Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Fred Stoeker
Series Code: CLR
Program Code: CLR000016
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00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery and I am
00:12 Cheri your host and today is going to be a little 00:13 intense because I'm so proud of God and the fact that 00:19 He heals us, so come join us and you will love this show. 00:50 Well a lot of people talk about recovery and they talk 00:53 about recovery from drugs, alcohol and those things. 00:56 Cigarettes, some kind of chemical thing, but when I talk 00:59 about recovery, I talk about recovery from everything. 01:02 Sometimes people need recovery, we had a guy on the show 01:06 that was in 8 foster homes, he had Cerebral Palsy as a kid, 01:09 his mother was alcoholic. His recovery with 01:12 recovery from all that never been loved or not knowing who he 01:15 was, not knowing how he fit in, or how his disease was. 01:18 So when I talk about recovery, I talk about recovery in 01:21 every aspect, mentally, spiritually, 01:23 and physically, all those things. 01:25 When somebody told me one time that addiction is like 01:30 cancer, in cancer one cell is out of control, right? 01:35 All cancers have this one cell out of control, whether it 01:39 is breast Cancer, or colon cancer, or lymphoma or skin 01:43 cancers, any of that stuff it is one cell out of control. 01:47 Addiction it is the same way, regardless of what the 01:49 addiction is it is usually one thing out of control. 01:53 Some of us are lucky enough to have many addictions. 01:56 So that is a lot of things out of control, but it is the 01:59 same kind of thing when you get into recovery. 02:02 It's the same thing because recovery is recovery. 02:04 What works for one addiction is the same for another 02:07 addiction, when you go to a 12 step group or an addiction 02:10 group or a recovery group they will tell you 02:12 one day at a time. 02:15 It doesn't matter what the addiction is, one day at a 02:16 time, do this, do the right thing. 02:18 When I started exercising and eating right because 02:21 I am a heroine addict in recovery and so somebody said 02:23 drink a lot of water, take some showers make sure that 02:26 you eat right and all those things. 02:28 So my physical addiction from a heroine started to feel 02:31 better right? But so did my depression. 02:33 I'm thinking I can't believe this I am actually feeling 02:38 better psychologically. 02:39 When I started working on being honest with myself, my 02:42 relationships improved and I'm thinking how fun is that? 02:45 So one thing will lead to another and all addiction is 02:48 is the same and recovery is the same. 02:50 Were going to interview Fred Stoeker again today. 02:53 Fred I love you, the last time we were on the show we 02:56 had e-mails from everyone on the planet I think. 02:59 And most emails were from people that wanted help 03:02 so that was incredible. 03:04 We have Pastor Richard, Pastor Richard keeps me in line 03:07 on every one of the shows and I appreciate that. 03:09 We have Dan Somers, I always call you curly just 03:11 because, and in the show just look at his face and try 03:16 to figure out why I call him that. 03:17 And Valerie, you are new in recovery. Angie thank you 03:21 for coming and I love you from Oklahoma and Sam you have 03:24 a testimony that you are going to cover on another show, 03:28 but in the café we have a number of 03:29 people from different places. 03:31 What is funny about that, is most of them will have 03:34 their own recovery stories and we are not going to cover 03:37 them all today, but every single person on this show has 03:40 recovery stories and every person you see on the show 03:43 if you get connected with them at all pray for them. 03:46 We are all dealing with something. 03:48 I want to give a demonstration and it is my favorite 03:50 demonstration, it is so much my favorite demonstration 03:53 that I have to do it. 03:54 Every time I say I'm going to do that the whole staff here says 03:56 oh please don't do it, it's terrible, it's gross and it 04:01 really is but bear with me. 04:04 There is a message that you will love. 04:07 I have $100 bill, can you see that? 04:10 It is fairly new, I have wrinkled it a little bit 04:13 carrying it around, but it is $100 bill right? 04:16 Does everybody see it? I want to ask, does anybody 04:18 want this hundred dollar bill, just raise your hand? 04:21 Oh Val come on be honest just raise your hand. 04:26 So I've got this hundred dollar bill. 04:28 What if I take this $100 bill and just crinkle it up? 04:33 And I'm going to try to crinkle it up as much as I can. 04:37 Because it doesn't really look like $100 bill anymore. 04:41 But does anybody want it still? umhumm. 04:43 What if I, if I dunk it in your water, throw it on the 04:50 floor, step on it and smash it into the ground? 04:54 You know I have horses and I wear these shoes out 04:58 sometimes to deal with my horses and so I probably have 05:00 a little horse stuff on my foot. 05:01 Do you still want this? Yes! Alright. 05:05 Okay now I'm going to open it up just to see if it is 05:08 still $100 bill, man it still is. 05:12 Okay now I'm going to spit on it, does anybody, I was 05:17 trying to get Angie to do that for me but she was like 05:22 no way I'm not hocking" a huge on a $100 bill. 05:25 But now it is dripping and wet and it's disgusting, 05:28 does anybody still want this hundred dollar bill? 05:31 Sure! Yep. Why is that? 05:35 The value, it's still $100 bill, right? 05:39 What I want to say it is when God looks at us we could 05:43 be a mess, we could be trashed, we can be twisted, we 05:46 could be abused from the time we came out of the womb. 05:49 But when God looks at us we are still His children. 05:51 Just like this hundred dollar bill is still $100 bill. 05:54 We do not lose value to God no matter what we have been 05:57 through and I don't care what it is. 05:59 You can look at somebody and say, even that guy or that 06:03 girl if you are breathing you are of value to God and 06:06 at that value has never changed and will never change. 06:10 Trust Him, turn it over to Him and let Him so fill 06:14 you up that you are for ever in recovery. 06:19 With all your stuff because in God's eyes nothing has 06:23 ever changed with Him. 06:24 We are going to do something a little bit different in 06:27 this show, instead of having the introductions we 06:30 usually do and having the teaching like we usually do 06:32 we are going to break and come back and do the interview 06:34 sooner because I want to give Fred as much time as 06:37 you need to cover the issues he wants to cover. 06:39 So stay with us, we will be right back and this is going 06:43 to be absolutely amazing, it is absolutely too cool 06:46 so hang in there. 06:52 Think you've seen it all? Think again. 06:55 Cheri Peters is back for a second season of 06:59 Celebrating Life In Recovery with more lives 07:03 more stories and more miracles. 07:06 Watch the shocking, inspiring, and the incredible. 07:10 Check your local listings to find out when 07:12 Celebrating Life In Recovery comes to you and get 07:16 ready for another dose of reality, Cheri style. 07:35 I am so excited to do this show, the last time Fred was 07:37 on, Fred first of all I have to say thank you for 07:40 coming back. - it's great to be here. 07:42 The last time you were on we did a show on sexual 07:45 addictions, we did a show on recovery from that and 07:48 we did a show with your wife Brenda, about her take on 07:51 healing when you find out that your spouse is lost in 07:55 sexual stuff and I got e-mails from 07:58 everybody on the planet. 07:59 I get e-mails from pastors that were saying, you have 08:03 given me the courage to get out of this addiction and 08:07 to step into recovery which I immediately called and 08:11 left a message. I can't even believe this. 08:14 When I got that, and if the pastor is watching I just 08:18 want to say you blessed me, you so blessed me because 08:21 shows about that, listening up and getting courage to 08:24 step out of your addiction, and what ever it is, sex, 08:28 drugs, rock 'n roll just to be able to step out of that. 08:31 We had responses from everyone. 08:33 This time we want you to come back, you did another 08:36 book called, 'Tactics'. 08:37 Explain that book and let's get into all that other stuff. 08:41 Well when I wrote my first book 'Every Man's Battle' I 08:45 had been talking about the physical side of the 08:48 addictions to some extent the chemical reactions in the 08:52 brain when we are looking at porn and 08:54 sensual things in our environments. 08:56 I had talked about defending ourselves from more of a 08:59 physical standpoint, guarding in our eyes, guarding our 09:02 mind and keeping our hearts pure so that we can cut 09:06 off the addictive part of sin in our life. 09:10 You said even making a covenant with your eyes, 09:12 I think about that now when I see something that draws 09:15 me or any part of my addiction I think of 09:17 a covenant with your eyes. 09:19 That was such a cool thing to learn. 09:20 Well the eyes are really the gateway into your soul and 09:23 one of the things we need to make sure of is that our 09:25 eyes are really being kept pure. 09:27 One of things I find my own recovery process is that 09:31 guarding my eyes and mind took me about 80 to 85% of 09:35 the way home in terms of getting completely broken free 09:39 and a total victory. 09:40 But the other thing that I found was really necessary 09:43 was for me to move from a position of conforming 09:46 to the truth to actually being transformed, 09:49 thinking more like Christ when it comes to my sexuality 09:51 and how I treat women. 09:53 What I wanted to do is to teach guys how to take that next step 09:58 and get really intimate with the Heavenly Father 10:00 really intimate with Christ, with your brothers in Christ 10:02 as an army together you can fight this battle. 10:06 What I found in my own particular case is that as the 10:11 intimacy with the Father grew, my own desire for sexual 10:15 sin dissipated completely almost. 10:17 And over time it is gotten to the point where that whole 10:20 temptation battle where you are first fighting 10:24 this battle is always this oh should I do that 10:27 or shouldn't I, temptation pops up and its oh no. 10:30 There is a place in God where you can get where those 10:34 temptations aren't like that anymore. 10:36 You can walk through your life in peace and you don't 10:38 have to worry that something is going to pop up 10:40 and scare you anymore. 10:42 I have to say and I noticed this on the last show that 10:45 we had done a radio show together and my background 10:47 is that I was homeless and strung out and all that so 10:50 when I came into the church, even coming to the church 10:53 I didn't find a lot of men that had 10:55 that kind of integrity. 10:57 In fact every once in a while I would see somebody 10:59 looking at me in a certain way or whatever and I never 11:03 felt completely safe, I still checked on people's motives. 11:06 There was one time you said that a woman walked into 11:08 your office and she was kind of cute, she was dealing 11:11 with her issues and at one point you realized that 11:14 you are safe with her. 11:16 When you said that, it was almost like you said that and 11:19 I want to stop and say God thank you because I didn't 11:22 think You were going to get me here. 11:23 Well see, I really feel like as a Christian man I need to 11:28 be heroic in the way that I treat other people. 11:31 And I think heroic, you think back to the knights in 11:36 shining armor, or the sheriff that saves 11:40 the town and you are always thinking in terms of that 11:44 guy is protecting everyone. 11:47 It is his job to be a protector. 11:49 I feel like as the men we should be heroic in the way we 11:52 treat women, and children in that women and children 11:55 should be completely safe around us. 11:56 They don't have to worry about us looking them up and 11:59 down and stealing from them for our own pleasure. 12:02 Kids should never have to worry about, if they are 12:04 bouncing on our knees, what we might be thinking inside 12:07 our heads, and it is one thing to say that and another 12:09 thing to become that. 12:10 My whole goal in my ministry is to help men not to just 12:13 seem to be Christians, because they go to church and 12:16 they look good and they bounce kids on their knees. 12:18 I want men to actually be Christians through and through 12:21 so the kids are safe, women are safe, and they are 12:23 actually living free as they go through their lives. 12:26 - but as a damaged woman coming into the church, 12:29 I so thought everybody was going to be that way. 12:32 Do you know what I mean? In my heart I felt like this 12:35 was going to be a safe place and I can let down all this 12:38 guard and now I see more and more, and hopefully with 12:41 books like 'Every Man's Battle', more men and women 12:45 both saying we really can get victory over this. 12:48 It's such a hopeful thing, I don't have to be 12:52 locked in this for ever. 12:53 There are a lot of people that take Paul's words that say 12:57 I do what I don't want to do, and the things I do want 13:01 to do I don't do and a lot of people take those 13:03 scriptures and say look because of that we know we can 13:06 never really be free of sexual sin and it's always going 13:09 to be something like a parrot on your shoulder speaking 13:12 in your ear and drawing you. 13:13 But what I found in my own life is that 13:15 is simply not true. 13:17 If you look at the rest of Paul's words 13:19 - does anyone want to say Amen? 13:21 I think it is important for people 13:24 - to know that you're not going to struggle the rest of 13:27 your life, that God will give you victory. 13:28 - well you see I didn't know that there was that kind 13:31 of freedom, when I began to fight the battle for freedom 13:33 I have one thing in mind. 13:34 My heart was so broken over the distance that I had from 13:38 God at the time but I just wanted to be able to look 13:41 Him in the eye again. 13:42 You know when you go to God some 400 times and say 13:45 I'm going to stop this and you don't, after a while 13:49 you can't hardly lookup when you go to prayer, 13:52 you are just broken. 13:54 Here He is my Father and He loves me and I can't even 13:57 look Him in the eye and so I wasn't trying to improve my 14:02 sex life with my wife or really to do any thing for myself 14:06 or any of that, I was just looking to just be able to sit 14:09 in His lap again and to look in His face. 14:11 The thing is there was so much more than what I was 14:16 expecting, I thought I could get in there and get connected 14:20 with Him and feel free just from that feeling of guilt. 14:23 If I was freed just from the feeling of guilt I was going 14:26 to be happy, but what it has turned out to be is that 14:30 I can go now traveling in hotel rooms and not have 14:33 a single temptation all night. 14:35 I can walk through the halls of a business and see 14:39 beautiful women and not have a temptation, I don't even 14:42 care if I look at them or even think about it. 14:45 I can raise my children to be free and I don't have to, 14:48 I used to look at my son, he just got married, he's 23. 14:51 When he was two I used to look into his eyes and 14:53 he would paddle up to me on his little legs and have 14:56 a pacifier hanging out of his mouth. 14:57 And when he would look in my eyes I knew what he was 15:00 saying, he was saying daddy you are my hero and 15:02 I'm going to be just like you when I grow up. 15:04 I used to look back into his eyes sometimes and actually 15:08 burst out crying because I knew that I did not know 15:11 how to keep him from getting into the same trap that my 15:14 grandfathers were in and I was in and my dad, all of us 15:18 were hooked on porn. 15:19 And I knew as I looked him in the eye there was no way 15:21 I could save you from this. 15:22 I don't not help myself and I can't help you son. 15:25 I am not your hero and it would kill me but what 15:29 I've found is that once you learn and you teach 15:33 those principles to your son early he can go 15:36 through his whole life free. 15:37 My son just got married at the age of 23 and he had his 15:42 first kiss with the woman at the altar. 15:44 So you're saying genera- tional things can be broken. 15:50 People will tell you know, they really can't. 15:53 You can manage them but they can't be broken. 15:55 What I have seen is something completely different. 15:59 At one time I had four girlfriends and was sleeping 16:02 with three of them and I was engaged to be married 16:05 to two of them. 16:06 You go from there in just one generation to a guy that 16:10 had his first kiss on his wedding day, 16:13 God can do anything. 16:15 Didn't you just weep? Well not really. 16:17 - because you're a man, did your wife just weep? 16:21 You know we have come to believe so strongly in what God 16:25 can do in this area that it was more of a celebration 16:29 for us, it was like there is our beloved son in whom 16:33 we are well pleased kind of a thing. 16:35 All we could do was just clap with everyone else, 16:38 it was an exciting day. 16:39 Can I ask you something? What I found in my own recovery 16:42 is that I really struggled with trying to do the right 16:46 thing and not fall into temptation and to learn 16:48 something else, to go to another Bible study, or whatever. 16:51 Until I found the Holy Spirit, until I found that part 16:55 of recovery I didn't realize that I could have recovery 16:58 without the struggle and I think there is a change. 17:02 The big change, I know for me and this will sound real 17:05 simple but, I really believe the Scriptures are simple. 17:09 I don't believe that God wanted this whole thing to be 17:12 all that hard, it was hard for Him because He had to 17:15 send His Son to die, but He wanted it easier for us. 17:19 He wanted us to be able to accept Christ, move in and 17:22 He was the who put the Holy Spirit in us so that 17:25 we could walk in the divine nature 17:26 as it says in 1 Peter. 17:28 He wanted to give us life and the power we needed to 17:33 walk like this and I guess for me what that entailed was 17:37 getting tightly connected and it was as simple as this. 17:42 I heard on the radio one day, it was a pastor and he was 17:45 saying he never goes in to prayer without first going 17:49 into worship, I had never heard that before. 17:52 I thought I guess if he could do that I can do that, 17:56 I didn't know really what to expect but it was something 18:00 that he said that made his prayer life more exciting. 18:03 Like more then that he gave him a deeper intimacy with 18:06 God and it was something I really felt I needed. 18:08 So I got a boom box and took it down in the basement that 18:12 first day and took my music down and it was really hard 18:16 at first, I know people laugh and say it's a guy thing 18:19 but for me it really felt goofy. 18:21 To be singing out loud, by myself in the basement walking 18:25 back and forth singing out loud to no one, 18:28 for all intents and purposes of people looking in. 18:31 I remember I would look out the basement window to see 18:34 if anybody was looking in to see what this crazy guy was 18:37 doing and I would look up the stairs to see if my kids 18:40 were looking around because it just felt funny at first. 18:44 I kept saying to myself, I know God has to love this. 18:48 I know I like it, it feels funny but I know it is right. 18:53 The strangest thing was after about three weeks the Lord 18:58 began to show up in ways that He hadn't been. 19:01 We began to have some tremendously romantic times, 19:06 not in the sense we think sexual obviously, 19:08 but just these intimate times where we so having 19:12 such a good time together. 19:14 I began to really understand more and more about who 19:18 He is and what He is made of. 19:20 But for people who never felt that connection with God 19:24 in the sense of He is so present, He is so with me and 19:28 right now understanding exactly where I am and letting me know 19:31 exactly where He is. 19:33 Explain to them how important that is in recovery? 19:38 The reason why it is so in important, it is really hard 19:41 to describe, you have been through it so you know what 19:45 is hard to describe - but it changes everything. 19:48 It does change everything and I can try to use a few 19:50 stories to help explain. 19:52 If you are sitting next to a computer and something 19:57 pops up on the screen, you instantly turn it off and 20:01 go your way because the Lord is so real to you and has 20:06 become so connected to you that it feels like 20:08 adultery to do that. 20:10 Let's say you are walking down and somebody has left 20:13 a Playboy magazine on the top of an ice machine in a 20:17 motel and what happens is you, in the old days, before 20:21 you had that connection with the Lord, you would be 20:24 thinking should I look at this or not look at it. 20:27 Should I save it for later? 20:29 Now you just look at it and go well I have been bought 20:33 at a price, I know who my Lord is and I am connected to 20:38 Him and I will see Him tomorrow morning bright and 20:41 early singing, I don't have a right to look at this. 20:45 The question should I or shouldn't 20:46 I doesn't even make sense anymore. 20:48 There's a transformation of the mind where you are so 20:52 submitted to the Lord once you become connected that 20:55 intimately with Him there is just a mindset that 20:58 changes more than almost anything else. 21:01 At least that's how it feels like to me. 21:03 When I read in the Bible that you're very desires will 21:06 change, I would sit there and think what does He mean by 21:10 that, how is He going to do that? 21:11 Does that mean He is going to change my very desires, 21:14 because I'm so twisted, my background I'm twisted. 21:17 God says one day you will laugh at that because the things 21:20 you get excited about you won't get excited about anymore. 21:24 That is what you are saying, get into an intimate 21:26 relationship to where they don't even draw me anymore. 21:29 The Bible talks about transformation. 21:31 The Bible talks about conforming to the word and it also talks 21:34 about being transformed by the word and really those are 21:38 connected obviously but they are also two different things. 21:41 And I can conform to the word and spent all my life just 21:44 white knuckling it and go into why I don't want to sin 21:47 today - and without the Holy Spirit I think you do that. 21:50 But with the Holy Spirit, as you get intimately involved and 21:53 that comes not just through worship but it comes through 21:56 reading the Bible, comes through the prayer times and 21:59 all the things we normally associate with devotions. 22:03 As that happens, and as that connection deepens that 22:06 transformation of the mind begins to happen and 22:09 you begin to actually have the mind of Christ where 22:11 you actually think like He does. 22:13 Not just because you trained yourself to, 22:17 it just becomes part of who you are. 22:20 That is the part of recovery, that is why if you go to 22:25 let's say more of a secular psychology University or 22:29 whatever, they will teach that you cannot do anything 22:33 but manage your addictions. 22:36 They will say that all away to the bank, but what I found 22:40 is that Christianity has a higher level of what would you 22:44 say, psychology in the sense that God takes your mind and 22:48 just puts a new one in there. 22:50 He transforms it to be like Christ and then you are no 22:54 longer the same person in a sense. 22:56 I don't want to sound too overly mystical or spooky 23:00 about that, you just are. 23:01 What's interesting to me is that unless you experience 23:07 that you don't know how cool it is. 23:09 Like I can while about recovery now and I love to take 23:12 a breath, I love to look around and I love to laugh. 23:15 It is that connection with God and the freedom that 23:19 He gives you it is so cool and I think without the 23:23 Holy Spirit, without the intimacy with Christ 23:26 it's almost like people believe it is going 23:28 to be a dreaded thing. 23:29 Oh I'm going to give up one more thing. 23:31 Do you know what I mean? 23:33 Oh I do understand because I was there. 23:35 When you first decide to fight the battle you're saying 23:39 to yourself - I'm never going to enjoy life again. 23:43 Well yeah, but you find that you hate the results of the 23:46 sin enough that you are willing to make that big brutal 23:49 sacrifice, but fact is once you get into it and you start 23:53 seeing things like things happening you didn't expect. 23:56 Like blessings in a marriage bed with your wife. 23:59 The blessings with your children where you don't have 24:02 to worry about them falling into the same curse of sin. 24:06 Then it's just ridiculous to think about there is some 24:09 kind of sacrifice, because it was no sacrifice at all. 24:13 It's a funny feeling to be able to walk out of a hotel 24:17 room in the morning for me, and to be totally rested by not 24:21 having fought off temptations, or looking at R-rated 24:23 movies all night, it is just a wonderful, wonderful 24:26 freedom. - and even blessings. 24:28 You so blessed me even without knowing it just that you 24:31 were safe if you know what I mean? 24:33 Women just being blessed that I can have a friendship 24:35 with you and not have to worry that it is going to go 24:38 somewhere else so that I have to watch how I say this or 24:41 what I do, I can know that you as a man of God and as 24:44 Brenda's husband, you are just a man of God. 24:47 And it works both ways because for me, what I like is 24:52 being able to go into a group of mixed of men and women 24:56 and they are all the same to me. 24:58 I don't have to worry about she's hot and I better not 25:02 look at her, she is just a person, a fellow heir to 25:06 the kingdom of Christ. 25:07 And again I don't want people to think I'm suddenly 25:12 weird, actually what I all of a sudden am is normal. 25:17 Normal in the way that Christ was normal, the Lord 25:21 would say, the Father would say He was the most normal 25:25 man that ever walked the face of the earth. 25:26 The way that He treated people, the way He moved, the way 25:30 He thought and for us as Christians really our goal, 25:34 we call it sanctification but in some ways, I don't want 25:38 to take this too far, but in some ways what 25:40 sanctification is becoming normal like Christ was. 25:43 Moving towards being more like Him, working out our 25:46 salvation so that we look and practice like we say we are. 25:50 Like the Bible says we should be. 25:53 So 'Tactics', is that basically what 'Tactics' is about? 25:56 Well 'Tactics' is about really helping people connect with 26:00 the Father, first of all I really want to let people 26:04 understand His heart for us. 26:06 Your example of $100 bill is a perfect example. 26:10 I don't use $100 bill, you can put one in my book. 26:14 But I would buy it if you did. - I bet you would. 26:18 I'd buy that hundred dollars for 15 bucks. 26:21 What I want them to understand is that when we fail, 26:25 which a lot of times early in the process when we are 26:29 recovering and walking again in those ways, 26:31 and affirming the word and moving towards transformation, 26:34 and we fail sometimes and we will stumble or trip. 26:37 The first thing I want to do in this book was really help 26:41 people understand His heart towards us, He is not going 26:44 anywhere, He just is not going anywhere. 26:47 Not because He has to not go, He wants to stay with you. 26:51 He's just part of the deal, He loves us that much. 26:54 Then the second part is where it talks about here is His heart 26:58 for us now how do you connect with that heart? 27:00 How do you connect with His heart so that you can have 27:02 that freedom that I talk about? 27:05 Amen, you know I think once I got a clearer picture of 27:10 who God is and what He thinks about me, 27:12 it changed my whole life. 27:14 And not that I knew what to do with the junk, 27:17 the Holy Spirit had to guide me in that. 27:18 It's so changed my life because I thought He really is 27:22 crazy about me, He really does want my best. 27:24 I have another son and his name is Michael and he is 15. 27:27 He is a football player and a couple years ago he came 27:31 to me and said dad - where does he get that from? 27:33 Who knows right! So he comes to me and says dad can you 27:38 teach me how to lift weights? 27:39 Well I had been waiting for that question of course my 27:42 whole life and I said you bet. 27:44 So we began to lift weights together and we began to work 27:48 out and this is actually when he was 13 and in 8th grade. 27:52 So we get to the football season and the first night, 27:57 just before that first game, I told him look there 28:01 is something I need to tell you. 28:03 When you get into this game you are not going to be 28:05 playing against B team players like you do in practice. 28:08 These are going to be A team guys and you should have 28:10 seen the look on his face, like hahhhh. 28:13 Like I hadn't thought of that dad. 28:15 I said don't worry about it because you have everything 28:18 you need inside you and I patted him on the chest. 28:21 You have worked hard, you have lifted weights, and they 28:23 can't take that away from you now you have everything 28:26 you need inside you to own the field to do a good job. 28:29 Well we get out to the game that first night and my wife 28:32 looks across at the other team and says, oh man they are 28:35 bigger than us and she sees this guy number 99. 28:37 I said awe pads will make anyone look big. 28:39 She said no you better go check, I want you to make 28:41 sure they are okay. 28:43 So I went over and this guy was bigger, he's in eighth 28:45 grade and taller than I was. 28:47 This was a big mess, well anyway the game starts and 28:50 guess who lines up against my son Michael, number 99. 28:53 And the whole first quarter they are hitting each other 28:56 like the Discovery channel, grizzly bears in slow motion. 28:59 This is like oh man it's like the war of the worlds. 29:02 Well after the first quarter the other kid number 99, 29:05 was starting to get tired of Michael and you could 29:09 tell his will to win had fallen and Michael stepped up even 29:12 though he was shorter and not as big, he controlled that spot. 29:16 Every game was like that because Michael was late getting 29:19 to puberty and by the fourth game it was getting 29:22 ridiculous, this guy head hairs sprouting out everywhere. 29:25 Guy 99- no this was a different number but he was 29:28 a guerrilla and in that game it was Michael got kicked 29:34 all over the field the first half of the game. 29:36 I can see Brenda saying that is my child. 29:39 He was getting kicked around and as he came off the field 29:43 at the end of the second half he glanced up into the 29:47 stands and I knew what he was wanting to know. 29:50 My dad has been working out with me, my dad has been 29:53 helping me and telling me everything he knows. 29:55 I just got kicked all over the field, 29:57 what does my father think of me? 29:59 He glanced up at me and do you know what I did? 30:01 because you know what he did get kicked 30:08 around the field that night, but you know what? 30:10 Eighth grade is eighth grade, ninth grade is ninth-grade 30:13 any good father knows that and what was my reaction? 30:16 Son you are commitment and that is the important thing. 30:19 You are fighting with everything you have, the next game 30:23 I will tell you some more and we will get out 30:24 there and fight again. 30:26 You see that is our Heavenly Father. 30:28 He is not looking down and going or scowling at you. 30:32 He isn't going to go to someone else to work with from 30:36 then on, no He is with you and smiling. 30:38 It is not that you missed the mark again, but come on 30:41 I'm going to teach you some more and we will win this 30:44 thing by the time you are a senior you will win. 30:47 Like I would say to my son, by the time you are a senior 30:50 you may be all state, but right now you got kicked around 30:53 but you are still my son and I'm not going anywhere. 30:56 If we don't understand that first about the Father, 31:00 He is in this for the long haul. 31:02 He is in is to transform us, He doesn't just want to 31:06 forgive us, that's not where He stops, 31:09 He wants to restore us. -A lot of people stop right there. 31:12 It hurts them in two ways, one of the biggest reason it is 31:15 we just don't get to go fully into full restoration 31:19 because they stop, He's going to forgive me anyway so 31:22 I can keep sinning so everything is fine because 31:25 the blood covers it all. 31:26 Well that is not where God stops, and if you stop there 31:29 you don't get to go to where He wants to take you which 31:31 is into full restoration. 31:33 He didn't come here so that we can limp safely home into 31:37 heaven, no He came here so He can make us Olympic 31:40 champions, He talks about sports in the Bible and being 31:44 like Olympic champions and just lining up to Scripture 31:48 with everything in us and being heroic 31:51 as we talked about earlier. 31:53 If we don't get that picture, we don't get to step into 31:56 that. - because we are the light of the world. 31:58 We are the light of the world and He says we are 32:00 supposed to be shining stars in our dark universe. 32:02 Was Jesus Christ a shining star in His dark universe of 32:06 that day with that culture? Yes! 32:08 If we are walking like Him we will be a shining star 32:12 in this dark universe. 32:13 We are going to break for questions because I know people 32:16 have questions, but Fred I know that you know this. 32:20 I had no idea that it was so cool to be free. 32:23 I had no idea that it is just so cool, that God does not 32:28 want us, like you said stumbling around. 32:30 He does not want us to fight so hard and to work so hard 32:34 at this because He said I won this battle is over. 32:38 I just want to pour that into you and let you bring 32:41 comfort to someone else. 32:43 So we are going to take a break and come back for 32:44 questions and I hope you've been blessed because I have. 32:48 We will be right back. 32:53 Cheri Peters uses the book, 'Coming Of The Comforter' 32:56 as a guide for the second season of Celebrating Life In 33:00 Recovery, written by Lee Roy E. Froom is a 320 page book 33:04 that offers every sinner the knowledge that the 33:06 Holy Spirit is available to all. 33:08 3ABN now offers this book to you for a suggested donation 33:12 of only $13 postpaid within the US. 33:15 Call 3ABN at 618-627-4651 or go online to 3ABN.org. 33:36 You know I just want to say for one thing thank you for 33:39 coming back and we have covered a lot of things. 33:42 Some of them are sensitive issues, and I say sensitive 33:45 but Fred you know what? 33:47 I get so excited about God and who He is and what He is 33:50 capable of doing in our lives that I want to stand on 33:53 the tallest building and say you know what, I don't care 33:56 what your addiction is, God doesn't care what it is. 33:59 He just wants you well and laughing out loud. 34:01 Loving on each other, to jump into this family of God 34:04 and just enjoy life, so that is what I am hoping for you. 34:08 Right now we are going to open it up for questions. 34:10 Does anybody have a question or comment. 34:13 When you ask it just say your name and ask away. 34:19 My name is Sam Tani I would like to ask you Fred, 34:23 or make a comment anyway. 34:27 From my own experience for years of addiction to 34:33 pornographic materials, first thing I had to do was to 34:39 get rid of all the materials from the house. 34:43 If I didn't do that I didn't feel that God could hear me. 34:49 Second, when I was recovering I'm praying to God and 34:58 asking Him to help me get over this feeling. 35:04 You know, even though I was asking God to help me get 35:10 over, someplace in the corner of my heart I was wishing 35:17 to hang on to it. 35:18 Now do you see that as a common thing. 35:23 Do you see my grin? It is a very common thing. 35:27 There is a duality in us as people and we are afraid 35:32 sometimes to give up that thing that we have been leaning 35:36 on and if you really look at what's behind sexual sin, 35:39 you'll see that it is not trust a physical addiction. 35:43 Where we are looking at something and having a chemical 35:46 reaction in our brain that feels good so we want it again. 35:50 There is also some emotional addictions to it where if we 35:54 are under stress we will run to porn to feel that quick 35:58 vacation from the stress. 36:00 If we are really angry, maybe our girlfriend broke up 36:04 with us we will run to porn to show we have control over 36:09 our lives and we are real men. 36:10 There is a lot of issues with that and if we don't have a 36:14 real trust built up in the Lord yet, where it is really 36:17 strong, there is going to be some of that pullback and 36:21 parts of us are going to be saying, not so sure I want 36:25 to get rid of that. 36:26 But the fact of the matter is as we push forward, 36:30 just like my son when I said you had everything inside 36:33 you that you need, you have that strength inside of you. 36:36 The apostle Peter told us we have everything we need 36:39 inside through the power of the Holy Spirit to walk in 36:43 the supernatural divine nature and to escape 36:45 the corruptions of this world. 36:47 We really can do that, but there will be some battles 36:52 first because the flesh is fighting the spirit, 36:54 but I will say it is something that we have the strength 36:58 inside to win if we will simply set our minds and not 37:02 worry so much that that pull is still coming. 37:05 Still press into God and press into the victory. 37:08 Does that help? What I think about just now is that 37:12 I think about when I was smoking. 37:14 I tried to quit smoking and I was dying because I love 37:18 to smoke, but it hurts my lungs. 37:20 It trashes my throat and those things and I think there 37:23 is a real sense in coming out of porn and a lot of our 37:27 addictions is to say God I beg you to let me see the 37:31 destructiveness of this addiction because I know the 37:35 pleasure and the draw. 37:37 I know it creates in me the sense that I need that, 37:39 but give me some insight into the other part of it because 37:43 it is not balanced yet. 37:44 I think the Lord will answer that and give us some of 37:48 that insight, but I know for me really what He wanted me 37:52 to understand is that this is not good for you because 37:58 I say so and for me the reason why He was saying that 38:04 was not so much like our dads would say. 38:06 You're going to do what I say because I said so. 38:09 He was saying that because He made us, 38:11 He knows what's good for us. 38:12 He says look you need to trust Me in this, this is going 38:15 to hurt you and this is hurting you and you need to stop. 38:19 That is really the basis of where we need to get to is 38:23 that we trust Him enough that we understand and the 38:26 second side of that is we understand that sin separates. 38:30 We don't want to be separate from God, like I said 38:33 earlier I don't want to be separate from Him, 38:34 I want to be close to Him and so that aspect of it 38:37 we need to understand as well. 38:39 Does that answer it for you Sam? - yes, perfectly. 38:43 Anything else? - I have another comment. 38:44 Fred says that when he goes to ice machine, if he happens 38:49 to see a Playboy magazine or something he will wonder 38:54 whether he should look at it or leave it alone. 38:57 I got to the point where if I see anything like that, 39:02 I don't want someone else to be tempted so I go and 39:07 throw it away. - Amen, I love that. 39:10 So you have to walk in front of Fred. 39:14 Boy, I'm right with you. 39:17 But isn't that incredible saying I know what a hard 39:20 struggle that is so I don't want anyone else to have to 39:23 struggle with that. That is way cool. 39:26 That just shows your heart. 39:28 Any other comments or questions? 39:30 I have a question, I married a Methodist minister who just 39:37 happen to have problems. 39:39 I met this Methodist minister's son and I am worried 39:47 about my son ever, hereditary like picking up any of those 39:54 habits or becoming sick with this type of disease. 40:01 I can tell you that from my own experience that there is a 40:07 spiritual component to this. 40:09 I can just tell you a quick story, sometimes I would find 40:14 myself in the very act of lusting and looking at these 40:18 things, even masturbating. 40:20 It would be early on Sunday mornings where I would be 40:23 looking at lingerie ads in the Sunday morning ad inserts. 40:26 There were many times where my wife would suddenly awake 40:30 upstairs and I would hear her rush out of bed and rush 40:34 downstairs and I would quick put everything away. 40:37 She would come in, Fred, Fred I had the worst nightmare 40:42 I was in this room and it was dark and Satan was there 40:45 and I was running down all the hallways and looking 40:48 into every room looking for you to protect me and 40:51 I couldn't find you. I couldn't find you! 40:53 Where were you? And she would fall down into 40:55 my arms crying hysterically. 40:58 I knew where I had been I had been nowhere near her. 41:03 One of the things I learned through that was that as I'm 41:07 in involved in sexual sin I am compromising my spiritual 41:11 authority over my home. 41:12 I knew that was going on and it was one of the things 41:16 that really drove me in the other direction. 41:19 One of the things we know is that with the enemy involved, 41:23 as he captures the one that is in charge, he has also 41:31 a foothold into that home. 41:33 What I found in my life was that until I stood up and 41:37 said no, this far and no farther. 41:40 Until I stood up and I drove the stake in the ground and 41:44 said this far and no farther, before this the name 41:47 Stoeker meant corruption, pornography, drunkenness, 41:50 alcoholism or what ever, but from this day forward 41:53 the name Stoeker is going to mean purity. 41:56 Holiness, heroism, and until I made that decision 42:00 Satan really had his way in my home. 42:03 - he had permission to come in. 42:05 - he had permission to come in and once I took all 42:07 that permission away he couldn't do that. 42:11 One of the things I found, which has been an amazing 42:14 thing to me, I never expected this. 42:17 I should have expected it from reading the Bible but I 42:20 didn't, what I found is that my children have grown in 42:25 purity in my home, and that generational curse snapped 42:28 when I stood up and drove that stake in the ground. 42:31 They have naturally grown in purity in spite of the fact 42:35 that they go to public school, they live in America which 42:39 is a very sensual culture, and somehow because we broke 42:43 that curse and my wife and I teamed up to teach these 42:46 principles to our kids, they have grown up holy. 42:49 You know when you say that I want to say ow not somehow, 42:52 God honored your choice and I love that. 42:54 And I know that you met that and I just want to say, 42:57 God honored your choice and for anybody listening because 43:02 I know because of the show before there are a lot of 43:04 people listening that God will break generational curses 43:07 and all that generational stuff when you make the 43:11 choice and say no more, no more. 43:13 That's exactly it, but amazing thing for me was that 43:17 there was a time during that time I was deciding am I 43:20 going to fight this battle or not? 43:22 Am I going to drive a stake into the ground or not, 43:24 that the Lord spoken to my heart, it wasn't audible or 43:27 anything, but He spoke very clearly into my heart. 43:29 He said something that I had to respond to. 43:32 He said, are you going to be the one that drives this 43:36 stake into the ground, or are you going to leave it for 43:40 a better man than you somewhere down the line? 43:42 He didn't say it in a mean way, He didn't say it in 43:46 a challenging way, He just asked me a question. 43:51 I couldn't face having to leave that to my sons or my 43:55 grandsons, I have to do this and that is when 44:00 I stood up and it was at that point okay I'm in Father, 44:05 I'm going to be about your business in this deal. 44:08 That's when everything began to break and there was a 44:12 time shortly, it had to be a few years down the line, 44:16 when my son was in junior high and I talked 44:18 to him about porn and the dangers of it and how 44:20 it affects you like cocaine. 44:22 Three weeks later his friends brought porn to school 44:25 for the first time, he told me that much of the story 44:29 and I was just petrified, thinking what did he do? 44:32 Will he be like every other Stoeker, so what did you do? 44:37 He said well I walked away like you said dad. 44:39 I say could the cracks before forming in this wall? 44:45 Will this generational wall fall? It has! It has! 44:50 I love that, I really love that. 44:52 Pastor Richard do you have a question? 44:54 Yes I do, I actually have two of them. 44:56 One is that I have two children, a nine-year-old daughter, 44:59 and a 7-year-old son. 45:01 You spoke up about the generational, how safe is it 45:06 for us to start educating when it comes to sexual correctness 45:10 if I could use that term? 45:12 I guess that would be the best way I can put it, how safe 45:18 is it for us to already start him at seven or nine? 45:21 If he saw that stuff. 45:22 Yeah that's what I'm referring to. 45:23 Yeah well what I've found is that first of all statistics 45:27 show 50% of American boys see their first pornography 45:31 before the age of 11. 45:33 So one thing we need to understand is that we need to 45:36 get to this issue fairly early in their lives. 45:40 I really started with my girls and boys 45:42 at around 10 or 11, but a lot of people ask if they can 45:46 go earlier and I think if we go on a factual basis, 45:50 a simple basis on their age I think that's a good thing. 45:53 Somebody says if they're asking a question answer it 45:57 factually not so much with sensuality in it but 46:01 just factually, when they are asking about where 46:05 baby comes from tell them. 46:07 We know from brain development anyway that kids have 46:11 a tough time doing any abstract thinking until 46:13 the ages of 11 or 12 anyhow. 46:15 It is really during that time frame that they really 46:18 start understanding themselves in relation to others 46:20 sexually, in any way that they can comprehend 46:24 and processed properly. 46:26 I'm not saying they can't have sex earlier than that 46:28 because they can, that is a warping time for them 46:31 to go through that at that time. 46:33 You told a story one time on one of your previous 46:36 interviews about your son and Victoria Secrets. 46:39 Talk about that, because we really need to educate 46:42 our kids because they are going to see stuff. 46:45 And that is exactly why we need to start earlier. 46:47 I was working on book deadline so my wife was getting 46:51 tired of all that and she was just wanting to get the 46:53 kids out and went to a mall with my two daughters and 46:56 son Michael that I talked about earlier. 46:58 He was 11 at the time, maybe 10. 47:00 They got home that night and I heard all the packages 47:05 clunk on the floor, I was in the basement and I knew 47:09 they all had a great time. 47:10 What I came to find out later is that as the two girls 47:15 ran upstairs to play, Michael hugged my wife from behind. 47:19 She turned around and said Michael I love you too. 47:22 She really didn't know where it was coming from. 47:25 He looked her in the eye and asked her this question. 47:28 Mom how do you get pictures of women in their underwear 47:31 out of your head? 47:32 Of course she answered like any woman would, that's 47:36 a good question for your dad. - ask your dad. 47:40 Before you go tell me what kind of pictures 47:43 are you talking about? 47:44 She was completely confused, he was a boy that really 47:47 didn't know a girl from a bale of hay at the time. 47:49 He wasn't interested in girls on that level and 47:52 he certainly wasn't out looking to lust. 47:55 So what he said was this, we were walking down the Mall 47:59 today and walking by that secret store, he called it. 48:04 We all know that means Victoria Secrets. 48:06 He said I glanced into that window and I haven't been 48:09 able to get those pictures out of my mind all day. 48:12 Meaning those views of those women in their underwear. 48:16 The fact is that we know from research that when a man 48:20 looks at something sensual, there is a chemical reaction 48:24 I spoke of earlier and it locks that image into 48:26 his brain forever and he was for the first time 48:29 experiencing that in a way that 48:31 he can articulate to someone else. 48:33 It was just a natural thing, now one of the things 48:36 I like to say about that is this. 48:38 If it is true we are built this way, we cannot afford to 48:41 attach shame to this whole issue. 48:43 This was a young guy, he is a spiritual young guy and 48:47 was walking down the Mall not paying attention glanced 48:50 up and boom that happens. 48:52 We need to understand if we don't teach our son's early 48:55 about this - and our daughters. - and our daughters. 48:57 But if we don't teach them early about this they are 49:00 going to just by naturally walking through a central 49:02 society they are going to get hooked on these things, 49:04 so two things I would say. 49:07 First of all we cannot attach shame to this, all young 49:10 men, all young women as they grow they have to learn to 49:14 get their sexuality under control. 49:17 They have to learn to own their sexuality as opposed to 49:20 their sexuality owning them, that's just a natural part 49:23 of growing up, no shame to that just some they have to do. 49:25 So with your son you literally sat down and 49:28 taught him some things. 49:29 I taught him about the eyes and how the eyes work. 49:32 That's exactly what happens son, you glanced up and the 49:35 chemical reaction hit and you couldn't get it out of your mind 49:37 and I taught him how to guard his eyes 49:38 and talk to him about a few of those principles. 49:41 So what I would say it is not only do we need to not 49:44 attach shame to it but to recognize it as a part of 49:47 growing up as a Christian boy to learn how to guard his 49:50 eyes, but he needs to have a father and a mother, 49:53 and the girl needs to have a father and a mother talking 49:56 to them and showing them, if somebody doesn't teach them 49:59 they are going to naturally look, and naturally have that 50:02 reaction and naturally get hooked. 50:04 It's like falling off a log it won't be hard and 50:06 they will be doing it on purpose and 50:07 little by little get ensnared. 50:09 That is why we need to start early. 50:12 To me another thing that's interesting about that if nobody 50:17 teaches me a standard or what is right, then I'll 50:20 never know when I am deviating from that standard. 50:23 So I think it really equips us when somebody says this 50:27 is how cool it is, this is the gift that God has given 50:31 us and this is who we are and how to guard yourself. 50:35 I think the earlier, I was bad because with my past 50:39 Jackie is like six months old and I said Hon, 50:42 so you really do want to be age-appropriate. 50:46 I think should not be ashamed or afraid or shame 50:49 someone but do it as early as that child can and as 50:53 they are asking questions. 50:54 Exactly, and of course he was asking a question, 50:56 how do you get those pictures out of your head? 50:58 Well okay let's talk about that I think it is important 51:01 like you said standards are important to be set. 51:05 Really the word of God has given to us for that purpose. 51:08 Paul told us that if the word hadn't been given to us none 51:11 of us would know what was right or wrong. 51:12 And God first of all needed to help us know what was 51:15 right or wrong so we can understand what not to do 51:18 to fall into these kinds of traps. 51:20 The word can help and tell us in a lot of ways, 51:23 as I mentioned earlier about the Scripture in 1 Peter 51:26 talking about the fact that we have everything inside of us 51:30 that we need to win. 51:31 I think it is really important for us to understand that 51:34 truth, one thing I want to be clear of is that I am not 51:38 talking about anything magical here, mystical or 51:41 anything like that, but fact is the Lord has simply 51:44 given us the Holy Spirit that will speak to us, 51:47 guide us and we need to under stand that we have what we need. 51:51 The only reason I bring that up is that we don't have to 51:55 fear, we don't have to fear like my son did that I don't 51:58 have the strengths to block this number 99. 52:00 We have all we need to block off the enemy, to put the 52:05 principles in place and to follow the rules to walk in 52:08 God's ways, we can do it that it's all God is saying. 52:12 The Bible is so fun when it says resist the devil and 52:16 he will flee from you, he has to run from you. 52:18 So as I got that understanding is that with the Holy 52:22 Spirit, with God, all the power and the victory is here and 52:26 I just have to say okay what do I do right now because 52:29 right now I feel like I'm going to fall and God can 52:31 educate me in the devil flees. 52:33 I have victory again in every victory gives me a little 52:37 bit stronger legs. - yes it really does. 52:39 How cool is that? 52:40 I've seen it over and over again, I've been amazed at how 52:43 true the Scripture is and we really need to see Scripture 52:47 as truth because the more we believe it, that the more we can 52:51 expand our minds in understanding what is possible. 52:53 - and live free. - yes. 52:55 You have one more question. - yes I do. 52:57 This one I do get quite a bit, I have a lot of youth 53:00 leaders that are calling me asking me how do we address 53:03 this issue in their youth study group's. 53:06 The youths are saying listen the psychologists are 53:11 telling us that this practice of self stimulating is 53:16 safe for us and we can do this at night and it is 53:20 actually good for us. 53:21 How do we really approach this situation, especially 53:25 within the youth context when we have an authority like 53:29 that saying that it is good and we know beyond a shadow 53:32 of a doubt that it is not. 53:34 Even psychology books and those kind of things is that 53:37 people from all over are staying it is no big deal. 53:41 And that is true and if you want to do this sort of 53:44 thing with the self stimulation you are going to look 53:47 for the authorities that will give the okay. 53:49 A lot of times they are going to want to look at them 53:52 but the fact of the matter is when we look at 53:55 the research and what is going on with it these days, 53:58 I don't think you can clearly say that it is good at all. 54:01 As a matter of fact I talk about that a lot of my book, 54:05 'Tactics' what I'm finding as I looking around that 54:08 self stimulation does becomes very habitual. 54:12 It starts to happen more and more often and what tends 54:16 to happen is that it changes your sexuality over time 54:20 where your focus begins to be more upon the intensity of 54:24 the experience sexually as opposed to the passage of 54:28 intimacy and what God designed it to be for. 54:31 So yes you can say that today maybe it is not going to 54:36 hurt you in a visible way and people are going to go ahh 54:40 I know what you just did or whatever else. 54:43 You may not notice it as it happens over time but there 54:47 is a very clear change in male sexuality when they get 54:51 involved in these practices and it completely changes the 54:55 way they view women and the way they view their sexuality, 55:00 and how they view their partners experience, pleasure. 55:05 And women too because as a woman I can say the things that 55:09 we think about, but things that go through your mind when 55:12 you are self stimulating are usually a little twisted. 55:15 They are about other people, they are about other 55:18 situations you or someone else and who you disassociate 55:21 from what is real and you become addicted to the event or 55:24 the pleasure that you are getting and Satan will get you. 55:27 Satan will get you in a way that it doesn't feel like it is 55:30 harmful and pretty soon you're locked in to an addiction. 55:33 Exactly and 'Every Young Man's Battle', we actually do 55:36 six whole chapters on this topic. 55:38 The whole point is the Lord said that when we even 55:42 look at a woman with lust it is sin and we know that 55:45 sin corrupts and it breaks us down over time. 55:48 She is right too from the standpoint of what you are 55:51 thinking about, it is a corrupting thing obviously and 55:54 changes again the way we look at women. 55:56 We don't look to them as fellow heirs of the kingdom 55:59 of grace anymore, we look at them as an interesting 56:01 collection of body parts. - for our pleasure. 56:05 That's right. - that's for men or women. 56:06 Absolutely it goes both ways, in fact it is going more 56:09 and more both ways these days. 56:10 I've seen some things I never thought I would see. 56:13 I was at Bible school, not too long ago when 56:14 they did a survey of the student body before I came 56:17 in to speak for a weekend. 56:19 They found that 100% of the guys were looking at porn 56:22 regularly now was involved in self stimulation. 56:25 87% of the girls on that campus, it was a Bible school, 56:29 were involved in looking at porn regularly. 56:32 I couldn't believe my ears. 56:34 I want to say first of all we are at the close of the show 56:38 and I think you for joining us, but I want to say that 56:42 a lot of times we are so afraid of saying these things 56:46 out loud and I think that is the devil himself. 56:49 When we say them out loud it gives us the ability for 56:52 maybe the first time to look at what is right, what is 56:56 normal, what actually is good for us and what is going 56:59 to bring us to a right relationship with each other and 57:02 especially with people we love. 57:04 But the devil has us quiet and I'm thinking don't be quiet. 57:08 When you talk about a school, a Bible school and 100% 57:11 of the males and 87% of the women have been involved in 57:15 some kind of sexual thing, I think somebody 57:17 needs to talk to them. 57:18 I want to say the next time you go, I want to go with you 57:20 I'll talk to the guys, I'll talk with the girls, 57:24 you talk to the guys. 57:25 We have covered a lot of things on this show. 57:29 We have covered sexual addiction and coming out of that 57:31 impurity and the fact that God wants us to be free. 57:34 If you are struggling with this I'm telling you there is 57:38 so much hope and there is a way out. 57:42 There is a direction out and if you have to get a hold 57:45 of Fred, get his book 'Tactics', 57:47 get 'Every Young Man's Battle' and 'Every Woman's Battle' 57:50 by another author, get something. 57:52 Get people around you to keep you accountable and don't be 57:56 locked in this junk, because it never ever will bring you 57:59 to a place of laughing out loud. 58:01 It will never bring you to a place where you will feel 58:03 good about yourself or the people around you. 58:05 God says I want you to have life, I want you to have joy, 58:08 I wanted to be abundant and I want you laughing out loud. 58:11 So that is it for this show, always remember that God is 58:15 crazy about you and know too that we are crazy about you. 58:19 I'm crazy about you and we will see you next time on 58:21 Celebrating Life In Recovery. |
Revised 2014-12-17