Participants:
Series Code: AFH
Program Code: AFH000023A
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00:01 A good father takes time to play.
00:05 He has strong integrity. 00:08 He is someone that is truly dedicated. 00:12 He is not afraid to show his love. 00:15 He is a caring provider. 00:18 And he is a kind spiritual leader. 00:23 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart. 00:31 Hi, and welcome to A Father's Heart. 00:33 I'm your host, Xavier. 00:34 And today, we're going to be discussing 00:36 the cultural differences of manhood. 00:38 And with me to discuss that are my friends 00:40 Denry and Paul. 00:42 How you guys doing today? 00:43 Hey, blessed to be here again, brother. 00:45 All right, all right. Thanks for another opportunity. 00:47 So there's a high expectation for us, biblically, as fathers. 00:52 What about culturally? 00:53 Are there differences 00:55 and what can we do to not fizzle out 00:59 or I guess fall through the cracks 01:01 or compromise our spirituality? 01:05 Well, I think we have to remain adaptive 01:07 and that in itself may be a challenge, 01:09 how do we adapt to 01:11 without compromising biblical standard, 01:15 but we're in a culture that's ever changing, 01:17 we're in a society 01:19 wherein its culture is ever changing. 01:20 Our children are experiencing 01:23 a different cultural environment 01:25 certainly than we did or our parents did, 01:28 yet we have to be able to be observant enough, 01:32 responsive enough, proactive enough 01:35 to learn and understand that culture 01:38 and somehow be able to maintain Christian standards in the home 01:44 while not engaging too much conflict, 01:47 you know, to the point where you nullify 01:50 what it is that you're trying to instill in your child. 01:52 So don't be ignorant 01:56 would be my first word of encouragement 01:58 to all the fathers and all the parents out there. 02:00 Don't be ignorant to the culture of the times, 02:03 the fact that you are learned or knowledgeable of it 02:06 does not mean you condone or accept it, 02:08 but at least understand how it works... 02:10 Exactly. 02:12 So that we can maintain 02:13 a balance within the nuclear family. 02:15 You know, one of the... 02:17 I don't know 02:18 if there are studies been done about it, 02:19 but, you know, in the '70s, '80s, and '90s and 2000s, 02:24 you have a lot of immigrants coming into the United States 02:28 from the West Indies where we came from, 02:31 and I don't think our parents were ready for it. 02:34 Think about it for a second. They're raised... 02:36 You know my family were raised in the country area of Jamaica, 02:39 right? 02:40 So they're not used to skyscrapers, 02:41 they're not used to bus, subways, 02:44 those kind of situation, 02:47 they were used to going out 4 o'clock in the morning, 02:49 taking care of the cows, all these things, 02:51 and now they transition, come to New York City, 02:54 hall of New York, right? 02:57 Total cultural clash, 02:59 and they're still trying to raise us 03:02 with a West Indian mindset in an American society. 03:07 I would remember my dad even saying things like this, 03:11 "I know what you're thinking 03:12 'cause that's what I was doing when I was younger 03:14 or I've been there already, 03:16 I've been there already, I've done that already." 03:18 Or, you know, I was like, "No, you don't. 03:21 You've never went in the subway when you were younger." 03:24 And so there is that cultural clash for us 03:27 who came to this country, 03:29 you know, there's certain way of thinking, 03:32 they used to... 03:33 The men always at outside, 03:35 working either in the field or have a career, 03:38 the wives either at home 03:40 or doing some merchant job of selling fabric and stuff, 03:43 they come here, sometimes the roles are reversed. 03:46 My mom went to get a GED, 03:48 my stepdad came into my life later on 03:50 and I remember in conversations, he would say, 03:53 "Man, I wish my wife would be at home 03:55 and be a wife and cook some food for me, 03:58 you know, like they used to do back in the days." 04:00 But my mom was out there working two jobs 04:03 to match his income 04:04 so that we can have food on the table, 04:08 that's a real challenge, 04:09 that was a real challenge for us. 04:10 It's tough. 04:12 We have to balance all of that as I'm saying 04:15 with the evolving needs. 04:17 What we have to ensure also 04:19 relative to what Denry is saying, 04:21 we have to ensure 04:22 that we know the constants, all right? 04:25 So things may change 04:26 wherein you are no longer having family breakfast, 04:32 you're no longer having family lunch, God forbid, 04:34 you're no longer having family dinner together 04:36 because everybody is off doing something, 04:38 you know, or even when we do, we have this new very... 04:44 What is it? 04:45 I don't even know what to term it. 04:47 But where everybody is in the device, 04:49 everybody is in iPad and iPhone or Android or whatever, 04:54 you know, everybody is in some kind of electronic device, 04:56 even when we are at times 04:58 where we should be cohesively bonding, 05:01 but the constants are, 05:02 one in devotion, daily devotion, 05:04 whatever time it is in your family, 05:06 you want to make sure you instill consistency 05:11 within that exercise, 05:13 regardless of what cultural nuance 05:15 or changes 05:17 you're facing within the home. 05:19 Something that I'd like to talk about a little bit 05:22 is culture and discipline within the home of the Father 05:27 because God is so good, 05:29 I got out of seminary, 05:31 I didn't receive a full time commitment immediately 05:34 so I continued in the area of social work, 05:37 and so within that timeframe, 05:39 I became a program supervisor 05:42 for southwest Michigan area of Berrien County 05:45 supervising four counties, 05:47 population of over about more than 50,000 for sure, 05:51 but all the cases for those four counties 05:55 would end up on my desk, 05:57 anything dealing with CPS 05:59 and reunification of children to their bio parents. 06:05 So these are parents 06:07 who had infractions in their home 06:08 that caused the state to remove their children, 06:10 place the children in foster care, 06:12 they have completed a court process 06:15 and have demonstrated the court in some way 06:17 that they're competent 06:18 to correct the mistakes they made 06:19 and parent the child, 06:21 but before the court releases wardship, 06:24 they would have to complete my program. 06:26 And there were times when, you know, at any given day, 06:29 I'd have about 30 to 40 cases on my desk that I'm reviewing 06:34 and it would hit me like a brick 06:37 when I would go through some of those cases 06:40 and recognize by the demographics 06:42 and the details shared, 06:43 this is a Seventh-day Adventist person. 06:44 Wow. I'd be like, "Whoa." 06:46 And then I would read further 06:48 the details of what caused the removal from the home, 06:51 and sometimes, it would stun me 06:54 that a Christian parent was demonstrating 06:57 this kind of behavior in parenting. 06:59 And in some cases, 07:01 I could clearly see this case should not be here, 07:04 this person... 07:05 There was a breakdown in communication 07:07 and understanding somewhere. 07:09 So what I'm saying here 07:10 is it's important for us in the church 07:11 to be educated on the appropriate way 07:15 to discipline our children 07:16 as it pertains to the laws of the state, 07:19 what we need to be aware of 07:21 and what we need to ensure 07:23 we do or don't do 07:25 and your cultural background, 07:28 whether you were from the US originally or not, 07:31 we are all under the umbrella of a Christian culture, 07:34 of a biblical culture 07:35 and there are those of us 07:37 who read or receive this biblical culture, 07:40 take it literally in many ways, 07:43 you know, all the varied reference 07:44 may have spared a rod and spoil the child etcetera, etcetera, 07:47 and we take that to the extreme. 07:52 So it's important to know that balance. 07:55 You know, and that has been a good point too because, 07:59 for example, for me, 08:01 I came for Puerto Rico, 08:03 different culture, different setting, 08:05 you know, it's a patriarchal culture, 08:08 where as they say, you know, 08:10 the women are supposed to be in the kitchen. 08:14 Given the fact that my home that I grew up in, 08:16 it wasn't like that... 08:18 Oh. 08:19 'Cause my mom wasn't having that. 08:21 I was about to say, "Watch it." 08:22 Exactly. My mom wasn't having that. 08:24 You know, I was raised differently, 08:26 my parents shared the balance equally. 08:29 My dad taught me, you know, you share a home equally, 08:33 you know, if she cooks and cleans, 08:35 you can also cook and clean, 08:37 you know, but where my clash comes in is the division, 08:42 what I mean by that is I'm here in the States, 08:46 I've been here for many, many, many, many years, 08:50 but I still cannot get used to it 08:52 because I try to say hi to my neighbor 08:55 and they're shutting the door before I can get a word out. 08:58 Like you said, everybody's on something 09:00 or some kind of electronic device, 09:01 nobody talks to each other, 09:02 I'm not used to that, 09:04 I'm used to saying good morning. 09:05 You know, when I go back home to visit 09:06 or go to my wife's island of Antigua to go visit, 09:10 you say good morning. 09:11 Good morning. Yes. 09:12 If you don't speak up... 09:14 Yes. 09:15 That means that you're letting the whole neighborhood know 09:17 that there's something going on between you two, 09:18 there's a beef that's, 09:19 you know, there's an issue that you two have 09:22 because you're not saying good morning. 09:24 I'm not used to such a individualistic culture. 09:28 And my girls, I'm trying to teach them, 09:30 you know, be inclusive, not exclusive... 09:32 Yeah. 09:34 You know, and that's something that's permeated 09:35 our churches as well 09:36 because as men in the church, as fathers, 09:39 we see that we have slowly drifted 09:43 and become more of an exclusive culture... 09:47 Yeah. Not an inclusive. 09:49 So how do we work on that? 09:51 How can we change 09:53 that exclusivity of our churches 09:55 into an inclusive, 09:57 you know, place for all people especially as men? 10:00 It's a community, church community, 10:03 having more than just worship on Sabbath, 10:06 afternoon programs where people dialogue, 10:09 they share small groups at people's homes 10:13 so they could share ideas, share viewpoints. 10:17 You know, I've seen with families... 10:18 There are three Rs 10:20 that's always having a hard time. 10:21 Respect and understanding of what respect means, 10:24 understanding that what's responsibilities, 10:27 and understanding of roles, 10:28 especially with cultures, 10:30 all three of those mean different things. 10:33 I was raised in also a Hispanic Jamaican home. 10:38 My stepfather is from Costa Rica, 10:40 his parent is a Hispanic, right? 10:43 We're South American, yeah. 10:44 Yes. Central. 10:46 Central, yeah, Central America, but he was Hispanic, right? 10:48 So he had a Latino background. 10:53 Basically, his principles were from a Spanish home 10:57 and my mother is Jamaican, 10:59 and so there were times their view of manners, 11:03 respect would clash. 11:05 His rule was basically if you see anybody, 11:08 you talk to them, right? 11:10 Her rule was, "Well, we're in the United States, 11:12 these people are strangers. 11:14 I don't want them to hurt our children. 11:15 If we know them, yes, we say hello to them, 11:18 but if we don't know them, 11:20 you know, we may nod and move on." 11:22 And this was also a culture in New York City. 11:25 In New York City, 11:26 you don't talk to strangers, even adults. 11:29 When I went to Alabama, to Huntsville, Alabama, 11:32 everybody's saying hello to me. 11:33 I'm like, "Why? 11:35 Did I do something wrong?" Do I know you? 11:36 Exactly. Do I know you? 11:38 Do I owe you money? 11:39 And so even there... 11:41 Then the roles, you know, in the home, 11:42 like as I mentioned before, 11:43 my dad, he just had this mindset, 11:45 the wife needs to be at home, taking care of the children, 11:48 cooking the food, 11:50 you know, doing a little washing here, whatever. 11:52 I go out, I go hunt and provide the food, 11:56 she comes home cooks it, 11:58 I sit around on the couch and wait until it's ready. 12:02 Man, there was a clash within that 12:04 'cause my mother was like, 12:05 "No, that's not how we're going to do this." 12:08 And so there was always this arguing. 12:10 So here I am, here I am now, 12:13 this junior teenager or early teen, 12:17 and I'm watching this 12:18 and I'm watching these two go back and forth, 12:20 two different cultures clashing, 12:22 and here I am trying to learn who I am, 12:25 my identity, in America. 12:27 Do you know where I really got my identity? 12:29 The church. The church. 12:32 When we would have the pastor of the church like, 12:35 Kendal Guy, Abraham Jules, 12:37 they will have these rap sessions, 12:39 these coming together... 12:40 The men of the church will talk 12:42 and the ladies will go on another side and they talk. 12:44 You know, people don't do that no more, 12:46 I'm going to bring that back as a pastor, 12:48 and just these conversations... 12:50 And so you hear new ideas 12:52 and my stepfather would hear these ideas, 12:55 and go like, "Oh, oh. 12:56 Okay, okay, I can do that. 12:59 I think I can do that." 13:00 And so that helped us, 13:02 so the church community 13:04 doing those things outside of worship, 13:07 but coming together as a community, 13:09 building and growing together, 13:11 that really is what helped me 13:14 when my parents were going back and forth like a tennis match. 13:16 Boom, boom, boom. 13:18 I went to the church and I would say, "Okay." 13:20 I would say, "This is the path I want to take." 13:25 That's crazy. 13:26 You know, and I'm reminded of that 13:27 because Jesus Himself, 13:31 He was an anomaly so to speak, 13:36 you know, He did not fit the cultural norm. 13:39 That's why He got crucified... 13:40 Exactly. 13:41 Because He didn't fit the cultural norm. 13:43 You know, and you mentioned something, 13:44 you know, Jamaican getting used to acclimating yourself 13:49 to a different culture 13:51 while still retaining your own culture, 13:53 and that's something that is extremely difficult 13:56 because on one hand, 13:58 you know, this is how you do things back home, 14:01 but now you're in a different home 14:04 and it seems like 14:05 it's hitting you from every angle. 14:07 You know, how do you keep a leveled head 14:10 to be able to help your kids? 14:11 Because I know one of the demands for me, 14:13 people always ask me, 14:15 "You're from Puerto Rico, right, 14:16 you teach your kids Spanish" 14:18 And I'm like, well, I am 14:19 but now because you're telling me to 14:21 because the culture 14:22 or whatever you want to call it says I have to, 14:25 but it's because I want them to learn a different language. 14:27 I want them to know where they come from 14:29 because that's where I found my identity 14:31 when I learned my identity here 14:34 but when I found out Puerto Rico, my ancestry 14:37 and that's how I found my identity 14:39 and the church enhanced it by community... 14:42 Yeah. 14:43 'Cause that's what we were taught in seminary 14:45 that people come to church 14:46 but they stay because of the relationships 14:48 they build. 14:50 Yeah. That's right. 14:51 So culturally... 14:53 I'm just lost of words. 14:54 What can we do? What do we do? 14:56 If I can say just before your go. 14:57 Yeah, sure. 14:59 Culture is seasoning, it's flavor, okay? 15:03 Our spirituality of faith, that's the meat or the salad, 15:06 whatever it is, it's culture is... 15:09 So just like some people like paprika, 15:12 some people like turmeric, that helps to season the food. 15:15 The problem is when we make culture our religion, 15:20 a culture our, you know, that this has to be this way. 15:23 Culture is a seasoning because the way... 15:26 Even if he and I were from the same community, 15:29 we still see things different. 15:31 He is raising his home, I'm raising my home, 15:33 so I'm going to bring my seasoning to the table, 15:35 he's going to bring his seasoning to the table. 15:38 Absolutely. Absolutely. 15:39 I think remaining culturally relevant 15:42 is very important 15:44 and the only way we can do that 15:46 is by being culturally knowledgeable... 15:48 Yeah. 15:50 Culturally informed, culturally educated. 15:52 As Christian fathers, we have to be careful 15:55 that we are not to... 15:58 You used the word exclusive, inclusive. 16:01 A lot of us, we have a sense of dominant culture, 16:04 which of course is ours. 16:06 So, you know, you tell your child something like, 16:09 "Oh, we don't do it like that in here, 16:11 you know, where you get that from? 16:14 You know, we don't do it like that." 16:15 You know, whatever form of authority 16:17 you're going to express. 16:19 You have to be careful with that. 16:22 Learn to use Facebook, learn to text, 16:27 you know, at least learn those things, 16:30 learn some form of social media 16:32 to communicate with your children. 16:35 That's the way they communicate, okay, 16:36 send them a text message. 16:38 You know, it made no sense to me that... 16:40 I remember the first day, 16:41 phone buzzes, pick up the phone, 16:44 it's my daughter Avia, 16:45 "Dad, how come blah, blah, blah." 16:47 I was like, 16:49 "Didn't I just hear your voice? 16:51 Aren't you in the house? 16:53 Avia!" 16:54 Then I hear from way, 16:55 you know, another floor 16:57 over the couple of rooms like, "Yes!" 16:58 "Why you texting me, child? You're in the house. 17:02 If you got something to ask me, come ask me." 17:05 You know, but I learned, 17:07 hey, that's the way they communicate. 17:09 She doesn't want to leave her bedroom, 17:10 she can easily just send a text message to me. 17:12 So I learned to communicate by text with her also, 17:14 these things are important, 17:16 and as I'm saying also even as it pertains 17:19 to the civil culture within which we function, 17:22 we must learn and understand it. 17:24 This issue that I mentioned 17:25 earlier of culture and discipline 17:28 is a very serious one. 17:29 So churches also, we as fathers, 17:32 need to do our best to educate our congregations 17:36 and our communities 17:37 on how to understand and how to function 17:40 within those cultural norms. 17:43 Yeah. 17:44 And I like that because you brought something 17:46 a question to my mind that, 17:47 you know, I can be like that, 17:48 that's not how we do it back in Puerto Rico. 17:51 You know, and part of it is 17:53 because I see what the world's coming to, 17:55 what these young people are coming to, 17:57 you know, where CPS is called if you discipline them, 18:01 and if you spank them and it's not a feather, 18:05 then everybody gets mad, 18:07 you know, and just so many different things 18:10 culturally that I just... 18:12 Man, it just makes me angry, like, leave me alone. 18:15 Leave me alone, let me raise my children 18:16 the way I want to raise my children, 18:18 but, you know, you brought up a good question 18:21 that I think we can generalize it 18:23 to the church in general. 18:26 How do we adapt without compromising? 18:31 As fathers, as a church, as pastors, 18:34 how do we adapt to a culture, 18:37 you know, and change up? 18:39 As they say, you know, 18:40 you have a different methods of delivery 18:43 through the years, they've changed, 18:45 the contents of the package hasn't changed, 18:48 but the way it's delivered has changed, 18:50 and it seems like a lot of times, 18:52 both in church and outside a church, 18:54 we seem to be stuck in the same delivery method 18:58 which is no longer functional at times. 19:00 So how do we adapt without compromise? 19:03 Yes, yes. 19:05 Being culturally relative 19:07 without compromising biblical principle. 19:10 You know, I think God through His Holy Spirit... 19:14 If you and I have a close relationship with God, 19:16 if we have a daily relationship with Him, 19:18 there's much of that 19:20 that the Holy Spirit will give to us, 19:23 the Holy Spirit will also teach us 19:24 new languages of communication, new forms of communication, 19:30 that's part of our general growth 19:32 and development 19:33 and we really should not be resistant to that. 19:37 I think it's helpful for us to... 19:39 The men's ministry is another significant one 19:42 within our churches where as men, 19:45 we can get together and we can discuss these things 19:48 using the church as a forum in some sense, 19:53 Denry mentioned earlier, 19:54 I think you were referring to like AY programs 19:56 if I'm not mistaken. 19:57 You know, but having these type of workshops within the church, 19:59 whether it's AY, whether it's on a Sunday, 20:02 just providing this education to the general public 20:04 and to the church population is also helpful. 20:09 But I think what retards the process 20:13 is this fear and insecurity 20:15 that I cannot be culturally relevant 20:18 and at the same time be biblical, 20:19 and that's not true, 20:21 that's not the model that Christ gave us either. 20:24 I think Christ did very well to interact. 20:27 Ellen White uses the term mingle, 20:30 but He took time to know individuals, 20:32 to understand their cultural mindset 20:35 and then He spoke back to them in their language, 20:38 in their cultural language. 20:40 So I think we have to do the same in our homes, 20:42 with our children, 20:43 you've got to learn your child's cultural language 20:46 or your children's cultural language 20:48 and speak it back to them. 20:49 Yes. 20:50 It's still the gospel you're sharing with them, 20:52 but you're speaking in a different language. 20:53 Yes, you know, the danger is 20:57 when you worded down someone else's culture 21:00 and make your culture superior. 21:04 You know, when one superiority over the other, 21:07 that's going to cause a war, so you don't cause confusion. 21:10 You know, I find with my young people, 21:12 they are looking for culture. 21:15 They're looking for culture, 21:16 they're going to look for it in the music, 21:18 they're going to look for it in a celebrity, 21:20 they're looking for culture. 21:22 You know why? 21:23 Because culture also brews values. 21:26 Going back to my analogy with the seasonings. 21:28 There are some seasonings that are not good... 21:30 Mm-hmm. 21:32 You know, maybe, you know, they're so in your culture, 21:33 you should look and say, "Okay, 21:35 what things in my culture 21:36 are not going to help my child's spirituality?" 21:40 Okay? 21:41 "My child is not going to grow in my culture." 21:43 So if it's a black pepper, "Okay, 21:45 we're not going to use black pepper no more, 21:47 but we have cayenne pepper in our culture, 21:49 so let's use that." 21:51 You see what I'm saying? 21:52 What are the things in my culture 21:53 that's going to help bring my child 21:56 closer to Christ? 21:58 What are the things in my culture that 21:59 that brings value to families? 22:02 You know, some of our cultures... 22:03 I love Hispanic cultures 22:05 in the sense that they love to come together 22:08 no matter what they're doing at the end of the day, 22:11 have beans and rice together, 22:12 you know, and the whole family is there. 22:15 I'll never forget, we went to someplace else 22:18 in Central America, right? 22:20 Right next to Costa Rica, 22:22 and it was breakfast, it was what? 22:24 Breakfast. 22:25 The whole family was there, 22:27 the aunts, the uncles, the grandma, grandpa, 22:30 uncles, dad, children, everybody, 22:32 and everybody participated in making breakfast. 22:36 That was so dynamic. 22:37 I went back to America, got me a toast, 22:40 you know, and cream cheese, 22:42 you know, and everybody is rushing in and out 22:45 to go to work. 22:46 So there are things in our cultures 22:48 that are essence, 22:49 are flavors to help our spiritual growth, 22:52 and those are the things we need to with our children, 22:55 not just AY, but I was also talking about Sundays 22:58 and, you know, having just some bonding 23:01 to different people of different cultures. 23:03 Appreciate different people's cultures 23:06 and that will help 23:07 because your children are always looking, 23:09 "What can I pass on? 23:11 I want to be like my dad. I want to be like my mom. 23:14 And then when I get older, 23:15 I would like to pass on something to my children." 23:17 So give them the good flavor of our culture 23:20 to help their spirituality. 23:21 We like avocados too. 23:23 Don't forget that. 23:25 Yeah, we like it too. 23:26 We like the avocado 23:28 with a little bit of adobo right there. 23:29 Yes, sir. 23:31 Amen. 23:32 Xavier, we were talking 23:33 about role distinction a little earlier also, 23:35 which I think is of great importance. 23:38 And I'm not too keen on stripping families 23:43 of their cultural understanding of the role distinction 23:47 because those things 23:49 are a part of a tightly woven fiber often 23:52 and if you try to undo it too much, 23:55 then everything just becomes like, 23:57 you know, loose yarn. 23:59 So for the family to remain a unit 24:02 and to remain secure as a unit, 24:04 it's often important that we respect those norms. 24:08 So if your culture is such 24:10 that only men put the garbage out 24:14 or only men lift heavy objects or only men do shopping 24:20 or whatever it may be or only men do dishes, 24:24 then if that's of value to you, that's fine. 24:29 I think you can still maintain those practices 24:32 or that role distinction 24:35 and yet remain centered within Christian principle, 24:40 even for the migrant population. 24:42 We've had a shift 24:44 wherein most women are who satisfied 24:49 the initial migration pool to the US. 24:51 My mom came to the US in about 1968, 24:55 her younger sister, my aunt, came in the earlier 60s, 24:58 but it was mainly women 25:00 and this was a result of the US facing sequential wars, 25:04 you know, we had World War II, 25:06 then Korea War, Vietnam War, 25:09 hope I have the order correctly, 25:11 but it depleted the female civil resource 25:15 within the United States. 25:16 So women were no longer teachers and customer services, 25:20 and a lot of them went and worked in the factories. 25:23 So once the war was done 25:24 and the US societies now redeveloping, 25:26 the community is rebuilding itself, 25:28 there was this void of females to satisfy civil service roles, 25:32 and so the US opened its migration port 25:34 and influx thousands of Caribbean women 25:38 because they were English speaking 25:39 and they were right there and they were skilled 25:41 and licensed etcetera, etcetera. 25:43 Most of the men got left behind, 25:45 the men came after 25:47 and then they had to kind of do catch up. 25:49 So a lot of our homes had matriarchs, 25:52 females taking the leading role. 25:55 And sometimes, 25:57 you're forced to do things like that to adapt 26:00 to a new cultural environment or a new society 26:02 and you have to be malleable or flexible enough 26:05 to embrace these things 26:07 while yet remembering 26:09 your Christian commitment and biblical principle, 26:13 but it can be done. 26:15 Yeah, it sounds like, you know, 26:17 like multicultural fatherhood 26:19 is one of like when you're cooking a big meal, 26:23 you know, it's almost, I think, a heaven, 26:26 you know, because 26:27 everybody's bringing something different to the table, 26:29 but we can all feast on something great 26:32 if we just come together. 26:34 Yes. 26:36 And I think that's the most critical part as fathers 26:37 is coming together, 26:39 acknowledging that, you know... 26:41 But we can't do it alone. 26:43 We can't do it alone. 26:44 We have to do it together 26:46 and just bring to the table what you got. 26:48 You know, and work on what we need 26:50 and what we have and just really look to Christ 26:53 to bind us together. 26:54 And for the audience that's viewing, 26:57 you know, 26:59 there's always that what if factor, 27:03 that question, that confusion 27:06 or, you know, maybe you're from a different country, 27:09 you're brand new to this country, 27:12 you know, maybe there's some apprehension, 27:13 maybe you're just mad as a father 27:16 because you see the way the world is going 27:18 and this is not how we did it back in my day. 27:20 Well, a lot of us have those same thoughts, 27:23 but we've got to come to realize that, 27:25 yeah, it's not like back in our day, it's today. 27:28 You know, but just like Christ, 27:31 rise above and change the cultural norm 27:35 and adapt without compromising. 27:38 We too can do the same thing for our children 27:40 to show our children 27:42 the ability to be inclusive of all cultures, 27:46 not exclusive, while at the same time 27:48 holding tight to that foundation 27:50 that only Christ can give, 27:52 and that is such an important part for you 27:54 as a father to contribute to your child. 27:57 Please step up, step out and do your role as a father. 28:00 Thank you. |
Revised 2018-10-18