Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Bob McKain
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000114A
00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior.
00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:06 may be too candid for younger children.
00:11 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery.
00:13 My name is Cheri.
00:14 Have you ever been so plague by road rage
00:17 that you just want to rip someone's head off?
00:20 Our guest is like that.
00:21 You got to join us, it's an incredible story.
00:52 You know all the season
00:53 we're using the acronym celebrations,
00:56 talking about not only health message physically
00:59 but the health message with belief
01:00 and environment and exercise
01:02 and all that kind of stuff and the reason we're doing
01:04 that is I initially try to get healthy
01:07 just trying to do with my head.
01:09 And my head is not detached from my body or my environment
01:12 so we gonna do all of that.
01:14 And today we are looking at E in celebrations,
01:17 the second E and that's environment.
01:19 And when we talk about environment
01:20 we talk about it as if environment
01:22 is just a stuff around us, like I got just got back
01:25 from British Columbia Hope Camp meeting.
01:27 If you want to see something beautiful,
01:29 you should go there, it is lovely.
01:32 There are lakes and hills and the people are beautiful,
01:36 but the environment just-- just,
01:38 it just will rock you, it's so beautiful.
01:40 And so, I took walks and went outside and to breath
01:45 and all that kind of stuff and was just blessed
01:47 but then how about the emotional environment,
01:49 because sometimes we kind of separate those out
01:51 when we think of environment--
01:52 when we think of just what's outside.
01:54 But the emotional environment I want to tell you a story.
01:57 And the story is I have a friend that invited me over
02:01 and I'm gonna change her name totally
02:03 because, you know, it's just a bizarre story.
02:05 But I'm gonna call her Shelley.
02:06 So Shelley invites me over,
02:08 she lives in a different country.
02:09 I just met her
02:10 because she watched Celebrating Life in Recovery.
02:12 She was trying to kill herself, it was a big deal.
02:15 And she says, you know, come over
02:17 and so I end up going over
02:20 and it's-- I am with her kids and I'm hanging out of place
02:25 and all the sudden her kids start acting up
02:27 and I mean these are feral kids
02:30 and I don't know if anybody knows
02:31 what that means by feral, totally out of control,
02:35 sticking things in the microwaves
02:36 that have metal on it,
02:37 there's smoke coming out of the microwave,
02:39 things are all over, I mean it was just so bizarre.
02:42 One of our kids took a bagged shredded cheese
02:44 and cut the top of them off
02:45 and flung it all over the place,
02:47 I mean it was just crazy.
02:48 And the whole time my friend who now is my friend,
02:52 the girl that I met is looking at me
02:54 and she is talking and she's not--
02:56 I mean she is looking straight at me
02:58 and she's just talking on and on and on
03:00 and I'm so glad you're here
03:02 and, you know, I've been blessed
03:04 and her kids are screaming on both sides.
03:06 And I'm thinking, you know,
03:07 the kids are screaming on both sides.
03:09 They're trying to get her attention,
03:10 they grabbing her face;
03:11 they're trying to turn her face towards her,
03:13 she's got her eyes faced at me
03:14 and her face facing them and still talking, you know
03:18 and I'm just thinking this is crazy
03:19 so I excused myself and I went into the bedroom.
03:22 In this house there was no door knobs.
03:26 I'm not sure why that was
03:27 but my room did not have door knobs
03:29 so the kids just busted in the room,
03:31 I'm trying to-- I could have hid under the bed.
03:34 I just wanted to escape, it was so crazy.
03:37 And so I just pretended I was dead.
03:39 You know 'cause these are little kids,
03:40 you know, so I'm thinking
03:41 I'll just pretend I'm asleep or dead
03:43 and I'm an addict in recovery.
03:45 I can out pretend you. You know what I mean?
03:47 So I'm laying on the bed, they're jumping over me,
03:50 literally jumping over me running around the bed.
03:52 Jumping over me, running around the bed.
03:53 Jumping over me, running around the bed.
03:54 They finally got tired of that and they left.
03:57 And then I go back out
03:58 and she is still doing that kind of,
04:02 you know, Cheri,
04:03 I'd like you to pray for me and pray for ministry
04:06 and pray for this and I'm thinking
04:08 I want to pray for you as a mother
04:09 you know, because man, I was like kid, I was,
04:13 you know, I felt like my whole life
04:15 I was trying to get someone's attention my whole life.
04:17 I was trying to get someone to see me.
04:19 My whole life I was trying to get someone
04:21 just to say man, what do you need,
04:24 you know, and so I'm watching these kids
04:26 and my heart is breaking
04:27 not only for them but for myself.
04:29 And finally I just thought, you know,
04:30 I had to be honest with her and I said, you know,
04:33 I can't pray for you for ministry
04:35 but I will pray that you will be a mother
04:37 and that you will stop disassociating,
04:38 you'll be able to see your kids
04:40 and then for-- at one moment that was really weird
04:43 because I thought she was just gonna cut my throat
04:45 'cause she was just so, I, you know, I thought,
04:47 you know, she's just gonna be angry and hurt
04:49 and I mean you don't talk about someone's kids
04:51 and how they parent and stuff.
04:53 And so I thought all that kind of stuff is gonna happen
04:55 but what happened instead is she started crying
04:58 and she said okay, talked about her mom
05:00 and her mom's disassociation and the fact that
05:03 as a child her mom didn't see her
05:04 and it was just this incredible healing time
05:07 and we prayed and you know
05:09 we prayed for the kids and we prayed for her.
05:11 And then I went to get ready for the day
05:12 because I was speaking and I've got ready
05:14 and I just felt like the God said to me,
05:17 Cheri, that's exactly how your mom was
05:19 for she had five kids, not three.
05:21 And she couldn't give you guys anything;
05:23 she didn't have it to give it.
05:24 She didn't have a lot of support.
05:26 And I remember for the first time in my life
05:29 just seeing my mom in a whole different way
05:31 and my heart broke for her.
05:33 I wanted to call her and say I'm so sorry
05:35 'cause I had no idea what it must have been like
05:39 to live in that kind of chaos and just survive.
05:41 And when I did get home,
05:43 I did call my mom and I say-- you know saying,
05:46 would you please forgive me because I didn't know.
05:48 My whole life I've told all these stories,
05:50 all of these abusive.
05:52 It was really sad, I mean to not be loved
05:54 and not be bonded with my mom,
05:55 all that kind of stuff was really sad,
05:57 but I never understood that she didn't have it.
06:00 And she didn't have it to give and once I understood
06:03 that even my stories feet different.
06:06 When I asked her to forgive me and she did you know.
06:09 I-- you know I really believe
06:10 that God showed me even at one point
06:12 that every time I needed her from the time
06:14 I was one, two, three years old every time I needed her
06:18 and ran after her to get something
06:19 and she couldn't give it to me.
06:21 She felt shame, anger, depression.
06:24 She would drew further into herself
06:27 and I didn't know.
06:28 I mean I didn't know and I just want to say
06:30 some times in your emotional environment,
06:33 you can stay with the same stories,
06:34 you can stay with the same reality of your past
06:37 but as you heal,
06:39 you are literally going to start seeing things,
06:42 maybe in a different way
06:44 and your emotional environment will change.
06:46 And as it changes, let it change.
06:49 You know it's gonna change how you view things.
06:51 It's gonna change how you tell stories.
06:53 It's gonna change the compassion
06:55 you have for the people that even have wounded you
06:58 because that's what healing is about.
07:00 And so we gonna talk about environment.
07:02 I want to introduce to you to someone that came in
07:06 and in a business sense completely changed
07:10 our environment at True Step Ministries
07:13 and he now is an executive director of operations
07:16 and he's an incredible guy.
07:18 And it was really funny when someone said man,
07:21 you should, you should look at hiring Bob.
07:24 I know that you need someone and when they said
07:26 that, I think we had about 20 bucks in the bank
07:28 so, if you have any money please send it to us.
07:31 But anyways we just didn't have any money
07:33 and I'm thinking how do you hire someone
07:34 when you don't have any money
07:35 but I was walking down the hallway of church
07:37 and I looked up and I saw Bob.
07:39 And I said, hey Bob,
07:41 you know someone said you should hire me.
07:42 Well, Bob was out of work.
07:43 He's like well, you know, let me pray about it.
07:46 You know, and so you know we did hire him and he came in
07:50 and really changed our environment
07:53 at True Step Ministries.
07:55 And I want to bring him back on the next segment
07:58 to introduce him to you.
08:00 Let you see how he did that and then hear his journey
08:03 because it's incredible.
08:05 We'll be right back, stay with us.