Participants: C.A. Murray (Host), Cheri Peters
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000110A
00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues
00:03 related to addictive behavior.
00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:06 may be too candid for younger children.
00:11 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery.
00:13 My name is Cheri and we're going in to our ninth season
00:15 and we talk about addiction all the time.
00:18 This season we're gonna talk about the health message.
00:20 Isn't that crazy because what do I know about how?
00:52 We are beginning our ninth season.
00:55 If you can believe that, that we've done this ninth time
00:58 whatever you see Cheri and I together
00:59 you know we are kicking of a brand new season.
01:02 Now, we need to tell, we don't script this shot,
01:04 has no rehearsal, there's no going
01:06 through lines and reading teleprompt.
01:07 We sit and talk and let the Lord lead
01:09 and talk about what's coming up in this year
01:12 and each year this show has evolved
01:14 and Cheri, I'm so very excited again
01:16 because a new evolution, a new step, some new stuff this year.
01:21 Health message kind of a new journey for you.
01:22 Why not? That is really--
01:24 So new for me and I got to tell you how that evolved.
01:26 I-- first of all the book for this season
01:29 is called Celebrations and its all about health.
01:32 And its started with that I end up going into medical crisis,
01:38 I going to hospital, they said if I didn't get to the hospital
01:41 I could have died during that all that kind of stuff.
01:43 So it was a big deal.
01:44 Then they sent me home have a crisis four days later
01:47 I'm back in the hospital same thing.
01:49 And then I'm thinking, okay what's going on?
01:51 You know, what's going on?
01:52 And so they tell me
01:53 that you've got an area they think its cancer
01:55 and your small intestine we're going have to cut it out,
01:59 you gonna have to remove some of that.
02:00 I'm like wait, wait, wait.
02:01 In the whole time, I'm hearing the Holy Spirit saying,
02:05 you know I've tried to get it you to take care of that early,
02:07 you know 'cause you know with there is
02:09 health and part of recovery is
02:11 that we look at these really serious issues
02:13 and we look at sexual addiction and drug addition
02:15 and we look at, you know the media think that
02:18 we do in recovery of just kind of taking care of the problem.
02:21 But if you gonna do long term recovery
02:25 you're gonna have to start laughing out loud.
02:27 You're gonna have to let the sun hit your skin.
02:29 You're gonna have to make sure that you eat right
02:31 and go to bed at a decent hour
02:32 and do all that kind of health stuff.
02:34 I had avoided that for a long time
02:37 because I liked to stay up late.
02:38 I don't know if I necessarily like water,
02:40 you know what I mean?
02:41 I know I don't like brown rice.
02:43 You know, it's all that kind of stuff
02:44 and I watched and I had--
02:46 can I say this I watched health nuts over the years
02:49 tell something about health
02:51 and they looked mad all the time.
02:52 You know, and they don't you know they necessarily look
02:54 these health issues, you want them to look.
02:56 And so I kind of stayed away from that
02:58 and all the sudden now I'm hit with something
03:00 that I believe God Himself says
03:03 if you're gonna honestly help people
03:05 they need to know about how to take care
03:08 of themselves in the long run.
03:10 So this season we decided to do the health message.
03:13 Celebrations is a book and I love this.
03:16 It was really well done but in our church
03:19 the Adventist churches that conference,
03:21 the General Conference and one of the teams
03:25 there is health ministries they put a book together
03:27 and I went to meet them at one point
03:30 and they didn't know who I was?
03:31 And they're like tell me, I don't know you from a bar.
03:34 So, you know, who are you? And what are you doing?
03:36 So we tried what recovery ministries
03:38 and they showed me this book and I thought oh, Celebrations.
03:42 We just wrote a program a 14 week we program
03:44 for the church on dealing with addictions called
03:47 Celebrating Life in Recovery with the tape in the that
03:50 we do here, their testimony that we do here.
03:52 And he said, you know, would you be interested in putting
03:56 that message in with your 14 week program?
03:59 And I thought if it's perfectly and so we decided
04:02 to put it in with the 14 week program.
04:04 We had some writers come in, some people come in
04:06 with photography and its slide in there really nicely
04:10 and then I thought I want to do a whole season on it
04:13 because I was so blessed by the message
04:15 and the richness of in the long run taking care of ourselves.
04:21 How do we do that? Well done. Well done.
04:23 You know, I need, as we said we don't script--
04:25 I needed just give your flowers while you can still smell them
04:28 because you know I'm a fan, you know, I'm a fan.
04:30 I was known each other for years but couple of years ago
04:32 we're in Australia together and I saw you
04:33 move in to a whole new realm
04:35 that not only are you a good host
04:38 and you do this well but I saw you stand
04:40 before a group of young people and teach.
04:42 I mean, give medical facts and give
04:44 and do a whole different kind of thing for you
04:46 and the Lord blessed you, you do that well.
04:49 It comes across very believable.
04:50 So, you can you know you can go in to the class room
04:53 and put on the mortar cap and teach or you can go out
04:58 to the street and minister for the Lord to.
05:00 So God has given you that gift. So while you take them of that.
05:01 We-- and I love that.
05:02 I love, you know, like the first time
05:05 I got into recovery and I realized that you know
05:07 I know chemistry changes with addiction
05:10 and we have a nerve called the vascular retro flexes nerve
05:13 that literally connects us to our frontal lobe
05:15 and if we are addicted we sever that
05:17 and we are not using higher reasoning to think.
05:20 And I'm thinking as a little addict
05:21 I'm like that's not good news.
05:23 You know I only smoke a pot
05:25 thinking that I'm using my frontal lobes
05:26 no you not even thinking any more,
05:28 you know, how does every thing break down.
05:30 And so I love teaching that.
05:31 But you know what I found what I learned
05:34 just over the last few years
05:36 that if we're not taking care of ourselves
05:37 in our in every single way not just addictions
05:41 and a crazy thinking in how we treat each other
05:43 and our connecting with each other and with God
05:46 if we're not doing all of the other things
05:48 as simple exercising you know,
05:51 you know how much time do you just play,
05:54 do you go out and just have fun.
05:56 And if we don't do that we're not gonna be in recovery
05:58 for very long regardless of what the addiction is.
06:01 That's what and that's what like comes on I believe.
06:04 For so many years we can focus on
06:06 what you do not do, do not smoke, do not drink.
06:08 But what about replacing that with some positives?
06:10 And you know there the stuff you got it to
06:12 along the stuff that you are not doing.
06:13 I think that's what the way you are talking about
06:15 when we go to this whole celebration thing.
06:17 You can quit stuff but then you got replace it with good stuff,
06:20 you know, if you're gonna be whole kind of a thing.
06:22 Like the first season, you'd love
06:24 like we're gonna do this role in
06:25 and the first role we're gonna do is
06:27 with people that are making choices
06:29 with what's hitting them right now.
06:31 And so we've got like this one guy Michael
06:34 is coming out of the gay culture
06:36 and all that kind of stuff.
06:37 God involved with demonic eroticism
06:40 and I mean when you even think about
06:42 that you don't want to ask what is that?
06:45 Just like do I really want to know what that means?
06:49 Oh, I'm not gonna go over, I want to go over.
06:51 But you know so he is literally sexually involved
06:54 with demons themselves
06:55 and that is all played out in his life.
06:58 And he has to make choices to come back
07:00 in to a legitimate connection with people.
07:04 We establish himself as for as just what's normal,
07:08 get out of the dark side.
07:10 And so he's making those choices.
07:12 So the prefers part of the celebrations in an acronym
07:15 is that start making good choices in your life.
07:18 Brad, my husband he's back on a program,
07:20 he's been on the program before turned out this last year
07:24 that he had Parkinson's early on to Parkinson's.
07:27 And he's also got diagnose with cancer
07:29 and so we're looking at that's a--
07:31 what is that mean?
07:32 His first response is that he wants to prove--
07:34 a drivers bike in front of a truck.
07:36 So that I can collect the insurance
07:38 so he doesn't have to do it any more.
07:40 And I'm thinking no, no, no so, you know
07:42 even it doing a choice to live and doing the next thing
07:46 and how do you take care of yourself
07:47 and you're physically being hit and then we have one of my
07:51 favorite stories, you remember tattoo Jim.
07:53 Oh, yeah.
07:54 And tattoo Jim is covered with tattoos
07:57 and piercing and all that kind of stuff.
07:59 And I tell the story we were at a pastor's house
08:02 and we're at this pastor's house
08:04 and he decides to ministry Jim.
08:06 Well, Jim is hardcore and he leans over
08:09 and he says to Jim that everybody has problems.
08:11 And Jim is like, yeah, what's your problem?
08:14 And he said for a moment he had to think,
08:16 I don't know what is my problem.
08:18 And he finally decided to be honest for Jim
08:21 and he said you know what I had a problem with--
08:23 I'm a chronic masturbator. And Jim is like oh, dude.
08:29 I didn't want to know that, I didn't want to know that.
08:32 So I want to show you some of those rollings.
08:34 It was an incredible season
08:35 but we're looking at making choices, exercising
08:38 and taking care of yourself and everywhere so enjoy this.
08:43 I so well, the night that I'm about to be baptized,
08:45 my sister said what you're gonna do about your boyfriend?
08:47 And I looked around, I got it that Jesus love me.
08:50 I got it that He accepted me exactly where it was
08:53 and I looked at my sister said I'm gay.
08:54 I was born this way. This is who I am.
08:56 I tried to change, it never happened.
08:58 I prayed that it would change.
08:59 And my sister, I believe is move
09:01 by the Holy Spirit because she stopped.
09:03 And the next day was baptized and the only verse in the Bible
09:06 that really stands out to me is that God says,
09:08 "My ways are not your ways
09:10 and my thoughts are not your thoughts."
09:11 And I believe that God allowed me to be baptized
09:13 and He began that journey with me.
09:15 He gave me what is truth was in His word
09:18 and even in my ignorant sin I said how dare you God,
09:21 you know create me gay
09:22 and then tell me I'm in abomination?
09:24 That's not fair.
09:25 You know if salvation is good for them
09:27 but not for me then that's even more rejection
09:30 and that's even in my ignorance Jesus said,
09:32 keep walking with me, Mike.
09:34 And I said kept walking with Him every time I fell
09:37 He said, get up and I would even test Him,
09:39 I would even act out, you know sexually
09:42 and just say You still want me now God,
09:44 you know after what I've done?
09:45 And when I kept hearing from Him is, yes.
09:47 What was interesting is that and yet again
09:50 since we are talking about exercise
09:51 and we talked about the bike riding
09:53 and stuff like that you know, that was something
09:54 I was doing was bike riding, riding the bikes
09:56 but it was crazy to actually been on some bike rides
10:01 and have been so deep in to the dark place
10:03 of depression and dealing with Him.
10:05 I ever going to play the trumpet again and man.
10:07 its just the Parkinson's and you know,
10:09 and this focal dystonia thing and all this stuff
10:11 where I would be riding along going okay,
10:13 there is a truck right there,
10:15 you know it would be easy enough
10:16 to just make this look like an accident,
10:17 you can collect the insurance money
10:19 and you would be better off.
10:20 I mean-- The first time--
10:21 I was too poised in my life where that was how close it was
10:26 and fortunately every time that happened it was
10:28 like man, you better pull your bike over
10:29 and check yourself right now.
10:31 You better just stop.
10:32 You better just stop right in right out
10:33 because you know you don't really intended to do that.
10:35 That's really about dying daily and Father Goyette told us
10:38 his great story recently a gathering of prayer leaders.
10:40 He said, his dad took him out one time
10:42 because he would he grew up in a communist country
10:44 and he is feeling like, you know upset
10:47 because his friends were making fun of him
10:49 because of his Christianity.
10:51 And his dad takes him out to this graveyard.
10:54 He says I want you to kick the grave
10:55 and he says no that's disrespect.
10:56 He says, no kick it.
10:57 So he kicked it and then he says
10:59 now I want to say something rude and ugly
11:01 to that the person there.
11:03 He says, well, that's disrespectful.
11:05 He says, no say. And so he's like, you stupid, you stupid.
11:08 And then his dad said, what if the person say back?
11:11 And he said, well nothing.
11:14 And he says the reason you're offended
11:15 is because you're not dead yet.
11:18 That person is an offendant,
11:20 they are dead, they don't say anything.
11:22 You get upset, you get irritated,
11:23 you lose your cool whatever because you're not dead yet.
11:26 And that's my prayers. Lord, let me die.
11:29 Well, that is so powerful and so pertinent
11:31 and so timely to what's going on in our society right now.
11:34 Incredible. Good stuff, yeah.
11:35 What's really interesting when pastor Jim, I love him,
11:38 when he said, I have him on the show
11:40 he said you're gonna tell that story, aren't you?
11:42 Well, yeah.
11:44 But you know it just like been able to even looking at
11:48 people's life's and their stories
11:50 is that Jim finally opens up
11:51 for the first time with tattoo Jim telling him
11:54 that story then he decided to open up to the church
11:57 and his wife is like saying don't do it.
12:00 And he does and his whole church starts to heal
12:02 and said really very sincere way
12:06 as with their sexual addictions
12:08 and they open up to the community.
12:10 And you've high school kids coming over talking about
12:12 how stuck they are with their own sexual sense.
12:15 And so you know he's honesty with this one biker
12:19 leads to a whole change in his church.
12:21 Yeah. It was unbelievable.
12:22 Yeah, it does takes some manning up to the sort of
12:25 throw it out there like that
12:26 but I found I think you have too
12:29 that people are pretty forgiving.
12:31 If you put it out there and say I'm trying to get better,
12:33 I'm not hiding this stuff.
12:35 They want to forgive, they want to heal,
12:36 they want to you see heal
12:37 and I know you experienced that.
12:39 As only I've experienced that but they also have seen
12:42 the fact that at the end the bottom line
12:45 is it God is in vindicated.
12:46 We are mass, you know the next person
12:50 you're gonna meet said something to the,
12:54 in fact there his wife said, she looked at me
12:56 because of where they can form such a normal background
12:58 and they you know Adventist for years,
13:00 Christians for years and all that kind of stuff.
13:02 She said, you know I thought
13:03 the blood of Christ was overkill.
13:05 You know what I mean?
13:07 You know I get impatient once in a while
13:09 and God had to die because of that.
13:10 I just didn't get it.
13:12 You know, even the facts that
13:13 we don't even break denial on our naive
13:16 and when we do there such healing that happens with that.
13:19 But when you do start to take care of yourself in everywhere
13:22 because if you're asking God to change your life
13:25 and let you stand in the end of the great controversy
13:27 and in honest way its gonna take some work
13:30 and you're gonna need to be rested.
13:32 Do you know what I mean? Did you know that's good together.
13:35 Very true. Yes, yes indeed.
13:37 You know before we go to our next segments--
13:39 I got to compliment you and not so much you about
13:42 what God has using you to do
13:43 'cause you're getting used, you know.
13:46 This whole new set of materials which I just seen the--
13:50 I saw in its formative stages but to see it now
13:53 in package stage Celebrating Life in Recovery group
13:55 and then the leadership guide and this,
13:58 this I love Skips the Christ.
13:59 Skips to Christ. Skips to Jesus. I love that.
14:01 Which I really love and even the story on the guy
14:04 who does Jesus for you in the graphics just really,
14:09 really good stuff and I notice you gonna bless so many people.
14:12 And just I'm so proud of you
14:13 what you let God do through you.
14:15 Thank you and to me I think the one thing
14:17 that I'm learning and the longer I stand up
14:20 is that there are so many people in pain.
14:23 There are so many people hurting
14:25 and when you watch them go from this place of being stuck in
14:29 and in pain and isolated and their life not working
14:32 to taking in a breath and step in out
14:35 and grabbing their life back and reconnecting
14:37 with God in each other, its so incredible.
14:39 And so it is so worth whatever we have to do
14:43 in order to say I'm gonna be a part of
14:45 that recovery in my life and someone else's life.
14:48 If this show has done something over the nine seasons
14:50 that we've taped it here
14:51 its one it shown that you can be real.
14:55 That there is a healing community
14:57 and that there is nothing to be gained by walking around
15:00 with several polyester patina that's not real.
15:03 The other person you're fooling yourself
15:04 because God knows, devil knows, you know.
15:06 So why? You know why?
15:08 Get real put on the mask and get healed.
15:10 And let the Lord in your own skin.
15:12 Yeah. Do you morph that?
15:13 You know, there is something that the devil says--
15:16 you know like-- we've covered so many things
15:19 even this season, you know sexual molest and adultery
15:23 and the next rolling you're gonna see,
15:24 you're gonna see some of that stuff.
15:26 We've covered that and the more we get into that darkness
15:28 as we would get lost and we're not laughing anymore
15:32 and we're not connected anymore and that joy is gone
15:35 and saying such you know what
15:37 don't be telling people what you're doing
15:39 because they'll never gonna talk to you again.
15:40 Yeah, just keep it in the closet
15:41 because in there along.
15:43 And its no like, no help. And been able to shame you.
15:44 Yes, yes, yes, yeah.
15:45 That this is so shameful and you know who wants to--
15:47 you know you don't want the people
15:48 that you are that guy or that woman or whatever.
15:51 And God is yelling that's a lie,
15:54 come out of hiding.
15:56 It is gonna be tougher.
15:57 Well, when you admit for the first time
16:00 that you're beating your wife for the--
16:01 you're doing prescription drugs or that may be I'm a liar,
16:05 stealer or whatever when you live
16:07 that for the first time, it is tough.
16:09 But God says you know I promise you,
16:12 you would get through this and you don't have to hide anymore.
16:15 And in my own recovery and I always
16:18 I think that this season is hard for me
16:21 because as I the longer I get in to recovery
16:24 and I circling somehow
16:26 and I start to look at things different.
16:28 I sort to make immense, I sort to forgive the people
16:30 around me is all the sudden would do
16:32 a docudrama here at 3ABN on my life story
16:35 and so we were putting that together
16:37 and we were doing the scene of my mom and my mom
16:41 where she rejected me when I was a little girl.
16:43 But as we set up the scene
16:45 I saw her life for the first time.
16:48 And I wanted to just weep, I wanted to say
16:50 that I keep looking at this tragedy in our family
16:55 as if it was only about me but I see my mom
16:58 trying to deal with five kids with her husband molesting.
17:01 Well, she was just a kid herself,
17:03 she's in this environment
17:05 and she's just trying to survive
17:06 and my heart broke.
17:08 So now I see her in a different way
17:10 and I have a hard time to even starting to say
17:12 the story about my neglect, my abuse
17:16 because I want to say but, but, but.
17:20 My mom was also abused, also neglected.
17:23 So even as you start to get into that and start to heal
17:27 and you start to look at your past
17:29 maybe in a whole different way
17:31 you have the enemy coming and start tormenting you.
17:34 But you can't say that because then they're gonna think
17:36 that you lied about this other thing.
17:38 And I'm thinking I didn't lie, I'm just seeing it different
17:40 because I've been 30 years in recovery.
17:43 I'm no longer feeling like I'm a victim,
17:45 I'm no longer feeling that kind of stuff.
17:47 In fact, I can honestly see that everybody was trash
17:51 because we have an enemy that is out to trash us.
17:54 And you only get that with some time
17:55 and with some perspective
17:57 and being able to sort a step outside
17:58 and turn around look back at it
18:00 and get the hopeless factor.
18:01 Before we go to our next set of rolls,
18:02 you got to tell me what's in that little can there
18:06 because that is so cool.
18:07 Well, you know, isn't this cool? It's so fun.
18:09 As we ended up doing the whole program
18:11 may have got leaderships guides
18:13 and participant's manuals and 20 video clips.
18:16 From Celebrating Life in Recovery
18:18 in this 14 week program for the churches
18:21 and somebody's like well,
18:22 you're gonna mail that every time.
18:24 And I thought yeah, yes we are.
18:26 And they said you should do this
18:28 and they said you should just put it on a card like this,
18:31 a USB card they could put it right in their program
18:33 in their computer and have all the programs.
18:36 You know I thought shut up that is the cool as sin.
18:40 So in this little USB card they can be mailed out
18:43 in this tin with every single thing you need.
18:45 This all of this material.
18:46 In order to run a group either in your church,
18:49 in your cell group with your husband and wife
18:52 as you're going through you crises in life
18:54 just go through with the two of you
18:56 but it's a way to have everything that you need
18:58 in order to get in to recovery
19:00 with the foundation of program of Steps to Christ,
19:03 that's just we're looking at some really
19:05 good Christian foundational stuff.
19:06 Yeah. Yeah. Is this stuff ready to go Cheri, yet?
19:10 Yes. Just ready to go. Very good.
19:12 Absolutely, just fine. Now how do we get?
19:13 For the first time.
19:15 Just go to truestep.org and order it.
19:17 I think that on 3ABN has it so you can call to here.
19:21 But it is a for the first time I always wanted
19:24 to have something that you can leave us somebody
19:26 that they can walk through recovery,
19:30 they can get it in the walk through recovery
19:32 and this is our program that will allow you to walk through
19:35 and whether you don't have to hide anymore,
19:37 you don't have to figure out what I want to do next
19:40 and also it has the health message all the way through it.
19:43 So as you're going to it what do you do
19:45 to start getting healthy, physically, mentally,
19:48 spiritually and definitely emotionally.
19:49 Praise God that you've evolved
19:51 and I use that term, well advisedly.
19:53 So but you evolved to include this health component
19:57 so that when-- as you getting clean
19:58 you're getting stronger you're getting healthier.
20:00 So necessarily. Yeah.
20:01 You won't hold on to your recovery unless you do.
20:03 And I fought it for long time but unless you get
20:06 the whole package done a program
20:08 you won't be able to hold on to.
20:10 You got to drink water and you got to rest
20:12 and you got to exercise and you got to look at
20:15 what you are feeding yourself and all that.
20:17 I'm looking to do the next roll and I love
20:19 because we're gonna start with Bob McKain.
20:20 Bob McKain, he was working for like one of the computer firms
20:25 and he had 135 employees,
20:27 now all this is a million dollar project
20:29 and they outsourced this whole department, right.
20:32 And so now he is in his 50s, he doesn't feel
20:36 that he can just go and get another gig
20:37 and so he's depressed about that
20:39 and outsourcing was a big deal and he goes to my church
20:43 and somebody said Bob needs a job.
20:45 And I'm thinking I needed an administrator
20:47 but I don't have any money to pay him.
20:50 So I pass them in the hall one right day
20:52 and I said, you know what,
20:53 I needed administrator I heard you needed a job.
20:56 And I don't have any money right now
20:57 but if you are good at what you do
20:59 you would make us some money so you can get paid.
21:02 And he comes to work for us C.A.,
21:05 and I realize that he so locked down emotionally.
21:08 So I don't know what the issue is
21:10 so I gave him Miracle from the Street,
21:12 the book about my life and stuff
21:13 and I said I want you to read this.
21:15 And he's looking at the book like oh, sweetie
21:17 you know this is my first job,
21:19 my first you know assignment and he's gonna go read it
21:22 only because I'm kind of forcing the issue.
21:25 And as he reads it, he realizes that he's been stuck in angry
21:31 since a molest happened early in his life
21:33 and he's locked down and he says for the first time
21:36 is I realize that God can heal me
21:38 and He's crazy about me and I can get through this.
21:42 And he steps in to recovery for the first time ever.
21:45 So not only do we have an administrator now
21:47 but we have one that is actually in recovery
21:50 or working to recovery issues.
21:52 And we also talking with Alvy and Rene Quispe
21:56 incredible guy working at Andrews University
21:59 but at the same time cheating on his wife, beating her,
22:03 having an affair for ten years
22:04 right in to her face kind of affair
22:06 and God is telling her love him, this is his eternal life.
22:12 Do not walk away from this man. Yeah.
22:14 And she stays with him, I couldn't even believe it.
22:17 So enjoy this it's just an amazing, amazing season.
22:22 We learned to survive, okay.
22:24 How we learned to survive and based on things
22:26 that happened to us that clinches what we it changes
22:32 what we believe and really does change how we react, okay.
22:36 And how we respond to the things
22:38 and if we never find a better way to respond,
22:41 better way to deal with those things
22:43 and we continue going on the way we learn to cope
22:46 and those things that we learned
22:49 to cope with often really hurt our--
22:52 the people closest to us because they are close to us.
22:55 And you know, and--
22:59 I just have to say I hurt my son incredibly,
23:03 you know, because of the anger
23:05 and you know you don't have to beat somebody up,
23:08 you don't have to slam people up against the wall,
23:10 you don't have to be physically violent
23:13 to completely beat somebody to a pulp.
23:16 And the beauty of all of this.
23:22 We're administrator, right.
23:24 And he gets worst and some times I mean,
23:26 probably giving seminars with my husband.
23:29 And I have-- Having withstand you are looking beautiful.
23:30 Yes, because you shut up you don't say a word.
23:33 And I have a black eyes so they ask what's wrong with you?
23:38 What happened? Oh, I just ran into door.
23:43 And you just keep on smiling and keep on
23:45 and you don't give it anything you don't talk.
23:48 Where does the pastor's wife goes to talk about
23:53 what is happening with a pastor that is respected and adore
23:57 and he is going all over
23:59 and different parts of the world.
24:02 And what he said, many times if the wife opens the mouth
24:10 and says something says most likely you're the servant.
24:13 Of course, I blame it on her again but you know,
24:17 now I realize what is inside your heart
24:20 when you act like that, that is not God,
24:23 that is not the Holy Spirit, that's Satan's the spirit is,
24:26 is anger, frustration, the spirit of darkness.
24:29 So instead of coming up and just talking about this spill
24:33 its like coming up and really been angry at her.
24:36 Yeah, I actually I remain on the floor for long time
24:40 because I was so frustrated.
24:42 And those are the things that I look back now
24:45 and realize boy, it was bad, it was bad.
24:49 Of course our children
24:51 so that the rest of the people didn't anoint
24:53 and for our it was very, very hard
24:57 to deal with all that, it was very depressive.
25:02 Imagine who is she gonna talk to about this?
25:05 Is she talk to any conference president
25:07 that could actually go and talk to him and say listen,
25:09 I got a PhD in psychology
25:11 I can explain you what's going on.
25:14 Cheri, you know, quickly on this Quispe's story
25:16 you've got two parallel lines of thought.
25:19 One, you've got the exposing of abuse and adultery,
25:25 the second equally compelling
25:27 is sticking out with a guy like that.
25:29 You know, that's a whole different talk show
25:32 that she felt the call of God on her life
25:35 to hang in there with that until she got what she wanted.
25:39 You know to me what God mean the most in her story
25:42 is one night he comes home he's been sleeping
25:44 with this woman all night.
25:46 Comes home sit down, puts the remote on
25:48 and says get me something to eat.
25:50 Yells at her from the room.
25:51 She's already in bed its 12.30 at night. Yeah.
25:54 And she wants to yell back at Him.
25:56 Oh, God this stuff but instead God says you know what
25:59 get up run a comb through your hair look nice
26:03 and go get him something to eat.
26:05 And she just says the battle with the enemy
26:08 is the battle to do that or just
26:10 to say you've no right to come into my house
26:12 and talk to me like that and all that stuff.
26:14 And she decides to get him up--
26:16 get up and get him something to eat
26:18 and he still yelling and not saying thank you or whatever
26:21 and said ten years she did this, ten years.
26:24 And when I heard her story C.A.,
26:26 it's just told me is that we're in our recovery
26:29 not fighting just for ourselves,
26:31 we're fighting for the people that we love,
26:33 we're fighting for generations of maybe
26:35 even happen before us that really got slam.
26:38 And we all walking around wounded
26:40 and am I willing as a man or woman of God
26:43 to say it's beyond just my rights.
26:46 Yeah, yeah. This is bigger than that.
26:47 That's what's so important.
26:48 That's the back story of the subtext
26:50 and its just as important
26:52 because it is about you but its not all about you.
26:56 You know, there are layers to this thing.
26:58 The person that is your correspondent in life,
27:01 your children, maybe your parents, generations down.
27:04 So your actions affect you,
27:06 they affect the persons that's affecting you,
27:08 they affect the person that they affect, they affect--
27:09 you know it just goes on and on and on and on
27:11 and so many times think it, its stops and ends
27:13 or ends and stops with me but it does not
27:16 and that's what these kind of things show.
27:18 When I was reading a book called Towards the Death
27:21 and in Towards the Death it says,
27:22 you know to heal and to get your life back
27:25 because you need to go out side and put your foot in--
27:27 feet in the grass and do the exercise
27:30 and do all that kind of stuff but also in your background,
27:32 if you had a really abusive background,
27:34 go back and find one good thing.
27:37 You know, so start to go find those gems that actually worked
27:40 and I thought I can't do well, there's no good things.
27:43 And when I started seeing them
27:45 that I just changed with everyone,
27:47 everyone it was like all the sudden
27:49 my sisters and brothers looked different,
27:51 all the sudden my grandparents looked different.
27:53 Not that they still don't have the damage.
27:55 My grandmother died-- said yelling from the living room
27:58 while I was in the kitchen, I never did like that child.
28:00 You know what I mean? Yeah.
28:02 So she never liked me before she died
28:04 but I also got to see her stuff.
28:05 And so there is so much healing when you look at that,
28:09 that because I am not responding in the same way
28:12 hopefully in my family it looks different.
28:14 Yes, you can break the cycle sure.
28:17 The cycles are broken. Sure, sure, yeah.
28:18 You turned me onto that book Towards the Death
28:19 and really great--
28:21 It's a great book, amazing, amazing book.
28:23 You know, let's go ahead and take a break
28:25 and then come back in because I want to ask you
28:26 a couple of things about the next guest.
28:29 We'll be right back, stay with us.