Celebrating Life in Recovery

Hiv With Love Behind It

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Barb Wise, Rick Wise


Series Code: CLR

Program Code: CLR000055A

00:11 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery.
00:12 I'm Cheri your host!
00:13 Have you ever done something that you can't take back?
00:15 It is done, the consequences are here.
00:18 What does God do with that?
00:19 I think that it's exciting.
00:21 Come in and join us at the Café and I think you are
00:23 going to be so blessed on this one.
00:52 We talk about self-esteem, self image and I came off of
00:58 the streets and off of all that.
00:59 I started working in a mental health hospital.
01:02 I should have been a patient, but I wasn't.
01:04 I was working there.
01:05 I start to realize that people were talking about what
01:09 you think about and what goes through your head.
01:11 So I started to do some kind of research and at the time
01:15 they were saying that you need to have affirmations and
01:19 tell yourself some cool things.
01:21 Like somebody told me, Cheri just look in the mirror
01:25 and say, I am sweet.
01:27 I thought oh, gag me, and I hate to say that because
01:30 I can't even say that because it didn't work for me.
01:33 To some people sweet may sound good to them,
01:35 it didn't sound good to me.
01:36 It sounded crazy and then I realize that every time
01:40 I said something good, I am okay, I'm beautiful,
01:45 I'm whatever, I'm a woman.
01:48 I could say something, a simple truth,
01:50 and all of a sudden
01:51 my mind would be flooded with all these negative things.
01:54 What is really funny to me is that now I know there is a
01:57 research center a UCLA.
01:59 It is stories high, fifteen stories high and the entire
02:03 research Center is studying the brain and what we tell
02:07 ourselves, the things that we let just go into our minds.
02:12 We speak every minute about 150 to 200 words a minute.
02:17 Right? I could speak that much.
02:19 I probably could speak more than that, but!
02:21 But we think about 1300 words a minute.
02:25 So most of those thoughts, I'm going to ask you,
02:28 are most of them positive or negative?
02:29 Because it is really weird, I used to ask people,
02:31 in the mental health hospital that I worked in, pretend you
02:34 have a beeper on and every time you say something about
02:37 yourself that is not good, the beeper goes off.
02:40 I say, what does your beeper sound like?
02:42 Somebody said it's nonstop, it like lit up.
02:46 I'm thinking what if you are walking through a mall,
02:48 what would it sound like?
02:50 They said, nonstop again, it just would be lit up.
02:52 So the object, when I was in mental health, was to stop
02:56 the beeper from going off, to stop the negative thinking.
02:59 I thought that we could do that on our own.
03:02 What I realized is that we need to do that with God's help.
03:05 That our self image, our self talk, or self-esteem is
03:09 also a gift from God.
03:11 I can't figure it out, because I am so tweaked,
03:13 I'm just so tweaked.
03:17 Let me introduce my guest first and then I want to tell
03:21 you a story, Barbara Wise.
03:22 Thank you so much for being on the program.
03:24 - Thank you for having me here.
03:25 When I say that about our self talk, does that make sense?
03:29 What we tell ourselves - yes it does.
03:31 I deal with the self talk all the time and I have in my
03:35 past had all those messages going on, that I didn't even
03:40 realize until you have some big events in your life that make
03:43 you aware of all the negative things you are saying and
03:46 how much that is destroying all the joy that God has for you.
03:50 - totally destroyed - it just destroys you.
03:53 Somebody says, does it make a difference?
03:55 I was in Florida one time doing a youth event, and what
03:59 you tell yourself you're whole body will respond.
04:02 I was doing a youth event and I was the first speaker in
04:05 the morning and I'm getting up around seven o'clock
04:08 even earlier because the Sun hadn't got up.
04:10 In Florida, I had not been to Florida and there was a
04:12 camp ground in Florida, so it looks like I was in a jungle.
04:16 They had these big old tropical plants and I'm thinking
04:19 how cool is it and I are walking to where I am supposed
04:22 to talk and it felt like about a half a mile away.
04:26 It probably wasn't that far but I just felt like it was
04:28 and I was walking in this jungle thing and thinking this is
04:31 cool and the sun is not up, how amazing is this and
04:34 I am having a great time.
04:35 All of a sudden a lion about five feet away just roared,
04:41 and I'm thinking I'm going to be killed.
04:44 I didn't even know they had lions in Florida.
04:46 I could feel my whole, I feel my pupils dilate,
04:50 I could feel my heart just pounding.
04:52 I knew I was going to be ripped to shreds.
04:54 I'm walking and thinking this is so crazy, and I am an
04:57 addict, so I immediately think what do I do.
05:01 Do I throw myself on the ground? No, that's a bear.
05:04 If I throw myself down on the ground with a lion it
05:06 would just drag me away so I'm not doing that.
05:09 So I'm thinking of all the stuff and the only conclusion
05:12 I could came to is that I would pretend I didn't hear that.
05:15 So I kept walking, and then it roared again and
05:21 I thinking it is right there, it couldn't of been
05:24 5 feet away from me.
05:25 Behind a tree just right there.
05:27 I'm dying, by the time I got to were the building was I
05:32 am so freaked out I want to just get into the building
05:35 so that it wouldn't eat me.
05:37 So you know that eats the speaker and the teenager show
05:40 up and your ripped up on the porch,
05:41 it would just be disgusting.
05:43 I'm trying to get in and the door is locked and I'm
05:46 thinking are you kidding me?
05:47 I'm dying, I'm dying and the door is locked.
05:51 I'm thinking these poor kids and I'm going to be killed.
05:53 My heart is just pounding when all of a sudden somebody
05:56 pulls into the driveway in the parking lot and I run
05:59 over and it's this guy Martin.
06:02 He is this incredible speaker and he had invited me,
06:06 and I said, did you hear that?
06:09 Because it had just roared again, did you hear that?
06:12 What are we going to do, you didn't tell me there was lions.
06:15 I'm talking a hundred miles an hour and he starts laughing.
06:19 I'm thinking what are you laughing at?
06:20 This is not funny, this is not funny I'm having, this is
06:23 horrible, I'm dying here and I don't want to be killed.
06:27 I didn't realize I didn't want to be killed,
06:29 but when a lion is that close you realize that.
06:31 He starts laughing and says, Cheri, the zoo is right there.
06:34 I'm thinking oh man, so the lion is just
06:39 waking up, it's in a cage.
06:41 All of a sudden my self talk changed.
06:44 But I had one moment where I thought I was going to be
06:47 killed, the next moment I knew that we are all safe
06:49 and this is silly.
06:51 But most of us go through all our lives with this talk
06:56 that is horrible, I am not worth anything, if anybody
07:00 knew, and you leave that kind of underlying thing that
07:03 you tell yourself.
07:05 We don't think it affects us,
07:06 it affects every part of who we are.
07:08 There is a point in our recovery that I have to say God,
07:11 I don't even know the lies I told myself, I don't even
07:15 know what is going on with all that kind of stuff, but
07:18 as a gift from You, please start teaching me who I am.
07:22 Not who I think I am, not who other people think I am,
07:27 but who am I?
07:28 As soon as I started doing that, and God said you are
07:33 my child, you are incredible to Me.
07:35 Everything that I delighted in you are.
07:38 I want a relationship with you.
07:41 As I started letting that soak in, I could stand up in
07:47 the holy of Holies, in the presence of God
07:49 and belong there, live there.
07:51 You have blessed me in so many different ways,
07:56 so many different ways.
07:57 As a woman of God I want to say that I am glad you are here.
08:04 I know that your Ministry is powerful.
08:06 Let us know a little bit about where you came from, and
08:09 then we are going to do something
08:10 a little bit different.
08:11 I want to then step off of the set altogether and let
08:17 you do a presentation that I have seen and was blessed by.
08:20 I would like to have you do it for us and then
08:23 I'll come back and talk about that.
08:24 But who are you? Where are you from?
08:26 My name is Barbara Wise.
08:28 I'm from Denver Colorado and I have been sharing
08:33 my personal story for the last six years.
08:35 I have spoken to hundreds of thousands of young people,
08:39 all ages all across the country, in Europe.
08:43 It is really a message of how God sees me,
08:48 how God has said who I am in Christ.
08:51 It's not always how you have seen yourself.
08:53 Not always I've seen myself in Christ, I had a different
08:57 picture and because of the picture I had of myself,
08:59 and the thoughts I believed about myself and my identity
09:04 and who I was, I acted and made choices that just
09:08 lived out what I was thinking basically.
09:11 Now that Christ has helped me to see who I am, it just
09:17 started changing my thoughts and I keep my focus on
09:20 His love, and His view of me.
09:22 I can bring a very hopeful story, even though there is
09:27 all of these things in my story that may not seem
09:29 hopeful, there is so much hope.
09:31 And what's really fun when you even say that is I know there
09:35 is different parts in the Bible that I love and one of them
09:37 is this image, I think it is Zephaniah 3:17,
09:42 where it talks about, I sing over you at night.
09:46 I'm like stop, are you kidding me, You sing over me?
09:51 My husband is a musician so I am surrounded by musicians
09:54 and vocalists, but I never thought that God being so
09:59 delighted in who we are as His children,
10:02 that He can't stand first just to go to bed.
10:04 He says I want to tuck you in and sing over you.
10:07 I want you to feel that peace and the only thing that
10:10 stops us from feeling that is our own barrage
10:14 of negative stuff.
10:16 He says let Me take that from you.
10:18 Let Me, all the lies, all the stuff that the world has
10:21 said about you, all the stuff that even in a crisis
10:24 people are saying about you, let Me take that from you
10:28 and let Me speak into your life.
10:29 We're going to go ahead and break, I want to come back
10:34 Barb, and have you do the presentation that I have seen
10:38 you do, and you do all over the world and I want you
10:42 to be blessed by it.
10:43 This is one of those stories, journeys, testimonies that
10:48 when I heard it, it changed my life.
10:52 When I met them I just thought, I want everyone else to
10:57 go away I don't want to share their time at all with anybody.
11:00 But today we are going to share with you,
11:02 so stay with us we will be right back!


Revised 2014-12-17