Celebrating Life in Recovery

Multi - Guest

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Brackin, Brown, Elledge, Hanna, Porter, Williams


Series Code: CLR

Program Code: CLR000015

00:12 Welcome To Celebrating Life in Recovery, I'm Cheri
00:14 your host. Today is going to be an all girl show.
00:17 It's fun. This is the first part of the new season so
00:21 we are going to cover as much as we possible can. Come join us.
00:50 We're going to do to show a little bit different today.
00:52 We are going to have the guests on first, and interview
00:56 her first, but before we go there this is the first show
00:59 of the second season and we're going to talk about.
01:02 Well let me tell you about last season in case
01:04 you hadn't seen the show I'm going to kind of recap.
01:07 As we went through Steps To Christ we talked about the
01:09 basics of recovery, and when I say basics I don't mean
01:13 basics as far as not important or lightweight I'm talking
01:16 about the foundation of recovery.
01:18 We talked about when I first heard there was a God that
01:22 created the entire universe, everything and that God is
01:26 crazy about me, it changed me.
01:28 That God spoke the world into existence and said something
01:31 and everything that existed, I thought He could speak life
01:35 into me, He can re-create in me all the damage that has been
01:38 done and I was just thrilled.
01:40 I wish I could tell you exactly how thrilled I was,
01:43 but it was unbelievable to know that.
01:45 Then I realized that Christ is my Savior,
01:48 and I definitely need a Savior I'm so twisted.
01:50 I wish I could say that in a different way but everything
01:54 about me was twisted.
01:55 I didn't know how to act, I didn't know how to eat with
01:58 someone, I was socially under- developed, I had insecurities,
02:01 and molest issues, and heroin addiction and homelessness
02:04 and all that stuff.
02:05 So then somebody said that Christ died for you and will
02:10 equip you to get through all of this stuff, you just need
02:13 to accept that. I'm like, I'm there, I accept it.
02:16 Then we talked about prayer and faith and repentance.
02:20 Being sorry enough to walk away from something, and not
02:23 sorry because you got busted, we are sorry about that
02:26 stuff, but not sorry for that reason.
02:28 Not sorry because I am in jail, I'm strung out or
02:30 whatever, but sorry because I understand what my addiction
02:34 and what my behavior has done to the people around me.
02:36 The damage that I am causing not only to myself
02:40 but to other people.
02:41 Being able to look at God and say, I do want to change.
02:44 I want something different, so we talked about all that
02:47 stuff, we talked about growing up in Christ and really
02:51 getting a trust relationship with God so that
02:54 I can surrender these things.
02:55 Because some of the things that I really had in my life,
02:59 some of the things that I dealt with, were so dark and so
03:02 twisted is the only word, so much junk that I was afraid
03:09 to even bring them out.
03:10 So I had to get into a trust relationship with God that
03:13 I could bring these things out.
03:14 So that is the foundation, and now we are going to talk
03:18 about this season, the baptism of the Holy Spirit,
03:20 and being filled with the Holy Spirit, and actually have
03:23 a victory over all this junk.
03:25 All these addictions, and when I say addictions please
03:27 don't misunderstand me, I don't mean drug addictions only.
03:30 I mean to depression, anger, criticism, perfectionism,
03:33 stealing, gambling, sex addictions, and definitely drugs
03:37 alcohol and all that kind of stuff.
03:39 Hidden addictions that we have, religious addictions,
03:40 I'm talking about all of it.
03:42 Because if it is going to trash you, and sometimes just
03:46 being insecure, just not having a good foundation being
03:50 given to you as a child, that causes addictive behaviors,
03:53 or protection, or walls or a defense mechanism to come up
03:57 that interfere with our ability to just enjoy life.
04:01 Just be right with ourselves, with the people around us
04:05 and with God, so we are going to talk about all that.
04:07 It is the best thing because once you get that,
04:10 and I always tell people that if you get this, you will
04:13 have joy. You'll have joy and the ability to live a life
04:18 that most people will say You know what?
04:20 I want what you have.
04:21 I want to introduce you first of all to my friend Misti,
04:23 Misti Brackin. And I want to say thank you so much
04:25 for coming and being on the show Misti.
04:28 - you're welcome.
04:29 We met because of being invited by your husband because of
04:34 his brother, so first of all tell that story.
04:37 That was pretty heavy for me.
04:38 Well first of all I read your book, I don't know if you
04:43 remember but I called you, I was going to order a lot of
04:45 books for the women in my church and you answered.
04:47 I didn't expect you to answer, and you were talking about
04:50 just getting back from a trip and you said that the Lord was
04:53 there and the Holy Spirit was there and it was great to
04:55 see all these things happening.
04:56 I just said what does it take to get you
04:59 to come talk to us?
05:00 And Coles brother had just died, my husband's brother had
05:04 just died - oh but wait a minute because he hadn't died
05:06 yet, - probably not one I talk to you that day.
05:08 By the time you came the first time he did.
05:11 What is really interesting is that when you called me,
05:13 one of the reasons to come to speak in Oklahoma City was
05:16 to talk and hopefully talk with his brother. - yes.
05:19 That is right, that is right and then by the time I think
05:23 that was in February and your scheduled didn't allow you to
05:25 come until November, and it was in the summer time of July
05:29 that his brother passed away from meth addiction.
05:31 Then you came and ministered to Cole over that and it was
05:36 just a blessing, it was God's plan for us to meet you
05:41 and to get to know you.
05:42 Oh it's really interesting to me and sad is that with his
05:46 brother, he was so lost in his meth addiction that
05:50 he literally went out to wash his car, how hot was it?
05:55 It was probably over 100° that day.
05:58 100°, he was high on meth and went out to wash his car
06:01 and literally fried himself.
06:03 In a manic state he always did everything, I mean if
06:07 you gave him a job, he would do in such a way that
06:11 you would want him to come back and do it again because
06:13 it was a manic state, he went out to clean his car and
06:17 cleaning the toolbox because he had a pick up and
06:19 he was cleaning the tools and was out there sweating
06:22 and overheated and really that is what did it.
06:26 He came inside after being in the sun for several hours
06:29 and went into cardiac arrest and that was it.
06:32 He was dead before they got to the hospital.
06:36 When I heard that I thought that was the saddest thing,
06:38 because I know, like I know that Cole's hope was that
06:42 somebody would intervene because he loved his brother.
06:45 And you loved him, so it was like I knew that had we come
06:50 earlier, could something had happened?
06:51 Then I let that go because only God knows that.
06:54 But my heart was like, oh man, but we came anyway.
06:58 We got to hang out with you guys and minister definitely
07:02 to Cole because he just lost his brother.
07:04 An entire community with meth, because I think what
07:09 happened with you guys is that the issue was huge and
07:13 you wanted to actually help somebody else,
07:15 can we help somebody else?
07:16 You know what is really interesting to me is the more
07:21 our relationship grew the more I realized that there
07:26 were some other issues going on.
07:27 You had talked about that one night, so share a little
07:30 bit about your background.
07:32 Well the night you are talking about, I think its was about
07:36 the third time may be that you had come to Oklahoma and
07:38 you stayed at my house always.
07:41 I had been having a lot of issues with family, just a lot
07:46 of hurt feelings and I would come home from being with
07:51 family and I would pray about it and have all these
07:53 bitter feelings because it kept building inside of me.
07:56 I had bitter feelings and I would pray about it and I might
07:58 get relief from it for a short time, but the next time
08:02 I was around the same family members and things would
08:05 happen that would hurt me, it was all still there.
08:07 You know what's interesting to me as you explained it,
08:10 you had all this confidence in who you were and who
08:13 you are as a mother, a wife and a woman of God and then
08:16 you would be around family and it will be gone.
08:18 It would be gone. - I would be going like what happened?
08:21 No-confidence, uncomfortable in my own skin in their
08:25 presence, and this had been going on for 13 years or so.
08:28 A longtime and so I think the night that you were there,
08:33 I know something happened that morning with the family
08:35 phone call, and I don't know if you knew it all day but
08:38 I felt just devastated all day.
08:40 We had actually went to juvenile prison and done some
08:44 cool things, - that was a cool day. - it was, it was.
08:47 Inside I felt devastated and when we got home there were
08:50 several people staying in my home and everybody was
08:53 eating because everybody was hungry and I think I went
08:55 over by myself and I looked up and it was just you and I.
08:59 I know that God arranged that.
09:02 So we started talking and as we got into the conversation,
09:05 I started sharing a little bit about what some of the
09:09 things that hurt me, and I really thought you were going
09:11 to say, I'm so sorry they are really bad people.
09:17 Instead you said, that's you that's your junk.
09:22 And I said, no, no, no. - that's not me did
09:28 you not hear me? - no it's them, it's not me.
09:31 You said no, this is yours and I remember thinking in my
09:35 mind, you know I had a really abusive Father but I've
09:40 forgiven him, and I really felt like I had.
09:42 It had been a period of time that I hated my Father.
09:45 There were times in my childhood I've wanted him to die
09:48 I would even fantasize how I can help that happen.
09:52 Talk about who he is that you would want that.
09:56 What kind of things did he do?
09:57 He was not usually physically abusive, there were times
10:01 when he did get that way, but the emotional, mental,
10:04 and verbal abuse was beyond what, I don't even know
10:07 if I can describe how bad it was.
10:10 - how hateful he was? - umhumm!
10:12 Was he drunk? - no. - did he drink? - no.
10:15 So there was nothing you could say, it was just alcohol.
10:18 No, no. - he was just mean? - he was mean.
10:21 You walked on eggshells around him, I've got where I tried to
10:25 avoid him and when I came home from school and go straight
10:27 to my bedroom and shut the door, which just drove him crazy.
10:29 So dinnertime will come, and every time it was time for
10:34 dinner he would end up in this huge fight and screaming
10:37 match and I didn't even want to come to the table.
10:40 So he would come barging into my room and yanked me out
10:43 of the room, you are going to come to the table when
10:46 I call you. - he loved to embarrass you? - yes, yes.
10:51 Any time I had friends over there would be a huge blow
10:55 up and he would always be the cause of it.
10:57 There was just so many things that he, and I know I had
11:03 to build the wall as a young child so I didn't feel all
11:07 that because it was so much pain.
11:10 You know what's interesting as you were talking to me,
11:13 and as you were sharing all this stuff, the only thing
11:16 I could see is that for your whole life you are trying to
11:21 get people to act right and be right and you be right.
11:24 He was like all left over from your Father.
11:27 Because he would even do, it seems like he just
11:31 constantly was at you to get a reaction. - always.
11:37 There were three of us, my older sister and my younger
11:41 brother and I was in the middle.
11:42 I was the one he could always get a reaction out of.
11:46 I was the one that had, I don't know if you want to
11:48 call it a feistier side or he could get
11:51 a huge reaction out of me.
11:52 My sister learned how to go along with it in his presence
11:55 so that it didn't blow up. - did it not bother her?
11:59 Oh yeah, but she was able to stay quiet so that it didn't
12:03 get as bad as what it would do if she said something back.
12:06 I just couldn't do it, I had so much anger and hatred for
12:10 him inside that I could not do it.
12:13 She would take me into the bedroom and say don't you know
12:15 if you just be quiet it would be over sooner.
12:17 - it's not fair. - I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it
12:19 there was too much inside of me that would allow me
12:23 to not do that.
12:25 This child that was yelling it's not fair, about your
12:27 father, I saw you even with your new family yelling the
12:31 same thing, it's not fair, and being lost there,
12:34 stuck there. - go ahead.
12:37 But with the new family, not my immediate family, not my
12:42 husband and little girls, were talking extended family.
12:45 - how do you say that nice? But everybody knows.
12:51 Ya I didn't even have enough self-esteem to stand up for
12:54 myself. - right. - I felt myself trying harder and harder
12:58 trying to please them more and more and more.
13:01 There was never, I never pleased them.
13:03 The more I tried it seems the less respect I got and the more
13:07 hurt I would get.
13:08 I pray that somebody is listen- ing to me out there because
13:11 I think what is really amazing is that I'm looking at this
13:15 beautiful woman, I'm looking at a woman that is successful
13:17 in every way, and has a family that loves her like crazy,
13:21 that is locked in this junk.
13:22 I'm thinking, man, you just need to heal.
13:26 And I'm thinking I don't have anything to heal from.
13:29 So what is really funny is I thought there is no way
13:33 we are going to break this tonight, so I had a book that
13:35 a friend of mine wrote called the 'Baptism of the Holy Spirit'
13:38 'Holy Spirit In Healing'. It's an amazing book.
13:41 I had just got baptized in the Holy Spirit, I had just
13:45 surrendered all my stuff to God and said, God fill me
13:48 up, I'm done with the struggle, I'm done with fighting
13:51 this and I want to go be free from this that my life will be
13:56 a life of joy, complete victory.
13:58 I was so living in that and I'm looking at
14:00 you thinking, ah you have got to read this.
14:02 You've got to get this, and as I'm saying it, you are
14:05 looking at me like, it is that?
14:07 I was, I think before we talked to till late, like three
14:13 in the morning or so, it was late before we went to bed.
14:16 I think before you went to bed I think you had convinced
14:19 me I needed to look at myself, but I had no idea where to
14:23 look, I was clueless and you left these books with me.
14:25 I didn't even read the books. - I'm calling her on the
14:29 phone, Misti, did you read the books yet?
14:32 I knew she didn't because she be going like well you know.
14:36 I'm like, you have got to read them, you have got to read
14:38 them and she would tell me something else she was doing
14:39 that was fabulous, and I would think read the book.
14:42 Because everything in me knows that when somebody is
14:46 dealing with issues, especially childhood issues,
14:48 dysfunction, addiction or any of that stuff, when you get
14:51 the fact that God does not want you to be lost in that.
14:54 When you get the fact that there is a way out,
14:56 there is a hope that wields up in you and
14:59 and walls start coming down.
15:00 I knew that you would get that, and I'm thinking okay.
15:02 So when did you - well I think you were there in October
15:05 and it wasn't until the following July, I don't remember
15:08 the incident that happened that made me go get those
15:11 books, but something else with the family that hurt my
15:14 feelings really bad. - where is that book?
15:16 I was so tired of this, I'm so tired I can't take it
15:20 anymore, I've tried to please them for so long and I
15:24 can't do it, I can't take this anymore so I went and dug
15:26 the books out, and I think there is five in the series.
15:29 I picked up one of the books and I flipped it open to
15:32 a chapter called Experiencing God's Love,
15:34 and I started reading.
15:35 I don't even know why did start at the beginning,
15:39 I just flipped it open and started reading.
15:40 The Chapter Experiencing God's Love, it talks about
15:43 having these wounds as children and how profoundly
15:47 they affect your life.
15:49 The man that wrote the book he even talks about actually
15:52 giving God the opportunity to show him.
15:54 God I know I have this issue, I don't know where
15:57 they stem from, but he prayed, show me what they are.
16:00 And God did, and in the book it talks about how
16:04 he cried so hard, it was like a cleansing cry and
16:06 it came from his soul, deep soul wound.
16:08 He wasn't even aware it was there until God showed him.
16:13 So I thought I'm going to do it, I don't know what it is
16:17 and I can think of so many things that if I go back into
16:19 the intellectual mind that happened that might be it.
16:22 I could go back and think, and think well yeah hurt but.
16:27 But I wasn't in touch with, it's because it was buried. - so deep
16:32 So deep that it takes a Holy Spirit to bring it out.
16:34 So I began praying - and the better we are, the smarter
16:38 we are, we are so good at burying that stuff, we really
16:43 are good and we don't even know how many walls we have
16:46 put up, how far we have buried it to the extent that I buried
16:49 it, I don't feel it anymore, I don't feel the pain, but
16:51 I also don't feel joy and I'm not connected with life.
16:54 It's like this huge thing that I am separate, and God is
16:57 just, I think God is in heaven just screaming,
17:00 I don't want you to live like that.
17:01 That is not what victory feels like, and most of us can
17:04 live like that and look great.
17:06 Right, right! And that is what I had been doing, but
17:09 inside I had so many things that made me unhappy and made
17:12 me just not the person that God wanted me to be.
17:17 So I began to pray, I think really I was praying,
17:21 I was serious with God now, I'm tired of living this way
17:24 and now I am serious with Him.
17:26 I just began to pray, what ever it is Lord,
17:28 what ever causes me to feel like I need to please them,
17:30 what ever causes me to feel not good enough,
17:32 I want to know what it is.
17:33 So I began praying, it was probably no more than about
17:38 two weeks, and this is funny how God will bring this up.
17:41 Because when you give Him permission, and you give Him
17:43 access to the deep parts of your heart.
17:45 Cole I were eating at a Mexican restaurant and he ordered
17:51 spinach enchiladas and I remembered, I was four years old
17:56 and I remembered a story about my dad trying to force
17:59 me to eat spinach.
18:01 I felt this piercing in my heart, and I thought than
18:05 I wonder if that is what I have been praying for?
18:07 Because that was kind of how he explained in the book
18:09 that it happened to him.
18:10 You literally felt a physical - a physical piercing
18:13 through my heart, it was not just a hurt my feelings,
18:15 it was an ah, take your breath away.
18:17 So I was in a restaurant with my little girls and
18:21 I thought I was going to put that aside and not think
18:23 about this and the next day in my prayer time,
18:26 of course God just brings it flooding back.
18:28 Now this is the interesting part, this is how we are so
18:31 disconnected with what is really going on inside of us.
18:34 If I would have told you the story about my dad trying
18:37 to force me to eat spinach, he was brutal with me.
18:39 I was literally gagging over this spinach and he is
18:42 trying to force me to eat it.
18:44 I remembered this whole story already, and when I told
18:48 you the story I would have said, isn't my dad just a jerk?
18:50 Isn't he just awful? But that day God took me back to
18:55 that spot, I literally was sitting at the kitchen table
18:57 again, remembering as a little girl.
19:00 I am watching my dad be so brutal with me, and I remember
19:04 and this hits my soul every time I tell it.
19:07 And there is more, we usually have more than one really
19:10 deep wound, but I remember him being so brutal,
19:14 I remember tears streaming down my face and I remember
19:16 looking to my mother to help me.
19:18 She was laughing, now I don't know maybe
19:23 she was laughing because he was making such an idiot
19:25 out of himself, I don't know.
19:27 But I perceived that she was laughing at my pain.
19:31 So that day I came to believe, see this is where our
19:36 identity was stolen. God wants us to have that identity
19:39 we are His children, He loves us and He would have died if
19:41 we were the only ones.
19:43 He gives us parents to reinforce that identity and to
19:46 teach us how valuable we are, to love us unconditionally.
19:48 But our parents are human, even if we have wonderful,
19:53 perfect parents in our eyes, they are still humans and
19:56 full of sin. - they've been damaged.
19:59 And they have been damaged, and my mother came from an
20:02 abusive home, and it probably didn't even register to her
20:04 that this was abusive behavior because that was what
20:07 she had been conditioned to, that was where she grew up.
20:10 But at that moment, this child made a decision about
20:14 the world and how she was going to live her life for
20:17 the rest of your life.
20:18 Yes I believed at that moment that I was not even worth,
20:21 I was not worth enough in my mother's eyes to save me
20:24 from that kind of abuse. I must not be worth very much.
20:28 And so I believe that from that day forward I had to work
20:32 extra hard to be liked, I had to work extra hard to be
20:36 loved, that I could never, I was a people pleaser because
20:40 if I would ever say no, then someone might not think
20:45 I was good, someone would think I was nice
20:46 but not think I was good.
20:48 If I could get everyone around me to think I was okay,
20:50 then I could glean some sort of self worth out of that.
20:52 Does that make sense? - yes, but you know what makes
20:55 sense about that is when you started sharing some of
20:57 that with me is that I thought, you know what?
20:59 The devil has so convinced you of that, and you are
21:03 working so hard at that, that no one gets to enjoy who
21:06 Misti is, and I knew that you were fabulous.
21:09 Do you know what I mean? I'm not saying that in a vanity
21:12 way, I just knew you were fabulous, and fun,
21:14 and I loved hanging out with you.
21:16 I looked at you and new that you didn't get to
21:19 experience any of that.
21:20 It is so painful to have our identity stolen, and that is
21:23 the devil's plan to do this, and he can do it so well.
21:26 Usually I think it is through parents, but it can be
21:28 through any authority figure in your life. - right.
21:30 At any time in your life. - At any time in your life.
21:32 You can do more damage at a younger age, but at any time we
21:36 can receive this, and I was four years old when this happened.
21:40 I would have told you, I would have thought in my
21:43 intellectual mind my dad, it had to be my dad, but
21:45 it was my mother. This is nothing about my mother,
21:48 my mother was wonderful and I am so thankful
21:50 I had my mother and when I saw how much
21:53 this damage had done to me, this wound had done to
21:56 me, I totally understood how her wounds hurt her.
21:59 It wasn't about bitterness, or being angry at her,
22:02 or anything like that, love finds a way.
22:04 I like when you say that because, when God heals us it is
22:07 not about being angry or putting the blame on someone.
22:10 It is just about seeing it so that I can say to God,
22:13 you know what? Help me!
22:15 Because now I am sitting at the table, I know the damage,
22:18 I know how deep it was, but I don't know what to do next.
22:21 Holy Spirit - yeah and in the memory when I go back to
22:25 that day, when He took me back there, I cried harder
22:29 then I have ever cried because it is the hurt and the
22:32 wounds and I heard someone else describe it as a wound that
22:36 you have that has healed a little bit, but it is still
22:39 infected, and you give God permission to cut it open and
22:42 lance it, clean it out and then it can heal.
22:45 That is what I feel is happening this pain was coming out
22:49 of me and for the first part, for the first 30 minutes
22:52 of crying this hard, it was probably more why would
22:55 she do that to me? Why was she not protecting me?
22:58 It was grieving over that, then I started to see,
23:00 and this is the Holy Spirit that did it, I started to see
23:02 how that had affected everything in my life.
23:06 It left me believing I was not worth anything because my
23:09 own mother, and I know she loves me, but I came to believe
23:12 that I wasn't worth her protecting and that is how
23:16 I became this people pleaser.
23:18 I couldn't even be myself because I was so busy trying
23:21 to feel like I was worth something, I couldn't be who
23:23 God made me to be.
23:25 For a lot of people that understand what you are saying
23:27 right now, they don't even know who themselves is,
23:30 who am I? - right.
23:31 Because you started that at such an early age,
23:33 you said who am I? What does this mean?
23:36 So to me that was such a huge thing.
23:38 When you started healing, I could hear it in your voice.
23:41 I could hear your understanding that the God of the
23:44 universe stepped into your life and is guiding you in
23:48 your recovery, and I went on the phone like Yahoo.
23:51 You know because that is like a point in all of our
23:54 lives where we just have to say, God I love you.
23:56 We are so damaged, we are so damaged from the very wound
24:01 a lot of times and God says you know what?
24:02 That doesn't even scare Me, just trust Me.
24:04 Trust Me enough to let Me close to that wound and I promise
24:07 you that you will have a life.
24:08 Letting Him do that, coming out of that room that day,
24:11 I was a different person, I felt like a weight had been
24:14 lifted off of my shoulders, it's your baggage that I have
24:17 carried around, we are so used to carrying it around that
24:19 we don't even know it is there.
24:20 I met this woman who said she doesn't have baggage,
24:24 she has cargo? - ha, ha, Ha,, - I'm thinking man.
24:27 You know what I mean? Is that we carry so much we have
24:31 trainloads behind us, and we don't even know what, I just
24:34 know that I'm tired. - yes, exactly and life isn't
24:38 working smooth for us, things don't go well,
24:41 relationships don't go well and we don't know why.
24:44 We don't know why, it's because they're so much pain
24:46 buried in all of us and you have to give the Holy Spirit
24:49 that access to that.
24:50 So tell us, because you started to pray about this and
24:54 allow the Holy Spirit to come in, what kind of changes
24:57 and when did you finally get it, I get it?
25:00 Well I really think coming out of that room that day,
25:02 I was a different person completely.
25:04 And I think for other people, people now that I have
25:07 been doing this for a while, I think sometimes it can be
25:10 gradual but for me that day I was a different person.
25:12 I wanted everybody to get it, and you can ask the ladies
25:15 sitting here. - and we are going to, we are going to
25:17 take a break and ask everyone sitting here, because
25:20 everyone sitting here was affected, you were affected
25:23 because I got it and said Misti you have to get it.
25:26 You have to pray to God to let Him send the Holy Spirit.
25:29 Even if you don't know what that means, even if you don't
25:32 understand the significance of that, ask Him to give you
25:35 insight, to show you something to come into your life
25:38 that I'm done, I'm tired and I need You to help me.
25:41 And God starts changing everything, and sometimes it may
25:45 feel painful and you may cry, but God is just opening up
25:47 the wound and He is cleaning it out and your life will
25:50 be changed and you will feel joy and for the first time
25:54 understand who God created you to be, and live in that.
25:57 It is amazing, so we are going to take a break and when
25:59 we come back I'm going to introduce you to some friends
26:01 of Misti's that are here and we will hear what the
26:04 Holy Spirit has done in their life.
26:06 And some of the testimonies I'm telling you are so heavy,
26:09 we are going to have the full testimony on another show
26:13 but I want you to hear briefly how God steps in and gives
26:16 somebody hope, it is amazing you have got to stay with us.
26:19 We will be right back!
26:26 Think you've seen it all? Think again.
26:29 Cheri Peters is back for a second season of
26:32 Celebrating Life In Recovery with more lives
26:36 more stories and more miracles.
26:39 Watch the shocking, inspiring, and the incredible.
26:43 Check your local listings to find out when
26:46 Celebrating Life In Recovery comes to you and get
26:49 ready for another dose of reality, Cheri style.
27:07 I am so amazed at how God is.
27:11 About the Holy Spirit, about when we finally get to a
27:13 point in recovery like Misti was saying where I am
27:16 saying God I can't even do this, You have got to give me
27:19 some insight, You have got to show me where the problems
27:21 are, and when I finally start seeking after that.
27:25 In Misti's life she said she started seeking after that.
27:29 What ever happened I grab the book and I started to get
27:33 on my knees and I started praying and God started
27:35 to unfold things for her.
27:36 And when that happened to me it was my husband had said
27:39 something and it was just, we were doing something and
27:42 he said one of these days Cheri you're going to let me
27:45 love you, and I'm thinking what is he talking about?
27:48 You're still here and we have been married 10 years.
27:51 I'm thinking that was the craziest thing you ever said.
27:54 I have attachment disorders, bonding disorders, and my
27:57 mom tried to self do an abortion six different times
28:00 while she was carrying me, never loved me, and my dad is
28:03 a druggie and just died seven months ago in a drug house.
28:05 Crack addiction, so I didn't have a lot of love.
28:09 But I love Brad as much as I am able to, and I received
28:13 love from him as much as I was able to. Right?
28:15 So I'm praying and saying God what's he talking about?
28:20 Someday that I'm going to let him love me?
28:23 And God said through the Holy Spirit, Cheri someday
28:26 you're going to let Me love you.
28:28 I'm like, oh come on, come on.
28:31 If the whole world is crazy, the whole world is not able
28:35 to love me, or I am not able to love, that is one thing,
28:38 but God You know I love You and You know that I let You
28:41 love me. And he said, Cheri even when you are on your knees
28:45 praying with Me, I can't get through those walls.
28:48 I can't get close to you.
28:49 And I was just thinking that is so not true.
28:51 It is really hard to tell God that, that is not true!
28:55 I'm just going to call You on that, you are God and You
28:58 know a lot of things, but that's a hard denial,
29:02 You don't know me, I'm okay as Misti was saying,
29:05 it's about my in-laws it's not me.
29:08 So God slowly through the Holy Spirit, as I started to
29:11 seek Him, seeking the Holy Spirit is that He started
29:15 showing me that I never learned to trust.
29:17 As He showed me that, I remember crying like crazy because
29:21 I thought I don't know what to do next.
29:23 I don't know what the next step is, and He said, good.
29:26 Because I do, I know what the next step is and
29:30 I know how to lead you.
29:31 As I started to rely more on the Holy Spirit, as I started
29:34 to surrender things to God, I started to feel such
29:37 a strength and my recovery was unbelievable.
29:40 I feel like I can go anywhere on the planet, anywhere on
29:43 the planet and be able to say to someone, you know I am
29:46 a woman of God standing, enjoying, in the Holy of Holies
29:49 in the presence of my Father, isn't life awesome?
29:52 Before I was fighting for my recovery.
29:55 So I'm going to introduce you to the people here,
29:58 everybody here has a story, everybody here has an
30:00 experience at some level with God, some are at the very
30:03 beginning, some at the, well we are not at the end
30:06 we are all breathing but everyone has an experience at
30:09 some level so I want to introduce you to some.
30:12 First of all Sherry can you come up, you have an
30:14 incredible testimony, so I want everyone to hear that.
30:17 But first of all, most people are not going to know that
30:20 you are Misti's sister-in-law.
30:22 So we met through Misti and Cole, so talk a little bit
30:25 about who you are, where you are from, and when did you
30:28 get it as far as the Holy Spirit?
30:30 Well I got it because Misti talked to you and she called
30:34 me and she knew I was very damaged and she said, Sherry
30:37 you have got to do this, you have got to pray and ask God
30:40 to show you where your damage is.
30:42 She said Cheri Peters has been here and she showed me
30:44 these books and I have been reading them and I'm telling
30:46 you this is big stuff, you got to read it.
30:48 I was like, okay whatever. - did you do it right away?
30:52 Or did she wait like Misti? - oh no, On no.
30:54 She calls me every day for probably two weeks and was
30:58 like I'm telling you this is big, this is big.
30:59 And I'm like okay, because she gets passionate about
31:02 everything like that, I was like okay, okay I will.
31:04 Because I thought I knew where my damage is.
31:08 I don't have to pray, I thought my dad left when
31:11 I was six, he left before my little sister was even born
31:14 and I know where my damage is.
31:17 I was abandoned and then it made my mother feel like
31:21 she had to go out and find a man to rescue us, so I felt
31:24 abandoned and I knew were my damage was.
31:26 You had kids that were acting out at the time, I had kids
31:31 they were using drugs and my life was in chaos and
31:35 I could not, I was not functioning very well I was just
31:38 getting by, but I thought I knew were all my problems
31:41 were and what stemmed from them.
31:43 I told her, because I love her to pieces, and I just said
31:46 okay I'll do this, I will because she loved me so much
31:49 she wanted me to get this, really get it.
31:51 She wanted you to have a freedom that she had found.
31:54 Yes, so I finally started saying I'm going to pray
31:58 about it, and I really did.
31:59 I really started praying about it.
32:01 I guess it was about two weeks later that her sister
32:04 Nicky, my other sister-in-law called and was telling me
32:07 that her little girls had not seen their dad and I think
32:10 a month is what they said.
32:11 Because the schedules, Nicky travels a lot and Mori
32:17 travels a lot and so ago when she got that memory back
32:21 it was like that in my heart pierced, that pierced.
32:25 I was like oh my, because I knew that I was that little
32:29 girl that hadn't seen my dad in a long time.
32:32 The Nicky said, now they are emotional, they cry for
32:36 no reason and I don't know why.
32:37 I said that is okay honey because I know you miss your
32:39 daddy, but nobody was telling me that.
32:41 They were saying just deal with it, this is the way
32:45 life is, they weren't saying this but this is what I.
32:48 - that's right, stop crying.
32:50 But for me I did not cry because it would make my mother
32:53 more upset, and I was the one who protected everybody in
32:57 the family, I made sure everybody
32:58 was happy and everything.
33:00 When she said that I thought all my, I hadn't seen my
33:05 dad for month after month after year, but my daddy wasn't
33:09 calling me saying, I miss you, I can't wait to see you,
33:13 and it was nothing like that. I just thought oh my!
33:17 So when I heard that, and the way I feel about their girls
33:21 and you know them as well as I do, they are precious.
33:24 - amazing kids. - I saw myself as that sweet little
33:27 precious little girl, like her girls are, like I think
33:29 her girls are and that is how God sees me.
33:33 All of a sudden I was like, oh my, I didn't deserve what
33:37 happened to me. I didn't deserve that, I deserved better.
33:41 I deserved parents that loved me and would nurture me.
33:45 My mother did the best job she could and
33:48 I'm not knocking her. - under the circumstances and
33:50 you know what I hear that when somebody starts to heal
33:52 is that they feel like they want to protect everybody
33:55 around them, but it is not about knocking someone is
33:58 about just saying this is where my damage started and
34:00 everything else piled on top of that.
34:04 Well I call Misti the after I got the phone call from Nicky,
34:06 I think I got it, I think I got it.
34:08 She was like, what is it? I began to tell her and just
34:11 the emotions flowed out of me, and the first second
34:15 I thought how could my dad do that to me?
34:17 Then the second right after that it was gone, and I said,
34:21 you know what? He was just as damaged as I was.
34:24 You know he went from women to women trying to find
34:28 somebody else to make him feel better and that was the
34:31 first time I could honestly say I truly forgave my dad.
34:35 I just started seeing everybody as hurting people,
34:40 hurting people as much as I am and that is the reason why
34:43 I tried to mask all that hurt with drugs and alcohol and sex,
34:47 just all the things that come along with that.
34:50 I finally was able to forgive myself.
34:53 And one I was talking to Misti on the phone, I mean
34:57 emotions were, I can't even explain what was going on.
35:01 All of a sudden I had this vision of me just covered in
35:05 white, and I was covered in the righteousness of Jesus
35:10 righteousness, it was nothing I did.
35:12 He just said you know what? I'm not holding you
35:15 accountable for what you did. - I took that on Myself.
35:18 You are forgiven. - I was forgiven, and I'll be honest
35:21 with you, before that day I had many flashbacks.
35:24 You know how you have those memories when they come back
35:26 and you feel like you are right there in that situation
35:29 again, your heart is pounding and you are embarrassed
35:31 and humiliated and all this stuff and after that day
35:35 I have a really hard time remembering those things that
35:38 I wanted to so badly and so desperately forget before.
35:41 I want your sister to come up, so Kim your going to
35:44 come up and as she is coming up I want to say one thing
35:47 about when you understand God's love for us and the
35:49 baptism of the Holy Spirit, and the healing of the
35:52 Holy Spirit, one person gives it to another person,
35:55 gives it to another person and it's the way God intended.
35:58 He said comfort those with that comfort that you have
36:00 received, and in this show I want you to hear this
36:02 clearly but I also want you to hear that every single
36:05 person that has asked God to open up and show them, and bring
36:10 healing into their life, God says I would love to.
36:13 Absolutely would love to because I am your Father and
36:16 I want you to live a life of joy.
36:18 It is different than just living the Christian life
36:21 isn't it? - yeah - yes.
36:23 So Kim you come up here. When we met, Sherry asked me
36:26 to come up and you were struggling with an addiction and
36:30 they asked me to do a one to one intervention with you
36:33 and meth. You know what it is all right, it's all right.
36:37 I want you to talk a little bit about your past.
36:42 - it's tough isn't it? - yeah.
36:49 - right now what I want to say is for a lot of people
36:53 watching it's tough, you are new in recovery - yeah.
36:57 You are not even sure who God is or anything about this
37:02 whole spiritual thing, am I right about that?
37:04 - I know who He is, I mean I was baptized after my dad
37:07 died and everything and went that way and kind of went
37:10 backwards again, but like my sister said, my dad left
37:14 before it was even born so the abandonment issues came
37:18 and I too turn to drugs, alcohol, sex anything to make
37:22 a man love me. - right, because why did your dad leave?
37:26 He was cheating on my mom, - I mean as a little girl
37:29 that part of you - oh yeah, I always thought it was
37:32 my fault because he left before I was born so I thought
37:36 it was my fault because he wanted a boy, because we are
37:39 all girls and I just had a numerous amount of reasons
37:43 why I thought he left.
37:44 None of them were, it wasn't until I divorced my first
37:47 husband that my mom told me that my dad had been
37:50 cheating on her for years and she finally said,
37:53 do not come home tonight.
37:56 I know that you have struggled off and on and a very functional
38:01 addict for most of that time. - yeah, holding a job down.
38:04 73% of all addictions or all drug trafficking in the
38:11 United States is people that are still going to work,
38:12 still look great and all those things, so you are talking
38:15 to a lot of people when you say that, I went to work and
38:19 I functioned. - I was the only one in my surrounding
38:22 group of friends, well one other girl, but for the most part I
38:25 was only one that held down a job consistently for the entire
38:29 time. - why are you clean now? Why do you want to be
38:31 clean? Well I want to be clean for a lot of reasons, for my
38:37 children, when my sister intervene they sleep between my
38:42 son and at that moment I thought I had so much to lose
38:47 and nothing to gain by continuing to this. - right.
38:51 With anybody watching I want to beg them, pray for Kim
38:56 and her recovery, for the reconciliation of family members
39:00 and all that stuff. And I want you to know, that you know
39:04 we have been praying for you since we met.
39:06 We came to your state and sat down with you and worked
39:09 with you and your husband, and Amanda, another meth addict
39:13 that bonded with you, prays for you all the time.
39:16 She called me and say I don't even know why but God is
39:19 telling me to pray for Kim today.
39:20 So even with the Holy Spirit directs people to pray
39:24 for us when we are struggling.
39:25 So you know what? We can't do it on the show but tonight
39:28 I want us to sit down and pray that the Holy Spirit just
39:32 direct your recovery and that you find peace.
39:34 because I know you long to have that. - yeah.
39:36 Thank you for coming up in sharing that. - thank you.
39:38 - because I know it is tough, give me a kiss.
39:41 Okay I would like to bring Angie, come up for a minute.
39:45 I know this is tough, and you know why I want to bring
39:48 you up, and I have to say the first thing Angie told me
39:51 when she came on the show was don't call me up, right?
39:54 Right! - so I can't believe I'm doing this, can you?
39:57 - no. I can't.
40:00 Well you know you said something that I would love to
40:02 cover, because you said you know what? I don't know if
40:04 I've got it yet, what do you mean by that?
40:06 I just feel like I know what it's about and I know I want
40:10 it, but I don't have it, it's a journey, it's a process
40:14 and I am not there yet, but I know that it is a goal that
40:17 I am working towards because when I see all these women
40:20 and everything that is happening in their lives,
40:23 and the stories that they tell how we are all different,
40:25 but we are all the same.
40:26 We are all looking to find this happiness and this healing
40:29 that only God can give us. - right.
40:31 You can see the difference in their lives don't you?
40:33 - yes. - so tell us a little bit because every time
40:36 I can see it when Misti calls me on the phone, I can hear
40:39 it, so tell me a little bit about what you see as far as
40:42 the changes when everybody turns it over
40:44 to the Holy Spirit?
40:45 Well first of all like Sherry said, when she gets excited
40:48 about something that is all she can talk about.
40:52 She wants everyone to know, and she wants everyone to
40:55 experience it so constantly she is pounding at you that
40:57 you have got to get it, you have got to get it keep praying.
40:59 God loves you and He wants you have this, He wants you to find
41:02 your special for Him not to want you to have this freedom also.
41:05 So you just see a passion about her that wasn't there
41:08 before and a passion that instead of being wounded and
41:12 hurt over the way people have treated her she is just out
41:15 to make sure everybody gets it and everybody has this
41:17 healing that she has experienced.
41:19 - I know that you have issues and Misti would so love
41:22 to just say, get it, get it,
41:25 give them up and I know it in your heart you would love
41:27 to give them up? - yes.
41:28 So we are going to kind of hang out tonight after the
41:30 show, we are going out to dinner and we are going to
41:33 talk about the baptism of the Holy Spirit and
41:35 I am praying you get it.
41:37 If anybody's listening pray, pray with us. - thank you.
41:41 Okay Darbie I would like for you to come up and share
41:44 with us, and Darbie you know what is funny is the first time
41:46 when I said I'm going to call you up to share,
41:48 you said you know what? I just don't have anything really
41:51 and it is just small. Then you tell me what the issue was
41:54 and I laughed because I thought almost everybody on the
41:57 planet could relate to that.
41:58 So talk about, first of all what you told me?
42:01 I was very insecure and I didn't feel comfortable in my
42:05 own skin, but more importantly it was really that
42:08 my words had no value growing up.
42:10 - you got that growing up? - well, you know I came
42:12 from a family that loved me.
42:14 My parents did get divorced but we had a great relationship
42:19 with my family still and it really changed after I found
42:24 the walls, but mine really was, my words had no value.
42:29 It came to me when my husband and I were in an argument
42:33 and I kept saying over and over I kept saying,
42:35 you are not hearing me, you are not hearing me.
42:37 Immediately someone had just told us that when you feel
42:44 that anger, ask God where that came from.
42:47 Immediately, because they didn't know why I was saying it,
42:50 - right, it was so intense and you knew it was bigger
42:54 than the argument. - yes, yeah, yeah and I asked God
42:59 immediately where that came from.
43:00 I just wanted to scream so loud, why can't anyone hear
43:05 my words, why do my words have no value?
43:07 Because my whole life I felt like I shouldn't talk.
43:12 And I was a listener, I had friends I would listen all
43:15 day long, but when it came time to me, no one would listen.
43:18 So I kept over and over getting that message and thought
43:22 okay well I probably just shouldn't talk because
43:25 I should just be a listener.
43:27 From that moment, I had a deep cry. - so this is an
43:32 I had to go back to the fact that this is after friends
43:37 of yours and Misti was telling you to listen to God and
43:41 let Him heal you of this.
43:42 So she was really trying to say you don't have to be
43:45 there to say it. - Right because I'm a people pleaser
43:48 a lot like Misti, and she told me that's your junk,
43:51 Cheri Peters just told me that.
43:54 Is that funny, there is something really powerful about
43:56 knowing it is our stuff, because I can't change the world
43:59 But I sure can ask for God to change me and to teach me.
44:03 And that began with me on praying, to find what walls
44:07 I had built up and it caused my relationship with God to be
44:10 further than I wanted it to be, I wanted that closeness
44:14 that I thought everyone else had, and I couldn't find it.
44:17 Bible studies, nothing, I couldn't find that closeness
44:22 and finding that wall, that my voice, I didn't have any
44:26 value in my words, - and I love the imagery that you
44:30 have, is that you are little girl behind walls,
44:32 and even if you scream you are not going to be heard.
44:35 Because you have all these walls. Um hum.
44:37 It changed my desires, my relationship with God was what
44:43 I always dreamed it could be and I don't know if I can
44:48 put into words, it gave me a mission in life.
44:51 And the mission is what? - to tell others.
44:54 To tell somebody, and when I see people get it.
44:58 When I see people literally the Gospel is true, recovery
45:02 is true, that there is joy in our walk with God.
45:06 It is bigger than what people are saying, is not
45:08 about just going and sitting on a pew every week.
45:11 It is not about that, it is about freedom from all of
45:14 our junk and actually a restoration and
45:16 a renewed mind and heart.
45:18 I am going to give you a new heart and a new spirit,
45:20 and when you feel that isn't it amazing?
45:22 It's amazing. - it's amazing. - it's amazing.
45:24 Everything changes. - absolutely.
45:26 Darbie thank you so much and you don't look insecure
45:29 at all to me anymore. - I don't, good.
45:31 You've never met me - I know about when I look at you
45:34 you are just a beautiful woman and all that stuff and
45:37 I feel the Holy Spirit in you, I don't feel insecurity.
45:40 Thank you, it is all God. He healed me.
45:43 Okay, right now I want to bring up Shelly, and Shelly
45:47 as you come up I want to say that we are going to talk
45:50 about the Holy Spirit, and we are going to talk about
45:53 recovery, but your testimony is a little intense.
45:56 So I'm just going to warn people about that.
45:58 You're going to be on another show, we'll go into that
46:01 more in depth but I want you to say where you came
46:04 from? And how did you meet up with Misti and what does
46:07 the Holy Spirit mean to you?
46:08 Will Misti and I meant less than two years ago, but I have had
46:12 some very major traumas in my life.
46:15 The biggest one that most people, and the one
46:17 you are talking about is a little over 10 years ago.
46:20 I had gone through a really, really bad divorce.
46:23 My ex-husband, it was probably a year and a half for the
46:27 divorce, and three weeks after it was finalized I had gone
46:30 out of town to see my little sister.
46:32 For the very first time I left my three boys with him,
46:35 they were 11, 10, and 8 at the time.
46:38 And ah, so I left them with their dad even though the
46:42 divorce was bad, it had been awful for me but I had made
46:47 the decision to not try to influence their relationship
46:50 with their dad. - you didn't want to color that? - right.
46:53 If he was going to be a bad person to them, it was
46:55 a half to be something they are realizing on their own,
46:58 I didn't want to influence that at all.
46:59 So I left them with their dad and went to see my sister
47:02 and it was a three hour trip and I was glad to get away.
47:05 My mother had been ill and she was in the hospital so it
47:08 was a last minute thing that I actually did go.
47:09 I left on a Friday and on a Saturday morning at about
47:14 5:15 in the morning the phone rang.
47:15 My sister answered the phone in the other room and came
47:18 and got me and it was my ex-husband.
47:20 He started talking, which he did that a lot, he started
47:25 rambling a lot and into that saying all kinds of weird
47:28 things, he kept talking, he said they are all dead.
47:32 They're dead and I called to you I love you and he was
47:36 saying all kinds of things.
47:37 - if they're all dead were you talking about?
47:40 I thought he was talking about his grandparents,
47:42 they live down the street and we had a really good
47:44 relationship and for some reason that was a connection
47:46 that I was making.
47:47 Then towards the very end of the conversation he said
47:51 to me, I just called to tell you that I love you and
47:55 that we're all dead. Then I heard a noise.
47:58 And that was that. That was it!
48:01 I kind of started weirding out, freaking out because
48:04 I couldn't get him to response or do anything.
48:06 - What was that noise, what were you saying?
48:08 Yeah, I could figure it all out. So my sister had come
48:11 into the room by the end and for some reason I had the
48:14 mental capacity, I know now it was only God, to call my
48:17 Father in Oklahoma City and have him call 911 and check
48:21 on the home where my ex-husband lived and the kids were.
48:24 And we sat there for an hour, I called friends of mine.
48:28 I asked for prayer we sat there and prayed and I kept
48:32 trying to call, other people were trying to call the home
48:35 not knowing what was going on.
48:37 - you want to just say please answer.
48:39 Please answer and let me know what is going on.
48:42 An hour later, at 6:15 my dad called, and my sister
48:45 answered the phone and I literally sat there and watched
48:47 her face for what he was saying.
48:49 She just very solemnly liked umhumm, umhumm, okay.
48:55 She handed me the phone.
48:57 I remember my dad saying Shelly, the police just came to
49:00 the door, and the boys are gone.
49:03 - I can't even imagine Shelly.
49:06 But Cheri, with the last bit of hope that I had, what
49:10 I said to my dad was Oh good, do they think they know
49:14 where he took them? He said no honey, he shot and killed
49:18 all the boys and the sound that you heard was him
49:21 shooting himself, and he is still alive.
49:25 - wow. - I lost it, I don't remember saying anything
49:31 else, I don't remember the rest of the conversation,
49:33 I remember starting to throw things and just.
49:35 - this just can't be true. - just fall apart.
49:37 - this cannot be real. - I just fell apart and
49:39 I remember my sisters now husband, boyfriend then just
49:43 come to me saying if you have to be beat on something beat on me.
49:45 And I beat on him until he was black and blue and
49:48 just fell on the floor.
49:49 We made a trip back to Oklahoma City in the van and
49:53 I remember just looking out the window thinking I don't
49:56 have anything to go home to. - or to live for.
49:59 I can't even imagine trying to live.
50:05 I honestly can't say that I didn't feel the urge to go on.
50:11 There was this part of me, maybe it was just determination
50:16 that I knew this was done to hurt me.
50:18 I knew my mom was waiting at home, she had checked herself
50:23 out of the hospital to be at home and wait for me.
50:25 I have always had to be strong for my family, I've always
50:28 been a strong one, I've always been responsible for a lot
50:31 of things and that is a lot of my damage is in that area.
50:34 But I went home and I just remember that night knowing
50:38 that I had to be alone with God for awhile.
50:41 In knowing that they were gone and my life had changed
50:45 forever and I didn't know why.
50:47 But I told God that night that I would continue to go on
50:52 every day until I figured out what His plan was
50:55 for my life and I was okay if I never knew.
51:00 And we are going to cover every step of your recovery,
51:05 every step of that journey but I want to jump, how did
51:12 God convince you to allow Him to take that grief and pain,
51:18 because walking with it is one thing, right? - umhumm.
51:21 And I'm sure you walk with it for years.
51:23 I'm sure you set with Him in prayers for years but I know
51:27 that at this point you are literally saying to Him,
51:30 take it, take it. - I've done with it.
51:32 How did that happen and is the Holy Spirit involved in
51:35 that? - it took a long time, and finally took the
51:39 realization that I was living a lie, and sometimes just
51:42 couldn't handle it anymore and I would tell myself I was
51:45 giving it to God, but continually taking it back.
51:48 I would pull it back now and wouldn't let go completely.
51:51 - so every part of your body is still trapped
51:53 mentally, spiritually. - yes completely.
51:56 And I met Misti, and God had just started telling me
51:59 you need to share this story, you need to start stepping
52:02 outside your box and start sharing this story with others
52:05 because if I can put you through this,
52:07 this isn't your story.
52:09 This isn't your story, this is a Mine. This is Mine.
52:12 So Misti started sawing ever- body with all the damage and all
52:17 this stuff and I finally started realizing the lie that I was
52:21 believing was that I had done it, even though sometimes
52:24 I would say it was God, but I had done it.
52:27 So when I started asking for it, when I started taking
52:30 myself out of it, what I finally realized was that if
52:34 I truly believe in the all-knowing omnipotent God and
52:36 know that He gave me my children, then I have to know
52:39 that the day before He gave them to me, He knew the day
52:42 they would be gone, that everything He had given me
52:44 had already been filtered through His hands and that with
52:47 the Holy Spirit I was going to go on and that through
52:49 the story and through many things going on that
52:52 it will bless other people.
52:53 And you are going to see them again. - umhumm.
52:55 So the fact that God says I will raise them and hand them
52:58 back to you, I mean all those things that give us hope.
53:01 But the Holy Spirit not only gives us hope for the future
53:04 but gives us the ability to live free today.
53:08 I see that in you, and I think man, because God, a lot of
53:12 times we will talk about insecurities, we will talk about
53:15 childhood stuff and all of a sudden we see a trauma that
53:19 literally hits somebody with things that you think how
53:22 could they survive that and God says, you know what?
53:25 We are living in a world that is full of sin and when
53:27 that hits you, please come to Me.
53:30 Please seek out the Holy Spirit, and I think God so longs to
53:34 do that and I want to thank you so much for joining us.
53:36 We are going to cover all that on a different show,
53:38 you know that. - yeah.
53:39 Okay Misti I what you to come back up because I want to
53:41 say Misti a couple things to you.
53:43 One of the things I want to say is did you have any idea
53:46 when you started this search, when you start allowing
53:50 the Holy Spirit to bring healing into your life,
53:51 that you would offer it or teach people how to get it.
53:55 I had no idea, I didn't realize the freedom that was available
54:00 to me, I didn't realize that.
54:02 I have been since I was a little girl, I have been
54:05 a Christian. My mother taught, my mother became
54:08 a Christian when I was six months old and I really
54:10 strove for that relationship with God almost my whole life.
54:14 I'm 35 but yet I didn't feel any closer to God from when
54:17 I was a child asking Him in as at 35.
54:22 I remember one time he said to me, you wake up in the
54:24 morning and you feel like God just kisses you on the cheek
54:26 and He says Cheri just wait until you see what
54:29 I have planned for you today.
54:30 I remember sitting there thinking, how come I don't have
54:32 that, how come? I've tried. What is wrong with me?
54:35 But what was wrong was I had walls built and I was
54:38 keeping Him out. - and Satan says that lie to you,
54:40 oh you're not good enough. There's that lie again.
54:43 My walls did not allow Him in even all those years I was
54:46 asking Him in to change me and to walk with me, but yet
54:49 I wasn't getting, I think so many Christians probably
54:52 deal with this, get this people, get this.
54:55 Because is the difference between walking not close to
54:59 God, and walking with that relationship that we all want.
55:02 Let Him tear down the walls and let the Holy Spirit
55:05 bring down the walls and let Him come in,
55:07 because you are keeping Him out you ask Him and He comes
55:09 as close as the walls, as your walls will let Him.
55:13 That is as close as He can come, let Him bring down the walls.
55:15 And He so wants to bring down the walls.
55:17 I'm going to tell you that we are going to come back,
55:19 I want to share with you some closing thoughts.
55:22 But God wants to heal you, God wants to have such an
55:25 intimate relationship with you that He wakes you up
55:28 every day and kisses you right on the face, and you
55:31 are excited to live your life every single day.
55:34 Stay tuned we will be right back and this is exciting
55:37 stuff, comeback.
55:43 Cheri Peters uses the book, 'Coming Of The Comforter'
55:46 as a guide for the second season of Celebrating Life In
55:50 Recovery, written by Lee Roy E. Froom is a 320 page book
55:53 that offers every sinner the knowledge that the
55:55 Holy Spirit is available to all.
55:57 3ABN now offers this book to you for a suggested donation
56:01 of only $13 postpaid within the US.
56:04 Call 3ABN at 618-627-4651 or go online to 3ABN.org.
56:25 You know what I love about this? I read somewhere in
56:29 Ellen White's writings that Satan fears nothing as much
56:32 as he fears our understanding of the baptism of the
56:35 Holy Spirit because he knows that if we get this,
56:39 if we understand what God has offered in the gift of
56:42 the Holy Spirit, in the infilling of the Holy Spirit
56:45 and the baptism of the Holy Spirit, all our junk will
56:48 fall off, all of it.
56:49 He will have no more ties in our life.
56:52 He will have no way to mani- pulate us, no way to scare us,
56:56 no way to step into our lives and cause us to be
57:00 depressed and discouraged and all of that.
57:02 When I get the Holy Spirit, I understand who I am as
57:05 a woman of God, who God is, what happened to Christ,
57:09 and the Bible become so real that it absolutely will
57:12 scare you at first, and then it just brings hope.
57:15 That I am a child of God, I have inherited all this kind
57:18 of stuff, any detachment disorders, bonding disorders,
57:22 things that the secular world says that you will have
57:25 until you die, you will never be able to get over this.
57:28 One of the things I am socially underdeveloped and Misti
57:31 prayed for me after she got the Holy Spirit and I have
57:34 never had a problem socially anymore because I believe
57:36 that God gives us freedom from all those things.
57:39 He wants to give you freedom, He wants you to just turn
57:42 it over and let the walls come down.
57:44 Trust Him, if it doesn't happen right away, every single
57:47 day pray and when you feel yourself in the middle of junk
57:50 pray, and when you feel like you have so stumbled again,
57:54 pray, and when you get that urge that this may be it
57:57 turn it over to God and let Him bring healing into your
58:00 life and you will smile.
58:02 More than that, you will start telling everybody because,
58:05 all of a sudden, everything makes sense.
58:09 Everything makes sense, that we have the only answer
58:12 and the answer is Christ.
58:13 It is so cool always remember that God is crazy about
58:17 you and me too and we will see you next time,
58:19 and I had a blast today. I hope you did too!


Revised 2014-12-17