Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Morrison
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000018
00:11 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery,
00:12 my name is Cheri and I am your host.
00:14 Today we have a family here you will love.
00:17 And what we are going to look at is normal, all it's
00:19 cracked up to be?
00:21 Come on in and you decide.
00:50 You know it's really funny when I first came into
00:52 the church, into my first part of recovery,
00:55 I thought everybody was going to be normal, of course
00:59 except for my family.
01:00 I want to remind people about my family.
01:02 My father died seven months ago in a drug house strung up
01:06 on crack, and what I want to say when I say that is that
01:09 I love my father.
01:11 He was a molester and we had a lot of damage, but my
01:14 prayer was someday that he would be changed.
01:16 So it was a really hard thing to deal with.
01:19 But my stepfather who I have known since I was four years
01:22 old I absolutely adore him, is strung out to this day.
01:26 Alcoholics, 6' 1" less than 100 pounds, liver shutting down,
01:31 lungs are shutting down, can't walk across the room without
01:33 losing his breath, without having difficulty.
01:37 My younger sister is a meth addict and has been doing
01:40 that for ever, her teeth are rotted out.
01:42 She is about 85 pounds and has Aplastic anemia and
01:46 can't produce bone marrow anymore because the
01:48 meth is so intense.
01:50 She is psychotic, when I speak to her now I know that
01:53 I am not speaking to my sister, I'm speaking to a drug.
01:57 I haven't been able to speak to her for a long time so
01:59 our family background is very intense.
02:03 My sister that is closest to me in age that is younger,
02:06 was a stripper and all that so my family is very
02:09 dysfunctional, very damaged.
02:13 For a lot of you, you know that I ended up homeless at
02:15 13 years old and so it just got more and more
02:18 complicated from that point on.
02:20 But when I found Christ, I find Jesus and it's really
02:24 funny to me, I'm in a drug house trying to kill myself
02:27 and He adores me, absolutely adores me.
02:30 And I'm like shut up how fun is that.
02:32 How cool is it that the God of the universe says, Cheri
02:36 I think you are beautiful and I want to walk you into
02:38 recovery, I want to teach you how to be not even normal.
02:44 How to be incredible, how to be fabulous, and I didn't
02:47 even realize what that meant.
02:49 The layers of damage that He was going to walk me through.
02:52 So we are going to talk about some of that stuff, but we
02:54 are going to talk about the recovery, not from drugs on
02:58 this show, and we have a lot of times talked about drugs,
03:01 alcohol, sexual addiction and those kind of addictions
03:03 that are very obvious.
03:05 Stealing, gambling, workaholism and all that stuff.
03:09 Perfectionism, maybe we will cover some of those on this
03:13 show, but we are going to talk about addictions that are
03:18 more normal, that you see all around you in normal
03:23 families or in normal churches.
03:25 I've got tell you that I thought that mine was harder
03:29 to struggle with, forgive me for thinking that.
03:33 You know what you guys, what I want to say is my
03:36 addictions are obvious.
03:38 When I go back and say I was trashed because I was beaten
03:43 or raped, I have an event I can point to all that stuff.
03:47 Some people do not have anything they can point to, it
03:49 just is this overwhelming sense of something is wrong.
03:52 Those kind of families systems, that kind of recovery.
03:54 And what is fun about that is that the recovery and the
03:58 things we have to do, whether it is really dysfunctional
04:02 or where it looks more normal, the recovery is the same.
04:07 God wants to bring victory to both systems and it is
04:11 amazing to me, if you are in a more normal family and you
04:15 feel twisted and don't know why, stay with us because it
04:19 is so much fun to realize that God wants to heal us.
04:22 I'm going to introduce you to Pastor Wayne Morrison.
04:27 And Michelle Morrison and I want to say thank you so much
04:29 for being on the show.
04:30 Our pleasure, good to be here.
04:32 You know I love you guys. - I love you too.
04:35 The first time we met we were at the Indianapolis Camp
04:39 meeting, right? - that's right.
04:40 I got to do the kids - the youth tent.
04:43 We had kids coming up and one kid even gave us his weed
04:48 on that Camp Meeting. - yes.
04:50 When someone gives you their weed, you know that you have
04:54 really vindicated God.
04:57 We have talked about recovery, we set there and dealt
05:00 with people, kids that were hallucinating, kids were hearing
05:04 voices, kids that had divorce issues.
05:06 What was amazing when you guys as Pastors came over to do
05:11 an anointing, could you tell a little bit about that night?
05:14 To me that was incredible.
05:16 It was, it was an incredible experience.
05:18 To see kids come before a Pastor and be willing to say
05:26 I need help with this, for them to be open and honest was
05:30 incredible for me and then to be able to lay hands on
05:33 them and pray for them, it was an awesome night.
05:37 We had one kid that came up and what was interesting
05:40 about this kid is that his father left when he was three
05:44 years old, and when his father left he said immediately
05:47 he started hearing voices and felt like
05:49 he wasn't worth anything.
05:51 Those voices that first became his friend because of his
05:55 abandonment and I think it was the devil himself,
05:57 the demons were just harassing this kid.
05:58 He said over the years the voices turned on him and he
06:02 pleaded with us to pray for him, to do an anointing.
06:05 I do not know which Pastor anointed him, but the next day
06:08 he came in with tears and said he hadn't heard voices all
06:11 night for the first time since he was three years old.
06:13 I thought God, I love you.
06:16 So to me this whole series is the Holy Spirit recovery
06:20 and the fact that God wants to step into our lives
06:22 and wants to heal us.
06:24 At that camp meeting I really felt that was so on the
06:27 table, but then I got to hang out with you guys.
06:31 I was so intimidated, because how cool are you guys?
06:34 I thought from hanging out with both of you I just felt
06:42 that in each of your own ways you love God and lean so on God.
06:49 As a couple I felt that and then I met your family,
06:51 and we will meet them today, we met your family and
06:54 I thought this is the most normal family
06:57 I have ever seen.
06:58 I just want to be adopted by them. - you are.
07:01 The more I've gotten to know you, the more that we have
07:07 hung out together you both shared personal things about
07:12 where God has brought you and the
07:14 struggles that you have.
07:15 And the first time you shared with me, it was over at your
07:20 place for both of you were sitting there and I remember
07:22 in my mind thinking God, you work with everybody and
07:26 we all have issues.
07:27 Even the most normal folks have issues and what I respect
07:31 about them more healthy of the normal folks I meet is that they
07:36 are willing to give it to God and that God help them.
07:37 So I want you to share your testimony with us,
07:40 and I want to hear all of it. - The whole thing?
07:44 Like what you did before you became a Pastor, what drove
07:47 you to that, and what kind of struggles you had.
07:50 You know Cheri several months ago we did a series
07:54 in our church and what I was speaking about was exactly
07:59 what you were just mentioning.
08:01 I think it is really important for us to remember
08:03 that there is no one person any messed up
08:06 then any another person.
08:07 Some of these things are more visible and
08:09 we can see them easily, but all of us have issues that
08:13 we have to deal with.
08:14 I remember saying in church one day, I think it was right
08:18 after you came, after you did that seminar.
08:21 I just said we are either dealing with their issues or
08:27 we are in denial and I think that is true for everybody.
08:30 The problem is that we can hide those issues so much
08:33 better if we wear the right kind of mask and go to church
08:37 with a big smile on her face and everything looks good,
08:40 and we can be fighting all the way to church.
08:41 We can get out of the car and say happy Sabbath.
08:44 A friend of mine, he is a famous artist, an incredible
08:47 guy, does all the Signs of the Times and the Quarterlies
08:50 and does all the artwork for that.
08:51 But he has those little cartoon that I love.
08:54 The cartoon is a foyer of a church and everybody looks like
08:58 they just came off World War I, or off from Iraq and
09:02 just got bleeding and bandaged up.
09:04 Some are limping in and some are barely making it.
09:08 And other people are leaning up against the wall and stuff.
09:11 Somebody says, hey Joe how ya doing?
09:14 And Joe says I'm doing good.
09:18 And they are so trashed, and what I love about what
09:22 you're saying now is that we have the privilege as
09:25 Christians, to walk out of our injuries.
09:27 God says I promise you if you trust Me
09:31 I will walk you out of them.
09:32 To not let them mask keep us from walking into the health.
09:38 We hold a mask up so nobody can see we are having trouble and
09:42 yet it keeps us from healing.
09:44 There are the different ways that we get those and that
09:47 is what Michele and I have found out.
09:49 We except lies, speaking about the voice, we except lies
09:55 in our life that keep us from moving forward.
09:57 - nobody will like you if you be yourself.
10:00 - or what will really make me happy is, that is where
10:02 I guess my own story would begin and I haven't really
10:05 told that very often. - so we have an exclusive?
10:09 I love that, all right, come on.
10:12 I just decided at a young age, my dad is a Pastor
10:16 and wasn't going to be a Pastor.
10:18 I can't really ever remember hearing a voice that said
10:22 Wayne you need to be a Pastor, but now when I look back
10:25 I remember there were times when I know for sure God was
10:28 calling me but I determined in my heart and my mind
10:32 that there was a picture that I wanted for my life.
10:34 I was going to be very successful businessman and so
10:36 I set out on a path towards that, I was so anxious to
10:40 accomplish all that that I quit school I was in college
10:44 for a few weeks and decided I was going to do it the fast way.
10:48 I went home and started working, today when
10:52 I look back there are two significant events that
10:58 tell me I was wrestling.
11:00 When I was back there was even listening,
11:01 I couldn't even hear it.
11:02 One was I was 12 years old and my cousin was killed in
11:07 a car accident, he was 2.
11:08 I remember negotiating with God in prayer during that
11:13 time because I am watching the people that I love just
11:15 being ripped apart so I remember negotiating with God
11:19 if You will raise him back to life,
11:22 I will become a minister.
11:24 Why would I say that if I hadn't been wrestling
11:26 with the calling like that.
11:28 Then another time when I was 17 or 18 one of my best
11:31 friends was killed in a car accident and I remember
11:33 doing the exact same thing, going through this
11:35 negotiation point where I believe that God has the
11:37 power to raise people to life, and I'm saying if You will
11:41 raise this friend of mine, then I will surrender
11:45 my life and become a Pastor.
11:46 Those never clicked with me for some reason until much
11:51 later and so we decided, I decided I was going to be in
11:56 business and I was going to serve God.
11:58 - had you guys met already Michele?
12:00 We were about 14 and he had this 40-year-old goal of
12:07 being a millionaire and it was like I was serving God
12:11 and that was so not God.
12:15 A millionaire what is this? And yet there was this part of
12:18 me that wanted to be successful and have all the bells
12:23 and whistles and he was a hard worker and I knew that he
12:27 could do it, I just knew it so it was like he will
12:29 provide for me in the way I am accustomed.
12:31 Thank God took over because when you are Jonah and
12:34 you are running from God, you get caught in the middle
12:38 of a stormy sea and our lives were the stormy seas almost
12:42 from the beginning. - from the beginning, so when you
12:43 talk about going into the business and wanting to be
12:48 successful, were you successful?
12:51 What did you get into?
12:52 I suppose in a way we were successful.
12:55 We started in construction.
12:57 - did you give her bells and whistles and new cars?
12:59 We tried, it was all on borrowed money so it didn't go
13:03 very far, but we tried.
13:05 For most of us isn't that true? - yeah, yeah.
13:07 We tried to accomplish or we try to create the mask.
13:12 We create the picture of what we want.
13:14 For many of us the only way we can do that is with
13:17 credit, which just kills us because ultimately trying to
13:21 keep up with what we are doing destroys our life.
13:25 It drives us then and so it look good probably for a lot
13:30 of people, as they looked it probably looked good but it
13:33 wasn't, it wasn't great.
13:34 We were stressed, we were under a lot of pressure and
13:37 we weren't really experiencing happiness.
13:39 So we were in construction for a while and then we went
13:43 into the printing business, we were in the printing
13:45 business for many years and failed, failed miserably.
13:50 Started over again in construction.
13:54 Can I ask you, one thing when I look back on my recovery
13:59 when I look back on even being out there and so far away
14:03 from God, I can see and hear God speak to me but from this
14:08 perspective back, during the time you were doing the business
14:12 did you sense that God was saying Hon?
14:14 - I wasn't listening, you know aw we visited earlier today we
14:19 were talking about hearing God's voice and I think for too
14:24 many of us we know we want and so while we think we are
14:27 following God we are really walking our own path.
14:29 In fact I just met with some body this week who said to me
14:32 how do you really know when you are hearing God's voice?
14:34 How do you know what His will really is for your life?
14:36 I think it is hard for us because we don't listen.
14:39 We have a picture of what we want and we're set on it.
14:42 Because we serve God, because we go to church, or because
14:45 we attend a Bible study and we say we are Christian
14:48 we think that is God's will.
14:50 It's going to make me happy and it's got to be God's will.
14:52 So why pray instead of praying for Him to reveal His
14:55 will, I pray for Him to bless His will I have determined
14:58 in my life for me and it's upside down.
15:02 It brings misery. - so when you say misery, you guys
15:07 were stressed, you guys were fighting, because you got
15:10 into a nursing field, was that during this time?
15:13 Or were you in business?
15:14 In nursing school when we got married and he supported us
15:20 while I was in school, he was working construction.
15:22 Then we moved from Chattanooga where I was in school up
15:26 to Iowa and we were going to be there just a short period
15:29 of time and we be-bobbed back up to Minnesota, to home.
15:32 We got stuck there for 14 years, no offense to lowans.
15:36 But we wanted to go home, and we got there and that was
15:41 when the recession, the early 80s, interest rates were
15:47 high and everything Wayne knew how to he couldn't do because
15:50 there was no building going on.
15:51 So his dad had a printing press that was from Oak Park
15:55 Academy and he had bought it so we started this business.
16:00 It was always a struggle, it was a struggle for the next
16:05 six or seven years because you can sleep, eat,
16:08 the weather doesn't matter when you are printing.
16:12 So that is where he started burying himself not only in
16:15 business, but in church work.
16:18 During that time we had kid after kid after kid in
16:20 quick succession, - because you have a thousand kids.
16:23 Well not right then, we just had three but they came
16:25 really quick, they came quick.
16:27 The other thousand - they came later.
16:31 During that time I'm watching him do the leadership
16:38 Christian thing and totally give himself in terms of
16:42 church, he was an elder at less than 25 years old.
16:45 He was busy on the weekends doing motor-cross and doing
16:51 that every single Sunday within a five or six hour event.
16:55 So church never left, even though you were driven with
16:59 business church never left? - no, no.
17:01 But was it a relationship, or was it just part of the
17:06 drive-ness, the image. - No it was just part of the picture.
17:11 I knew what I needed to do and I knew where
17:12 I needed to be but it was part of the picture.
17:15 You know the masks, something I thought of while Michelle was
17:19 just sharing, we have this need to feel good about ourselves.
17:24 So that can drive us to do many different things.
17:27 - for some people that is the definition of addiction.
17:31 Addiction is that I will do whatever it takes to do
17:33 a mood altering change to feel good about myself,
17:36 to feel joy and all that stuff.
17:39 That is why when you were talking about business and
17:42 success and all that stuff is that luckily you didn't
17:46 grab heroin, if you know what I mean.
17:48 What you did was grab this image and that image became
17:52 the relationship you have with this image.
17:55 Like I said I was lucky that I didn't have to ever
17:58 drink because if I had that would have probably been an
18:00 addiction for me, but work was.
18:03 When I talk to you the first time is that I thought it
18:07 would be incredible, it is incredible for God to get us
18:10 to a point were we are willing at all to take the mask
18:13 off, because we think if we take this mask off I am
18:16 nothing, what will I do, what will I be, what will
18:20 people think and God keeps saying, you are fabulous.
18:22 This mask is ugly if you know what I mean.
18:26 We have it glued to our face.
18:28 I think we hold onto it so tight because we are afraid
18:34 to trust God, most of us will say we trust God but
18:38 we are really afraid because we have decided that this
18:41 and this and this is going to make me happy.
18:42 When God asks us to release that, we say no, no, no you
18:47 don't understand this makes me happy.
18:49 What God is saying is let go and let me show
18:51 you what real happiness is.
18:53 All of a sudden I am confronted with this picture that I
18:56 don't trust God when I thought I was already serving Him.
18:59 - let me show you where recovery it is.
19:01 That's right. - so when I'm talking to you guys,
19:05 how did you get out from underneath that image?
19:09 Was it a crises, you know most of us aren't smart enough
19:13 to just say this is not working.
19:15 Unfortunately for Michelle and I. we are both very
19:19 strong-willed children, and so it was a long journey for
19:23 us, it took along time for us to come to a broken point.
19:28 So now you have three kids now, - I'm dying inside.
19:34 Everything that I wanted in life was a happy family,
19:38 a Christian husband, that we we both believe the same way
19:42 because I didn't grow up in a home that way.
19:44 I'm after that and we are doing all the things that the
19:49 church says, we are reading our Bibles, we're praying,
19:52 were going to church all the time and bringing our kids.
19:54 It is not working, I'm not feeling loved,
19:58 he is never home and I am screaming out and
20:01 it keeps on hitting the fan.
20:03 The fights are escalating and I'm thinking he's just a
20:06 big fake, maybe I'm just a big fake too because
20:09 this is way not working.
20:11 It just escalates to a point where I'm leaving.
20:16 So really escalated to that point, it is interesting as
20:21 you are speaking, both of you have pictures that are
20:24 different. - watch how this works.
20:27 Michelle is feeling empty and I'm doing everything
20:31 I can to fill her cup.
20:33 For me - it was success with your picture.
20:37 That's right, the picture is for me, she needs to be
20:39 loved and the way I show her my love is providing more.
20:41 So I work harder, and I work harder and longer and she
20:45 keeps saying this isn't working, you just don't love me.
20:48 She can't hear me saying I love you,
20:51 what do you mean I'm working all the time, in fact
20:53 I started working all night long.
20:54 The harder I tried to say I love you, the less she heard
20:57 it because for her in order to hear love, I needed
21:01 to spend time with her. - to hang out with me.
21:02 So the harder I tried to say it the less she heard it.
21:05 So we are definitely on a crash course.
21:08 - so on the verge of divorce?
21:10 Yeah I went home and took all my kids with me to get
21:13 mom and dad's. - how many kids?
21:16 Three, and I took off and my mom is fabulous in a crises
21:19 and she starts doing all the right things in nurturing me.
21:23 After about two weeks Wayne wanted to come and get me.
21:28 I'm to the point were okay, I don't want to live alone.
21:31 In my own mind it was that my mom and dad had weathered
21:34 horrendous things and stuck it out so I've got this
21:37 life commitment that we're going to stick no matter what.
21:40 So Wayne comes to pick me up and within just minutes
21:45 it just disintegrates and hopelessness sets in again.
21:48 He decides I'm going in the morning, you can either come
21:54 with me or you can stay.
21:55 If you are staying you are choosing to end this.
21:58 He just went to sleep, we did sleep in the same bed that
22:03 night but I was tossing and turning, I could not sleep.
22:05 In my mind it was like God is not only wrestling with me
22:09 for my marriage, but for my salvation.
22:12 I felt like I had been trying and doing all the stuff
22:15 I think God wants me to do but it isn't working.
22:18 So by morning I came to what I call, the conversion thing.
22:23 It was like everything that I think is the right thing to
22:26 do, obviously God I don't know how to do it.
22:28 Everything is wrong, I don't know how to do this,
22:31 I really don't know how. - step one, I'm powerless.
22:34 Yes, and He got me to that point and then He says,
22:37 just go home with him.
22:39 I remember him asking me if you never feel loved again
22:45 can I be enough for you?
22:47 It's like okay, okay I'll go back with this guy that
22:52 doesn't seem to love me at all and I don't want to break
22:55 my family up either, if he never loves me like I think
22:59 I need to be loved, God can.
23:01 It was like okay I will go home.
23:02 - I'll learn to receive it from You.
23:03 So I went, it wasn't very long before God put people in
23:08 my life, it seemed long but six months before He placed
23:14 me in a group of women to mentor me for 21 years now.
23:19 She has been instrumental, and she had already turned
23:23 around three years before, and we are very much alike
23:26 and how God will pair you up with somebody who is like
23:29 you that is farther down the path, so He can grow you.
23:33 Going back to you for what you are saying too is the
23:37 fact that both of you had healing to do.
23:41 God is doing that now through these women and through
23:44 your commitment to Him.
23:45 You are thinking, I'm trying to do this image and do
23:50 the right thing and I really honestly.
23:52 Because when people say I thought he was such a fake,
23:56 I'm really believe when we have our pictures up and are
23:59 desperately trying to be that, we are desperate.
24:02 We think we are supposed to be that way and we don't
24:05 even know how many masks we have on.
24:06 All heaven is just saying please trust me, let go.
24:11 And you know what our recovery, I think the most
24:15 coolest thing in recovery is saying to God
24:18 I don't even know how to let go.
24:20 Any 12-step group, any recovery group with step one,
24:22 I am powerless, I am out of control, I don't even know
24:25 how to think anymore and You have to do it for me.
24:28 So it is like being able to say that with our pictures
24:31 Our images or whatever, can I surrender that to God?
24:34 So when she is back, how did you get to a place
24:39 where you said, God.
24:41 It would be nice if the story was when she decided that
24:48 I decided that everything was good.
24:50 The first step of recovery is that I am powerless and
24:54 that means that you can begin to change.
24:57 So Michelle did, but I didn't.
24:59 I was still determined. - don't you think it's harder
25:03 for guys because it's a guy thing to be in control.
25:08 No, sometimes I listen to men and I think for men that
25:12 we are in a society where you are supposed to be in
25:15 control, you are supposed to do it and you are strong.
25:19 So the picture is easier to create for guys that says
25:23 as a man I am supposed to be this.
25:26 It is harder to trust God when He says let the picture go.
25:29 We are not supposed to need anybody, we are supposed to
25:32 be the provider, we are not supposed to be weak, we are
25:35 supposed to be the strong one that can be leaned on.
25:39 So it is hard, and it took many months, three years.
25:43 Before it began to happen, and I can't say that there
25:46 was any one night where I wrestled and came up the next
25:51 morning ahead, but slowly God began to lead us down a path.
25:55 I guess I would just encourage guys, the hardest
26:00 one for us to listen to is our wife.
26:03 I used to refer to what she was saying as nagging.
26:08 I had a very negative attitude towards anything she said.
26:12 - Are you ragging on me again, are you nagging me?
26:14 That's our right will be okay.
26:16 We began to try different things.
26:18 We went to a couple seminars, to Bill Goatherds Basic
26:22 Youth Conflicts, we went to Marriage Encounter.
26:26 It was transforming for us.
26:28 - and why, what did they say that worked?
26:31 He said there was no event but there was.
26:34 - men just don't know. - he can't remember.
26:37 Our business failed and it was horrible because he had worked
26:44 nonstop, a round-the-clock for almost 7 years.
26:48 Everything, from what I could tell, men's self esteem was
26:52 wrapped up in their work and especially if that is how you
26:55 are showing your love to your family.
26:57 It's a failed, fail failed and that was the turning point
27:02 at least where he started becoming real with me.
27:06 God placed Marriage Encounter right there at the point of
27:11 brokenness because our relationship hit the fan
27:16 and there was a major honesty issues that came forward and God
27:20 transformed, okay I'm dealing with the real guy now.
27:25 We are transparent, he is being real with me now.
27:29 - what is amazing to me about that?
27:32 Because I've known you guys for just a little bit now,
27:36 a few years I guess. - 4 or five years.
27:38 How cool is that? You know the real guys are awesome.
27:41 That is why I think that we do not even know, even as
27:45 you start dealing with your stuff is that who you are
27:48 underneath all the mask are absolutely awesome and
27:52 we think the mask is what works.
27:54 But when you get to see who he is, you have to have some
27:57 kind of hope then.
27:59 It just turned on a dime and it was like wow, that is
28:03 the beginning of the recovery in which recovery
28:06 is painful stuff, it's painful stuff.
28:11 Except for that hope that you see the real thing every
28:16 once in a while, it starts to pervade.
28:18 I remember my friend saying, like okay are we going to
28:21 be hurting like this, how long is this going to be?
28:25 She said to me, how long did it take you to get here?
28:29 It was like eight a half years plus a dysfunctional
28:33 courtship, so then this is 12.
28:36 And the chocolate stuff on top of that. - Yes.
28:37 So it's like 8 and 1/2 years, like okay 8 and 1/2 years
28:41 from now we will be better? She said yeah.
28:44 But it will get better along the way.
28:46 The Bible said when I first read the Bible and it said
28:50 count it all joy when trials, things hit you.
28:56 I'm thinking shut up, I am not going to count it all joy.
28:59 This is not good and what is interesting is that God says
29:03 recovery is not easy, but everything is going to take
29:06 a little bit more of the mask off.
29:08 You will be real enough walk your spiritual journey if you
29:12 will allow Me to bring these things to a head and these
29:15 things will hurt and don't run away from trials.
29:20 Don't be afraid of them, don't be afraid of conflict,
29:22 don't be afraid of recovery because recovery will
29:25 bring everything to you.
29:27 We are going to take a break because I want to come back
29:30 and finish this story, but I want to also introduce
29:34 people to your family because now you have six children and
29:37 God is using you in incredible ways, He has blessed you.
29:40 So we are going to take off, but if you have a family
29:43 and haven't gotten into recovery yet, you are still
29:46 struggling with stuff, turn it over to God and as for
29:49 the Holy Spirit every day and let Him start showing you
29:52 things. He's gentle, He so gentle.
29:54 We will be right back!
30:01 Think you've seen it all? Think again.
30:04 Cheri Peters is back for a second season of
30:08 Celebrating Life In Recovery with more lives
30:11 more stories and more miracles.
30:14 Watch the shocking, inspiring, and the incredible.
30:18 Check your local listings to find out when
30:21 Celebrating Life In Recovery comes to you and get
30:24 ready for another dose of reality, Cheri style.
30:42 You know some people wonder, maybe even on the show.
30:46 We have a show on addictions, we deal with people from
30:49 horrendous backgrounds, why do we cover normal families?
30:53 Do you know it is funny to me about that?
30:55 Most of us are normal families.
30:58 When you talk about drug addicts in use 2% of society.
31:02 Tiny little percentage, they may make the most press,
31:05 they may be the most obvious when you walk down the
31:08 street, but the people that need recovery are 98%.
31:11 So if we don't cover our normal stuff, we will stay in
31:15 bondage while the heroine addict laying in the gutter
31:18 gets recovery, how fair is that?
31:20 God wants all of us to choose recovery so we are talking
31:24 to a normal family, this family you heard their stuff on
31:28 the last segment and you have heard what has not worked
31:31 for them, I'm going to show you now what works for them.
31:35 We are going to finish up on the testimony, but they are
31:38 amazing, they are amazing and God is doing incredible
31:42 things so I'm going to invite Michelle back to the center
31:45 stage and you know why I'm going to do it separate this
31:49 time because I want to hear all this stuff and
31:50 I know with your husband sitting right next to you.
31:53 You said you did the Marriage Encounter thing, Wayne was
31:58 saying three years or so afterwards he still getting it.
32:03 So how did you get from the Marriage Encounter,
32:07 him becoming real to where you are today was
32:10 such an incredible family?
32:12 And having people like me staying at your house?
32:14 He was never going to be a Pastor and that whole process
32:19 took another breaking.
32:22 The first breaking I think did it in terms of
32:25 relationships between us where God start working on our
32:28 relationship with each other.
32:29 So for the next several many years, He focused on us.
32:34 In the process God gave us a new business. - more kids?
32:39 Well that was part of the process, as we got better it
32:43 I wanted a big family, and I didn't think I could have
32:46 anymore and there were several factors that contributed
32:50 to that but God gave me this promise.
32:51 The Holy Spirit gave me this promise that we would have
32:54 more kids and so I wanted them right away and God said
32:57 hey, no you need to get well.
32:59 You need to get well but there will come a time, and
33:01 I remember I didn't even know I was pregnant with Tyler
33:04 yet, but God had told me I was and
33:05 He told me he was a boy.
33:07 He gave me this picture, I didn't know I was going to
33:10 have two more after that but it was like He started over.
33:13 You had three already? We had three already and there
33:16 was a six-year break and we started over again.
33:18 But during that six-year period of time, God gave us
33:21 another business and there were principles of financial
33:24 security that God wanted us to embrace where
33:29 we had failed at the last one.
33:30 As soon as we deviated at all, God started blessing us.
33:34 Blessing us and blessing us with our construction.
33:36 As soon as you deviated God bless you?
33:38 No, as soon as we deviated we fell off, almost like
33:44 there was a curse right here.
33:45 As long as we were in obedience we were just right here.
33:48 Hold on for a minute, did everybody hear that?
33:51 That God has a plan, God has a direction and knows
33:54 what we need in recovery and as long as we listen,
33:58 as long as we listened He can pour into us, He can
34:01 bless us and then all of a sudden we thank you for all
34:04 that and now I'm going on my own again.
34:05 Don't do it, don't deviate because you are saying as
34:09 long as you were there He so blessed your relationship,
34:12 your family, your business.
34:14 Well we ended up going through the same thing we did
34:17 the previous time except it was worse in terms of,
34:21 it was over a long period of time in fact even today
34:25 we still have things left over from that that God,
34:28 I know that He is going to set us free at some point,
34:31 but we are not there yet and it is still left over.
34:34 But in between
34:35 - He may be afraid to because you might deviate again.
34:38 I don't want to, I don't want to deviate.
34:41 One of the principles of freedom is that when you are
34:45 breaking, and you are the generation that breaks it,
34:49 for me it's your family life and there are fruits of
34:53 dysfunction and you can stand in denial if you want.
34:56 But if you look at the fruit of your family relationships
34:59 are they healthy, or are they broken.
35:01 We can look at people in church where their children have
35:03 totally left the church and they were no longer in.
35:06 Or they had no relationship with them here, our leaders
35:10 in the church whose children never come home, we have
35:13 never met them, or if they did they never stay with them
35:15 and it is like what is going on here? I don't get this.
35:18 We don't want that, we want healthy relationships.
35:21 In my own family those things that were broken, I want it
35:24 fixed and I know that it starts with me.
35:27 It starts with me. - but wait, don't you know that is
35:30 the biggest, absolutely the biggest thing to learn.
35:33 As soon as I can realize that it is not about anyone else,
35:37 it is about me the Holy Spirit and God empowers me to
35:40 make a change, because I can't change right?
35:43 Right. - you can't change Wayne.
35:45 Those three years were me changing me and then from that
35:49 point on he got it, like him changing him.
35:52 Then we started working on us changing us together.
35:56 The lid in any church, we believe in terms of the
36:00 leadership, how Jesus says you never raise higher then
36:05 your Master, if the Master gets persecuted so will you.
36:09 So in terms of our relationship, it is like we have to
36:13 get it, we are this umbrella covering over our children.
36:17 If we have holes in our umbrellas they are going to get
36:20 hit, so we have watched as each one of them, as we have
36:24 sealed up the holes in our own character.
36:27 God showing us, walking through it, healing us, they
36:30 haven't even had to deal with the things we did.
36:34 If you look at the story, one of my favorite stories is
36:38 the story of Joseph, because it is right there at Joseph
36:42 the dysfunction that has been coming down for four
36:45 generations hits the fan and someone who is relatively
36:48 innocent of wrongdoing ends up carrying the family pain.
36:51 Yet God does amazing things through him,
36:57 He creates a nation of holy people that God wants
37:00 to use for all eternity.
37:02 So as we did this, as we are getting well God is going
37:06 to do this for us and sometimes He will not even visit
37:10 the iniquity of our sins upon them.
37:13 We have watched relationally each one of our kids dating.
37:17 So we are going to meet your kids.
37:20 First I want Wayne to come end some things with you.
37:23 Michelle I'm going to cover, we are going to talk in a
37:25 whole other the show, were going to do a whole show with
37:28 you and I, because I just think we should. - okay.
37:32 Wayne come on, and what is really fun to me I heard you
37:39 say at the beginning of this show, I am not going
37:42 to be a Pastor. - that is right.
37:44 So you went to the marriage seminar and all that stuff,
37:47 how did you get from that to being real with her,
37:50 to being a Pastor?
37:51 We began to get involved in Marriage Encounter.
37:58 After we went to and Marriage Encounter we wanted to be
38:02 part of that process and so we became part of the team.
38:06 You started teaching? Yeah. - oh shut up.
38:09 How funny is that, don't you think as dysfunctional as we
38:11 get an all of a sudden we start teaching what we learn.
38:14 Can you answer me honestly one thing?
38:17 Do you teach it because you no longer have any struggles?
38:20 No, in fact what Marriage Encounter is sharing your
38:25 struggles with other couples and challenging them to try
38:28 to use the same tools you used.
38:30 What you are saying is I'm still growing and still
38:32 learning and here is what I am doing, try it.
38:35 They try it and it is a process that we work together.
38:38 It works awesome, it really does.
38:40 I guess the reason I ask you that is that sometimes when
38:44 somebody says you know what?
38:45 I struggled with this and give it to God and the next day
38:49 my whole life was fine, I'm thinking I want to kick them.
38:52 That is so not fair because my life isn't fine.
38:56 Not that it's not fine, I love life but every day I do
38:59 the right thing now hopefully, most of the time.
39:02 I turn it over to God and use the tools
39:05 He has taught me, or whatever I call somebody, is not
39:09 that they don't come up.
39:10 You begin to hear His voice, and more and more often you
39:14 answer that directives, turn to the left or turn to
39:18 the right, or keep on.
39:20 So more and more you get more healthy.
39:22 Scripture says that in any generation, Scripture talks
39:27 about generational sins that we continue to process from
39:30 one generation to the next and if you look around you in
39:33 the world today you know that every generation is
39:37 getting worse, we are on this downhill slide.
39:40 But Scripture is also very clear that it can turn
39:43 in any one generation, all we have to do is decide this
39:46 is the generation where it is going to stop.
39:50 The next generation can be better, not worse.
39:54 They can actually get closer and closer.
39:56 - you decided that for your family?
39:58 It's going to stop with me. - yeah, well probably at
40:02 the beginning, not even purposely we were hurting so
40:06 much we knew we had to do something.
40:08 We were either going to live for ever in pain or you're
40:10 going to have to do better, and it's God began to heal
40:13 us I remember praying especially when we were in the
40:16 depths of despair, Lord we need to be healed.
40:19 But the other thing is as if there's any way that this
40:22 pain can be used for good somewhere down the line that
40:25 would be really awesome.
40:27 - it's going to be used right now.
40:29 Well He's been awesome and incredible God. - Amen!
40:33 So what is going to be amazing to me is to meet
40:36 your kids, and I want to ask you has this stuff
40:39 affected them at all?
40:41 Like we're going to meet Lawren first.
40:43 Has and is, it never stops.
40:48 I think that anyone that says I got it, they are
40:51 deciding that God has done enough in their life and
40:54 they don't want anymore of His blessing.
40:56 God continues all the time.
40:58 Just recently Lawren came in our room one night and she
41:05 was pretty stressed about an issue in her life.
41:07 She asked as what we thought she should do.
41:10 It would really be cool to be the parents like father
41:13 knows best or something, but it doesn't work.
41:16 - but don't you want it to? - I want it to.
41:18 What we did was challenge her to go to bed that night
41:22 and pray and then journal.
41:24 Just wait and see what God says to her.
41:27 The next morning I remember her saying, that she felt
41:31 God had revealed some things to her but not necessarily
41:35 having to do with what we've are talking about,
41:37 or what her questions were.
41:39 We said well is it significant?
41:42 She said no it is so small it doesn't really matter.
41:45 We convinced her, coaxed her to share with us exactly
41:48 what it was.
41:50 What she said was, He had revealed to her that from
41:54 a very young girl she decided she wanted to be older
41:59 then she was, and she wanted to be a boy.
42:03 Where did that come from? Lawren has an older brother.
42:08 She wanted to be able to go to work with me.
42:12 I would like Christopher come to work.
42:14 - so you had spent a lot of time with him. - yeah.
42:16 She wanted to come to work and I wouldn't let Lawren
42:18 come to work because she was a girl and she wasn't old
42:21 enough, he was two years older.
42:23 So this innocent lie in her head was that if she was
42:27 older and a boy I would love her more.
42:29 Lawren and I have had a great relationship, I think.
42:32 You could ask her, but I think we've had a great
42:35 relationship but there was still something that Satan
42:38 tried to use in her mind to destroy her, to change her
42:41 identity, and to hold her from being free.
42:44 What God did that night was reveal it and now we are
42:47 walking through the process of me saying over and over,
42:50 I'm sorry and I love you.
42:53 In the recovery process, which I think is amazing,
42:55 we think of recovery is just drugs and alcohol.
42:58 In the recovery process any lie that Satan has told us,
43:01 anything that has damaged us God wants to bring it to
43:05 light, not only to bring it to life but for you to see
43:08 a lie of it and choose life, choose healing.
43:11 That is the healing, it is recognizing the lie,
43:14 accepting the truth from Jesus and allowing Him to
43:18 speak to us who we are in Him.
43:21 What's interesting is that before your journey to
43:24 recovery, before you were standing up and trying to
43:27 figure out who you are truly as a man of God and stay
43:30 present and stay real,
43:32 you wouldn't have hurt her? - no.
43:34 Had you not been working hundred miles an hour, because
43:36 the workaholism wish you were trying to do this image
43:38 and you couldn't have hurt her?
43:41 I believe the greatest healing power for people today is
43:47 if the parent can say to their child how have I hurt you?
43:52 And then to hear them. I can't tell you how many kids
43:57 come and say I wish they would say that, but they are not
44:01 going to, and they don't.
44:03 But they still have to try and find healing without that.
44:05 But if the parent could say that their kids and listen
44:09 and simply say no defense, I did it and I'm sorry.
44:13 Forgive me, I do love you, what can we do from here?
44:16 What is really interesting to me when you say that
44:19 because I hear that from kids too..
44:21 It's even been able to say to the parent is it doesn't
44:25 even have to be the way was caught because you didn't
44:28 love your son more than Lawren.
44:30 It was just a lie they came into her head because of what
44:33 she saw, so it is their perception and you don't have to
44:37 defend on what it was.
44:38 Just to be able to love them, I'm sorry.
44:40 You know that I love you.
44:43 What I love about your healing is that it reflects on
44:47 everybody around you, and even in our relationship.
44:51 When I met you the fact that you are learning to walk as
44:55 a man of God present, I get to be as your sister in Christ
44:58 I get to be a reciprocal of that, I get to feel your
45:03 journey and I know that you are not perfect now.
45:07 And I love you more, you and Michelle I love you more.
45:11 I love you more as I learn about you guys.
45:12 So are going to have Lawren come up, Lawren come on up.
45:16 Lawren, when I first met you I saw this incredibly
45:21 beautiful child that has these incredible parents.
45:26 So now he is telling me about you as a child.
45:29 How are you dealing with that and what was it like to be
45:31 able to take it to them?
45:33 It was weird because my dad is my hero.
45:37 We always want to pass blame to our moms,
45:40 I think for girls.
45:42 So I didn't tell them right away because I didn't want it
45:46 to be my dad's fault, but I finally did and I was in
45:50 Greece and he'd called me on the phone.
45:53 Or like ever since then he's been calling me and say I'm
45:55 so glad you are a girl, I love you, over and over.
45:58 I say dad it is okay, it's alright, it's alright.
46:01 Once I figured it out I realized it had such an effect
46:06 because I always was trying not to do girly things.
46:11 I did want to like dolls because that was a girly thing.
46:14 I do not talk about my feelings because that is a stereo
46:17 typical girl thing so was trying to avoid all those
46:20 different things and now I'm realizing, like okay God
46:23 wants me to be a girl.
46:25 It's okay to be emotional and whatever else girls are
46:29 supposed to do. - you were so detached from that.
46:32 It was like I don't even know what that means.
46:35 So you have to really ask God, how am I going to be that?
46:39 I don't how to be that anymore. - exactly!
46:42 You look like a girly girl. - thanks.
46:45 Which is good, so what I want to say to you is that you
46:49 are Andrews University, a theology major.
46:52 Talk a little bit about that, that is so hip to me.
46:56 It's hip it's great I would take you anywhere on the
46:59 planet to deal with youth with me. - okay, let's go.
47:03 You're almost out of school? - yeah.
47:05 So why did you choose theology?
47:06 When I had graduated from high school I had no idea what
47:10 I wanted to do, I just figured I'd go into education
47:13 because then I could get summers off.
47:15 So okay I'm going to go to be a teacher.
47:17 - so you wonder summers off? Yeah then you can do what
47:20 you want so I went to Union College for a year and then
47:23 took a year off and start teaching school and then
47:26 I came back I went to New Mexico teaching
47:29 at this Indian Reservation.
47:32 I realize the next day, some girls taught one day and
47:35 then we'd switch and the next day I was painting.
47:37 We painted their cafeteria and I thought I would rather
47:41 be painting this building then in there dealing with
47:44 kids and stuff, I don't want kids to go home and feel
47:48 that they are draining their teacher.
47:49 I did want to have that effect on them saw I was like
47:53 I need to get out of this I can't, it's not right.
47:56 So I called my parents, and they always knew what Chris
48:02 was going to do they always knew what am I supposed to do?
48:06 Oh I was supposed to do something medical, they probably
48:10 know what you guys are going to do.
48:12 You will not accept it right away, but they always knew
48:16 and I was okay guys I'm not going to be a teacher.
48:18 What am I supposed to do? I'm just going to do what you
48:20 tell me, they had no idea.
48:23 So for the next semester of school I took some art classes
48:26 and stuff but. - you are an incredible artist.
48:29 Yeah, well God is helping with that, I don't know,
48:33 I just like it.
48:34 For the next semester I just prayed and prayed, God show
48:37 me what You want me to do because
48:40 I picked the wrong thing and I realized right away that
48:43 I was in the wrong school.
48:44 God wanted me to go to Andrews and I had gone to the wrong
48:46 place so that backfired and a lot of things happened that
48:50 I could have avoided if I had listened to Him.
48:51 So for the semester I just pray and God wasn't answering
48:54 me, I knew I was suppose to go to Andrews but I didn't
48:57 know what I was suppose to take.
49:00 I love mission trips, and I saw this sign for a mission
49:03 trip to Africa, and I was like awe I want to go to Africa.
49:07 I got so excited, and I went in there and there were so
49:10 many kids that wanted to go and only 20 or so could go.
49:13 So he had us write a letter of why we wanted to go.
49:17 I said I wanted to get out of my box and do something for
49:20 God and going out of the country makes me open up.
49:24 Because I'm a shy person typically, so I had to write,
49:28 and I wasn't trying to sell myself to go on this trip,
49:32 I was just saying I want to go to Africa.
49:35 You're honestly just saying, this is who I am and
49:38 I so want to go.
49:39 Yeah I was just saying I want to go, I wasn't trying to
49:43 sell it and the wrote us back and they had picked me and
49:46 it ended up being only 20 people that had been actually
49:49 able to follow through with it.
49:51 So they picked us and I was sitting in the meeting after
49:54 I was picked and as they were talking I realized,
49:58 because Alissa my sister had gone on a trip
50:00 with the same group.
50:01 She had worked with kids, I like playing with kids,
50:03 I like working with kids, so I can do that.
50:06 I can sing and help with art projects or whatever.
50:09 As he was talking, about what in the world because the
50:13 guy was saying we will have our own churches, our own
50:16 groups and we're going to speak, we are the speakers.
50:19 And I thought I'm going to be speaking by myself?
50:23 Like excuse me I'm not that somebody.
50:25 Yeah as we were already picked, you are going to go and
50:28 afterwards I went to my room and I was like God,
50:31 what are You doing?
50:33 So I figured if God chose me of all those people that it
50:37 was going to work out and it would be fine.
50:39 So I looked on the website and it said my Church group,
50:42 It has an estimated number of people.
50:44 It was 700 people. - no way. - I was like, I was
50:48 freaking out, but okay God wants me to go because
50:52 He picked me so if something is that clear and you get
50:55 chosen out of all these people, and you weren't even
50:57 trying and God wants that for you.
51:00 It really is a loud message. I am so in control.
51:04 God is saying, I am so in control. Don't be afraid.
51:07 So I went through all the sermons and was practicing
51:11 on my little brothers and sisters.
51:13 - were they saved? - yeah, they all came forward
51:17 during my call and so I got ready.
51:21 We went and I met my Pastor, and I looked younger than
51:25 I am, which didn't help with the issue
51:27 of me being younger.
51:28 I went and I was a girl and he was this accomplished
51:32 Pastor and had nine churches and was looking
51:34 at me like what! I know he was judging me right away.
51:38 I was nervous, so we went to my church site and they
51:42 started talking, well we can't meet in the church because
51:46 there is about 2500 people and on Sabbath we can't.
51:48 I was like wait, what, there was like 2000 people over on
51:54 Sabbath and weekends for church, they have like 2000
51:58 people and I was freaking out.
52:00 I had that verse, "I can do all things through Christ
52:03 "which strengthens me. "
52:04 I was like okay, God has a purpose and I am supposed
52:08 to be here so I was nervous and I was visualizing,
52:11 because they had the church set up and all the benches
52:14 were up the hill.
52:16 I was picturing it like the benches being full.
52:19 I was like okay that's not so bad, I can do it.
52:21 So the first night came and I got so excited I was sitting
52:28 up there, you would kneel down and pray and I kept
52:31 looking up wondering when they were done because every
52:34 once in awhile everyone would say Amen together.
52:36 So it's like we'll were done, oh we're not done.
52:38 How about my head because I didn't know because
52:40 they say Amen like five times before they are actually
52:42 done with the prayer.
52:43 So I was like get me ready I'm ready to preach this,
52:47 maybe just to get it over with because we had like 19
52:51 sermons in 16 days or something like that.
52:54 So I was all excited and afterward everyone had gone home
52:58 and I was sitting and taking it all in, like the adrenaline.
53:02 I had never spoken up in front, I did a children's story
53:05 once because I had to for a class.
53:07 I took public speaking in my freshman year of college
53:10 and I hated it, I would get so nervous.
53:13 So I was sitting up in the church building that they
53:16 didn't use and I was sitting with that Pastor
53:19 and he said you're going to be a preacher like
53:21 your dad. I was like no I am not but I will take the
53:25 compliment because I knew he was thinking this is
53:28 a girl and she can't do this.
53:30 What he doesn't know is that girls are powerful.
53:32 I want to introduce you to the rest of the family.
53:35 We are out of time so you are just going to see them.
53:37 They are amazing, Katie, come up first.
53:41 And Katie if you were in a ministry what would it be?
53:44 Probably with little kids. - you love little kids?
53:47 - yeah. - that it's amazing.
53:49 Okay go ahead and have a seat, but give me a hug.
53:52 When you get into ministry, after graduation I want you
53:56 to come work with us.
53:58 I want to introduce you to Nicholas, Nicholas you are
54:01 fabulous, you are an artist, you are funny, you love
54:05 horses just like me, I love all that stuff.
54:08 Tyler you are at and Academy in Minnesota.
54:10 Your dad says you're going to be a Pastor,
54:13 but you said no way.
54:15 Absolutely no way and I hope you guys heard everything
54:20 we said, starting out with all the struggles and trying
54:25 to figure out who they are even as parents.
54:27 Then coming in with the right relationship with each
54:30 other, with God, raising their family in ways that
54:33 every family member decides that they are going to get
54:37 into ministry in someway.
54:38 Maybe some not even deciding yet but God is working on
54:41 them and they have such a cool home.
54:44 So I want to say if you think you are normal,
54:47 check out the fruits like Michelle was saying.
54:50 How is your family going and if they are not quite right
54:53 ask the Holy Spirit to come into your life and show you
54:57 what is not right and turn it over to God and live
55:00 a life victoriously in recovery.
55:02 The Bible says the best of the best of us are like filthy
55:06 rags, and I so believe that.
55:08 I think right now what I would like you to remember is
55:11 that God wants freedom in recovery for all of us.
55:13 So stay tuned and we will be right back.
55:19 Cheri Peters uses the book, 'Coming Of The Comforter'
55:22 as a guide for the second season of Celebrating Life In
55:26 Recovery, written by Lee Roy E. Froom is a 320 page book
55:29 that offers every sinner the knowledge that the
55:32 Holy Spirit is available to all.
55:34 3ABN now offers this book to you for a suggested donation
55:37 of only $13 postpaid within the U.S.
55:41 Call 3ABN at 618-627-4651 or go online to 3ABN.org.
56:01 On the break Lawren was talking about the worst thing
56:03 she ever did, and of course that gets my attention.
56:06 I'm thinking she's adorable, her parents are adorable and
56:09 they are this healthy family and she says that she stole
56:13 some cookies, or a cookie.
56:15 I'm thinking what? She said yes about five years later
56:17 she called them up and had to apologize because her
56:20 conscience was too overwhelming.
56:23 I laughed my head off because I thought how cool is that
56:26 going into this family and the background they came from,
56:29 knowing what they dealt with in their lives and I know
56:32 even their childhood before all this stuff happened that
56:35 you heard about, and then they had children that
56:38 the worse they did was steal cookie.
56:40 I love that and God is so good.
56:41 Pastor Wayne talked about during the break too which was
56:44 way cool about how we all strive to have these normal
56:47 families, or we say that, but normal nowadays
56:50 is dysfunctional.
56:52 Normal is that you are overwhelmed with financial
56:56 stuff, and sexual addictions, and anger, and
56:59 perfectionism, and all that junk.
57:01 I think we have to stop being normal, I think we have to
57:05 step away and say God I want to be incredible.
57:08 It reminds me of Jeremiah, there is a prophet in the Bible
57:11 Named Jeremiah and God tells him I want you to go to the
57:14 Potter's house and watch him because there is a spiritual
57:16 lesson here and so Jeremiah goes.
57:18 The Potter has this clay on this wheel and he is loving
57:22 it, he is building this clay up and making
57:24 this incredible piece out of it.
57:26 It's getting pretty good sized, but there is an impurity
57:30 in the clay that he cannot work out.
57:32 He can't work it out so he can't build it up anymore so
57:35 Potter get so frustrated he can't do anymore.
57:39 So Jeremiah is getting anxious wondering what he is going
57:41 to do, is he going to throw the clay away?
57:43 He got a sense that the clay was us.
57:45 He was like don't throw it away, the Potter doesn't.
57:48 The Potter takes it all way back down to a small ball
57:51 and he makes a little bowl, a small vessel out of it.
57:54 And God said, I can make you do something incredible.
57:58 You can have an incredible life.
57:59 You can be an incredible vessel, or you can be taken back
58:02 down and made something simpler if you can't work your
58:06 stuff out and I'm thinking work it out.
58:08 The only secret to working it out, it's not Prozac.
58:11 Even though I don't have anything against Prozac.
58:14 It is the Holy Spirit and it is God.
58:16 So get it, get it and turned over and ask Him.
58:19 I want to say thanks for joining us and we will see you
58:22 again next week, always remember that God is crazy
58:24 about you and me too.