Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Bob McKain
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000114A
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior. 00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:06 may be too candid for younger children. 00:11 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery. 00:13 My name is Cheri. 00:14 Have you ever been so plague by road rage 00:17 that you just want to rip someone's head off? 00:20 Our guest is like that. 00:21 You got to join us, it's an incredible story. 00:51 Welcome. 00:52 You know all the season 00:53 we're using the acronym celebrations, 00:56 talking about not only health message physically 00:59 but the health message with belief 01:00 and environment and exercise 01:02 and all that kind of stuff and the reason we're doing 01:04 that is I initially try to get healthy 01:07 just trying to do with my head. 01:09 And my head is not detached from my body or my environment 01:12 so we gonna do all of that. 01:14 And today we are looking at E in celebrations, 01:17 the second E and that's environment. 01:19 And when we talk about environment 01:20 we talk about it as if environment 01:22 is just a stuff around us, like I got just got back 01:25 from British Columbia Hope Camp meeting. 01:27 If you want to see something beautiful, 01:29 you should go there, it is lovely. 01:32 There are lakes and hills and the people are beautiful, 01:36 but the environment just-- just, 01:38 it just will rock you, it's so beautiful. 01:40 And so, I took walks and went outside and to breath 01:45 and all that kind of stuff and was just blessed 01:47 but then how about the emotional environment, 01:49 because sometimes we kind of separate those out 01:51 when we think of environment-- 01:52 when we think of just what's outside. 01:54 But the emotional environment I want to tell you a story. 01:57 And the story is I have a friend that invited me over 02:01 and I'm gonna change her name totally 02:03 because, you know, it's just a bizarre story. 02:05 But I'm gonna call her Shelley. 02:06 So Shelley invites me over, 02:08 she lives in a different country. 02:09 I just met her 02:10 because she watched Celebrating Life in Recovery. 02:12 She was trying to kill herself, it was a big deal. 02:15 And she says, you know, come over 02:17 and so I end up going over 02:20 and it's-- I am with her kids and I'm hanging out of place 02:25 and all the sudden her kids start acting up 02:27 and I mean these are feral kids 02:30 and I don't know if anybody knows 02:31 what that means by feral, totally out of control, 02:35 sticking things in the microwaves 02:36 that have metal on it, 02:37 there's smoke coming out of the microwave, 02:39 things are all over, I mean it was just so bizarre. 02:42 One of our kids took a bagged shredded cheese 02:44 and cut the top of them off 02:45 and flung it all over the place, 02:47 I mean it was just crazy. 02:48 And the whole time my friend who now is my friend, 02:52 the girl that I met is looking at me 02:54 and she is talking and she's not-- 02:56 I mean she is looking straight at me 02:58 and she's just talking on and on and on 03:00 and I'm so glad you're here 03:02 and, you know, I've been blessed 03:04 and her kids are screaming on both sides. 03:06 And I'm thinking, you know, 03:07 the kids are screaming on both sides. 03:09 They're trying to get her attention, 03:10 they grabbing her face; 03:11 they're trying to turn her face towards her, 03:13 she's got her eyes faced at me 03:14 and her face facing them and still talking, you know 03:18 and I'm just thinking this is crazy 03:19 so I excused myself and I went into the bedroom. 03:22 In this house there was no door knobs. 03:26 I'm not sure why that was 03:27 but my room did not have door knobs 03:29 so the kids just busted in the room, 03:31 I'm trying to-- I could have hid under the bed. 03:34 I just wanted to escape, it was so crazy. 03:37 And so I just pretended I was dead. 03:39 You know 'cause these are little kids, 03:40 you know, so I'm thinking 03:41 I'll just pretend I'm asleep or dead 03:43 and I'm an addict in recovery. 03:45 I can out pretend you. You know what I mean? 03:47 So I'm laying on the bed, they're jumping over me, 03:50 literally jumping over me running around the bed. 03:52 Jumping over me, running around the bed. 03:53 Jumping over me, running around the bed. 03:54 They finally got tired of that and they left. 03:57 And then I go back out 03:58 and she is still doing that kind of, 04:02 you know, Cheri, 04:03 I'd like you to pray for me and pray for ministry 04:06 and pray for this and I'm thinking 04:08 I want to pray for you as a mother 04:09 you know, because man, I was like kid, I was, 04:13 you know, I felt like my whole life 04:15 I was trying to get someone's attention my whole life. 04:17 I was trying to get someone to see me. 04:19 My whole life I was trying to get someone 04:21 just to say man, what do you need, 04:24 you know, and so I'm watching these kids 04:26 and my heart is breaking 04:27 not only for them but for myself. 04:29 And finally I just thought, you know, 04:30 I had to be honest with her and I said, you know, 04:33 I can't pray for you for ministry 04:35 but I will pray that you will be a mother 04:37 and that you will stop disassociating, 04:38 you'll be able to see your kids 04:40 and then for-- at one moment that was really weird 04:43 because I thought she was just gonna cut my throat 04:45 'cause she was just so, I, you know, I thought, 04:47 you know, she's just gonna be angry and hurt 04:49 and I mean you don't talk about someone's kids 04:51 and how they parent and stuff. 04:53 And so I thought all that kind of stuff is gonna happen 04:55 but what happened instead is she started crying 04:58 and she said okay, talked about her mom 05:00 and her mom's disassociation and the fact that 05:03 as a child her mom didn't see her 05:04 and it was just this incredible healing time 05:07 and we prayed and you know 05:09 we prayed for the kids and we prayed for her. 05:11 And then I went to get ready for the day 05:12 because I was speaking and I've got ready 05:14 and I just felt like the God said to me, 05:17 Cheri, that's exactly how your mom was 05:19 for she had five kids, not three. 05:21 And she couldn't give you guys anything; 05:23 she didn't have it to give it. 05:24 She didn't have a lot of support. 05:26 And I remember for the first time in my life 05:29 just seeing my mom in a whole different way 05:31 and my heart broke for her. 05:33 I wanted to call her and say I'm so sorry 05:35 'cause I had no idea what it must have been like 05:39 to live in that kind of chaos and just survive. 05:41 And when I did get home, 05:43 I did call my mom and I say-- you know saying, 05:46 would you please forgive me because I didn't know. 05:48 My whole life I've told all these stories, 05:50 all of these abusive. 05:52 It was really sad, I mean to not be loved 05:54 and not be bonded with my mom, 05:55 all that kind of stuff was really sad, 05:57 but I never understood that she didn't have it. 06:00 And she didn't have it to give and once I understood 06:03 that even my stories feet different. 06:06 When I asked her to forgive me and she did you know. 06:09 I-- you know I really believe 06:10 that God showed me even at one point 06:12 that every time I needed her from the time 06:14 I was one, two, three years old every time I needed her 06:18 and ran after her to get something 06:19 and she couldn't give it to me. 06:21 She felt shame, anger, depression. 06:24 She would drew further into herself 06:27 and I didn't know. 06:28 I mean I didn't know and I just want to say 06:30 some times in your emotional environment, 06:33 you can stay with the same stories, 06:34 you can stay with the same reality of your past 06:37 but as you heal, 06:39 you are literally going to start seeing things, 06:42 maybe in a different way 06:44 and your emotional environment will change. 06:46 And as it changes, let it change. 06:49 You know it's gonna change how you view things. 06:51 It's gonna change how you tell stories. 06:53 It's gonna change the compassion 06:55 you have for the people that even have wounded you 06:58 because that's what healing is about. 07:00 And so we gonna talk about environment. 07:02 I want to introduce to you to someone that came in 07:06 and in a business sense completely changed 07:10 our environment at True Step Ministries 07:13 and he now is an executive director of operations 07:16 and he's an incredible guy. 07:18 And it was really funny when someone said man, 07:21 you should, you should look at hiring Bob. 07:24 I know that you need someone and when they said 07:26 that, I think we had about 20 bucks in the bank 07:28 so, if you have any money please send it to us. 07:31 But anyways we just didn't have any money 07:33 and I'm thinking how do you hire someone 07:34 when you don't have any money 07:35 but I was walking down the hallway of church 07:37 and I looked up and I saw Bob. 07:39 And I said, hey Bob, 07:41 you know someone said you should hire me. 07:42 Well, Bob was out of work. 07:43 He's like well, you know, let me pray about it. 07:46 You know, and so you know we did hire him and he came in 07:50 and really changed our environment 07:53 at True Step Ministries. 07:55 And I want to bring him back on the next segment 07:58 to introduce him to you. 08:00 Let you see how he did that and then hear his journey 08:03 because it's incredible. 08:05 We'll be right back, stay with us. |
Revised 2014-12-17