Participants:
Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000026S
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00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity. 00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated. 00:12 He is not afraid to show his love. 00:16 He is a caring provider. 00:20 And he's a kind spiritual leader. 00:22 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart. 00:28 Hi, welcome to A Father's Heart. 00:29 I'm your host Xavier. 00:31 And today, we're going to be discussing 00:32 how do your sons treat their wives 00:35 if you yourself never had a father in your life? 00:38 And at the same time, 00:40 how did the wives treat their husbands 00:42 if your daughters never had a father to show them? 00:46 And with me to discuss that is going to be my friend Gordon 00:49 and my lovely wife, Brittany Hill Morales. 00:52 How are you today? I'm doing well. 00:54 Doing good. Awesome. 00:55 So, you know, one of the things 00:57 that I always think about is, 01:00 if your son and you, 01:04 you don't have this great relationship, 01:05 but you ended up yourself 01:07 never had a father to have that relationship with? 01:09 How do you teach your son how to treat his wife, 01:12 and at the same time, if you, you know, as my wife, 01:15 if you had never had a father in your life 01:18 to show you how to treat your husband? 01:19 How does that work? 01:21 I think the first thing, I mean, for me, 01:24 is to have that counseling, a premarital counseling, 01:29 and hopefully you have a good pastor or a counselor 01:32 that teaches you these things 01:34 that takes you through the process, 01:35 so that when you are solid, 01:37 then you can pass on what you know, 01:40 because you really can't share what you don't know. 01:43 But it starts 01:44 with that premarital counseling, 01:46 I think that's a very important part of, 01:49 you know, just being able to get 01:51 the tools that you need. 01:52 There's so many tools, so many tools out there, 01:54 there's so many stuff out there 01:55 that you yourself can go seeking as to 01:59 how do I, you know, how do I teach my child? 02:02 How do I teach myself how to be a better husband? 02:05 How so that I can help my son or my daughter 02:09 find the right spouse, I tell you, for us, 02:12 well, I go away biblical on this one, in this way, 02:16 is that for my son, for him to find a good wife, 02:19 he's got to come to a mother and father. 02:22 We're looking for that, 02:23 we are actively looking for a spouse 02:29 of a spouse's for my children. 02:30 And we have, they know this from small, 02:33 and we make no excuses 02:34 that you're not bringing anyone here 02:36 unless they're part of the family 02:39 that mesh with the family. 02:40 So we're involved, my son said to me, 02:42 "Well, dad, can I at least choose?" 02:45 I said, "Well. 02:47 Yeah, you can choose, bring that individual. 02:50 And then they will get the stamp of approval." 02:53 If they don't get the stamp of approval, 02:54 it's not going to work. 02:56 So that's just some of the things that we do 02:58 so that we can help them navigate life and future. 03:03 If you bring somebody in the family, and they're not, 03:07 you know, they don't mesh nicely with the family, 03:10 it can be a lot of problem, a lot of tension. 03:12 So that's one of the things we want to do, 03:14 we're trying to do with our children. 03:16 I don't know if you have something to add. 03:18 I do in regards to how do you teach, 03:22 talking about fathers teaching their daughters 03:25 what they should expect. 03:27 I think the first thing that needs to happen 03:30 is you have to ask God, 03:32 if you're a spiritual father, spiritual leader, 03:36 even as a mother, 03:37 you have to go to God and talk to Him personally. 03:39 And when I say ask God, I am saying, 03:42 search in the scriptures because that is good. 03:45 But we have a thing where we don't talk to God, 03:49 we do every other thing, 03:50 but we don't actually sit down and say, 03:52 "Lord, this is what's going on in my heart." 03:54 This is the issue, 03:55 and actually pray and listen back 03:58 to hear what God has to say, 03:59 to have 04:01 that personal relationship with Him. 04:02 That's the first thing to ask God. 04:04 And in that, 04:06 when you're asking God 04:07 with the presence of your daughter there, 04:09 you're teaching her three things. 04:11 First thing is how, 04:13 you're teaching her how to pray for her spouse. 04:17 And that's something 04:18 that doesn't just naturally come, 04:20 they have to experience and learn that, 04:21 how do you pray for your spouse. 04:23 The next thing, 04:24 you're teaching them how to pray with a man, 04:27 with a person. 04:28 They are so much dirty things going on in this world, 04:33 that people are abusing the power 04:36 and the beauty of prayer, 04:37 that as a father, 04:39 when you're talking to your child, 04:41 and both of you're going to God about this relationship 04:44 that hasn't happened yet or even if it has happened, 04:47 you're teaching her, okay, this is how, 04:48 this is what prayer or not supposed to look like. 04:51 And the third thing, you're also teaching her, 04:54 what does it mean to ask someone else to pray over me? 04:57 Because again, the case of spiritual abuse. 05:01 There are some men 05:02 that when they're praying over their wife 05:04 to say the Lord, 05:05 help her to learn how to submit to me. 05:08 The Lord help her learn how to cook better. 05:10 What he wants, don't think that can work, 05:12 but she is from that experience, 05:14 you may not have had a father to teach you that. 05:17 But as a father, you can be able to say, 05:19 "Okay, these are the three things 05:20 that I'm trying to show you by us praying," 05:23 using prayer, 05:24 asking God as that separate thing 05:25 to be like, this is important, 05:27 relationship with guy is important. 05:28 For God to be the center of their relationship, 05:31 you have to show that from the beginning 05:33 as having God as the center of relationship as a father 05:35 and a daughter, father and a son, too. 05:38 I think that is important, I agree with Brittany 05:40 that prayer is important key and if you're not modeling, 05:44 we talked about this in previous visit. 05:46 If you as a father not modeling that 05:48 that child wouldn't know how to model a prayer. 05:51 And yes, being able to pray for a spouse, 05:56 for your child and have your child, 05:59 your son or your daughter see and hear you praying, 06:02 because it's one thing to be on your knees just praying, 06:05 but they need to hear the prayers, 06:07 they need to hear the prayers and devotion. 06:09 They need to hear it throughout, 06:11 you know, their life growing up 06:12 where they know, my dad and my mom, 06:14 they're praying for me to have this spouse. 06:18 So in other words, 06:19 they're praying for my success in life 06:22 for my future spouse. 06:23 And I appreciate that in something you said earlier, 06:26 I appreciate your involvement with your son, 06:28 because, you know, 06:29 I went through different relationships 06:31 that really that I could have avoided, 06:34 you know, because your parents don't want to be overbearing, 06:37 because you're an adult, but at the same time, 06:39 they don't know how to approach it. 06:40 And I think it's key to have that balance 06:42 with your child to know that, 06:44 hey, I'm not going to control you. 06:46 But I'm going to be involved, not because you don't know, 06:50 but because I've been here longer. 06:52 So I have an understanding, and I want the best for you. 06:55 And I think as a father, you know, when my parents got, 06:58 you know, when I got the stamp of approval 07:00 with my wife now, 07:02 it meant the world to me, 07:04 because, you know, 07:05 they've been married for 40 years. 07:08 And to get a stamp of approval, 07:10 which I never had before, it just meant the world 07:12 because I know it's coming from people 07:14 that have been there, 07:16 they understand that knowing just one the best, 07:18 you know, and let's throw on the flip side, 07:22 as ministers, what, or as counselors, 07:26 however you want to call it, 07:28 how do you deal with a child or somebody, 07:31 adult that's coming to you? 07:33 I don't know your backgrounds as far as if you know, 07:36 your dad's involvement in your life? 07:38 How do you deal with? 07:40 The same with my wife, how do you deal with a woman 07:42 that's coming to you 07:43 who hasn't had a father in her life, 07:46 if she wants to know 07:47 how do I even know if I have the right guy? 07:49 How do I treat my husband? 07:51 I don't know, my father was never there. 07:53 I don't know what to do 07:54 and I'm praying I'm doing what I can, 07:56 but I just don't know. 07:59 Go ahead. Go ahead. 08:01 Okay, I'll go ahead. 08:03 Well, the first step is the fact that she came 08:06 and she said something 08:07 and being able to admit that you don't know 08:10 is an important first step. 08:12 That's one thing I just said as counselors. 08:15 This is a challenging area, 08:17 when we have clients and patients 08:19 is them not being able to admit that there's a problem, 08:22 and you're seeing the problem. 08:24 So that's a beautiful green flat great, 08:27 green like great. 08:29 But how should she approach it is again, 08:33 you know, asking God, speaking to God 08:34 and having that relationship 08:36 if she's a person of the Christian faith. 08:40 Seeking the scriptures, 08:42 the different sort of advice I will probably give is based 08:45 on the different levels of research, 08:47 I will probably reference a few different resources 08:50 because marriage professionals, 08:53 marriage and family therapy professionals, 08:55 they have done so much research 08:57 that's gone for over 100 years, 08:59 over 100 years 09:00 on the different keys to a relationship 09:03 and helping it to be successful. 09:06 So like, don't be afraid to go into and to listen, 09:09 there are new things that I'm learning every day 09:13 that's helping our relationship. 09:15 There are new things that are just developing. 09:18 And one thing I would pop, 09:21 would most likely tell her is this. 09:23 You have to accept the reality of sin. 09:27 You cannot ignore that sin is a factor 09:30 in each and every one of our lives, 09:32 including herself and including in her spouse 09:36 or her significant 09:37 other the person she's working with. 09:39 We hear all these lists of great qualities in a person, 09:43 they should be this, they should be that, 09:44 they should be this, they should be that. 09:46 But that may not be 09:49 where your significant other is. 09:51 And you have to accept the reality 09:53 that sin has marred our nature 09:56 and the perfect ability that we should have. 09:58 And yes, you would want certain things, 10:01 but you have to accept 10:02 that he's not going to be there, 10:03 or it might take a few years. 10:05 And you also have to accept that you have to work together 10:07 in that journey. 10:10 As a pastor and a family life educator, 10:12 one of the things that I do is to help people 10:15 to go to the scriptures for references. 10:17 And not only that, look at Titus, 10:20 what is the role of the old women in the church? 10:25 The older women is to teach the younger women. 10:28 And so I connect them with a strong couple 10:32 that has been through. 10:34 And I do this on a regular basis 10:36 so I will collect the younger couples 10:37 with older couples 10:39 so that they can help them or a younger person 10:42 that is looking to get married, 10:44 or if their marriage are in trouble, 10:46 connect them with an older couple, 10:47 that they can help them, they can talk with them, 10:49 they can mentor them. 10:51 It is one of the pivotal things I believe that we need to do 10:55 and keep doing to help our people, 10:58 young ladies and young men, 11:01 help them find the right spouse, 11:04 help them develop strong healthy relationships, 11:08 is by being able to put them alongside a couple, 11:12 I believe that the Bible has given us 11:14 some strong counsel on this 11:17 is that the older should teach the younger. 11:20 And I think why we're so messed up 11:22 is because we missed that. 11:24 You see, I agree with that. 11:25 And that's one of the things 11:26 that I wanted to talk about a little more 11:29 is I've had my dad model his life, you know, 11:35 around my mom, I would watch him interact in, 11:39 you know, in a society in Puerto Rico, 11:41 socially, you grow up in a patriarchal setting 11:43 where the wife does everything, cooking, cleaning in, 11:48 but my mom and dad were not about that. 11:51 My mom said you need to be able to, 11:53 because what if your wife gets sick? 11:54 You got to be able to cook. 11:56 You know what if she's tired? 11:57 What she shouldn't be able to do everything? 11:59 My dad would say when I was, 12:01 "Boy, you better get into a kitchen 12:02 and start cleaning and cooking. 12:04 You know, get my belt down 12:05 and I'll show you what a man does." 12:07 I'm like, "Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'll go, I'll go." 12:09 You know, I had to learn both spectrums of, 12:12 but looking at their relationship 12:13 and how they communicated and how they grew together, 12:16 they went through, 12:17 there was a period in time 12:18 where they were going to get divorced. 12:20 But something that they ingrained in me 12:22 that I never understood until now 12:25 was that what saved their marriage 12:26 aside from prayer 12:28 was their friendship that they had at the beginning 12:31 as friends, before they got married, 12:32 they were a longtime friends. 12:34 And I had the benefit of having done modeling 12:37 in my life, 12:38 even though I chose to go a different route. 12:41 And I took the scenic route to get to the right place. 12:44 What about you? 12:45 Did you have that modeling from your father in your life? 12:49 I had the modeling from my father in my life, 12:52 so it was easier for me. 12:54 But along the line, 12:56 I have seen the side effects of not having it. 13:00 For example, just to share two quick stories 13:02 if you guys don't mind. 13:04 My sister when she got married, 13:06 I could remember as yesterday, 13:08 my dad and my mom 13:10 saying this is not the right person for you. 13:13 Trying to help her but she decided you know what, 13:16 get him for me 'cause he please me well, 13:19 and marriage did not work. 13:22 Things did not end up well. 13:25 So even though you may model something for your child, 13:29 a child sometimes chooses their own route in life, 13:33 and it ends up sometimes not the best. 13:37 So in my life, my father and my mother 13:40 been married all their lives until my father passed away. 13:44 Their marriage was a commuter relationship, 13:46 commuter marriage because my father worked away. 13:49 And then, you know, he would come home on weekends. 13:51 But when he was home, he was present. 13:53 He was there. 13:54 He was not a father that was not there 13:56 when he was there. 13:58 So the model I saw how he treated, 14:00 I've never seen my mother and my father argue once, 14:05 never in all the years of my life. 14:08 So I've same thing, 14:10 I try not to have arguments with my wife, 14:13 right we don't have any arguments. 14:15 Well, it's just amazing before we had arguments, 14:18 because on the flip side, 14:20 my wife did not have that modeling as a father. 14:25 And her mother was her friend. 14:28 It was a chaotic, you know, it ended up were not nice, 14:33 chaotic results. 14:35 So modeling is important. 14:38 And so, right now 14:39 the balance that we have to have 14:42 in our home 14:43 because of her spectrum and my spectrum 14:46 is that we merge these two things together, 14:47 and they end up beautiful, 14:49 because she knows 14:50 that I don't want to be a friend to my children 14:52 and their mother, 14:53 so I'm going to carry on that role. 14:56 And what she had to do as she went through counseling 14:59 for years to correct some of our ideologies, 15:05 the brokenness that she experienced. 15:09 And I was there as the husband to stand with her, 15:14 and then help her through her process. 15:17 I didn't get into the process, I just stand with her. 15:19 So on both sides, I've seen and experience, 15:23 you know, what it means to have a father in your life, 15:26 even though it wasn't seven days a week. 15:31 But when he was there, he was in a relationship. 15:34 And so my choices was a little different. 15:37 My wife, on the flip side, she didn't have the same. 15:43 What about you? 15:44 Just thinking about 15:46 you saying the importance of counseling 15:48 and having that moment to correct wrong ideologies. 15:52 And I also hear there was a process in it, 15:56 it is not something that happened overnight. 15:58 And that's one thing as parents to train your child to realize, 16:05 things don't happen overnight. 16:07 It's a process, it's a journey. 16:10 And you have to figure out if you're willing to deal 16:12 with these certain elements in the journey. 16:15 And it's a difficult skill to accept for yourself, 16:19 and then to teach your child, 16:20 this is the reality of life, honey, 16:22 he may not be perfect, 16:24 he may have his own backgrounds, 16:26 his own understanding, his own thing, 16:29 but you have to work through it. 16:31 And I think one important element 16:33 as a parent, is, you have to accept that. 16:39 So when your child comes and says, 16:41 well, so and so has this ideology. 16:43 Oh, I know, you should have never married that. 16:44 You can't, you cannot act like that. 16:47 You have to accept that reality 16:48 and be supportive and realize that it is no longer your baby. 16:54 This is a grown, married adult now. 16:57 And the information, the wisdom, 16:59 the guidance that you give, 17:00 you have to give from that perspective of, 17:02 yes, in my heart, 17:03 you're still my little baby, my little wiener. 17:05 But that's not what's happening right now. 17:07 They're an adult, 17:09 and you have to allow them to figure out 17:12 what is their cup of tea, because this, 17:15 you may look at your friend's face 17:16 and be like, oh, that should be your... 17:18 No, that's not their cup of tea, 17:19 that's not their cup to bear, 17:21 that's not what they should be in there 17:22 or should be afterwards. 17:23 Have to let them figure it out for themselves, 17:25 and be that support as their parent 17:26 to figure out what exactly is it 17:28 that they need to have in their relationship 17:31 and allow them to struggle a little bit. 17:33 As parents, 17:34 we don't want our kids to struggle, 17:35 we wanted to get it perfectly, 17:37 you want to have a great spouse 17:38 wanting to be married to that person 17:40 till the day you die. 17:41 But they may have some rough roads on the path 17:42 and you have to learn how to encourage and support 17:44 and to lift up. 17:46 I don't plan to be in my children, 17:47 and I agree with you, 17:49 I don't plan to be in my children's life. 17:52 You know, every, navigate in every step of the way, 17:54 they're going to have to learn, 17:56 they're going to have to let someone but I do say this, 17:58 and I'm very straight with this point, 18:02 if we don't agree with it, I'm not in it. 18:07 If we agree with the marriage, 18:09 and we agree with who we sign off, 18:11 you get our blessings. 18:12 When you need us, we are there 18:14 but we're not there 18:15 to navigate your life all the way. 18:17 And I'm just very, very plain with that. 18:19 I believe that parents 18:21 we're going to always be parents. 18:22 We'll never stop being parent to our children, 18:24 but we need to give them the space in their marriage 18:27 to grow and to, 18:29 you know, to experience the bumps, 18:30 but you cannot allow them, you can't, I mean, 18:34 have them go through that if you yourself are not whole. 18:38 And a lot of problems we have is that we are broken. 18:42 And as parents, we are not coming to grips, 18:44 we're not willing to come to grips with our brokenness. 18:47 And so we have a broken, 18:49 they're broken parent 18:50 trying to parent broken children. 18:53 So the whole system is broken. 18:55 So only God can help us. 18:57 So we got to come back 18:59 to what you started with prayer, 19:00 and put them in the hands of God, 19:03 and putting ourselves in hands of God, 19:04 and being open and plain and honest with ourselves. 19:08 And I think that's critical, 19:09 you know, when I see so many different spectrums. 19:12 You know, I have mentored young men 19:15 that didn't have a father, 19:17 and they don't know what to do next. 19:19 I've also talked to women 19:20 that whose fathers weren't in their lives, 19:23 and they just, you know, 19:24 you could see that they want to do better, 19:26 but they just don't know how. 19:28 And I think it's important for all of us 19:30 that have any type of experience, 19:34 whatever the case maybe, 19:36 to have that understanding that, 19:37 you know, it's critical, 19:39 and I know for my girls, for our daughters, 19:42 we, you know, 19:44 are very much against the notion 19:47 that they're going to get married one day. 19:49 I am not going to lie. I know what you mean. 19:51 I say to them, you know, you're going to get me 19:54 to the Prince of Peace one day, 19:55 what are you going to do is wait till he comes back. 19:57 That's it. 19:58 That's the bedtime story I'm with you. 19:59 I'm with you there. 20:01 I just did the notion of my daughters growing up, 20:04 the notion of them falling in love 20:07 and having a boyfriend and getting married. 20:09 That just, it bothers me. 20:13 But is reality, 20:14 and one of the things that I've done 20:16 is just to really be involved and become a better father, 20:20 become a better man. 20:21 So they know that 20:23 how a man is supposed to treat them. 20:26 And I think that's so critical. 20:27 You know, there's so many dads out there 20:28 that are not involved. 20:30 And even then when I have relatives 20:34 that whose dad is not in their life, 20:36 you know, they're women, they're grown women 20:38 and there may be times 20:40 that even though they're adults, 20:41 they want to call dad, dad. 20:43 Hey, my, I have a question for you, 20:45 da-da-da, you know, 20:46 just ideas just, you know, bouncing back ideas 20:48 from your father. 20:50 And I'm just, it frustrates me 20:53 to the oddest extent when I see women, 20:56 grown women who, 20:57 who tell me my father is not my life. 20:59 What is wrong with you, man? 21:02 Like you big enough to procreate? 21:05 Be big enough to be in your daughter's life? 21:08 She's innocent, but she didn't do anything, 21:10 she didn't ask to be here. 21:11 Got blessed her to be here. 21:13 It's your job to step up. 21:16 I don't care what the excuses. 21:17 Do you know what you're doing? None of us do. 21:20 But it's not a matter of knowing 21:21 what we were doing, 21:22 it's a matter of knowing who to go to, 21:24 who knows what he's doing. 21:25 And that's Jesus Christ. 21:27 And I think that's important, you know, 21:28 and just really equipping our members, 21:32 'cause you're going to have church members like that. 21:34 And, Gordon, have you had an experience 21:35 with church members like that? 21:37 You know, I've had many experiences like that. 21:40 I can recall, recall one, and I will tell the father, 21:44 so listen, this is, this is your baby girl. 21:47 You need to date your baby girl 21:49 so that she can see 21:51 how a man need to treat her, bring here a rose one day. 21:55 So I'm trying to correct some things in his life 21:59 to help him be a better parent to his child, the brokenness, 22:03 the pain in the daughter's eyes, 22:06 I remember her she is just crying. 22:08 Why? 22:09 Because that that bond wasn't there. 22:13 My daughter Jasmine, she is the light of my life, 22:18 you know, and I'm watching her 17 going on 18 22:22 and I'm saying you know what? 22:26 This is not good times. 22:29 Because I know 22:31 that you're going to have to leave 22:32 home one day, 22:34 but I'm going to make sure that when you leave home, 22:37 you have all the tools that when we help you choose, 22:41 it will be the right person, 22:43 because her dad bring her rose. 22:45 Her dad Snapchats with her. 22:47 We will Snapchat, 22:49 and I don't know what I'm doing 22:50 but I'm doing it, 22:51 you know, we do all this 22:53 because this is what they're doing. 22:55 So I, you know, that is there with you. 22:58 So she knows that that I'm there. 22:59 And I think that is so important 23:01 first to let her, 23:02 you know, let our daughters know 23:04 that listen, 23:06 when I find a man, 23:07 that man's got to be better than my father, 23:10 treat me better than my father, 23:13 even look better than my father. 23:17 What about you? 23:18 I think that's a very, very valid point 23:21 of modeling and showing exactly what it should look like. 23:26 And, but in different aspects, as you said, 23:28 there are some fathers 23:30 who just never had the experience. 23:34 So they don't know how to teach their son 23:35 or how to teach their daughter what it is to expect. 23:38 That's why we talked about earlier, 23:40 you know, asking God, 23:41 searching the scriptures, searching, 23:44 meeting up on different resources, 23:47 podcasts, sermons, all these different things 23:50 just to learn more on what it is to expect. 23:57 It's challenging 23:58 because everyone's relationship is so different. 24:01 And you don't want your child to have any heartache. 24:06 You don't want your child to have any pain, 24:07 but they have to have heartache and they have to have pain. 24:10 And it's a very difficult balance 24:12 to try to figure out 24:13 how do I accept this as the reality. 24:16 And when it comes to young girls, 24:20 what to expect from their father, 24:22 there's some controversy against dating. 24:25 They think that some woman has said 24:26 they don't want their fathers, 24:28 they don't want their children's fathers 24:30 to date their daughters. 24:31 They don't want that type of relationship. 24:33 And there's a lot of controversy. 24:34 That's one of the things 24:35 of how should you date your daughter? 24:39 What does that look like? 24:41 For me what it is, is that we go out together. 24:47 We have where she wants, 24:48 she likes to go to Fire and Ice. 24:50 We go to Fire and Ice together. 24:52 And we talk, we talk about life, 24:54 we talk about different issues. 24:56 And we come back home, we had a good time. 24:58 And do the same with my son. 25:00 This is spending time, 25:01 spending the quality time together. 25:03 At night from, 25:04 since they were babies I will be, 25:06 you know, we will exchange her mom and I, 25:08 we'll go into the room, 25:10 we talk to the one and then I leave, 25:11 my wife is talking to the son and then we flip. 25:14 So it's different ways to do it. 25:17 Would I bring a rose to my daughter? 25:18 Yeah, just for you, to show her to give, 25:22 let her know that her dad values 25:25 where I've got, you know, 25:27 I love her, I care for her and I do the same for my son. 25:30 So that's what it looks like to me. 25:31 And I mean, 25:33 I read all of the different thoughts on it. 25:36 But I still think it is important 25:38 for that child to know 25:41 that her father or his father values. 25:44 It is important. 25:45 It's fun too, you know, where, 25:48 you know, we're gearing up but it's interesting. 25:51 My five year daughter, she's leaving the school, 25:55 little daycare 25:56 and this little boy comes to the fence, says, 25:59 "Andrea, Andrea, where are you going? 26:01 Can I have a kiss?" 26:02 I turned around, I said, "Boy, let me say you something. 26:06 You go and kiss your mom and dad," 26:08 like I'm saying, 26:10 "Lord, keep me, Lord, keep me right now, " 26:11 because that boy is gonna get the whipping right now. 26:14 But it's fun interacting 26:15 and having seen your children grow. 26:17 And I think that's key for any relationship. 26:21 Is there anything else you wanted to add 26:22 in the last little bit we have? 26:24 I just want to, I just want to add briefly 26:26 is that I think it's very important 26:28 for fathers to step up and take it more 26:31 even though your life has been broken, 26:35 you can learn, there's resources, learn. 26:38 Learn as much as you can to fill those gaps 26:41 that you can pass on something valuable 26:45 for your children, model, 26:46 model prayer, model how to treat your wife, 26:50 make sure that they've seen you hug and kiss 26:53 and loving on their mothers. 26:55 It's a great thing 26:56 my daughter will come and will sit 26:57 inside in the middle of us so that she... 27:00 And it's fun. 27:01 So you got to model these things to them. 27:03 And further, I appreciate everything you've done 27:06 and now we, unfortunately, we're out of time, 27:09 so got to let the brethren know out there, you guys, 27:12 you know, just remember 27:15 being a father is never easy 27:17 whether you've had the model parents 27:18 or you've had no father in your life. 27:21 But it's still no excuse for you not to step up. 27:25 Nowadays there are so many resources out there 27:27 available to you, to educate you. 27:29 And guess what? 27:31 Even though I'm married to my lovely wife, 27:33 and we have two wonderful kids, 27:34 I still don't know what I'm doing. 27:37 And that's just the fact of it. 27:38 It's about growing together with your children, 27:41 and having fun, 27:43 because these are memories you will never get back. 27:46 So please be part of your kid's life. 27:48 Stop making excuses. 27:50 And for you fathers 27:52 who have grown women as daughters, 27:53 step up. 27:55 Stop it. 27:56 Thank you for watching. |
Revised 2020-10-26