Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Michael Carducci Jr.
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000111A
00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior.
00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:06 may be too candid for younger children.
00:11 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery.
00:13 This episode we're gonna talk about choices
00:16 and you made some pretty twisted choices.
00:19 But if you want to hear that you got to join us.
00:21 So come join us on the café, Choices.
00:54 We're going into our ninth season,
00:56 last season we celebrate out of 100th program
00:59 and we have covered a ton of things.
01:01 We have covered-- we've had convicted sex offenders,
01:04 we've addicts, we've had prostitutes,
01:06 we've had strippers,
01:07 we've had a religious addict which was real scary to me.
01:10 But I mean, we just have covered
01:12 so many different things and people
01:14 and ways of recovery, but this season
01:16 I think it's gonna be the most important,
01:19 but its gonna be the most honest for me
01:20 and I may not even have the job at the end of it.
01:23 So I want you to know that this season,
01:27 please don't write it off,
01:28 don't think you know what we are talking about.
01:30 We're gonna talk about maintenance.
01:31 We're gonna talk about how do you stay in recovery?
01:34 How do you grab hold of your life and not let go?
01:37 How do you say no matter what I don't care
01:39 what comes against me,
01:40 I'm actually gonna choose to live
01:42 and I'm gonna have a life that I was meant to have,
01:45 and I don't care if it's a good time
01:47 that I have to go through or bad time.
01:48 I don't care if I'm stressed
01:50 or I'm just like whistling dixie
01:52 I'm gonna get through this, and I wanted to say--
01:56 last a couple of weeks ago,
01:58 I had to go in for surgery and I have cancer
02:01 people know that I have large granulocytic leukemia
02:04 and when I got diagnose, I warn like a baby.
02:06 It's like I don't want to have cancer
02:08 or this is not good, this is not okay with me.
02:11 And so I get used to it,
02:12 I start seeing the oncologist every three months,
02:14 they do bone marrow biopsies,
02:16 and they tell me I have to be healthy
02:18 even if I don't want to and I'm like wait,
02:21 I hate-- I have authority issues
02:23 I don't like people telling me what to do.
02:24 So you know I'm having a look at all that kind of stuff,
02:27 and then I have a major meltdown of crises.
02:31 And my whole intestines twist and when your intestines twist
02:37 you could die within hour's right.
02:40 So I go into hospital they untwist it,
02:42 you know and they literally don't do it surgically,
02:44 they put tubes down my throat, take pressures off and untwist.
02:47 They send me home four days later
02:49 I'm back in the hospital.
02:50 And I'm like stop, shut up, I don't even do this
02:53 well, I don't do pain well or anything.
02:56 My oncologists meet with my surgeon,
02:58 they think you know we did CT scans,
03:00 I think you have cancer in your intestines
03:04 and I'm like nope, I don't want that.
03:07 So you know they talked to me
03:09 and finally they say you know what,
03:11 we're gonna have to cut you open
03:13 take that part of your intestines out,
03:15 its like four inches or seven centimeters
03:18 and hopefully you'll end up-- with just those,
03:21 tie your intestines tied together
03:23 or you'll end up with a colostomy
03:25 and all that kind of stuff, and I'm like wait,
03:28 wait somebody stop.
03:29 I don't want that and I remember just struggling
03:32 and I have a gig in Australia,
03:34 and I'm gonna go there for a few weeks,
03:36 I'm gonna fly back, I only have three weeks
03:38 that I can have down time
03:40 so we got to get that surgery done
03:41 and I can be home and do some healing and--
03:44 so, I get back from Australia on Friday
03:46 go in for surgery on Monday.
03:47 They cut me open, they take all of my guts out,
03:50 you just got to imagine this,
03:53 because you know when I imagine this
03:54 I think no wait, to call your guts out
03:56 went to 22 feet of intestines and it couldn't find anything.
04:01 I can't find anything, I can't find the cancer,
04:04 I can't find anything, they stuff everything back in.
04:06 I'm hoping they put it all in a right place
04:08 sewed me back up.
04:10 And so now I have to look out at this point of my recovery,
04:14 I have to know that everything matters,
04:17 even what I choose to eat,
04:19 how I choose to take care of my body,
04:21 what I choose to do.
04:22 What they diagnosed me with was celiac disease,
04:24 they said you have celiac disease.
04:26 You have to not eat grain and you have to watch
04:28 what you eat and you have to watch
04:30 and take care of yourself in that way.
04:32 If you don't the next time
04:33 we come in will take out some of your intestines.
04:36 So I'm like, shut up.
04:37 So what-- this time we're gonna look at
04:39 not so much just physically
04:41 the changes that we have to make.
04:43 Like right now I have to make major changes,
04:45 because you know what, I like my intestines.
04:47 I didn't even know they were there
04:49 until this guy pulled them all out.
04:50 Now that they're out, and back in
04:52 I so have some respect for them.
04:55 There's a guy at 3ABN I lost since I had the surgery,
04:59 I went from a size 12 to a size 8,
05:03 just by not eating grains,
05:05 right cakes and breads and all that kind of stuff.
05:07 So I'm thinking I'm celebrating
05:09 and he thinks they just didn't put my intestines back in
05:12 that was the way it changed,
05:14 but you know so now I'm realizing
05:15 that everything matters.
05:16 And so now I'm gonna tell you a in a emotional sense
05:19 what I mean by everything matters.
05:21 This story is not has--
05:22 doesn't have a happy ending like mine,
05:25 because not only does my story have a happy ending
05:27 but for whatever reason as I do with this issue
05:31 that I have physically,
05:32 as I do with this issue with my intestines
05:34 and the celiac disease,
05:36 it takes the inflammation down in my body
05:38 and my oncologist says,
05:40 more than likely your cancers gonna go away.
05:43 And I'm like shut up, how fun is that.
05:46 So not only if I choose to take care of this,
05:49 not only am I not gonna have to do with losing intestines
05:52 well, I'm not gonna have to deal with cancer
05:54 and chemotherapies and all that kind of stuff.
05:56 So in an emotional sense
05:57 I want you to transfer that over,
05:59 I'm gonna give you some stuff this time,
06:01 that we're gonna look at physically, emotionally
06:04 and with your recovery issues
06:05 that if you get it you're gonna save yourself tons of stuff.
06:09 I have a recovery groups that I run,
06:12 if you're ever in our area
06:13 if you just come want to stay at our place,
06:15 people come and stay at our--
06:17 at our ranch for like a week at a time
06:18 and deal with some issues.
06:20 But anyhow we have our recovery issues
06:21 this woman this girl gets is recovery
06:24 and she is amazing.
06:25 She has a meth addiction and she has anger issues,
06:28 and she was molested as a kid, and you know everybody thought
06:32 you know, she's got all of this junk
06:34 her whole life she dealt with people
06:35 calling her fat, until she did meth.
06:38 She did meth and all of the sudden
06:39 she was so cute
06:40 and then she got all kinds of good stuff,
06:43 she couldn't stop.
06:44 So she gets in recovery and she's just dying
06:47 because now she's dealing with gaining weight again
06:49 and all that crazy stuff is coming back up.
06:52 So she ends up going to a doctor,
06:55 and the doctor says that they're willing to cut out like
06:58 three forth of her stomach
07:00 and that she'll start to lose weight again.
07:02 And I'm--, she tells me about that.
07:04 She is so excited,
07:05 they're gonna cut out my stomach,
07:07 I'm gonna be thin, I don't have to do meth
07:09 and I'm like what?
07:11 So I'm gonna convince you to cut out your stomach,
07:14 because you know why you are not doing meth,
07:16 but you're eating your brains out.
07:18 You're using food as a way to cope,
07:21 you are using food like volume,
07:22 you are losing-- using food like sex
07:25 and if you cut out your stomach
07:26 and you cant use food, you're gonna kill someone.
07:29 Do you know what I mean?
07:30 And I said that to her and I said do you know what,
07:31 this is not minor stuff.
07:33 Our addictions are huge.
07:35 When we don't deal with them in an appropriate way
07:38 by making those tiny choices when we just say,
07:41 you know what just cut it out, we're in trouble.
07:43 And I remember thinking please don't do that.
07:46 You know I-- you know, I know your struggles
07:50 and don't do that and of course,
07:53 you know that doctors said it was okay, you know.
07:55 And please I don't care who says its okay,
07:57 recovery is a little steps at a time.
08:00 You can't just jump in and get it all done at once.
08:03 If I could take a pill and be normal,
08:05 I would take that, because I'm still not normal.
08:07 You know what I mean?
08:08 So, I would so do that, so anyhow she goes in
08:10 and she gets her stomach cut out,
08:12 and she comes out within a first three weeks,
08:14 she loses like 58 pounds she is stoked,
08:17 but she can eat three ounces at a time, eat or drink.
08:22 She can't drink a full glass of water.
08:24 So she is not hydrated,
08:25 she's not getting any nutrition,
08:27 she can't cope and so she wants to put
08:29 something in her face and she can't do it.
08:32 And she gets more and more agitated.
08:34 At one point she blows up,
08:37 beats up her child, breaks her collar bone
08:40 and she's hits herself in the head and she is gone.
08:44 And I'm thinking man, I loved her,
08:48 I miss her, that's so tragic and it's tragic
08:52 because in any kind of recovery,
08:55 in any kind of journey everything matters,
08:57 all the little stuff
08:58 and we can't jump over the little stuff.
09:00 We can't do-- we can't just go somewhere else
09:03 and say you know what, I'm just gonna do this
09:05 and this is gonna be good, we can't do that.
09:07 All of these things matter and so this season,
09:10 we're gonna talk about all of those things,
09:11 we're gonna talk about it hopefully with something's
09:14 that will make you laugh,
09:18 but man, some of the things are not funny.
09:20 Losing my friend, and this girl early in her recovery,
09:25 watching this three year old now try to survive
09:29 watching her mom shoot herself is not fun.
09:32 You know, she's gonna have to grow up
09:34 and try to deal with those images
09:35 and all that kind of stuff.
09:37 But if can say to you, if I can say to the next person
09:40 we work with and the next person in recovery
09:42 is please, please, please know that these little choices
09:47 that you're gonna do everyday may not seem to be a big deal
09:50 but there are big deal.
09:51 We're gonna look at just simple things right now
09:54 and I'm gonna look at like seven things
09:55 that I want you to think about on this program.
09:58 And one of the things is get some sleep, get some sleep.
10:02 I don't know about you
10:04 but I love-- I love to be on my--
10:07 the phone to my friends or skyping them in Australia,
10:10 it's a middle of the afternoon to them.
10:12 To me it's a 2 o'clock in the morning
10:14 but man, I'll stay up and I'll hang out
10:16 and will talk or whatever.
10:17 I'll be on Facebook, I'll be researching something,
10:20 I'll be doing worship,
10:21 in the whole time God is saying,
10:23 get to bed, get to bed
10:25 because if you don't sleep you're gonna be crazy.
10:28 If you don't sleep you're gonna be tired tomorrow.
10:30 If you don't sleep you're gonna be agitated.
10:32 When your spouse or friend comes in your place,
10:35 you're not gonna be as kind as you need.
10:38 If you don't sleep and you have an out to do
10:41 one of your addictions more than likely
10:43 you're gonna lean towards those addictions.
10:45 So I'm just saying the first thing in your maintenance
10:49 is that you cannot not sleep,
10:51 you can't, it has to be part of it.
10:54 Man, if somebody that's truly a health nut
10:56 or my doctor that just have my just guts in her hand,
11:00 my husband says I spilled my guts to my surgeon.
11:03 But my doctor says don't eat between meals,
11:05 you know really start taking care of yourself
11:08 and what you put in your mouth.
11:09 If you have some food allergies,
11:11 if you're diabetic don't eat a donut.
11:13 My grandmother is diabetic, she died of her diabetes,
11:16 you know literally is just you know,
11:19 her breakfast was vodka, orange juice and a donut.
11:22 And If try to get her to eat anything else
11:24 I would hear say to people in the living room,
11:26 I never did like that, child.
11:28 You know what I mean, because that's--
11:29 you know, that was her thing.
11:30 But if you're diabetic, don't do that.
11:32 If you have problems with being hyper,
11:35 you know check out what you eat.
11:37 And don't eat all day long, eat a good breakfast,
11:42 I mean this is stupid I sound like you're mom,
11:44 I'm sorry but I'm not your mom,
11:47 I'm just trying to say that it all matters
11:49 and I promise you, it all matters.
11:52 The maintenance of your weight,
11:55 like my friend she was 100 pound overweight,
11:59 so she felt bad and she felt depressed
12:02 and she felt like all of that kind of stuff,
12:04 she felt like she wanted to do meth
12:06 to get skinny all that kind of stuff.
12:07 So start looking at our weight issues.
12:09 Start looking at all that kind of stuff.
12:11 The next one I want to look at is,
12:13 you know regular physical exercise.
12:16 Don't you hate this?
12:17 I do sound like your mom, I'm so sorry,
12:20 but get out and let the sun hit your skin.
12:22 Because you know vitamin D helps our cell tone
12:25 and serotonin levels go up in our brain
12:26 which makes us feel good, and it's a big deal.
12:29 So get outside, take a walk put your feet in the sand.
12:33 Well, they're finding out with all the stuff
12:35 that we do in staying online,
12:37 all the junk that we're doing online,
12:39 we're losing grey matter.
12:40 Our brains are shrinking because we're not using them.
12:43 We're in virtual worlds more than
12:45 that we're in a physical world.
12:46 So a part of recovery is that you have to move.
12:50 Man, I love playing golf, I like tennis,
12:52 I like skiing, I like bowling,
12:55 you know get out and find something
12:56 that you like to do that will take you physically somewhere
13:01 and I don't care what it is.
13:02 If you are overweight,
13:04 and I have friends that are extremely overweight,
13:06 they can't do a lot of physical activity.
13:08 Just move your feet in a chair.
13:11 Do you know what I'm saying?
13:12 Don't even stress yourself about
13:14 you know what I'm not doing jumping jacks,
13:15 don't do jumping jacks but just move your feet.
13:18 This is gonna-- some of my friends
13:20 will want to kick me for this next one.
13:22 Stop smoking, you know if you don't have your lungs,
13:25 you don't have anything.
13:26 And I-- I want to-- you know I don't know
13:31 if you're gonna write in
13:32 and get mad at me for saying this,
13:33 but God's not gonna walk away from you
13:35 because you have a cigarette hanging out of your face.
13:37 But He does really want your lungs to work properly
13:39 and your circulation and all that kind of stuff,
13:41 so in your maintenance part of recovery,
13:44 it matters that you're circulation is okay
13:46 and it matter that you can actually
13:49 start to get health that way.
13:50 So if you're smoking, if you're-- you know
13:52 if you can drink a bottle of tequila in one sitting,
13:55 you know check out that kind of stuff.
13:57 And stop walking away from those really unhealthy things.
14:01 So the next one, so reduce the alcohol stuff.
14:04 You know some people say absent is all together,
14:07 for me the only reason I say absent is I'm not alcoholic,
14:10 alcohol was never my issue.
14:12 But if you give a couple of glasses of wine,
14:14 I want some heroin.
14:16 So you know so I got right to what my addictions are.
14:19 If you give a sex addict a couple of glasses of wine
14:22 or help him smoke some weed
14:23 they're online on the internet
14:25 looking up some porn stuff.
14:27 So those kind of things will really trip you up.
14:30 So please don't write me if there's other issues
14:33 and you just want to talk about health some,
14:35 I'm talking about to maintain, recovery,
14:37 you have to watch those kind of things.
14:39 So these objectives, these things
14:41 that I'm looking at it just ways to help you
14:44 that are really kind of simple things,
14:47 they sound simple
14:48 but they'll make your recovery possible.
14:50 Don't look for shortcuts.
14:52 If you look for shortcuts they will kill you
14:54 because they really don't work.
14:56 Somebody will say just take this pill
14:57 and you'll lose weight,
14:58 just do this and you'll feel better,
15:00 whatever but those shortcuts will kill you.
15:03 And-- so this season we're gonna talk about
15:06 some of that kind of stuff.
15:07 The first program that we're gonna look at this program,
15:10 I'm gonna introduce you to a friend of mine,
15:11 he is so twisted.
15:12 Well, I should say he was so twisted.
15:15 But I'm gonna introduce you to a friend of mine,
15:17 we're gonna talk about his journey
15:19 and where he came from,
15:20 but we're gonna look at on this program specifically
15:23 that choice that you make everyday.
15:25 Because the choices will either lead you
15:28 to a life of recovery and happiness,
15:31 you'll laugh out loud in your own skin,
15:33 you'll actually start to be able to got hold of your life
15:37 and enjoy your life or it will lead you to death.
15:41 You'll have, you know, most of the people
15:43 in my family died of liver disease
15:45 and alcoholism and drug addictions.
15:47 My dad died molesting kids in the crack house.
15:49 So I mean, you know, all of that kind of stuff
15:51 and so it's gonna lead you one way or the other
15:53 but every choice put you on a journey.
15:56 And so be careful of the choices that you make.
15:58 Don't stress about them
15:59 but just know that it does matter
16:02 and I wish for you life, okay.
16:05 So come back, I'm gonna introduce you to a friend,
16:07 you're not gonna want to miss his story,
16:09 this is wild.