 I want to kick my brother? 02:48 And I did it. But I wanted to relate Jesus. 02:52 So what a confusion between faith 02:55 who God is, needn't to be like Jesus, not being like Him. 02:59 And being afraid that I would be lost. 03:03 And even when you say that for this little girl, 03:06 you know, you couldn't have had any concept 03:10 of how the frustration or the sadness 03:13 or the disconnect related to your behavioral activity. 03:17 I mean, no concept at all. 03:18 And so you know, to me I'm wanting to halt her 03:22 and I'm wanting to say amen. 03:24 Yeah. 03:25 And I have the Bible and the Bible 03:26 just says this is all about light. 03:27 I mean, light in darkness. Yeah. 03:30 And not getting how to get through things 03:34 and then I grew up and since like I was growing up, 03:37 my problems became bigger. 03:39 I became ill. 03:40 They would tell me that it was only in my mind 03:42 that I was crazy and I was literally dying. 03:45 I say, went through academy. 03:47 I, high school and then I took nurses training 03:51 just to find out what I had. 03:53 Because you knew it was something real. 03:55 Yeah. This is-- I'm sick. 03:57 Really? Yeah. Yeah. 03:59 And I thought I had cancer. 04:01 In the last year they discovered what I had 04:04 and they did surgery. 04:06 And they took the tumor out. It was malignant. 04:10 But the trauma of being go crazy, 04:15 all the teenage years and even up to 21, 04:19 nobody takes care of that. 04:21 So you, you shrink more into the little girl 04:27 that is lost thought my body is growing 04:29 and I'm supposed to be mature and okay. 04:31 And I'm hanging on to God but I'm-- 04:35 And functional because you said 04:36 I went to nursing training. 04:38 So you literally going through education 04:41 doing all that kind of stuff. 04:42 And so if somebody was on the outside 04:44 looking at your life, it was progressing like it should. 04:47 Yes. And now it's like ugh! 04:49 It looked good-- 04:50 You know, and you just-- 04:51 sometimes I want to scream at that 04:53 because I want to-- we kind of walk by each other 04:56 and have no idea the stuff that we have in our hearts 05:01 and the things that are eating at us. 05:02 Yes. 05:03 I mean, if we did we would be holding each other 05:07 and smiling at each other 05:08 and slowing down with each other a little bit. 05:11 I wish there was like a kindergarten 05:13 quilt these things can be explained to everybody. 05:16 Correct. 05:18 Anyhow and I'm in the last year of nursing 05:21 when I met this adorable man. 05:24 Oh, man, I was so in love with him. 05:27 I had to be caught him with my eyes 05:29 and my heart for a whole year before he knew I existed. 05:32 Oh. 05:33 And then he met me 05:35 and I'm coming out of this problem 05:36 with a surgery and all that. 05:38 And he looks at me Cheri, and he tell me, 05:41 oh, you're so precious and I love you 05:44 and I'm gonna take care of you. 05:46 And he listened to me and held my hands. 05:50 And your whole heart just healed. 05:52 I could-- I could sense even the healing as you speak. 05:56 It was so beautiful. It was so beautiful. 05:59 It is the little thing he even decided-- 06:01 he was in the university next to the hospital 06:03 where I was taking the nurses training. 06:05 Rules that didn't allow to cross in and all of that 06:09 and he decided to have an appendectomy in the hospital 06:12 just to be closer to me. 06:13 Okay. 06:15 That's a little odd but really romantic. 06:18 Oh, yes, very romantic. 06:20 You should have saved that little, 06:21 little piece of his body in a jar. 06:23 Wouldn't he love that? All right. 06:27 And so we got married, okay. 06:31 And after we got married he was like the guy, 06:35 he was teaching, he was studying, 06:37 his friends, and things began to change. 06:42 He was beautiful but became resentful 06:47 and detach and withdraw 06:50 and I'm going what is happening? 06:51 Right. 06:53 Years went by, we came to the United States 06:56 and we pastor. 06:58 Did you have children? 07:00 So-- yes, we had two beautiful children. 07:03 And so Cynthia and Edgar 07:06 and here we're pastoring churches 07:07 but this guy is getting more angry with me 07:10 and very upset and beating on me for more stuff. 07:14 And telling me that not even God could change me 07:19 and that there was no hope for me 07:22 and all that I had learned in the Bible 07:25 that is so beautiful about God loving me 07:28 and giving me hope, that there is hope for me. 07:31 It was like my ministry was taken it away from me 07:34 and I began to shrink. 07:37 Again. 07:38 Emotionally, mentally, spiritually. 07:42 At first I thought it I became like a tigress. 07:47 No, like Job. No, it's not true. 07:49 I'm good. 07:50 There is something good about me. 07:51 Look at yourself. 07:53 And no, he was a pastor. 07:55 He was educated besides that he was getting our PhD 07:59 and family and marriage counseling. 08:01 He knew everything. I didn't know anything. 08:05 So a lot of emotional abuse, mental abuse-- 08:12 And we're talking about even belief. 08:15 So the belief that you had has a little girl is the one-- 08:18 Was disappearing. 08:20 And now I'm literally-- 08:22 It was disappearing 08:24 because when someone abuses somebody 08:29 and steals from you what God is giving you, 08:32 you begin to doubt yourself. 08:35 Something begins to disappear and I began to disintegrate. 08:39 I began to enter into suicidal depression. 08:42 And it was like demons were shouting at me. 08:45 You're no good. You're good for nothing. 08:47 You're junk and even God, 08:51 all this that you're in is a lie. 08:53 And I would read and cry and the devil would take it. 08:57 And so demons would shout on me in my head. 09:01 Right. 09:02 Curse God and kill yourself. 09:06 Just about that-- 09:07 When you say, Alvy, when you say 09:10 demons and I hate to even approach this topic 09:12 because people get really freaked out about that. 09:15 But you know literally we have an enemy that says, 09:18 I am His relentless, he's relentless. 09:21 And when you shout out even the Word of God 09:26 when it's so important I think at that time 09:29 to just really kind of hold on what you know 09:32 about the truth and what God is saying. 09:34 There's a time when we slide into the darkness 09:37 and we like, oh, that truth 09:38 and just start to believe the lies. 09:40 Yeah. 09:42 And that is that power of darkness 09:44 that is all around us. 09:46 And if anybody has a problem with believing in this forces 09:51 and demonic force, we should not be freaked out. 09:54 We should accept that there is a reality 09:58 but there is a greater reality in the light and in truth 10:02 and in faith that God can deliver us from this. 10:05 And so there is that constant conflict 10:08 over every human being. 10:10 Why where you there where you were? 10:12 Because somebody took you there 10:14 and didn't want you to come out from there. 10:17 And so the issue of believe in faith 10:19 is what this dark power is trying to take away from us 10:24 though it was given to us even as children. 10:27 Amen, so at this point in your life 10:30 that darkness is starting to-- tell them all around you. 10:37 But I discovered something in the Word of God 10:40 in John 14 versus-- 10:44 "Let not your heart be in trouble." 10:47 I'm going to prepare a place for you but I'm coming back. 10:51 But later on He says, the Father is in Me. 10:55 God the Father is in Jesus and Jesus is in the Father 11:00 and they said and we will come and abiding you. 11:03 And it just blew me 11:04 because I had read that so many times. 11:07 But God now was in large and He did making it 11:09 so full of light and said, we, papa God. 11:14 Jesus your Savior, through the Holy Spirit 11:17 are coming to dwell in you, 11:19 to restore what it was lost one day. 11:22 Amen. 11:24 And I grasped that. Hold on to that. 11:26 And I had cling to-- that's belief in truth 11:30 the truth that I did not understand before. 11:34 For me until then God is there, Jesus is there, 11:37 everything happens far away. 11:40 All of a sudden heaven comes down 11:43 and He sat inside of me. 11:46 So-- and this next question 11:49 because I somewhat know the answer. 11:52 Is did everything get better because of that? 11:55 No. 11:57 One day I come home and I had been just 12:02 doing a mediation, a situation 12:05 where a pastor had been unfaithful 12:08 and dealing with the other part that had been affected 12:13 and there was cover up and I was mad, 12:17 I was actually-- We cannot do this, 12:19 we need to have people to deal with honesty 12:22 with their issues. 12:23 And I faced my husband and I said, 12:25 if you ever dare to be unfaithful to me that's it. 12:31 The Bible says that adultery, that's it. 12:35 Yeah. We have a reason to split. 12:38 So I may not split because of 12:40 what is going on in the house though, 12:41 the abuse was so terrible but the adultery will do it. 12:46 And at that moment God spoke to me. 12:49 If you believe that God speaks in your mind, 12:52 in your thoughts and makes this so evidence, 12:56 so clear, the light enters and explains things 12:59 and He said, Alvy, you're asking Me 13:02 to fill you with myself. 13:06 You have no concept of what it is to love 13:11 the way I loved. 13:12 Oh, I knew you're gonna say that because that's huge. 13:14 Where God says is, this is gonna be tough. 13:16 This is gonna get darker before it get better 13:19 and I'm asking you to love him like I love you. 13:22 And I-- you know, even as you're saying that, 13:24 you know, what I want to say? 13:26 Don't say it because that's so-- 13:29 how do we do that as human beings? 13:34 When he said do you really want Me? 13:40 This is whole thing that divides 13:43 the issue of believe and faith 13:44 and God and human beings. 13:46 Do you really want Me? 13:50 And I said, yes. Yeah. 13:53 I said you're going to go through things 13:58 and then I knew, 14:00 you're going someday to experience things 14:04 that you will not like. 14:07 But you need to go through that to learn how I love, 14:13 how I forgive, how I'm merciful. 14:16 How I'm kind. Do you want that? 14:19 And I said, Lord, I bow down. 14:22 I want you. I want you. 14:24 I want you. 14:25 And so now things didn't get better, 14:27 they got worse now. 14:30 The abuse-- You know, now. 14:31 Alvy, I've just have to say for a lot of us. 14:33 You know, we come into our Christianity. 14:35 When we come into a walk in we have this sense that, 14:38 okay, I'm gonna do that 14:40 and all it's gonna be a piece of cake. 14:42 And I think that we don't realize it. 14:44 God is trying to take-- we're so twisted 14:48 and we believe so many lies and He says, 14:50 to get you out from underneath all of that, 14:53 it's gonna be painful but I will be faithful 14:57 but you have to trust Me now. 14:59 It's gonna feel really dark. 15:00 And what you are saying to Him is okay, 15:03 I may not know anything right now 15:06 but I will hold on to your hand. 15:08 That's right. 15:09 Yeah, I believe that the God of my fathers, 15:14 of my ancestors, the God of Abraham, 15:19 the God of Jacob was gonna walk with me 15:22 and He was going to fulfill the promise 15:25 of the dwelling God. 15:28 They are taking over that where I surrender 15:32 and He is in me and not I anymore. 15:36 And it is-- I have to stay right now-- 15:39 You know, that there is women and men 15:41 that are in abusive relationships, 15:43 that are probably crying as they are hearing you right now. 15:46 Because you can say it in a way 15:49 that it sounds incredible right now 15:51 but that was the most painful time in your life. 15:54 Does your own sanity was being questioned 15:57 and your stepping in knowing that its gonna get worse. 16:00 Yes. Man. 16:02 And the beauty of all of this-- 16:09 we are in ministry right, 16:10 and it gets worse than sometimes, 16:12 I mean, probably giving seminars with my husband. 16:15 Having stand there looking beautiful. 16:16 Yes, because you show up you don't say a word 16:19 and I have a black eye so they ask 16:23 what's wrong with you. 16:24 What happened? Oh, I just ran into a door. 16:29 And you just keep on smiling and keep on 16:31 and you don't give it any thing. 16:33 You don't talk. 16:35 Where does the pastor's wife goes to talk about 16:39 what is happening with a pastor that is respected and adore 16:43 and he is going all over in different parts of the world 16:48 and what he said many times if the wife opens the mouth 16:56 and says something, says most likely you are the servant 17:00 because the person that is so wonderful. 17:02 Of course, you provoke him. You must have told something. 17:05 Yeah, you provoke him. It's your fault. 17:08 And that was the worst next step 17:12 I began to believe that it was all my fault. 17:16 And I trust so hard 17:18 but there was nothing that I could do. 17:20 Because it wasn't you. 17:21 And escalated and escalated and so-- 17:25 You know, and you do hear so many stories 17:28 where all the sudden the woman will make everything perfect 17:32 and the house perfect and everything clean 17:35 and dress right in, the act right and whatever 17:38 and teen se got abuse and they try to look out 17:40 what did I forget 17:41 because I must have forgot something. 17:43 So the pressure on trying to do right 17:48 so I don't get abused, the pressure is off the chart. 17:53 And so-- 17:54 And the pressure maybe the worse 17:57 is what is happening to the children. 17:59 Because they just are in the background. 18:01 When a man can go both ways because women abused to, 18:06 okay. 18:07 So when a man abuses a woman the children are being abused 18:13 and they don't have the skills to-- 18:15 if I didn't have the skills to process my emotions 18:17 with anybody children don't either. 18:22 They just covered in all that adrenaline 18:24 begins to work in their little brains 18:26 and do a lot of ugly stuff. 18:29 Even because the devil is very strategic 18:31 and when he gets into the life of a child 18:33 during that situation 18:35 but there is a recent study that I saw that 18:37 said that a lot of same sex relations 18:42 or homosexual relationships are chosen, 18:45 that lifestyle is chosen 18:47 because they are repulse by their parents 18:50 real sexual relationship. 18:51 I was so repulse by how a man treats a woman 18:54 or woman treats a man that I don't want that 18:56 and they step into a whole lifestyle 18:59 because of that. 19:00 So we really do affect our children. 19:02 Whether it's with anger, with drugs, 19:04 with sexual orientation, 19:05 all of that stuff is gonna come in. 19:07 And I love you son. 19:10 Him and I've gotten to work together. 19:12 He is an incredible man of God. 19:14 Yes, please. 19:15 My both children are precious. 19:17 He was and I haven't met your daughter yet 19:18 but you know, he was affected. 19:20 Yes, both offensively affected. 19:22 Okay, if we move forward, at first the children were 19:30 very upset with dad 19:33 and my daughter specially wanted 19:35 that I would divorce 19:36 and protect them from all of this 19:43 and but then as they grew up 19:46 and that became more openly rebellious 19:51 to lifestyle and other things. 19:55 Children begin to side with dad, against mom. 19:59 Yeah. And it was held at home. 20:05 I could hardly open my mouth to say anything 20:08 that I was told to be quiet. 20:10 If I didn't like it I could leave 20:12 and he could from anybody. 20:14 I could not ask for favors or anything 20:17 and so I asked God in my brokenness, 20:20 in my darkness, in my imperfection 20:23 because I was not perfect. 20:25 Many times I scream and I shouted, 20:29 I did in cars I did in-- 20:31 but I screamed this is not fair. 20:33 You're wrong. 20:34 And God would say go now and apologize 20:37 because that is not My spirit. 20:38 You didn't scream. 20:41 And I was like look at them. 20:44 I'm so not gonna apologize with them. 20:47 And no God, 20:50 but that was not me and you want the fullness of Me 20:53 so you go and apologize. 20:55 Oh, just get out of here. 20:56 You know, you always apologize 20:58 but you'll never make it, you'll never change. 21:02 Okay. 21:03 And so I'm having these, these all in the house. 21:09 And one day my husband comes, he is precious. 21:14 You know him, he looks like an angel. 21:16 He does. 21:18 And so he sits down next to me on the bed. 21:23 You would never guess any of that looking at him 21:26 and looking at you guys when you're out of the house. 21:29 You-- nobody would have ever guess anything. 21:31 All our family thought we were the perfect couple. 21:34 We were admiring in the churches 21:36 and we were admired by the family. 21:39 And so I knew something was very wrong. 21:42 I realized I questioned my husband, 21:45 he was being unfaithful 21:47 and here start the years of lying 21:50 and covering up and blaming and justifying. 21:54 So he was being unfaithful? He was being unfaithful. 21:56 But it's a question of doubt again. 21:58 Yes. 21:59 And I remember the day he sit down 22:01 on the bed by my side 22:04 and he said, I have come to believe 22:10 that probably I never left you. 22:14 Because I could have never done this, you know, 22:21 but he has not admitted that I just don't think 22:23 I love you anymore. 22:28 So he never admitted it to me for years. 22:31 I had evidence, letters, phone calls, 22:36 I even when discovered the phones 22:39 called this precious lady 22:42 and said you know, I lied. 22:47 She said I'm a friend of Dr. Quispe 22:52 and I know you are hurting him so much and his family. 22:55 Why don't you back off? Please. 23:03 But who is to blame. 23:05 So, over phone, oh, no, we are just friends. 23:15 We went through this for five years 23:21 and I was told by counselors 23:26 and people within the church, leaders 23:29 I'll be divorced. 23:31 Yeah, just leave him. 23:32 Bible says you can leave him. Yeah. 23:36 And I had to ask God. 23:41 Many times that we cry and lay down on the carpet 23:45 and pound on the carpet sometimes 23:47 I would be driving, crying in the car 23:50 and banging the steering wheel Lord, I cannot take it anymore. 23:54 And He would always tell me, I know. 23:57 I know you cannot take it anymore 24:00 but I'll give you strength. 24:03 You know, what I love when you say that 24:06 because you said God, kind of just letting you know, 24:09 you know, I've done that with you guys forever. 24:12 I mean, children of Israel, 24:13 I mean, now when He talk about Hosea and Gomer. 24:17 You know, I've watched you chase after lovers 24:19 or addictions that have never worked 24:21 and God himself says I scream. 24:24 Because it pains Me so much 24:26 to watch you so self destructive. 24:28 But I can't stop chasing you. 24:30 And He is telling you to do that for Rene. 24:32 And he was your strength and he was my strength. 24:36 We didn't know. 24:38 He is the one that has move us 24:40 out of where we were and taken us through it 24:43 into that restoration of oneness with Him. 24:47 You're path, my path everybody's is a different path 24:50 but he is the same path back to oneness with God. 24:53 So during this time you are holding on him. 24:56 I'm holding on and here comes until to divorce him 25:01 because God does not work against a human-- 25:05 the human beings will. 25:09 So if my husband Rene doesn't have a will to change 25:16 God will not work against that 25:19 and when they told that repeatedly 25:24 God would become like-- 25:25 the spirit of God would become set inside of me. 25:28 And will say when I come back to earth 25:30 will I find faith 25:32 that I can't change the will of human beings. 25:35 Do I find faith anywhere? 25:37 Anywhere. Anywhere. 25:39 And so especially, you know, pastor 25:41 and here comes the shock of it God says, 25:45 I rather sell My soul to the devil 25:47 than love a woman like you. 25:50 I read that would be lost and I asked God Lord, 25:54 where is my husband. 25:55 He says, he is lost. 25:57 Because he untie himself for me. 26:02 And I stay there and say what do I do with that? 26:05 He says this is not about your marriage, 26:08 this is about the salvation of a human being 26:10 in which you are intertwined. 26:13 Okay, so what do You want me to do? 26:15 I just want to read because this is about your soul 26:17 and I love him. 26:19 Yes. 26:20 And He says-- I said to Him would you gain me. 26:25 But as a woman I can't imagine-- 26:27 I can't even imagine because I-- 26:30 I can't even imagine that I don't know 26:31 how the Lord did it. 26:33 Like any other woman I wanted to say run, run, 26:36 but God is saying no. 26:37 Yeah. 26:39 I was so three years-- that he stuff out of the house, 26:42 locked the doors. 26:43 So it. Yeah, glad. 26:46 Anyway me out of that thing. 26:47 We wanted you all the-- do all those things. 26:49 Did anybody wanted-- 26:50 The devil we can't see anything instead of us. 26:51 Does anybody want a new car for like a buck, 26:54 have this one. 26:55 You know, its like we do want to do those things. 26:57 We want to get revenge for and we want to get better 26:59 and this is not fair and all of the things 27:01 that the devil would say is 27:03 I could totally take both of you down 27:04 if you chose to do that. 27:05 Right. 27:06 And God is saying please, please, please. 27:08 Yeah. 27:09 And this is what God said, 27:11 you will not necessarily be lost 27:14 and separated from Me if you divorce Rene. 27:19 But Rene would be lost and thousand of others, 27:24 thousands of others who when you are reconcile 27:29 and you share you testimony 27:31 will enter into belief and you will be saved. 27:36 So He really gave you, He really gave you 27:39 something to look at and believe in. 27:42 Yes. 27:43 This is what-- my plan is to bring you there. 27:46 Yes. 27:47 My plan is to not only restore 27:49 but bring restoration to lives around you. 27:52 By the mind usually Cheri, all that is conversations 27:55 in the mind between God and you 27:58 based on the word and you know he is authentic 28:01 and yet darkness will comeback and say, 28:05 you created it. 28:06 He is liar. Why? 28:08 No, you are lock-- key is locked-- 28:11 yes you are correct. 28:12 You are correct totally. 28:14 But so I ask God you give me something in the word of God. 28:17 In your word Lord, that will tell me 28:20 that You are able to change human will. 28:26 I love you. All right, let's go. 28:28 Let's go. 28:29 So here is my Bible Cheri, here it is, 28:33 it says Ezekiel Chapter 36 28:35 and there is a verse in chapter-- 28:37 in verse 26 that says, you read it. 28:39 No, I don't have my glasses you read it. 28:40 Okay. 28:41 But I would love those glasses are beautiful. 28:43 "A new heart also will I give you, 28:45 and a new spirit will I put within you 28:47 and I will take away the stony heart 28:50 out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh." 28:54 And I said, okay, Lord, I know that one since 28:57 I was a kid this is what I ask you for me now what? 29:01 And He says, read it in context. 29:03 So I go up to verse 20 and says, 29:07 "And when they entered unto the heathen, 29:09 whither they went, they profaned my holy name," 29:12 you continue and says, adulterous generation. 29:17 He says you husband is an adulator 29:20 not adulatory only with a woman 29:22 he is adulatory with a foreign spirit 29:25 opposite to My spirit. 29:28 So the adulators of the woman 29:30 is a within context of this major adultery. 29:34 And so here is God saying, 29:37 to these generation of adulators 29:39 which includes me, includes my husband, 29:41 you, every human being 29:43 I'm gonna cleanse you from all your filthiness 29:46 and I'm gonna give you a new heart, 29:48 which means His heart and a new spirit 29:51 which means His spirit 29:53 and I'm gonna restore it unto you 29:55 everything that the lockers, 29:56 that's a word for Satan with a power of darkness 29:59 has taken from you. 30:01 Everything that your drugs, your adulatory, your lying, 30:04 your manipulation all of that stuff has brought you and-- 30:07 He is gonna take it that filthiness 30:10 and then he says and I'm gonna make you like a Garden of Eden. 30:14 I'm gonna restore everything inside of you. 30:17 Everything that is pure and lovely and kind 30:20 and healthy and restful and peaceful 30:23 and faith in our relationship with me 30:25 I'm gonna give you everything with Me instead of you. 30:29 And then He says something marvelous. 30:31 He says then you will repent. 30:34 And I go what do you mean, Lord? 30:35 And He says, don't you realize that your husband 30:38 without having My spirit inside 30:40 he can admit that he is doing wrong 30:43 but he cannot be truly repentant. 30:46 My husband for years didn't have a tear 30:48 about what was happening to me. 30:51 I deserved it, it was all my fault 30:54 and he had a hard heart. 30:56 Right. 30:57 And so repentance I understood at that moment 31:01 was not something that I could demand or expect 31:04 but I would be foolish to even expect that 31:06 he one night would come in and say, oh, I'm so sorry. 31:10 No, it would not happen. Until-- 31:13 Till God said, even like us right now 31:15 when we are far away from God we don't even understand 31:18 how we are hurting each other and God. 31:19 Until we draw closer we're not gonna get it. 31:22 And then we see it and we see it 31:24 and this were the relation at that who were we. 31:26 I thought I was so good. 31:28 I thought I knew how to love Rene. 31:30 No, I had the same problem as he did 31:33 but took different path that's all. 31:37 And so I kept on reading and reading 31:39 and then I found out verse here that says, 31:41 for these shall the house of Israel ask me 31:46 and I will do it. 31:48 And I say what do you mean? 31:49 All this that you just read is the prophecy 31:53 and its a promise and if you ask me I will do it. 31:57 And I say, who is the house of Israel 31:59 that follow after my heart? 32:02 Those that want me, that's the house of Israel. 32:05 And so you have the right to ask me and I will do it. 32:09 All of this you can see it its full of tears, 32:13 they have dates of different situations 32:15 but then He said-- 32:17 I wish that we could fully-- Share more. 32:20 Yeah, because you know, what you can sense that 32:22 that you spent a lot of time on this page. 32:25 And one of things that the Lord asked me one day 32:29 in which I was having what it's called 32:31 a mystical encounter. 32:33 One to one alone with God. 32:41 The father, took over 32:45 and He says today 32:47 I have come to offer to you 32:54 whatever I'm ask me. 32:58 I said, give for Rene and I will give it. 33:03 But as that day Rene is sleeping around, 33:08 he is not repenting it 33:10 and all of that kind of stuff and it's really tough 33:12 and I have to ask you as a woman 33:14 because you are asking God to put love in my heart for him 33:20 when he is not even accepting or receiving at all. 33:24 And do you know what that meant? 33:27 I had to ask for love to get out 33:29 because I couldn't get up. 33:30 I was so depressed. 33:32 That's like, you're get out of bed. 33:34 So sleep deprived. 33:36 Its strength as an act of love 33:38 to get dress and to comb my hair. 33:42 The spirit of love and joy took it from my husband 33:48 and God said-- 33:50 You know, I would-- there is a part of me that would, 33:51 that wants to say-- 33:53 You're rebellious. 33:54 Shoot me but you know, but then there is-- 33:57 but I know you guys and I know that 33:59 that God just so are you doing that. 34:02 I mean, you were honored and Rene was honored 34:04 and your family was honored by you doing that. 34:07 It is so precious. 34:09 I remember one time Rene came he was leaving out of the house 34:13 and one night he comes late and I had asked not to do that 34:16 because I would wake up and couldn't fall back asleep 34:19 and he can't see me he is watching TV 34:22 and then I says get up go. 34:25 Don't have strength. 34:27 He says, ask me I will be your strength. 34:30 And I was like a bit low literally. 34:33 And now get dress and comb your hair 34:37 because you cannot be present yourself in front of Rene 34:40 with your hair standing up, 34:43 I mean, your pair of pajamas and all that. 34:46 You have to look decent, okay. 34:48 I remember that he sold a bus saving your husband 34:52 and he has enough confusion he said 34:54 that if he see you looking ugly that's enough to reject you. 34:59 So I get ready, I go to the kitchen 35:01 and he is watching TV in his big chair with the controls 35:06 and his face is mean and dark and ugly. 35:09 And I just go there and say, hi, sweetheart, and no answer. 35:14 And I get a cup of water and I'm drinking water 35:17 and all of sudden he shouts Alvy, I'm hungry. 35:20 Give me something to eat. 35:23 And something came out from me that said inside my head, 35:28 go to hell you jerk. 35:30 Yeah. 35:32 And the Holy Spirit-- this is the beauty about 35:34 when we are in dwell and God begins to take over. 35:38 The Holy Spirit says no, Alvy, not that way. 35:42 The beautiful thing is that at that moment 35:45 the spirit prayed in me. 35:47 This humble prayer Lord, what do you want me to do? 35:52 I want to tell you Cheri, 35:54 that this prayer is not human its divine 35:57 because with what do you want me to do? 36:00 Kind of a possession a bowing down before the Lord, 36:04 allowing Him to take over and He says, 36:08 ask him what he wants to eat. 36:12 No. 36:14 So all this war goes inside of me 36:18 and God takes over and he is not me 36:22 He is God that takes over and says, my love, 36:25 what would you like to eat? 36:29 And his response is I don't care, 36:31 do whatever you want to. 36:33 The voice, he says that. 36:36 He is no respectful to you. 36:38 Tell him to go to Taco Bell. 36:40 Tell him that he can go and fix 36:42 but you-- woman have dignity. 36:45 And when that power of darkness 36:49 speaks that way inside of the divine temple 36:52 everything changes inside of us. 36:55 The divine says surrender and he is willing 36:59 and all of a sudden, woman have dignity 37:01 and I have this hardness of heart and I went to say-- 37:04 You have no right to speak to me like this. 37:06 Right. You come home this way and I-- 37:08 And again the spirit says Alvy, not that way. 37:11 And do you want me to do, Lord? 37:13 And He says, listen, you please him. 37:17 You cook what he likes. 37:19 Besides that when I ask you to please your husband 37:24 I indwell in you and I'm willing to humble myself 37:28 and be the cook. 37:30 You shared the temple. 37:32 I indwell you, you and I and I and you we cook. 37:36 And that was such a joy immediately. 37:39 An understanding that this is what 37:40 God wanted me to learn all along 37:43 little by little, moment by moment. 37:47 So in joy you serve him? 37:49 Yeah. 37:51 You know, you know, Alvy, what I wanted to say-- 37:53 And that's not me. 37:55 I know its not you but its what we are asking 37:57 as Christians as children of God is 38:02 what we are asking God is 38:03 how do You take us from this adulterous generation 38:07 and literally help us to respectfully serve one another? 38:11 And so now you are now doing that and I know-- 38:15 I'm not doing and God is doing. 38:17 He is calling to me this is kindergarten. 38:19 Yeah. Okay. 38:20 And it is so amazing to be coach by God himself 38:25 but not only coach He says I'll take over 38:28 and I'll do it in you and you and I 38:31 that in Jesus and our little girl 38:34 and we are one and we are in this wonderful thing. 38:37 And I know He is in me because of the joy, 38:40 the way I open the cupboards, take the pans 38:43 and they are cooking and not sliming 38:45 anything I'm not looking like with fire to my husband 38:48 watching TV, nothing tenderness. 38:50 There is a purpose a divine purpose. 38:53 God indwelling in me to bless 38:56 so somebody else can be indwelled by God. 38:58 I wish that I didn't have to lose 39:01 one moment of this journey 39:03 but I know the time constrains that we have here. 39:05 So can you take us to the point 39:07 where you knew he was starting to respond to that 39:10 that God was doing the battle, winning the battle, 39:14 reconciling not only you but this man of God to himself. 39:18 What did that look like? 39:20 That was that moment. That was that moment. 39:23 All along God had told me don't worry about 39:26 who Rene is, you jut be faithful 39:29 because what it is now is not what is gonna be 39:31 if you are faithful. 39:33 What is not is not what is going to be 39:35 so don't cry over this. 39:37 Have faith, have belief. 39:39 I gave you the promises and after Ezekiel 37 39:43 comes the value of the dry bones. 39:45 Prophecy the spirit over your husband 39:48 and he is gonna resurrect. 39:50 He is gonna be on your man, he is gonna-- 39:52 and you know, what he is gonna be 39:54 when your husband loves you like I love. 39:57 And so be ready for that. 39:58 For people that don't know that story about the dry bones 40:00 explain that story 40:01 because it is what God took you to 40:04 was a place that is just crazy call. 40:07 Well, but it would take time so I'll-- 40:10 I don't care how much time. 40:11 It gives some time because somebody doesn't know 40:13 that story they are not gonna get what you said. 40:15 It's a vision of prophet, 40:17 its vision of our value full of dry bones. 40:20 And the question comes from God 40:22 can all these dead man walking or dead-- 40:26 I don't know, can they walk? 40:28 Can they come alive? 40:29 Can they be filled with My spirit? 40:32 And the prophet says, yes. He says well, prophesize. 40:35 So the guy prophesized 40:37 and the bones start coming together. 40:39 And then muscle and sinew and things are put together 40:43 and God said that's how what I'm doing inside of Rene. 40:46 You don't see it 40:47 but I'm brining things together in him. 40:49 These dry bones, these-- this hopeless situation 40:54 I'm speaking life. 40:55 Right. 40:56 And then He said he is going get better 40:58 but still Rene will have to come to the point 41:02 that He is soaking into My spirit. 41:04 Keep on prophesizing the Holy Spirit on him. 41:07 And you can only do that 41:10 and that prayer will be answered 41:12 and the prophesy will be answered 41:13 if you are filled with My spirit. 41:15 You're cannot have any neither this is that. 41:17 And He saw me because that very night 41:20 as I'm taking this beautiful tray 41:22 with the food to my husband 41:24 I find interference between the dark and the light. 41:29 Well, just I have to say 41:30 because I've been in your kitchen. 41:31 You're a great cook and when you say beautiful tray 41:35 you say all of that kind of stuff. 41:36 You're gift is so love and nurture on that way. 41:39 So you loved and nurtured him with this food. 41:43 That wasn't done by me. I know. 41:46 But I'm just saying it's your heart. 41:48 The story is longer but anyhow 41:50 here I'm getting up with this tray 41:52 because God says we are going to take this to Rene 41:56 and I take it up in the strength of the Lord 41:59 something happens 42:00 and there is a interference of darkness, 42:03 a power and everything that is light and joy 42:07 and love is gone and my wet noodle 42:10 about to fall and press out. 42:12 That's how I really feel. 42:16 And I say Lord, what is happening 42:20 and He says the evil one hates you with a passion 42:25 because every step of the way 42:27 as you have a challenge they are getting now, 42:29 the dressing, the cooking, whatever it is 42:32 you let My spirit take over and there is nothing more 42:37 that he hates more than that. 42:39 So but fear not I'm with you and the light came up 42:44 and I took the tray to my husband. 42:46 He ate some, didn't say thank you, 42:49 walk away, didn't say good night 42:52 and through that window of the kitchen I saw him 42:55 it was just like something was killing him. 43:00 He was running away from the house. 43:02 And I look at that and he was like 43:04 a sword in my chest. 43:07 And I say Lord, I cannot take it anymore. 43:10 I was crumbling 43:11 and there is where have this mystical encounter 43:14 with my father. 43:15 He says, I know you cannot take it anymore 43:19 but I'm here with you to give you strength 43:22 and tonight to honor your faithfulness 43:25 I have come to offer you 43:27 whatever I'm you can ask me and I'll give it to Rene. 43:32 And I said, Lord, I don't know what to ask you. 43:34 This is such a mess so much 43:38 where do you begin years of counseling would not do it. 43:44 And he said, do you believe he speaks? 43:48 I do. 43:51 Not audibly but He is so clear 43:54 that He is not from the kingdom of darkness 43:56 but from the kingdom of light. 43:58 He said, Alvy, as Me for a spirit of compassion 44:03 because this man has a heart of stone. 44:09 And so I went to my room and lay down on the carpet 44:12 and there was so many times I cried and bang 44:15 and whatever I was pressing God 44:17 and saying I thank you Lord, I thank you 44:20 because you are giving 44:21 the spirit of compassion to my husband. 44:23 You see the dry bones receiving a new spirit. 44:26 And I seen my minor vision of angels descending 44:30 and blowing the spirit of compassion 44:32 and at that moment the phone rings. 44:37 Yes. 44:39 Silence. 44:41 And then Rene speaks and he says, 44:44 I know, I have been so mean to you. 44:47 That was an under statement, to you for so long 44:51 tonight I went home 44:53 and you sent me the food and all of that. 44:56 I didn't say thank you, good night. 44:59 And I don't know what happened 45:01 but when I left all of a sudden 45:06 I felt such a deep compassion for you, yes! 45:11 For the first time. Yeah. 45:15 This man had no compassion for me. 45:17 I deserve it and he would make it 45:19 as miserable as possible. 45:21 We do now hate to do this. We're gonna take a break. 45:23 I want when I come back 45:25 I want to introduce you to Rene 45:27 and briefly show you this couple that is so in love. 45:31 Just ridiculously in love 45:33 because God was faithful and she was faithful to God. 45:38 We'll be right back stay with us. |
Revised 2014-12-17