Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Alta Austin
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000047A
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00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life in Recovery!
00:11 I'm Cheri your host. 00:12 Have you ever felt like what you have done in your past, 00:15 what you have done in your life, that you don't even 00:17 want to bring up to God? 00:18 You know that nobody is going to accept that, 00:20 not even God Himself. 00:21 You are going to be blessed by this program because 00:24 God can heal anything, come join us! 00:53 Welcome back! 00:54 You know my first journey with God just cracked me up, 00:56 I was such a mess and I'm coming out of all that. 01:01 I'm trying to figure out how to do the right things, 01:04 say the right thing, be the right thing and I couldn't. 01:07 I just didn't get it and God was really gentle. 01:12 He would teach me, like when I was manipulating 01:16 somebody, or lying about something, and He would say, 01:18 you know what hon, how about don't lie. 01:22 I would think, oh come on! 01:24 I'm not really lying, I'm just trying to get 01:27 them to do this. 01:28 He says, that is manipulating, 01:29 how about not manipulating them? 01:31 I'm like what? 01:33 I couldn't get it, so somebody led me to the Bible which 01:39 is a good place to be led to. 01:41 It is really funny for somebody that is a mess, we don't 01:45 even know how to hold the Bible right. 01:46 If you are out there watching this, then you understand 01:49 this, it's like holding the Bible and you think this is 01:51 way too holy, do you know what I mean? 01:54 I'm way too much of a mess, so you hold it carefully. 01:57 I had a friend and I love this, this friend used to 01:59 smoke weed all the time and somebody talked him into 02:02 opening the Bible. 02:03 So he is opening up the Bible and doing this Bible 02:06 study, and he is smoking and says, "Man this is good 02:09 stuff", when all of a sudden and ash from the joint 02:12 fell and hit the Bible and burned the page. 02:15 When a book is holy He was like, 02:18 "oh! I can't believe I did that. " 02:20 I said what did you do? 02:22 He said, "well I switched to a pipe right away. " 02:24 And you know what is funny I don't want to sound like 02:28 I am somehow putting down the process, but God starts 02:33 us out when we don't even know anything. 02:35 We are not smart enough to even know that you shouldn't 02:38 do a line of Meth and study the Bible, or smoke weed 02:42 and study the Bible. 02:43 God says, you know what? open the book where-ever 02:46 you're at, what ever place you are at where you can 02:48 finally start looking at what is right. 02:50 What is not right, what is going to bring you 02:52 out of all this stuff, just open the book. 02:54 That is where I was at, so I opened the book and I'm 02:57 thinking I will go right to the Ten Commandments. 03:01 Because that is where God took me. 03:03 I'm thinking how funny is that! 03:05 Because the Ten Commandments for people who are coming 03:10 out of addiction, we just do not like authority. 03:13 I don't want somebody to tell me what to do. 03:16 God says I am not really trying to tell you what to do, 03:18 I'm trying to show you how to get victory in your life. 03:21 I just want you to stay with Me on this, because I have 03:24 a crush on God right now and I have been say that a lot 03:27 lately, but I just love the way He says, you are in 03:30 bondage to all your junk. 03:32 You are in bondage to your lies and your drugs and 03:35 addictions and you don't even know that it is twisting 03:38 around your throat. 03:39 We don't even know that until we are not breathing, 03:41 you know what I mean it is taken us down and we are 03:43 actually defining death from it and God is saying, 03:46 He wants to get that all untwisted for you. 03:48 For the first Commandment is what you guys? 03:51 Yeah, I'm the Lord your God, right? 03:57 The first one starts out I am the Lord your God who 03:59 took you out of all that stuff. 04:02 Out of heroine addiction, and sexual addiction, and 04:05 relationship addiction and all that kind of junk. 04:08 I took you out of all that stuff. 04:10 I'm the Lord your God so you know what, 04:12 don't put any other gods before Me. 04:14 I was so in love with God because He, I meet Him in 04:18 a drug house trying to kill myself, teeth missing, 04:21 illiterate and just a mess. 04:23 He put His hand on me and said, 04:26 "I love you and I will keep you safe. " 04:28 I felt that with everything in me so I thought okay 04:31 that's good, I can do that one. 04:34 The second one was not to bad either, 04:36 the second one is what? 04:37 Don't have any graven images. 04:39 Don't have any graven images and I'm thinking, 04:42 you know what I don't even have any as I'm looking 04:44 around my house, I'm thinking there's no little idols 04:46 set up, there's no Buddha's or whatever. 04:49 I don't have any of that kind of stuff so I'm okay 04:51 with that and the Holy Spirit says, 04:53 well images can be anything. 04:55 And I'm, what? 04:57 Anything and then through the Holy Spirit I saw them 05:00 everywhere, I did have some stuff to work on that one. 05:04 The third one was don't say the Lord's name in vain. 05:09 Don't lightly, and I know everybody knows what I'm 05:12 talking about when I said that so I don't have to 05:14 repeat it, in fact I would probably get fired if 05:16 I gave you some examples. 05:18 Don't say the Lord's name in vain, don't use God and 05:22 Christ to joke about. 05:24 I did that every other sentence and not even realizing 05:29 it, I would just like oh, and thinking ouch, was that one? 05:34 I've would feel like all the angels would say yes that 05:39 was one, but it was so gentle. 05:42 The fourth Commandment is the Sabbath day. 05:45 That was a cool one for me because it said every week, 05:48 put a day aside, and just hang out with Me. 05:52 I am very relational and didn't have a lot of that 05:55 growing up, so for me, for God to say I want to 05:57 hang out with you, I thought how cool are You. 06:00 I thought how are we going to hang out and He said, 06:03 you love to be outside, you love to be with friends, 06:06 so hang out with your family and hang out outside. 06:08 So that was an easy one and the next one. 06:11 I don't even want to say, I wanted to say, I can't do 06:16 the next one are you kidding me? 06:19 And the next one is what? 06:20 Jordan, Jordan: honor your father and your mother. 06:23 Cheri: honor your father and mother. 06:25 Are you kidding me? 06:27 I don't know if anybody has a father and mother that 06:30 just wasn't there for you. 06:33 My mom tried to self abort and she was a mess herself. 06:36 The more I get into healing the more I understand she 06:39 was a mess herself, but still how do you honor that. 06:42 My dad molested me most of my life and left really 06:45 early, and the other dad is a bartender 06:48 that was an alcoholic. 06:50 I'm thinking God, God what are You talking about? 06:54 That one was a tough one for me. 06:57 It was really interesting because when I got to that 06:59 one I had to say God, You are going to have to do that 07:02 for me, right, because I don't know how to do it. 07:04 I don't know what to do, I don't know what it means to 07:07 honor someone, what does it mean, honor? 07:10 I really had to pay attention, what does it mean? 07:14 God was so cool, He even said, for a while can you 07:18 picture your mom as a little tiny girl? 07:19 I did I pictured her as a 3- year-old, because I had a 07:22 little picture of a 3- year-old and that was the only 07:25 time my mom ever looked normal to me. 07:27 He said, can you honor her then and forgive her for 07:32 everything that will happen to her in her life that will 07:35 call certain not to be able to love her children? 07:37 I thought, oh man, oh man okay. 07:40 So He's teaching me how to honor your parents and how you do that 07:43 I even called them up, it was just amazing I really feel 07:47 like asking God how to do it and He started doing that. 07:52 If anybody has ever felt twisted, you are just inside. 07:56 You know that I can dress it up. 07:57 I can look normal. 07:59 I can look healthy, but inside I'm a mess, I'm a mess. 08:02 As God started teaching me I felt like the inside was 08:07 becoming untwisted. 08:08 Next Commandment, we had honor father and mother, 08:10 what is the next one? 08:11 Thou shalt not kill! 08:12 Thou shall not kill that was easy for me. 08:14 I thought about killing people but I never actually 08:16 killed people so I thought that was an easy one. 08:19 Then Jesus messed me up because in the New Testament it 08:23 says, I don't even want you to be angry with someone. 08:28 Oh stop, have You lived down here, and He was like yes. 08:33 And I was like oh yeah, alright so we got that. 08:35 Not only being angry but deal with your what you allow 08:39 your head to experience. 08:41 It says you can be angry about a situation that comes 08:44 up, but don't let anger or rage or definitely murder 08:47 enter the picture. 08:49 I was like, that is a hard one for me. 08:51 It took me years of letting God deal with my anger 08:55 stuff because I didn't realize if I could kill a few 08:59 people, I would. 09:01 You know I would have and I want to say that in 09:04 a way, that I do not know if I acknowledged that when I was 09:08 first in recovery, but God showed my heart in me and 09:11 there was a few, you know what I mean because 09:14 I had this horrible life. 09:16 I had to deal with that when, the next one is what? 09:18 Not commit adultery. 09:20 Oh man not commit adultery and I wasn't even married 09:23 so I was easy on that one, but He said don't even 09:26 sleep with your neighbor and I'm, like what? 09:29 So okay and I'm thinking don't even, and Christ took it 09:35 even further and He said don't even lust for someone. 09:37 Don't even watch somebody walked by and think 09:40 about their body parts as if they are not 09:44 connected to a person. 09:45 I'm thinking this is impossible. 09:49 I remember looking at the Ten Commandments one time 09:52 and said, you know, this is impossible, you know God. 09:54 And I wanted somehow for Him to explain to me, 09:58 how do you do that? 09:59 How do you do that, how do you get to a place where 10:03 you are so far out. 10:05 Jeremiah talks about we are so far out in our lust 10:08 in our junk and our sin that we don't even know 10:11 how to blush anymore. 10:12 We don't even know if it's right or wrong anymore. 10:14 I feel like I was right there, I didn't know 10:17 how to be pure. 10:21 Even because of where I came from that word was 10:25 looked at as lame, that's lame, that's not cool. 10:30 If you look at any movie, video game, if you look at 10:34 what's been joked about in comic books. 10:36 When you look at somebody that is pure, that person 10:40 just looks lame, so to me and my mind I looked at 10:44 purity, or Holiness, or going in that direction as 10:48 not cool and being out here and being this or that 10:52 was hipper, or more enlightened. 10:54 God just said that is killing you. 10:56 I wanted to say that out loud over and over as many 11:00 times as I can say, as a society, as a people, as my 11:03 friends, IT IS KILLING US. 11:05 We need to allow God to take us back to a place where 11:09 I can say okay, but I am so far from that place that 11:13 You have to teach me. 11:15 I promise you I can't even, there is nothing I can pull up 11:18 in myself to even let me know what that means. 11:21 This is an example, I was feeling like I was not 11:24 attractive and I had been married for while. 11:27 I was like God you know I just want someone 11:30 to flirt with me. 11:31 God is like hello! I can't do that for you. 11:36 I remember thinking that it was my birthday and I'm 11:39 getting older and I know my husband loves me, 11:42 but I just want someone to flirt with me a little so 11:46 I know that I'm still cute [and you can send me an 11:49 e- mail if you, no I'm kidding]. 11:50 I'm driving down the street one day and I look up and 11:54 I see a billboard that is huge, it's huge. 11:56 There is an insurance guy and he is kind of cutie, 11:59 and he is smiling, looks like he is smiling at 12:02 all the cars going by. 12:03 I looked up and the Holy Spirit said, is that good? 12:06 because that's the best I can do? 12:08 I just wanted to crack up that even God knows, 12:12 even in our healing that we still has those draws that 12:17 are pulling in stuff that is not healthy for us. 12:20 For me, even asking God, can You arrange this for me? 12:25 Because I am feeling insecure. 12:26 God is just saying if you can get this one, 12:28 I promise you that I will bring you to a place 12:31 where you can stand in integrity as a woman and 12:35 just be at rest, at peace in your own skin. 12:38 So I am thinking okay, that when I do not understand 12:41 at all, and to this day, He is still walking me through 12:44 that one, but initially coming into recovery, 12:46 I didn't know anything, I really didn't know what 12:49 God was asking me. 12:50 What is really fun about the Commandments, as I was 12:54 learning the Commandments, is that He was just saying, 12:56 every single time that you get any part of this, 12:58 every time you figure out any of this, 13:00 you are going to get some victory. 13:01 Okay the next one, so we have adultery, 13:03 and the next one is? 13:04 Do not steal, don't even let me go in your bathroom if 13:08 I'm a guest because I will be looking at your stuff. 13:12 I hate that, and raise your hand if you know what 13:16 I am saying and be honest. 13:17 Okay so what really is interesting with do not steal, 13:21 I have since I was a little kid, stole. 13:26 My parents were addicts and my friends were thieves. 13:29 When I was homeless we were taught to do that and the 13:32 better you did that the better you were. 13:35 I was groomed for that and taught that and 13:38 I thought normal people weren't. 13:41 You just watch anybody do their taxes, no I'm kidding, 13:45 no I am not kidding, we all have that stuff at different 13:49 levels and God is saying let me teach you about being 13:53 honest and not stealing, and not taking. 13:56 Let the offering plate go by without trying to take 13:59 something from it and all that kind of stuff. 14:01 I'm like okay, but I don't know how to do that one either. 14:05 It was real interesting because my first reaction to 14:08 God was, I'm not a thief, I don't steal. 14:11 He started to just pointing out when I had the urge, 14:14 when in I wanted to, when I actually looked at something 14:18 as if I could I would have it. 14:20 When I cheated on my taxes, when I lied to Brad about, 14:25 my husband, what I spent money on and all that kind 14:28 of stuff, so He just said let Me show you that kind of thing. 14:32 I promise you that you will get freedom stepping away 14:36 from that, what is the next one? 14:37 Steal - false witness. 14:39 Oh man, false witness and don't talk about people 14:44 in a false way, don't lie and I'm like, oh man. 14:48 I wish I could say to the entire world, to anybody 14:52 watching us, have you ever lied? 14:55 And just have our hands go up and God just saying, 14:59 I am going to teach you to be honest. 15:02 To be trustworthy, to have your word mean something. 15:05 I thought, just kill me because I will never get that 15:09 one and God is so funny because, He just so lovingly 15:13 He grabbed me on the face and said, you'll get this one. 15:16 I will be faithful to help you get there. 15:18 I'm like, but God and God is saying I promise you. 15:24 What is the last one there is one more? 15:27 Don't covet - don't covet. 15:29 Don't envy things that other people have. 15:31 Don't covet their house, their property, their wives, 15:36 their husbands, their children, their pets and all 15:40 that kind of stuff don't covet it. 15:41 I just started saying, God You're going to have to do that. 15:45 My journey was that I came into the church all messed 15:48 up and God said let Me show you a standard, not that 15:51 you are going to feel ever in your life that you will 15:54 meet this standard, but that you and I are going to start 15:57 working on you and you will be blessed. 16:00 And man I have been. 16:02 We are going to be talking through this program about 16:05 God bringing us out of one place, showing us something 16:08 so we can actually move on to another place and I want 16:11 to be praying for you too! 16:12 To let Him show you that and we will be right back. 16:15 Stay with us! |
Revised 2014-12-17