Celebrating Life in Recovery

Growing Up Into Christ

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Cheri Peters (Host), Jeannette Rodriguez


Series Code: CLR

Program Code: CLR000008

00:10 Welcome to Celebrating Life In Recovery, I'm Cheri your host.
00:13 Today you are going to be so blessed, we are going to look
00:15 at how God grows us spiritually.
00:17 How He leads us through recovery, it is amazing.
00:20 Come in and join us!
00:48 I love this show, I love what we are trying to do here.
00:52 I love recovery, I love how God says I know that every
00:54 one of you are a mess, and if you are watching and
00:57 you are saying, "I don't think I'm a mess,"
00:59 it's because you are in denial.
01:02 It's like all of us have stuff and God says the best
01:05 of the best of us are like filthy rags.
01:08 I can't even tell you what the original language says
01:11 because it is disgusting, but I mean filthy rags.
01:13 So it is like God is saying, I really died for you because
01:18 you need Me to die for you.
01:19 I want to start with telling you a story that I heard on a
01:23 talk show, a daytime talk show.
01:25 It was about a guy and his gig, his job what he got paid
01:29 to do was to get a map of the United States.
01:32 He literally gets this map of the United States.
01:35 He has a dart and he throws the dart.
01:38 Poof and it sticks. Wherever it's sticks he goes to that
01:43 city, and he goes to that city and goes to a phone booth,
01:48 any phone booth, he sees one and opens up the phone
01:51 book to any page and puts his finger down.
01:54 Then he goes to that house with a film crew and knocks on
01:58 the door and says, excuse me, can you tell me a little bit
02:04 about yourself? If they say yes, he hears their testimony.
02:10 He says everybody has a story.
02:12 When he is done with that one and he hears what has been
02:15 blessed in their family, from their story or what they
02:17 have struggled with, and they learned from their struggle.
02:21 Then he goes back to the map and takes his dart, poof!
02:25 Goes to that city, goes to that phone booth, goes to the
02:29 phonebook and opens it up and puts his finger down
02:32 and goes right to a house.
02:33 I'm thinking how funny is that?
02:35 I want to see the reason I want to set that up is this
02:37 show is going to be a little different than the rest
02:40 of the shows we have done.
02:41 We are going to listen to the people sitting here at the
02:44 café, and we are going to hear their stories.
02:46 If I could, I would switch them out with the camera people
02:49 and we would hear their stories, and if I could I would
02:51 switch them out with the production team and we would
02:54 hear their stories, and if I could I would switch
02:56 them out with you and we would hear your story.
02:58 It's amazing because we all have a story.
03:01 God says, you know what I am crazy about you.
03:04 My theme text Isaiah 57:18 I know that you are a mess
03:08 and I'm going to heal you anyway.
03:11 I'm thinking I am so ready, heal me.
03:13 There are some things that I don't even know I need
03:16 healing from and He says, that's all right.
03:18 That's alright I'm okay with that.
03:19 So we are going to introduce you to people on the set.
03:22 I'm going to do it a little different than we normally do.
03:25 Some of you I'm going to grab and just have you come up
03:27 here, like Betty I want you to come up here your first.
03:33 I know when I said you're going to be first you looked at me
03:35 like no, not first.
03:37 Tell us a little bit about yourself and where you came
03:40 from, because as you know, and I got to say, doesn't she
03:43 look like she would be a teacher, she'd be my teacher
03:46 and be perfect and never have anything you struggled with?
03:49 To me everything about you seems perfect.
03:52 Oh really! - yeah, so tell the people at the café where
03:57 you come from and what have you struggled with in your life?
03:59 Well I say the thing that I struggled with the most was
04:03 that I was adopted when I was small. - how small?
04:06 I was three years old - okay.
04:08 So all my growing up years, and even to this day,
04:12 I struggle with the feeling of loneliness and being
04:16 alone and not having family.
04:18 Did you remember at three, did you ever remember your folks?
04:22 - no! - did you ever see them?
04:23 Yes, yes I have met them several times and I know who
04:27 they are. - what were they like?
04:29 Um, they're both deaf and dumb and so they just weren't
04:33 able to care for us at the time and that is why,
04:37 I think the Lord lead and I think God put me where
04:41 He wanted me to be.
04:42 It doesn't help when you struggle with your loneliness
04:45 right? - Yea, but I think that God is the One who has
04:49 helped me along because I can remember even when I was six
04:51 years old, I would go out in the woods and climb up
04:55 a tree and talk to God.
04:58 God was like, I saw God as my Father all the years.
05:02 Whenever, whenever I was really lonely and ran into
05:05 problems I saw God as my Father and the One that would
05:09 always be there for me.
05:10 You know what, could you just imagine I saw you as a little
05:15 girl and I need to get closer to God so I'll climb this tree.
05:17 I just want to kiss you for that. - okay.
05:20 So as you struggled, as you grew up, as you looked at
05:24 these issues God was faithful during those times.
05:28 Oh yes definitely. - never struggled with anything else
05:31 other than the adoption?
05:33 No, I have struggled with other things, but that is the
05:36 biggest thing. - okay, okay thank you for coming up.
05:38 And I want, the next person, Mark you can go ahead and
05:44 stay sitting down, you work for the church.
05:46 You are married to Betty - 25 years ago.
05:51 25 years you have been married!
05:52 Is she still climbing trees? Ah she makes me climb trees.
05:58 Let's both go find God, lets both go up the tree.
06:01 So who are you, and who are you in Christ?
06:05 Not only in your marriage but just in your life.
06:07 You mean now or whenever? - whenever.
06:11 Well I wasn't raised an Adventist, I was raised in
06:14 a nominal Christian home in Washington, DC.
06:17 I went to Sunday school and was even an acolyte, but
06:22 I came to the conclusion that Christianity lost its power.
06:27 Maybe way back in the early centuries it was significant,
06:31 had an influence but I didn't see any influence, anything
06:35 that impacted people's lives in the church I was raised in.
06:38 So by the time I was 16 I just lost interest.
06:40 So it's not even real and I do want to be here and I could
06:44 care less. - I just exited and I lived by the flesh.
06:48 Wait! What does that mean? Because you know what when I was
06:53 on the street and I heard somebody say I got out there
06:55 in the flesh, I thought what does that mean?
06:57 Well one of the drawbacks it is one of the things you think
07:00 about today, but it definitely was party life.
07:03 Drinking and that kind of stuff? - Yeah little bit of that.
07:06 And women - but like you say and women and we are not bad
07:12 unless you make us bad so go ahead.
07:14 But you got out there? Left Christ. - yes I did.
07:18 But I had a good friend in high school and he had a job,
07:23 a summer job that paid quite a bit more than I was getting
07:27 paid so I thought out of greed I said I want that job
07:31 so I went and applied.
07:34 It was at a sheet metal shop, and I didn't realize this
07:37 it took me several times, I back four times.
07:42 They said you really want to work so they said that we'll
07:45 hire you, but I realize that the foreman of that shop
07:48 was a Seventh-day Adventist.
07:49 He wasn't just an Adventist, he was an on-fire Adventist.
07:54 He witnessed, and he took an interest in us young guys.
07:58 Now he seemed old, 31 years old, he seemed old but he took an
08:02 interest in us young guys, I was 17.
08:03 The about 17 and he would try to show us how to do our work
08:07 but he would tell us what Christ has done for him.
08:12 I had never heard anybody talk about Jesus as a friend.
08:16 Where His love have made a difference in their lives.
08:20 He said his wife and I used to do all these parties and
08:23 all these terrible things he didn't like, but now we love
08:28 each other, we have a great family life.
08:31 It has changed me, now we drink but we drink lemonade on
08:36 the back porch and it's wonderful.
08:37 So Mark you saw somebody that finally took God and made
08:41 Him real inside his life. So God became real to you then?
08:44 Well the other component was the fact that he was truly
08:46 a loving caring person.
08:47 I had never met or seen that in church.
08:50 That really made an impression on me, now at the time
08:54 I wasn't really that interested. I remember at the time saying Oh
08:57 this is going to interfere with the fun I am
08:58 having, I don't want it.
09:00 But I couldn't help but listen, and God confronted me
09:03 and I sort of put it on the back burner and then went to
09:05 the University of Maryland and continued on with the life.
09:09 But then I came to the point I didn't feel very fulfilled
09:12 with it and I started reading the Bible and I remembered my
09:14 friend and asked him if he would study the Bible with me.
09:18 And the funny thing was he said okay, come on over and
09:21 I came over on a Friday night.
09:22 Now this is, this is a Friday night and we had a Bible
09:25 study and he went right into Daniel and talked about,
09:29 - no way. - he started opening up the text talking
09:33 about the little horn.
09:34 I said I know who that is, because I was a history buff.
09:39 That's really interesting to me though, is that you would
09:44 get into somebody that opens the book and actually gets
09:47 into some really heavy issues right away.
09:49 So you needed that? - I was interested.
09:51 So I'm going to go onto the next person, I just want to
09:55 say how incredible that you left the church, it wasn't real
09:59 and somebody just stood in front of you and pulls you back and
10:03 you are blessed by it. - just show you how ready I was,
10:05 I went to church the next day - no way?
10:08 And I went in gathering the next night. - no way!
10:11 Now you work in church and a ministry.
10:13 After that I always kept Sabbath after that. - wow.
10:18 You have been a ministry since then - since I was
10:22 baptized in 1972, it was a whole new world.
10:29 I was totally not interested in religion, or God or
10:34 anything to do with God, but when I finally, when I was a
10:38 finally confronted with His promises and His claims,
10:40 I was overwhelmed. - and the Holy Spirit.
10:42 Okay let's move on, I want to introduce you to Susan.
10:47 Susan come on up. Susan we met a little while ago.
10:52 You are how old - 18- 18.
10:55 I wish I was 18 again, I'm so jealous go sit down. No!
11:00 You and I have known each other for a while.
11:02 You deal with some pretty heavy issues, so talk a
11:05 little bit about where you came from, first about your
11:09 family an outreach stuff and where you came from and
11:12 what you deal with.
11:14 I was born in Guam and I was a missionary kid and went
11:18 to Indonesia and then I got into the United States.
11:21 It was pretty traumatic coming into the United States
11:25 after all that Aye!
11:27 Yeah I went through basically culture shock.
11:30 It's really difficult for me and it was about age 12 that I
11:37 started self abusing and I dealt with it for six years now.
11:42 Self abusing for people don't know what is that?
11:44 Because there is a lot of people when you say that
11:46 they're not going to have a clue, I don't know what
11:48 she's talking about.
11:50 It's basically cutting, burning, whatever, I mean it is
11:54 just different methods for different people.
11:56 But trying to relieve almost like the emotional pain you
12:01 feel with an outward thing? - yes, just releasing the
12:06 pain from within, or distracting yourself from what you
12:10 need to deal with and try to avoid the problem altogether.
12:14 You have been cutting yourself, burning yourself for how
12:19 long? - for six years.
12:21 Is God trying to get you to stop? - yes - yes!
12:26 And when I say that because I know, I watch even our
12:30 relationship and different people in your life, and God
12:33 has been faithful with all the things you have dealt with.
12:37 When you had gotten into this, you've gotten into some
12:41 pretty difficult situations that have caused other things
12:45 to pile up on you. How you deal with that?
12:48 Well I was sexually abused and all that and that is
12:57 basically how it started, the cutting.
13:03 I just try to like avoid thinking about the things and
13:10 try to think positive and try to pray and do alternatives.
13:16 And you are in a support group for the abuse issues?
13:21 Right - yeah - how's that working out?
13:24 It has been good, it has been very helpful.
13:27 I'm trying to deal with the problem behind the reason
13:32 I am hurting myself and once that is through I think
13:37 I will be able to heal and stop cutting altogether.
13:41 You know what is amazing to me in our relationship, just
13:44 knowing each other for the short time we have.
13:47 Because we've known each other for like three years or so,
13:49 right? - ah hmmm - the short time we work together
13:51 is this is the first time I think I have heard you talk
13:54 about having some kind of hope that this will be over
13:59 sometime? - yeah, I have a hope because it has been
14:03 easier and it is getting easier and easier for me to stop
14:07 for a certain duration of time that I'll not do it.
14:14 Then I will have a relapse and always have the hope that
14:17 I can keep going. - do you feel like God forgives you?
14:22 Yeah. - I do too. And this, and I'm just going to say
14:27 this right now because it is amazing to me.
14:29 I worked with a girl that was your age and she was
14:31 anorexic. She came in one day and she was, she had taken
14:35 all kinds of laxatives and she was trying to get herself to
14:39 throw up because her mom made her eat and stuff like that.
14:42 You had anorexia at one time right? Didn't you have
14:44 eating disorders at one time? - yeah.
14:45 So she comes in to work right, I had her working at the
14:48 Ministry Center and she goes into the bathroom and
14:52 she is, I'm sorry if this is disgusting to people
14:55 but you have to just see this whole thing.
14:57 The laxatives were too intense, she was like going everywhere
15:01 and she was also throwing up and she came out and she felt
15:04 horrible, and I could tell she had lost all the color and
15:08 she was sweating and I said if Christ came back right now,
15:12 right now do you think He would take you with Him?
15:15 Do you think that you would be saved? Do you know what
15:18 she said? She started weeping and can you imagine what
15:21 she said? No I don't think He would take me back.
15:25 I said oh man, that is where you have Him wrong.
15:29 He would take you back in a second because sometimes we
15:32 are in all our mess, and we feel overwhelmed by that,
15:35 but we have a God that said I died for you
15:37 because you are a mess.
15:39 All of us, not just one of us, not just you, not just me, not
15:43 just Betty with your adoption issues and all at stuff.
15:47 Mark, I imagine you have some other stuff that you are not
15:50 sharing with us, I'm kidding.
15:52 But you know not just one of us up all of us and
15:55 God said I died for you and I will walk with
15:57 you every step of the way.
15:58 Do you know of my prayer is for you and I?
16:00 I get to see you when you are on the other side of all this
16:04 stuff and you are helping someone else.
16:05 I think that will be a blast.
16:08 I have a great dream to help others and use my problems to
16:11 help those who are going through the same thing I went
16:14 through. - and there are tons.
16:16 Cutting in school how prevalent is it?
16:19 I have had friends that do it, and I've had people that
16:27 are way worse off than I am.
16:29 Huge scars all over their body. - yeah.
16:32 I just tried to, when I do know people and when I do have
16:37 friends it's kind of like trying to use it in a positive
16:42 way, like if you have a friend that is dealing with
16:46 cutting and you are dealing with cutting also,
16:51 then you want to try and use that in a positive way to
16:56 get together and use the hope and just try to support
17:02 each other in not doing it, and not doing it.
17:05 Actually learning to do something else, and the support
17:09 actually helps you. - it can hinder you to know someone else
17:13 is cutting and you are dealing with cutting, but it can
17:16 also be a positive experience because you can pray for
17:18 each other, you can help each other, you can lift each
17:21 other up and it is a good thing if you use it
17:25 in a positive way.
17:26 Cutting actually becomes an addiction in and of itself.
17:29 Does anybody know that? You can get addicted to your own
17:33 body chemistry and so you have to actually almost go
17:36 through recovery from your own self as if you are addicted to
17:39 like heroin with cutting.
17:41 So you and I are actually going to do a whole show on that
17:44 next season and we will blessed with another woman named
17:47 Nikki Duffy so you have to be tuned into that.
17:49 But right now I want to say thank you for sharing with us.
17:52 And you know I'm crazy about you? - yeah.
17:55 Okay you can sit down now. Okay Valerie, come on up.
17:59 Okay Valerie you and I just met. - yes, yes.
18:05 But I know your daughter in law and your son, I've known
18:10 them for a while and I didn't even know that Brad's mom
18:16 had a little issue of some kind.
18:18 So tell me, who are you? What do you deal with?
18:20 Addiction, alcoholism. - since how old?
18:26 Ah, 12- so what do you think brought alcohol into your life
18:33 at 12 years old, what was going on?
18:34 Trying to fit in maybe in the right crowd, small town.
18:44 Sexual abuse - all that stuff? - uhhhhhmmm.
18:49 How has alcoholism interfere with your life and
18:53 why are you moving into a relationship with God?,
18:58 what brought that about?
18:59 I need God, I can't live any longer like this.
19:07 Amen, and you know what I want to say is Dah,
19:15 No I'm sorry I didn't really mean that.
19:17 It's like suicide, it's suicide or God. - I'm so done.
19:25 Yeah! - I'm so sick of this stuff that I want to kill
19:29 myself or want to change. - yes, ya I have to have God
19:32 in my life or I just can't keep going. I need Him.
19:36 You don't have it within you to do it on your own aye?
19:40 Oh I can't. - Are you twisted in your thinking? - Oh yeah.
19:44 Do you have crazies thinking? - oh yeah, bad dreams, I cry
19:48 out to God in the night. - do you know why say that?
19:50 Is because I was so twisted and I was so crazy, but you
19:53 know what I want to say to you, no not bragging.
19:56 I'm absolutely am incredible right now, you know I have
20:01 a great life and love to laugh and I love what I'm doing.
20:05 I don't feel afraid of my own thoughts anymore.
20:08 I want to tell you to hang on to God and don't let Him go
20:11 because He will get you to a place where you will not be
20:14 afraid of your own thoughts.
20:15 You will actually stand holy in a presence of a holy God
20:19 saying, Yahoo, life is good.
20:22 So hang in there and if you need to just come stay at my
20:26 house for awhile, okay anything else you want to share
20:31 with us? - No, I thank God for listening to me in the
20:36 middle of the night and sticking with me.
20:40 I mean He is there and He does take us back when we fall.
20:43 Was He there during your alcoholism do you think?
20:47 Yeah, I know He was because I wouldn't be here today,
20:50 I should have wrecked my car many times, yeah He is there.
20:55 What is amazing is that one time I had overdosed on heroin and
21:00 I'm laying on the floor of a drug house in my own feces and
21:04 I think God was there during that time.
21:06 Somebody will say no, no, no He is not there until
21:08 we say we want Him or until we are saved.
21:11 God if we are breathing, God is with you.
21:14 If we have breath in our body God is working to reconcile
21:18 us back to Him.
21:19 Not saying that He loves us drinking, but He loves our
21:22 liver, He doesn't want us to damage our self, to trash
21:26 our brains and all that stuff to cut our bodies.
21:29 I think Satan so wants to destroy us and God does not.
21:32 He says if you are breathing, I will be with you, all you
21:36 have to do is holler out and that's what you say, is when
21:38 I relapsed I holler out.
21:40 You holler out in the night when you are afraid of your own
21:43 dreams. - Amen - I thank you for sharing that with us.
21:46 Go-ahead Valerie sit down.
21:48 If anybody is watching this show, I beg you to pray for
21:54 the people you see on our show, pray for me pray for yourself.
21:57 It is really important that we actually know or realize
22:04 that God is working with every single one of us.
22:07 On the next segment, when we come back I want to show you
22:11 what God has taught me about how He walks us into recovery,
22:16 and how He deals with all these different things, all
22:19 these things that people deal with and it is so amazing,
22:22 it is a so amazing that you have to stay tuned.
22:28 We want to introduce you to a beautiful book
22:30 Called 'Steps To Christ'.
22:32 Each program in this series is based on a different chapter
22:35 showing you how to become a Christian and
22:37 gain victory over your addictions.
22:39 'Steps To Christ' is our gift to you free of charge.
22:42 Just call us at:
23:10 Welcome back, this is my favorite part of the show.
23:13 This show is a little bit different because we are doing
23:15 it different, we have the testimonies, you got to meet
23:17 everybody at the café except for wait a minute,
23:21 Larry you got out from having to say anything.
23:24 So I want to know who are you? - okay well before I get
23:28 into that I want to say something because I have been on
23:31 a few other shows and it don't seem to get to say it is
23:34 that there is a way out, no matter what comes your way.
23:38 Like in my case one of the things that really bugged me
23:41 and I only just recently spoke publicly about it was
23:45 molested as a child and having the guilt feeling and
23:49 having the shame, God is there and He'll take care of it for
23:52 us if we will just give it to Him, I wanted to say that in the
23:54 onset because that is the way my life started somewhere
23:57 between three and five I had been molested when I was an
24:00 infant and my mother and father separated when I was two
24:03 and they divorced.
24:05 Then when I was six was my molestation and then later on
24:07 there was more and I joined gangs and got into a lot of
24:10 things and had a lot of different addictions and
24:13 the more it went on the worse it got.
24:15 I couldn't trust people, I joined motorcycle gangs later
24:21 on even in my 30's it was still going, I came from
24:24 motorcycle gangs into the church.
24:27 I heard you were hard-core in gangs, in motorcycle groups?
24:32 I rode with some pretty hard-core boys, Hells Angels,
24:36 the Barons, there was a group called the Barons over in
24:39 Massachusetts all the way down to Florida actually.
24:42 They were very bad, I wouldn't join them because I didn't
24:46 like going out to hurt people.
24:47 If people came and wanted to fight, okay I was ready for that
24:50 but I didn't want to go out to just purposely hurt people.
24:53 Then I went out to Arizona, I kind of felt like it was the
24:57 environment that was the problem so I kept moving around.
25:01 I went down to Kentucky and then I went out to Arizona and
25:04 got in some trouble out there and went back to Kentucky and
25:08 that is when I first started to, I'm jumping around a lot.
25:12 I didn't cover a lot of things but that's when I realized
25:17 what I found out about the power of prayer.
25:19 Now jumping way back in 1956 my grandfather brought us to
25:24 church for three years and I was given a Bible for perfect
25:29 attendance and I carried that Bible with me through
25:32 everything, through the gang situation, even when I was in
25:36 a motorcycle gang. - why did you carry it?
25:38 I didn't then but I believe now, even in Vietnam I had
25:42 that Bible, I was a machine gun on a helicopter and
25:45 I always had that Bible with me.
25:46 I believe it was the only, I was very stubborn, very
25:50 hard to get through to, I didn't trust anybody anymore.
25:54 All my life everybody that I trusted that me down.
25:56 So I didn't trust anybody anymore and that Bible was the
26:00 only thing, I think the only connection that kept me with
26:03 God because I would pray, I don't know why and I didn't know
26:06 who to but I didn't realize the power of prayer and
26:09 I didn't realize how much that Bible meant.
26:11 I would pick it up and read it every once in while, but
26:15 it didn't make sense to me until later on when I was back
26:18 down in Kentucky with my dad.
26:20 We were alongside a road and we were putting pipe through
26:23 a road, underneath the road and we see a solid ledge.
26:26 He wanted to try it again after we tried it several times and
26:30 I'm saying this isn't going to work, we are just wasting
26:32 time and I'm handling these 200 pound things and I don't
26:34 want to do this no more.
26:36 Oh we forgot to pray he said. I said wait a minute
26:38 we are on a public road here, we're going
26:41 to pray, well okay.
26:43 So he said kneel down, were going to kneel down so
26:45 we kneel down and we pray and I'm pray that nobody comes by,
26:48 I don't want anybody to see me. Oh man I was embarrassed.
26:52 But we got down to put the thing through and it hits
26:55 again and see I told you this thing ain't going to work.
26:57 He said wait a second, just wait a second he pulled it
27:00 back out a little bit and put it back in and it went
27:03 through just like he was going through hot butter and
27:05 that's when prayer started to mean something to me.
27:07 From there on then things started to change.
27:10 I didn't change right then, I was still running with
27:14 motorcycle gangs, I did actually finally join one down
27:17 there in Kentucky, but things like the Sabbath,
27:19 I wouldn't do anything on the Sabbath.
27:21 When it came Friday sundown I told the boys I will see you
27:25 tomorrow night or something but it started to work on me.
27:28 Then I start watching things like Kenneth Cox tapes and
27:31 different things like that. - I love him, do you love him?
27:34 Oh yeah it's fantastic.
27:36 And that is what brought me into the situation I am in now.
27:39 I am so stubborn God literally had to put me flat on my face
27:43 several times in my life, I have been through several
27:46 careers because I am so stubborn and I believe that now
27:48 is the reason, He wanted to get my attention.
27:50 I wasn't giving it, having a hard time trusting I think
27:55 was the major issue but I would be doing good and
27:58 everything was going great and wham, I'm literally flat on
28:01 my back with injuries. I'm saying why me, why does
28:04 this have to happen to me?
28:05 I never blamed God, I always looked to okay, what am I doing?
28:09 There is something I am doing wrong so I never
28:12 blamed God even though for a long time I didn't know
28:14 about Him. I never blamed Him, I would talk to Him
28:17 and didn't know who I was talking to.
28:19 During all that time during that time you were running
28:22 and doing all this stuff and God was present enough that
28:25 when you turned with Him you knew that He was there.
28:28 And when I did turn to Him, how do I know this is for real?
28:32 Then He started showing me things in my mind and bringing
28:36 back things of times when there was no other way
28:38 I could have came out of it.
28:40 I should be alive today. - Exactly!
28:41 There is many times I should have been dead.
28:43 Okay you want to hold that because I want to get back to
28:45 you, okay Jeanette we didn't hear about you.
28:48 I know, first of all I know you're a criminologist,
28:52 you work with people in recovery, you're an incredible
28:56 woman of God that works in this area, but you have
29:00 your own story on top of that.
29:01 I have to say in the stories that I heard here today
29:04 have been very interesting and I also want the audience out
29:07 there to understand a lot of times that just the denial
29:10 of something is what makes the situation worse.
29:13 You know I have a child, I have one daughter and
29:16 she will be 17 next month.
29:17 It's interesting because I call her my miracle baby.
29:21 She came at a time where most women my age would have
29:25 aborted, she was my senior year college, I had a full
29:28 scholarship to law school and I had to decide whether
29:30 I was going to go to law school or have this baby when
29:33 I was a single mom.
29:34 The Lord let me know, the Lord and I made an agreement
29:38 that if this child was going to be my blessing, that God
29:42 was going to provide for me until she was an adult.
29:45 I agreed that I was going to go through with what God
29:49 wanted for me and I gave birth to her.
29:51 She was born two months early, she weighed 3 pounds and
29:56 everyone in that emergency room, the prenatal unit,
30:01 intensive care unit was worried about their children in
30:04 there because they're an incubator they are so fragile
30:07 they are tiny and fit in the palm of your hand and I was
30:10 the only mom that didn't care.
30:12 I would just walk in and they would ask why do you feel
30:14 so confident, because God doesn't give things to take them
30:17 away and they were surprised that I would say that because
30:20 I was the new mom at the time I was 25 years old and was
30:23 young and had never had a child before.
30:25 I was so confident when I walked into that unit and said
30:28 I would want to see my baby, pull her out of the incubator
30:31 and wrapped her around and cuddle her.
30:32 They would say aren't you afraid she might die?
30:35 Like I said I serve a God that doesn't take away
30:37 what He gives and I was always very confident
30:39 throughout her childhood.
30:41 But as the years went by was listened to Susan's story and
30:44 it was very impacting because I think a lot of Christian
30:47 families are suffering internally and not talking about
30:50 certain things that I believe are really hurting.
30:53 Just recently about a year and a half ago my daughter
30:57 started cutting herself and its devastating when you're
31:01 a counselor and to find out your sleeping a bedroom away
31:04 and find out that your own child is doing this.
31:07 Jeanette do you feel like you should have seen this,
31:09 should have seen some signs, I should've been there?
31:12 My reaction, you know me and you know how strong I am,
31:15 my daughter actually had her friend come over so
31:18 she could have the courage to show me her arms.
31:21 It's summertime and she's wearing long sleeves and
31:24 she says mom we have to tell you something.
31:26 So when I go back out to see what she had to tell me
31:29 she rolls up her sleeves and see her arms all cut up
31:32 and my reaction was to run out of the room screaming.
31:35 This is not the reaction you would have expected
31:37 a counselor to have but the devastation of remembering
31:40 that day when she was born saying God doesn't take away
31:43 what He gives you it is like I was answering,
31:46 I was asking God what is going on?
31:48 - knowing she could possibly take herself out. - exactly.
31:51 So the interesting thing about cutting is that it is
31:54 getting to the edge, not necessarily killing yourself.
31:57 I didn't understand as much about cutting at the time
31:59 and I started to do more research on it.
32:01 The fear that I had was in one of her cutting episodes
32:07 if she would cut a vein and end up dying.
32:09 The idea of losing the only child you have, any child for
32:13 that matter, it doesn't matter if you have 10 or 12, this
32:16 is a child that I believed was God was blessing me because
32:20 she was the one that brought me back to the Lord.
32:21 I had left the church for 13 years and my daughter says
32:23 mom I'm getting baptized and you need to be there.
32:25 I need your blessing.
32:27 She basically brought me back to Jesus and I
32:30 felt this was God's tool and I'm saying how could You bring
32:33 her in my life and then take her away, something is wrong
32:36 and I just didn't know.
32:37 Immediately the human side of you says, get her some help.
32:40 So the next day I am on the phone, I call the church,
32:43 I call the school, and I get the name of a therapist and
32:46 I get her in therapy right away.
32:48 Okay I'm feeling a little bit better because I'm doing
32:50 something, just our natural instinct. - you're not
32:52 feeling powerless. - I'm not feeling powerless and she has
32:54 a therapist and I think I'm doing something and it is good.
32:58 I'm talking to her and pray with her saying okay God I need
33:01 You in this and God and I we talked very down-to-earth.
33:05 I said God you have to work with me on this one.
33:07 I had asked God that if I was going to work with those
33:10 people that He felt was my responsibility, which was
33:13 working with addicts as you know, that He had to take care
33:16 of my only child and that was the agreement God and I had.
33:19 I was saying okay God have you failed me?
33:21 Have You come to the point where I am so busy
33:23 working with other people that you have forgotten me?
33:26 This is an agreement you and I had. - You forgot
33:28 to take care of my baby.
33:30 You forgot to take care of my baby, what is going on?
33:32 So the despair just gets out of hand and you don't know
33:34 what to do and so I then started taking her to therapy.
33:37 But the cutting continued and I said okay God
33:39 you are not listening. I'm talking about,
33:41 I'm screaming I'm not even praying anymore.
33:43 Talk about come boldly, I was screaming.
33:46 My family didn't even recognize me because I isolated
33:48 myself because I am a sociable person but when I get
33:51 into a situation like this I don't want anybody around me.
33:52 So I am not even on my knees, I have my head on the
33:56 floor going God this is it?
33:58 You either take me, but please don't
34:02 let me see my child kill herself because that is the
34:04 one thing I cannot bear.
34:05 So I came boldly before Him and said Lord you had to
34:08 work with me. - as you're talking what I want you to
34:11 think about too, and I know you know this.
34:13 There is a lot of people watching this show and a lot of
34:16 people that have kids acting out and are out of control,
34:18 or drugs, cutting and depressed or whatever.
34:22 Getting into lifestyles on same- sex relationship or whatever.
34:26 They are feeling the same way is that they want to throw
34:28 themselves on the ground so as you're talking you know
34:31 that you are talking to tons of folks?
34:32 Absolutely, and the interesting thing was I took her to her
34:36 Doctor, who also is a Christian Doctor,
34:38 and he prescribes some antidepressants.
34:39 They tried one and it was making her aggressive, for the
34:42 first time in her life she's beating people up I'm going
34:44 okay Lord this is not working out, work with me here.
34:47 So they changed her medication and now she is suicidal.
34:50 Just for people that are listening, for you guys, I know
34:53 her daughter and she is so sweet and so when she says
34:56 it's not like her, it's not like her.
35:00 Not at all, this child has never had a fistfight and she
35:02 is having a fistfight over lunch at school, over lunch.
35:06 She is fighting over food and she weighs what 90 pounds
35:09 so it doesn't make any sense.
35:12 I said okay if the medication and we decide to take her
35:14 off the medication and change it to another medication.
35:17 This medication is making her suicidal so the cutting is
35:19 getting worse and now she's talking about ending her life
35:22 and I called the elders of the church and they come and
35:24 pray with her and I'll literally trying
35:26 everything at this point.
35:27 You have never seen a mother so desperate then when your
35:30 child's life is at stake.
35:32 What I did finally is I said okay Lord, I need Your help.
35:35 That night I kept hearing the Lord speak to me and
35:38 He usually wakes me up at the time when He knows I'm not
35:40 awake, four in the morning the Lord keeps waking me up
35:42 and said okay Lord You have to be talking to me because You
35:44 know I don't get up at this time, what's up?
35:46 All He kept impressing me was about anointing, get her
35:50 anointed, get her anointed when all else fails try God.
35:53 Thinking to myself it's so simple, it's what we tell every
35:56 body but sometimes the obvious doesn't come to us Christians
35:59 as a first resort.
36:01 So here I was going okay what am I going to do with my
36:04 child, so I actually called the Pastor and the Pastor
36:06 said I don't think anointing is the right thing to do.
36:09 I said excuse me, you better bring the oil because
36:12 - bring that oil can I want this kid - you bring
36:15 that oil over here because because if you
36:17 don't anoint her, I will, some- body is going to anoint her.
36:19 Son called one of the female elders of the church
36:21 and she said I'll go and do it.
36:23 She was willing to do it but she called the Pastor and
36:26 the Pastor said okay fine I will go.
36:27 So he came over to the house and he anointed her and
36:31 she has not cut herself since Cheri.
36:33 I praise God for this, I know there are times when we
36:37 start to blame ourselves, our first reaction is to blame
36:40 ourselves, where did I go wrong, what didn't I see?
36:44 But the bottom line, it doesn't matter whose fault it is,
36:47 what the bottom line is who can heal this body?
36:49 I and I have to say I love my daughter dearly and if she is
36:53 watching she better know this because to me that was
36:56 probably the most devastating, I'm talking about even at
36:58 her birth being 3 pounds didn't scare me as much as
37:02 seeing my child cutting herself.
37:04 That was more than I could bear, so I can just imagine
37:07 what your family is going through because honestly it is
37:10 devastating, even when I hear other people talk about
37:14 cutting or even families mentioning it I relive that
37:17 moment in my mind, it's just devastating, it's devastating.
37:20 It is so devastating so I just know that if there is an
37:23 audience out there that is going through similar stuff,
37:26 they need to really put this at the foot of the Jesus and
37:28 need to let God be the One to take control because guess what?
37:32 He made you, He is the only One that can fix you.
37:34 I said God if she is going to be for Your glory You have
37:38 got to fix this child because that is Your child, more than
37:42 my child, that is Your child.
37:43 Amen so this show, what's really going to be interesting is we
37:47 are going to close out this show in a different way
37:48 then we ever did before.
37:50 I want to go ahead and teach on the Holy Spirit,
37:53 talk a little bit about anointing and Jeannette
37:56 I would like you to sit up here with me and if you want
37:58 to throw anything in, just jump in.
38:00 But first of all I want to start out with is I had chased
38:05 my recovery for a long time, trying to do the right thing.
38:08 I'm a heroine addict, I had depression, I have genetic
38:11 stuff, I have attachment disorders, and bonding disorders
38:14 and don't know how to trust and all that stuff.
38:16 Homeless for 10 years, I didn't have any skills and didn't
38:19 have anything to pull from and Betty you are talking about
38:24 that sense of being alone, I thought Satan would nail me
38:28 with this image that I was going to die homeless
38:31 on the streets of LA pushing a shopping cart around and
38:34 I would be so afraid, I don't want to die alone.
38:38 It was so scary to me and it was so powerful and
38:41 I remember thinking God, I'm okay I'll try this,
38:44 I'll try this next book.
38:45 I will read some more or have somebody tell me some
38:49 thing and I will try to figure something out.
38:51 And after 20 some years He says, I want to empower you to
38:57 change your life, and I started to really get that
39:00 empowerment to change my life was to get anointed
39:03 and to get baptized through the Holy Spirit to understand
39:07 what Christ meant when He left and said, I'm leaving but
39:11 I want to send to you the Holy Spirit to fill you up,
39:14 to help you get victory over all this junk and I'm thinking
39:18 wait a minute I thought to give victory overall this junk
39:21 was to get good counselor, to get into a good 12 step
39:24 group, to get in a support group or whatever and God says
39:28 you know what, I think God told me I want to heal you.
39:31 I want to be your counselor, I want to be your friend
39:34 I want to be what brings you into recovery.
39:35 So I started to try to get people to anoint me and I am so
39:39 ridiculous, I'm like an addict in recovery and I'm out
39:42 lunch and a little flaky.
39:43 People don't want to work with me, you know that, it is so
39:47 true, I am not exaggerating so I'm telling people you know
39:51 what excuse me Betty would you anoint me because
39:54 I want to be anointed.
39:55 They would tell me you know I don't know can I do that
39:58 or whatever. Mark you work for the conference would
40:02 you anoint me, just pour some oil on me,
40:03 I would like to speak in tongues too because
40:05 travel to different countries
40:06 and I need to know other languages because I minister
40:09 to people and they are looking at me like I don't know
40:12 I mean I grabbed people and one time I am in a Christian
40:15 bookstore and I look over on the shelf and
40:19 there is anointing oil.
40:20 Oh my goodness, you wouldn't believe it.
40:24 I thought if I could ever find someone to anoint me
40:26 I better have some oil just in case they don't have some.
40:31 So I looked at the price $4.95. Shut up how fun is that?
40:36 $4.95 so I buy some and now when I say Mark excuse me would
40:40 you anoint me I had some oil? I would say that to people.
40:44 Oh Jeanette we are friends, I have some oil have you ever
40:48 anointed someone? And I remember just having the oil and
40:51 kept it in the pockets of my jeans or whatever I had on.
40:55 So I had it in my pocket just in case and one day I get
40:58 called to do a mission trip and I want to be anointed
41:01 before I go, I couldn't find any one to anoint me yet, and I am
41:05 in the bathroom and I have in my hand and I'm telling you
41:08 I wanted to be anointed because I believe the Bible talks
41:11 about the power of the Holy Spirit and what God wants to
41:14 pour into us, I believe it is on every page.
41:16 I just wanted it, there were something in me that just
41:19 wanted someone to anoint me.
41:20 I just felt like you know what God? I'm going to anoint
41:25 myself, is that all right?
41:27 I don't even know if that is legal, I don't know if you're
41:30 going to accept that but I beg You please be here.
41:33 So in the bathroom of my house I slap some oil on my
41:36 forehead and said a prayer, on my hands because I said God
41:38 I want You to anoint everything I touch, I want You to
41:41 anoint everything I bring into my life.
41:43 I want you to change me and all the things that
41:45 I fight with and struggle with.
41:46 I beg you, I beg you so I anointed myself and I felt
41:51 fabulous. - I think it is just the desire to give
41:54 ourselves entirely to God, there have been times
41:58 when they pass around the offering plate
42:00 I want to put myself in the there.
42:01 It's like what can I give God that He doesn't already have?
42:05 I would like to get into the offering plate.
42:08 Yeah the deacons can't carry that much weight
42:10 but honestly that is how I feel sometimes.
42:12 You know being in God's work you want to give so much
42:16 that what else can you give? There is not enough in my purse
42:20 that I can give that God would, as far as I am concerned,
42:23 be satisfied, He wants me.
42:25 That's why I am serious I just want to jump in the offering
42:28 plate and say Lord I'm here, it's all of me take it.
42:32 I know it's a little dysfunctional and a little
42:33 ADD, but work with me.
42:35 Well you know what I'm finding out, and were going to go
42:38 to this one, and please I'm not a good teacher.
42:44 I'm not even thinking I'm a good Christian, I just love God.
42:48 And He just loves me and so we are going to go and talk
42:51 about what Christ said when He left is that I want to give
42:54 you the Holy Spirit, I want to fill you up, I want to give
42:57 you victory and the joy of the Lord to be your strength.
43:01 I want to so fill you up that every day you will so almost
43:04 thrilled just to be alive.
43:06 I want to delight in you, sing over you when you sleep.
43:09 All of those things, so I started to look at what is the
43:12 Holy Spirit, what does that mean?
43:13 I'm just going to share with you a little bit of what
43:16 God shared with me when I got anointed.
43:18 The first place is Galatians 5:22, and 5:22 talks about
43:24 the Holy Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit.
43:27 What is amazing to me about that whole thing is that it
43:30 says in 22 "but the fruit of the Spirit is love, Joy,
43:34 "peace, long-suffering, kindness goodness, faithfulness,
43:37 "gentleness, and self-control," oh please give me some of
43:41 that, "Self-control and against such there is no law."
43:45 And I started to look into all of this stuff and
43:48 I get all kinds of books.
43:49 I want to know the original language, what does that mean
43:51 by that, so I want to go over some of the fruits of the Spirit
43:55 Because even with your daughter, even with everybody that
43:58 has talked about doing recovery and what they have dealt
44:01 with, being adopted, being abandoned, and all that stuff
44:05 is that the first thing that God says, if you asked Me to
44:08 fill you up with the Holy Spirit, it is as if Christ is
44:12 literally living in us, God living in us.
44:15 That is what helps people to get victory.
44:18 So the first thing in the Holy Spirit is love, right?
44:21 That is the first fruit of the Spirit.
44:23 I thought what kind of love, so you go back to the
44:26 original language on that kind of thing and what kind of
44:29 love to you think they are talking about? - Godly love.
44:31 Agape love, Godly love and so I am thinking, I have never been
44:35 loved growing up, when I was on the streets the love I saw
44:40 and the stuff I saw on the streets, the relationship
44:42 addiction's and all the junk.
44:43 You see it every day and what you do as far as counseling.
44:46 All that stuff I saw was not agape love, right?
44:50 I for twenty something years in the first part of my recovery
44:54 tried to find it, try to find it within myself.
44:57 Finally the Holy Spirit says you don't even have it in
44:59 yourself, it is not something you have.
45:02 It is not something you can pull up, but I will pour it
45:06 into you freely, freely.
45:08 I'm thinking, Oh shut up, God freely?
45:12 You would give me this as a free gift?
45:16 He said every day, every day but you have to ask Me.
45:20 You have to ask Me every day, not once every 20 years,
45:24 not when you first get saved, but every day.
45:28 I think the only reason He says that every day, is because
45:31 we forget we need it.
45:33 Every day agape love and He says I will pour it into you
45:37 and it will change who you are.
45:39 This is amazing to me and I've just got to read this.
45:42 This is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 if you want to follow me on
45:46 that. It's talking about love.
45:48 "Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious,
45:53 "never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish, or rude
45:58 "and love does not demand its own way." - I need that.
46:01 Because you know I can demand my own way at times.
46:04 "It is not irritable, or touchy, it does not hold grudges
46:07 "and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong."
46:11 That is amazing to me. "It is never glad about injustice
46:15 "but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. If you love
46:18 "somebody you will be loyal to them no matter what the cost
46:22 "is, you will always believe in him or her and always express
46:25 "the best for him or her and always stand your ground
46:28 "to defend them."
46:30 And I'm thinking what an amazing thing, what an amazing thing.
46:33 So love is the first thing He gives us and I think in that
46:36 gift of love when God says I pour in agape love, we start
46:40 feeling less lonely, more connected to God and it is not
46:45 something I do or get counseling of, or read about or
46:48 understand, is what happens with the baptism of the Holy
46:51 Spirit, with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit because
46:55 of this agape love.
46:56 It's amazing to me, the next one is joy.
46:59 Hello, I smoked weed to get joy but God says that joy that
47:03 you think you're going to find by smoking weed, cutting on
47:07 yourself, getting on porn line getting another woman that is
47:11 hot, I mean all that stuff, that joy is never going to be
47:15 the same joy is what I am talking about.
47:17 Your soul is looking for the joy that I am talking about.
47:21 You don't have it within you to muster it up, I will pour
47:24 it into you, I will give it to you, that's second fruit.
47:27 The third is peace, does anybody need some peace?
47:31 It is huge, absolutely huge, so the next one is peace.
47:35 The next one after that on the fruit of the Spirit is
47:38 long-suffering, what does that mean?
47:41 That's why I think it is funny because some of these
47:43 I don't even know the fruit of long-suffering causes its
47:46 recipient to have forbearance, self-restraint before they
47:50 proceed with actions, to refrain from avenging ourselves.
47:53 You know long-suffering with somebody, if somebody says
47:57 something that wrongs me within my own nature I want to
48:00 pay them back, and sometimes we pay them back by hurting
48:03 ourselves, sometimes we pay them back by doing stuff
48:06 that absolutely is destructive, absolutely.
48:10 God says I will pour into you long-suffering, the ability
48:14 not to have to avenge yourself, to give it to Me.
48:16 The next fruit He talks about is gentleness.
48:18 That is so amazingly cool. The quality of this gentleness
48:23 and kindness is absolutely amazing.
48:25 The next one is goodness, and to me I look at them as the
48:28 same thing and God says they are really different and
48:31 I will teach you the difference of what it means.
48:33 The next one is faith, my absolute favorite one.
48:36 I will give you faith, a deep abiding and firm conviction
48:40 in Me, in how God works, and how all that stuff comes
48:44 about and works and God says, I will give you that.
48:48 I will fill you up with that, and what is really strange
48:51 to me? When I do something like this, and I am so out of
48:55 my element, this is really tough to put a show together
48:58 and have people come on and everybody dealing with
49:00 different issues and people being in different places in
49:02 their spiritual walk. - That' were faith starts out.
49:04 That's where faith starts out, God will pull it together.
49:08 It's amazing when I opened up the halfway house there were
49:10 a lot of things, a lot of challenges that we met up front.
49:13 But it is amazing when you leap out in faith,
49:16 one of the first things I did before I opened the doors
49:18 is I anointed the house.
49:20 I anointed the house but not just the house, every single
49:24 bed, and the anointing was that if this was going to be
49:27 for God that everyone that came through there would
49:31 at least find peace, if nothing else.
49:34 So as they come out it is interesting because every single
49:37 person that has come out of prison and has ended up in that
49:40 house will say, it's not the Hilton but there is a lot of
49:43 peace here, and I said you know what? that little bottle of
49:47 oil goes a long way.
49:48 Sometimes you think it has to be a big event, but just that.
49:51 There's nothing magic in oil, what is magic is in
49:55 the promise of what the oil represents.
49:57 The oil represents a dedication of something.
49:59 The Holy Spirit. - absolutely you are dedicating
50:02 whatever or whomever it is to the Lord in whatever we do.
50:06 It doesn't matter whether it is a new car or house that you
50:09 just bought, even our home when we buy, we dedicate our home
50:12 to God because everything that we have belongs to Him.
50:15 That is what you are doing, you are anointing yourself and
50:18 saying I belong to Him, and everything I do is His.
50:21 Faith is something again we can't muster up, can't muster up
50:25 When you're talking about that when I read in the Bible,
50:28 and I wish I could know offhand where this is,
50:30 but when I read in the Bible the woman with the issue of blood.
50:34 This woman has been bleeding for like 14 years, right?
50:39 14 years, in that culture when you bleed even on your period,
50:42 you were considered unclean and couldn't touch anyone and
50:46 couldn't be around anybody, and I think of loneliness
50:49 and rejection issues at all the junk I deal with.
50:52 This woman couldn't even be touched for 14 years.
50:55 Couldn't be around her family, couldn't have anybody say,
50:58 I'm so sorry what you're going through.
51:00 Couldn't get any comfort and she hears that Christ can
51:04 heal her, and He is going by her and she knows she could
51:07 be stoned to death if she even asked Him.
51:09 Excuse me but can You heal me?
51:11 So she says, if I just fall on the ground and
51:15 somehow get to Him and touch the Him I will be healed.
51:18 That's the gift of faith that God poured into her.
51:21 She got on the ground and she touched Him when He went by
51:24 just the hem of His garment, just a little bit of the bottom
51:27 of His clothes and she said I felt totally healed.
51:31 Christ turns around and says, who touched me?
51:34 But that is the faith and God said you cannot muster that up.
51:37 You can't bring that up within yourself that kind of faith.
51:40 I have to give it to you as a gift and it comes through the
51:43 Holy Spirit, but I died and went back to My Father so you
51:46 could have the Holy Spirit, so ask Me, ask Me!
51:49 It is all you have to do, the Bible also says I so want to
51:52 give you the Holy Spirit more than a parent wants to give
51:56 all good gifts to their children,
51:58 I want to pour it into you.
52:00 That's what this whole thing is about, for you to be
52:02 equipped with the Holy Spirit. So faith is an amazing thing.
52:06 Meekness, mildness, and meekness doesn't mean that I turn
52:11 into a wimp or something, do you know what I mean?
52:13 The fruit of meekness brings a mildness and forbearance
52:19 it is more of an inward grace.
52:21 It's like I actually... The way Christ responded to
52:25 someone, that I actually am gifted with the ability to
52:29 respond to somebody in that way.
52:31 What is amazing is all those gifts of the Holy Spirit,
52:35 Jeanette what do you think of all those gifts, the Holy
52:39 Spirit, the anointing and what God has given us, will take
52:44 any of the issues we deal with and make them not easier,
52:50 because issues are so tough, but put hope in there.
52:53 For the first time in my life, once I understand the Holy
52:56 Spirit and the giftings and what God wants to do with that,
52:59 I have hope. - We talk about faith and we talk about on the
53:03 surface because we put more faith in the therapists and
53:06 medication then in the One who heals.
53:09 And it's amazing that we can have so much faith that if
53:11 I take this little pill I'm going to feel better, or if
53:14 I go to this Doctor is to make, but we don't put faith
53:17 in the Doctor of doctors and say you know Lord,
53:20 You need to handle this.
53:21 We are literally running out of time, we are so out of
53:25 time I want to say you know what, you have to hear me with
53:28 this is that the only thing that truly will actually heal
53:31 us, I'm not putting down doctors, therapists or anything,
53:34 medications we all need those at times and I understand
53:37 that but God says the Holy Spirit and the death of Christ
53:40 and the blood of Christ and all the promises I have given
53:43 you, that brings healing.
53:45 That brings healing and not only temporary healing,
53:47 I would change the very desires that you have,
53:50 and I would change the stuff and anger that dwells
53:53 in you that makes you want to cut, I will change
53:55 the things that get you insecure enough or stressed out
53:58 where you need to be on porn.
53:59 I will change all the junk because I will so fill
54:02 you up with these gifts that you will be a man or woman of
54:06 God filled with joy and loving life.
54:08 We will be right back stay with us.
54:14 Amazing stories, real people in real situations discussing
54:18 issues that really matter.
54:20 A complete first season of Celebrating Life In Recover is
54:23 now available on DVD and can be ordered by calling 3ABN
54:27 or online at 3ABN.org hosted by Cheri Peters.
54:30 This season follows principles of the book
54:33 'Steps to Christ'.
54:34 See for yourself how God changed the lives of the
54:36 convicted and the accused and victims of terrible crimes.
54:39 You won't want to miss a moment
54:41 of these powerful interviews.
54:48 I absolutely love the topic of the Holy Spirit.
54:51 I love the way God works with us.
54:53 I love the way God steps into our life and it doesn't
54:56 matter the story because everyone has one.
54:58 You heard everybody here on the set, and I told you about
55:00 the guy that had the job with darts and he threw them at
55:03 that map and each go anywhere in the United States and
55:06 somebody would have a story.
55:07 God says the stories aren't a big deal to Me, and I don't
55:10 want to discount what people deal with, cutting is a huge
55:13 deal, depression, anger.
55:15 I have dealt with people from domestic violence to
55:18 all the way to people who have murdered their spouses and
55:21 all that stuff and God says you know what? I want to heal you.
55:24 I want to heal you and you don't have it in you to do this
55:28 so I need to pour my Holy Spirit into you and I need to
55:31 change the very way you think and all those things and
55:34 I want to do that, I long to do that.
55:36 We want to judge each other and say that so-and-so has gone
55:42 too far or whatever and God says if you breathing
55:44 you have not gone too far.
55:46 I love the statements in Steps To Christ, in Steps To
55:49 Christ it says, in the massive gift of God's son, and I want
55:53 to say God's Son and the Holy Spirit, God has encircled the
55:57 whole world with an atmosphere of grace.
55:59 As real as the air that circulates around the globe.
56:03 All who choose to breathe this life-giving atmosphere will
56:06 grow into the statue of men and women in Jesus Christ.
56:10 And she goes on to say as the flower turns to the sun,
56:13 the bright beams of the sun may bring out all the colors
56:17 and beauty and symmetry of this flower we should turn to God and
56:20 say, God fill me up, fill me up and change everything.
56:26 I want so much for You to change me, I'm so twisted the
56:30 way I think is twisted, I don't know how to deal with
56:33 anger, I don't know how to do with any of that stuff and
56:36 I need You to heal me.
56:38 And when I talk about the anointing of the Holy Spirit,
56:41 when we talk about baptism of the Holy Spirit, it's simple,
56:44 all you have to do is by the side of your bed kneel down and
56:47 say. I want You, I want You to fill me up with the Holy
56:49 Spirit and I don't want to deal with this anymore.
56:52 I want to go so far beyond my original baptism that
56:55 I am forever changed.
56:56 And with the Holy Spirit comes all the fruit of the
56:58 Holy Spirit and that's love, joy, peace,
57:02 long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith and meekness.
57:07 Wow! I just love that because God says I am going to fill
57:10 you up, I'm going to change you, I'm going to equip you
57:14 with everything you need in order to have the life
57:17 you have always longed for.
57:18 Things that you try to escape will never work but the
57:22 Holy Spirit of God will work and you will feel the joy of
57:25 the Lord and it will be your strength and
57:26 it will change everything.
57:28 We have to go and I want you to know that I was blessed
57:32 by the show and I hope you were.
57:33 We will see you next time and until then always
57:36 remember that God is crazy about you, me too,
57:39 absolutely crazy about you.


Revised 2014-12-17